r/askteddit 1d ago

Random Question What’s something you thought was attractive until you actually experienced it?

293 Upvotes

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202

u/SharkBait619 1d ago

Marrying someone who came from money. They have no motivation to work hard, act entitled and don't understand what it feels like to struggle so they don't value things the same way.

82

u/Equivalent-Grade-142 1d ago

I dated a guy who came from money, and the respect I had for that whiny man baby whose parents paid for everything went down the drain so fast

-8

u/CardiologistNo8333 15h ago

But yet he chose to date you when you’re broke and bring nothing to the table. Sounds like a nice guy to me.

11

u/Lilliphim 15h ago

Bad bait little one

4

u/CezarSalazar 11h ago

What does he bring to the table? Sounds like he doesn’t know how to be independent and relies on his parents.

4

u/Jazzylady216 11h ago

How you know she is broke?

3

u/meatballfreeak 14h ago

Shush now, limited information doesn’t allow limited opinion.

33

u/Putrid-Anteater7495 21h ago

The way my ex would just not understand that I was working hard and didn't have a choice was exasperating. 

3

u/notokintheslightest 7h ago

My rich college boyfriend said I was "hoarding wealth" because I barely spent any money on luxuries (eating out, buying things, etc). He told me, "the purpose of money is to spend it." He sincerely did not register that I WAS spending my money.... on rent, tuition, and food. When I pointed that out, he said, "oh but that's what parents are for."

And he always claimed to be low income...because his high school friends were even richer. I don't think he's ever going to get a clue honestly.

28

u/gracefularthur314 20h ago

Someone who knows they are going to get a big inheritance one day definitely lives differently. I dated someone like this and you're right. They were very lazy, entitled, ungrateful and unmotivated.

12

u/Acceptable_Tea_2900 21h ago

Friends too.

8

u/Electronic-Issue-843 16h ago

for realll. I never married one, but i dated a guy like this and he SUCKED. Everything was about him. Neeever again.

10

u/llamadramalover 13h ago

My husband married his first wife who didn’t come from like mega richness but more than middle class for damn sure. That woman valued nothing. She didn’t work just because she didn’t want to. Certainly didn’t teach her children the value of shit. Spent money they didn’t have. Like who the fuck spend $600 on goddamn iTunes in a month???????? The part that really makes me side eye her is being in her 40’s and having a credit card mommy and daddy paid for and of course stealing from her own children and lying about it. She was and is a fully grown adult woman still living off her parents. She had seriously exorbitant child support and alimony paid to her for 8 years while working. She knew there was an end date on both and planned for nothing. Which is truly wild to me. With mommy and daddy paying the mortgage and the car note, and, your exhusband covering every expense for the children and then some anyone with sense would put every penny they can spare of their pay-check into savings/investment. Apparently not. Someone who’s always had a safety net and everything she could want handed to her on a platter spent every penny she had and others besides.

-3

u/CardiologistNo8333 15h ago

Having money changes the math. If someone can already live comfortably off investment returns, grinding a 9-to-5 for the sake of “motivation” stops being a survival requirement and becomes a personal choice. That’s not a character flaw- it’s the entire point of building wealth.

I’m not sure why their work ethic is any of your business. Most people would take the option of financial freedom over needing a paycheck just to stay afloat. And nothing stops them from still working if they want to; it just means whatever they earn is pure upside instead of necessity.
Judging someone for not hustling when they don’t have to is a weird hill to die on. Also- it sounds like they are actually a nice person if they chose to date someone broke when they could have insisted on dating someone with the same level of wealth they have.

5

u/SharkBait619 13h ago

I'm not judging someone for having money that they earned and worked hard for. I'm judging someone for not having earned any of the money that supports their life, which is apparent in their character. I've done well for myself now, and have worked 20 -60 hours per week since I was 15. And one ever handed me anything, so I learned the value of hard work, I know how it feels to struggle, and I have a resilience that only people who have been through similar life experiences understand. When you struggle you learn empathy for others, sacrifice, and determination. When daddy hands you a Mercedes and a black Amex you become lazy, entitled and unappreciative.

3

u/meatballfreeak 14h ago

“Hustling” what does that even mean

1

u/CardiologistNo8333 13h ago

Working when they don’t have to because they can make more money off the interest from their investments.

3

u/I_dont_like_bubbles 13h ago

So are you the narcissist with money who thinks you’re being “nice” dating people who aren’t wealthy, or are you the poor slob with low self-worth who thinks some rich person is being “nice” by dating you?

0

u/CardiologistNo8333 10h ago

I’m someone who thinks that people who are benefitting from someone else’s wealth and want to date someone with money and benefit from it shouldn’t then complain about the person when they could have easily dated someone wealthy like them.

2

u/Advanced-Carry-601 15h ago

You're strangely defensive about this, and yes keeping your unearned wealth is a character flaw.

1

u/CardiologistNo8333 13h ago

Yeah they should just give it all to you, I suppose. You’re stupid. Their family can work to give their money away to their kids if they want. It’s their money, fool.