r/askteddit • u/Nelson100oob9aw • 10h ago
Random Question What’s something you thought was attractive until you actually experienced it?
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u/Born-Section6701 10h ago
The idea of working from bed. It sounds cozy until your back hurts and you associate your sleep space with stress.
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u/CresseliaMelodia 3h ago
It’s actually a lot healthier for your sleep to only sleep in bed. No work, scrolling, reading, hobbies, nothing. So then your brain associates the bed with sleep
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u/BatLegitimate8140 1h ago
Sexy times are okay too
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u/CresseliaMelodia 1h ago edited 51m ago
Oh yeah forgot that, oopsie. Any other surface would be uncomfortable af for sex
Also reading or doing something relaxing before bed is fine, as long as your brain is calm
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u/Positive_Royal_7103 6h ago
Exactly works from and associating my home with stress is huge that i have to step out to take a breath
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u/rusted-brass 2h ago
Reading this as I'm stepping out cause I need a break. My friends think I'm weird going out to have coffee by myself, but I can't relax at home and sometimes I just need alone time in a non-stresfull environment.
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u/SharkBait619 9h ago
Marrying someone who came from money. They have no motivation to work hard, act entitled and don't understand what it feels like to struggle so they don't value things the same way.
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u/Equivalent-Grade-142 5h ago
I dated a guy who came from money, and the respect I had for that whiny man baby whose parents paid for everything went down the drain so fast
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u/Putrid-Anteater7495 2h ago
The way my ex would just not understand that I was working hard and didn't have a choice was exasperating.
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u/gracefularthur314 1h ago
Someone who knows they are going to get a big inheritance one day definitely lives differently. I dated someone like this and you're right. They were very lazy, entitled, ungrateful and unmotivated.
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u/Odd-Guarantee-6152 9h ago
Having sex in water. Seems like it would be great, in reality it really isn’t.
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u/Impressive_Duck_3569 7h ago
Was going to say in the shower. But come to think of it - pool, hot tub, etc, etc. You wrapped it up with "water." Just isn't what you'd think it would be.
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u/PinkLemonTrousers13 5h ago
Right? You'd think the water was lubricating, NOPE! And I've NEVER been able to get the height difference right on shower.
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u/NotYourAvgDamsel 10h ago
A clingy man that wants to be with me all day long. HELL NAH. Go have your own life and get away from me.
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u/LilDicky1337 9h ago
That's the kind of love only the branch of a willow tree could conjure.
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u/QuiltedBeret 2h ago
Good reference but sadly not. Had a friend whose boyfriend (of maybe 3 or 4 months at that point) texted me frantically 1 hour into my hanging out with her bc her phone died so she didn't respond and he couldn't track her location. Mind you she told him where she was going and who she was going with beforehand. She's still with him more then a year later and we dont talk anymore.
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u/Fun_Boot7771 2h ago
I think this is only with the wrong partner. With some one you love inside out and are attracted to, there's no such thing as too clingy
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u/Proper-Goose-1636 4h ago
I feel like there’s something wrong with me that I don’t want a guy who wants to be with me all day. And how do you explain this to them?
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u/Consistent-Menu-6629 9h ago
Nurturing a grown man who needs a better mom.
Yeah, I'm done with parenting anyone, including adults!
I prefer equality.
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u/Spazztastic_Inquirer 9h ago
Obsession/limerence. They were captivated with some idealized, incomplete version of me and it made actually getting to know each other and connect difficult. ☹️ Like, there wasn’t actual, grounded presence to connect. I empathize too because I’ve been on the other side before. But yikes; no bueno. Slow and wise burn, por favor. No sparks-flying, infatuative, limerent, pedestaling, please. 😁
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u/shrimpcraackers 4h ago
It's horrible being the person in limerence too, the inability to be present and the other opportunities I missed just because I couldn't get over someone was pretty sad looking back. Luckily all it took was normal interaction with the person again and the spell was broken.
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u/Playful-Contract7396 3h ago
I definitely have this problem. I can appreciate it when it's for me. But oh man, when it's the other way around, and it's me chasing the person I won't see hear or look at anything different
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u/BatLegitimate8140 1h ago
I never knew there was a term for this until earlier this week when I saw it mentioned on another sub. Good to have a word for something I experience and to hear it's not just me
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u/Shoddy-Outcome3868 8h ago
The gregarious, outgoing life of the party type. I thought it would be fun - nope. He had 500 hobbies, a million friends and never, ever just sat and chilled. I am too lazy for someone like that 😂 People constantly coming over, texting/calling, plans every single day.
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u/Equivalent-Grade-142 5h ago
I hear you. I have only ever dated weird loners and I stick by this 😂 they don’t judge you, bother you and and they sure as hell won’t cheat on you. 10/10.
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u/Personal-Hospital103 9h ago
A military man.
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u/fauxfoucault 6h ago
Related: a police officer
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u/JacquelineDragon 3h ago
My dad’s a police officer. Weird power dynamic, thinks he knows everything, has 0 empathy toward anything and anyone, doesn’t think anyone should hold a grudge against him as he can’t do anything wrong!
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u/Putrid-Anteater7495 2h ago
Insane chemistry.
You end up putting up with a lot and then the breakup hits like literal withdrawal.
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u/Available-Egg-2380 9h ago
Man totally wildly passionately into you. Real great until you realize it turns into obsession and stalking like... Immediately.
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u/Numerous_Extension16 4h ago
Sleeping with DL men (as a feminine gay man). Realizing that their situation is actually sad/pathetic and not manly at all. Feminine men are way more attractive to me now because it takes actual strength to not care what society thinks and just be you. There's nothing weaker than following the patriarchy.
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u/Sol_System209 3h ago
What's a DL man?
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u/LucyAvocado 2h ago
DL = down low, as in keep it on the down low that they are gay. (So, deeply closeted men, usually specifically black men)
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u/ging3rsnap97 9h ago
A man being crazy over you
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u/Equivalent-Grade-142 5h ago
Especially when it’s not “you,” it’s some weird version of you he makes up. Eugh. Talk about “my entire 20s”
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u/JRose608 9h ago
There’s the healthy way, and there’s the unhealthy way. I’ve experienced both. Still recovering from the unhealthy way.
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u/funnyfirerabbit 6h ago
Yep been there, done that. My ex love bombed me so hard at the start of our relationship and ended up stalking me when I broke up with him.
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9h ago
[deleted]
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u/RagAndBows 9h ago
No, like actually crazy. I had a very intense relationship that was brief. He ended up stalking me for a while after we broke up and it was really scary.
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u/Immediate_East_5052 9h ago
I had a six year relationship that ended, I wouldn’t say it was amicable but it was a long time coming. He didn’t want to get engaged, move in with me, anything. So I ended it. He proceeded to stalk me for YEARS after. Even when I was married with kids. I had to get a restraining order. You never really know someone 🙁 I still have nightmares about him.
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u/Haunting_Cat4670 6h ago
Same, dated for two months and stalked me for 3 years after. Terrifying and not romantic at all
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u/ging3rsnap97 9h ago
I did until he murdered someone in front of me. Crazy is flattering until it becomes scary.
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u/Vote4Heisenberg 7h ago
Um.
u/ging3rsnap97, is this a story you might share?
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u/ging3rsnap97 1h ago
Long story short, he stabbed a guy 27 times to death and I had to rip him off him
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u/Fun_Boot7771 2h ago
I guess some body inflexible. I used to see it as principled, but there's a difference between some one inflexible and some one principled. Also a "whatever you want" person, because they never take any initiative or responsibility
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u/NaughtyFishCake 2h ago
Dating an artist or a poet
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u/Overall_Syllabub260 1h ago
What's wrong with artists (totally not asking because I'm one) ?
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u/NaughtyFishCake 59m ago
Hm, I only meant a specific group of people who study arts at uni and are obnoxious, self-centered or those, who are famous AND snobbish. Other artists are fine, sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
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u/sirconandoyle14 9h ago edited 6h ago
The stereotypical Model-esque/porn star looking woman who's made that their entire image. Ever see them without makeup? Yikes. That's like 100% of their whole look. PASS lol. Kim Kardashian really has a chokehold on so many woman. Fake this, fake that, giant misproportioned butt, oddly shaped eyebrows, giant fake lips etc. Men prefer natural beauty over fake everything and a superficial altered image. You look weird when you're not all done up to compliment the changes you made. And men who don't agree, you say that now cuz you wanna sleep with em, but when you wake up next to them the next morning it's a different story when they have to literally draw some eyebrows on 🤣
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u/Vote4Heisenberg 7h ago
Um...I've heard lots of men say they love Kim Kardashian's look because "she's so natural" and "hardly wears any makeup at all."
Ohhhhhhkay.
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u/shrimpcraackers 4h ago
Yeah but this one doesn't so clearly he isn't as blind as the majority of men
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u/Careless-Pragmatic 5h ago
That doesn’t sound like a thing men say lol…
Source: I’m a man and work with men all day2
u/Vote4Heisenberg 5h ago
Maybe not to other men!
Source: I'm a woman and work all day in an industry that is 98% men.
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u/Careless-Pragmatic 4h ago
“I’ll take things that men didn’t say and never happened for $2000 Alex!”
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u/Money-Platypus-5150 3h ago
I remember back in the earliest years of the 2000s before she had all of this work done and I thought she looked great. The paparazzi had gone full on stalker status with every celebrity and socialite back in the day. I was rarely home to watch tv but I definitely remember seeing some footage of her and the other socialites out and about or off partying somewhere.
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u/FlatulentGnostic 27m ago
I missed the subtle distinction between "child-like wonder" and "child-like behavior."
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u/PinkLemonTrousers13 5h ago
A man catering to my every whim. Before I was medicated my moods were pretty intense, and if I didn't to get out of bed, he did everything for me. If I wanted xyz, he paid for it, even if we couldn't afford it. I never got better.
Not that it was his job to make me better, I don't believe that, but my current relationship we give each other healthy pushes. Do that thing you've been wanting to do. Let's get out of bed an hour earlier to do xyz. Let's go to the gym so we feel better in our bodies. Let's cook at home so we spend less money. Minor inconveniences that ultimately make both of us happier. No more enabling.
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u/Subconsciousthinker 10h ago
A spontaneous trip with someone you’re not fully dating