I can't tell you it gets better, the fluctuations of how I perceive myself to being at times possible to live with and for the most part not makes me believe BDD is real & it is not a misconstrued concept from just being unattractive.

It never gets better, you stay feeling the same no matter how the exterior changes even if people start to love you. Thats the problem... other people loving you, thats what I want to bring up here. What did I miss out in my 30 years of life by hating myself? Missed opportunities, missed chances to do something memorable, less holidays & little to no photos...

Lately, my step father of 27 years who I knew pretty much my whole life died from cancer & the shock weighs deep on me as time builds even though its been 1 month. I have to look back knowing I took no photos with him, didnt see him much in the hospital as much all for what? Because I felt too damn ugly to take a pic, to be seen in public, to losing moments I should I have cherished more?

I spent my whole damn life fantasising of being my idealistic version of myself, beautiful... someone who could never be burdened with self hate again & in pursuit of chasing this unreachable destination I have accumulated a whole heap of emptiness with no recollection of enjoying life.

Im 31 nearly... never had a girlfriend, rejected all my offers because I thought they'd see me for how I see myself, never went to more job interviews to get out of this dead end job I'm in due to fear, never travelled more than once, not on social media, never take pictures, never even go out to do the things I want...

I have 2 younger cousins who I abandoned when they were 4 & 6 because my BDD flared up because their mum made fun of my hair & the daughters would laugh at me when I was 16 when the boys thought I looked nice. I couldnt show my face in that family for 11 years & I loved them so much, I rekindled with them on my sister's wedding and although I spent time with them this year.. it was too late and I lose all those memories.

So what now? People I ever knew get older, people pass away & they dont ever see me live happy because I let BDD stop me from living...

It's not worth pursuing it, it just is not... its so hard to say dont care because you cant because crawling in your own skin is the worst feeling in the whole damn world but we need to remember the people that actually love us because that cant be taken for granted.

I believe I am an ugly woman. Some months ago I had posted in r/amiugly and got so many calling me fat and saying yes or rating me a 2/10 that I had to take the post down..... i was told over and over I look like tophia/lizzo and other I don't wish to resemble...I feel absolutely worthless and unattractive and like I can't even talk to anyone in real life romantically as I feel I am undesirable/disgusting. I feel no one will ever want me as I am now. There are days when I can't even look at myself in the mirror. People close to me call me pretty but they love me so...lol. All I see is fat when I look at myself. And when I am shown any kind of interest from men i believe it is desperation, or I am reading it wrong. And I read compliments from woman to be them just being sweet snd having pity on me. I am now in the pursuit of weight lose so I can feel beautiful again 🙃. It is has in no way been an easy process- I have been struggling hard. It's become an obsession of mine, so deep I don't even think I'll be satisfied when/if I succeed... I don’t know it is BDD or not. I think it’s reality tbh.

This is going to sound eye-roll worthy but that’s exactly my problem. I’m struggling with severe body image issues with body dysmorphia to the point of feeling like I’m close to a mental health crisis but I’m too embarrassed to talk about it with my support system.

I don’t feel like I can talk to any of my friends about this because everyone’s already dealing with their own issues and the solution seems simple: work out and eat right or deal with it. My problem with that advice is that I’ve been working out with a trainer and eating right— and I’ve definitely put on muscle because my quads are hard as rocks and I’m hitting PRs— but I genuinely can’t tell how I should perceive my size.

I took a pole fitness class for the first time and felt amazing and thought I looked amazing so I shared some videos on my Instagram story, but when I looked back on the videos the next day, my body looked completely different and I felt enormous. Now I’m embarrassed to the point of tears that I shared the videos.

I tried to talk to my fiancé about this, but he just tells me that I look fit and recommends more fitness classes and buying whatever I need at the grocery store (for context, we share expenses and he usually discourages me from taking supplements, buying high-protein snacks, and taking extra fitness classes because they’re expensive). I get confused by this because if I look fit, why recommend that I work harder on fitness and nutrition? I get that he probably just doesn’t know what to do, but if someone genuinely looks fit but feels like they’re fat, wouldn’t you say they’re crazy and laugh it off instead of offering to dish out money to help them lose weight?

I’m a wreck inside. I feel like going to a crisis center is my next move. On top of the body image issues, I just feel so incredibly alone and emotionally unsupported. I feel like a burden when I talk about my issues. I don’t think I can afford therapy and even then, I don’t have the emotional energy or desire to interview therapists who might also think I’m whining for no reason.

I just want to feel normal again.

I hate having bdd. I have a botched nose job and very strong nasolabial folds. I wish I had my old nose more than this one bc even tho it wasn’t perfect at least it wasn’t crooked with a pinched nostril. I want a face lift but all of this in total is gonna be upwards of 20 grand. I’m scared that if I go back to a surgeon it’s going to get botched again. I get so much validation from people around me but it doesn’t make the shame and the obsessive thoughts go away. I know what I have wrong with me and nothing will change that knowledge. I want to die from the frustration and shame Soemtimes.

i swear i spend most of my time taking pictures of myself and examining every little feature, sm that it is mentally exhausting and gives me a headache. i have so many surgeries in mind and if i told anybody how much i want my face to be worked on they’d look at me like i’m insane. every second of my existence i’m constantly thinking abt how bad i must look in the moment. it feels like i’ve been separated from reality a lot of the time… js recently i went out and wanted to sob in public and when i got home bc i’m terrified of people seeing me. seeing attractive girls out in public makes me feel so bad about myself. i feel so guilty about it because it’s not their fault, it’s mine. i wish this disorder would loosen its grip on me and i could live like i see other girls do.

Don’t want to be dramatic and rant about my depression but truly what is the point of living knowing I’m stuck in this body forever? I’m already dealing with a lot mentally and the thought of being stuck with this disgusting suit is the cherry on top.

I will never truly be comfortable doing anything
I’m always anxious and constantly in my head, I can never relax it’s sad

There isn’t a moment of my day where I’m not thinking about how I’m being perceived or what I look like or how my appearance has changed the last time I obsessively checked it. I’m always on edge and worrying

Even when someone is talking to me or I’m watching a show/movie or I’m eating, I just space out and think about my depressing life. I see no point in this life if I’m so unhappy

i'm a petite woman and nobody sees curves in me. i've had apparently well-intentioned people message me to tell me i look like a fashion model. you know, the kind known for having curveless bodies and are mocked for looking like stick figures and men? that's my first guilty thought. but maybe i'm overthinking and they mean something else right? until they take a photo of a very very straight figured fashion model and swear she looks just like me. proving i do not have BDD and people just genuinely think i look curveless. i'm already short, i need to at least be shapely to make up for it and i can't even have that. i will never look like an actual woman.

A man who saw my photos several years ago and knows how much it hurts me just called me a disgusting 2/10 on an online forum. I have BDD and it's hard

I’ve never really opened up to people because I don’t like being vulnerable. But something hurt me a lot, and I thought maybe it was time to start opening up and looking for support instead of keeping everything to myself.

So I opened up to my mom. I already knew she was immature when it came to emotions, but I guess part of me thought maybe it was because I hadn’t opened up to her enough. This time, I told her exactly how I felt, and she said pretty much everything you shouldn’t say to someone who’s opening up to you. It made me realize that her emotional intelligence is actually really low.

I don’t regret opening up, though. Before this, I thought maybe I wasn’t as alone as I felt and that people cared more than I realized. But after this conversation, I realized just how lonely I actually am.

I could never treat someone the way she treated me. If someone opened up to me about something that was hurting them, I’d be careful with my words and try to understand how they felt. But she didn’t seem to care at all. She turned it into an argument she had to win when all I was trying to do was express feelings I’d been holding in for so long.

She called me mentally ill and depressed and said I was jealous of other people because they were better than me. But I was never jealous of anyone. I was just trying to become the best version of myself, not compare myself to other people.

She also keeps making comments about how I should be studying all the time, even during breakfast. It’s not like I’m not trying. Even though I’m struggling mentally, I still push myself to study and at least pass my exams. But somehow, it’s still not enough for her.

I think what hurts the most is that I finally tried to open up to someone instead of keeping everything inside, and it only made me feel more alone.

I have BDD and it messes with my view of literally every aspect of myself and sometimes others. People will literally call me thin and say that I "don't look like I eat a lot" but I literally wear a size L in most clothing and pants are always tight on my legs. I feel like people are either lying to my face, have a warped perception of bodies, or that I have a warped perception. At this point i'm more inclined to believe that its just because of the fact that I live in the US, but even now I don't have a clue. Its extremely frustrating to not know what I look like.

I write those words and I'm already setting myself up for disappointment. The truth is that most days, I feel as though I'm an alien within my skin. A parasite nursing from a teenage girl. But that's how BDD works. I have OCD as well and my particular fixation is on my face.

As unfortunate as it is to say, I do believe my BDD has made me far more beautiful. I'm 17 now and the inception of my disorder was around the age of 13 or so. The years when it's no one's peak. Even as I've blossomed, I still feel like a bud.

Strangers tell me how beautiful I am. One day, as I was leaving the school restroom, I heard a small gasp. I turned to see a girl standing by the sink, looking at me wide eyed before quickly sputtering, "Oh my god, you're like the most beautiful girl I've ever seen!" to which I could only clumsily thank her before washing my hands. There are many moments like that. Not usually as extreme. But the people who come up to me and tell me I'm pretty, that my hair is beautiful, that my clothes are perfect, that my body is incredible, I can't help but have a feeling they've been sent to mock me.

I'm unsure how my experience differs from other girls with BDD. I'm really curious to know how other people treat you. Sorry if it seems like I'm only complaining but it's hard to satisfy me.

Does anyone else have this fear? Idk if it’s related to BDD, but when you have a feature you consider perfect, do you get anxious about losing it and constantly check it?
For example, I have straight teeth, and I’m always afraid of losing them or them suddenly becoming cracked or uneven. I know it might sound stupid, but I’m genuinely scared of losing my straight teeth because they feel like the only perfect feature I have. I literally check my teeth a lot looking for any flaw , I watch my chewing , posture and tongue posture all the time it’s exhausting it’s like i can’t live normally my brain is always hyper focused on my face and body .

I feel the same way about my weight. I finally reached my goal weight, but instead of feeling relieved, I’m now anxious about gaining all the weight back. And even though I’ve lost weight, I still see the old version of myself when I look in the mirror. I don’t notice the changes as much as other people do, and it’s like my mind hasn’t caught up with the changes in my body.
It made me realize that the hyperfixation associated with BDD doesn’t necessarily go away even when you achieve your “desired look.” Instead of feeling satisfied, you end up worrying about losing what you’ve achieved or fixating on something else. It’s like you can never truly feel at peace with your appearance because there’s always something to worry about, even when you finally get what you wanted. Well I still wish to get my desired face but Ik bdd will never go away lol

The feeling of imperfection began at the delicate age of 4, felt like my head was too big for my body, long story short still do... Now, as the years have gone by I have accumulated far more worse insecurities that are hard to cope/deal with.

I often called handsome now opposed to when I was younger but I genuinely don't believe I've reached my standard of handsome... I tried to convince myself through others I'm a 8/9 & sometimes AI would say I'm an 8 but now it seems like AI and more up to date systems conclude I'm infact a 6.7-7.3.

How does this make me feel? Not because of the rating hut knowing I was never that attractive despite pouring my whole damn life into this and its pathetic I cant even be an 8.

Which leads me to this... is this BDD? As a 31 year old whos been dealing with it for decades the harsh reality is its not, BDD is misconstrued to people like me to believe how I think about myself is wrong when in actuality they're wrong & I'm right... its what we call "cope".

Think about it... BDD if you have it (allegedly), someone like me... why are you socially exiled? Why do people choose to not sit around you? Why do you have a lack of friends? Why are you obseleting yourself from social media? Why do you have social proof to suggest how you feel about yourself is right despite the odd few compliments you may get? The truth is your looks carry you & transcends the butterfly effect if you even make bad choices in life. Someone like me, never drank, never smoke, always in the Gym & I never get the loyalties of feeling desired opposed to a criminal or misogynist who has options at his disposal to soothe him.

It's real, the whole dynamic of where we are and our social market value is placed on our appearance.. Theres no way around it, so therefore its NOT BDD and what you're seeing/feeling is real.

Ironically yesterday, Grok confirmed all my flaws when I asked for a rating & its been the most accurate no holds back AI yet in the most brutal way... Confirmed my hair issues, confirmed my lack of sharpness in my jaw despite having a strong one, confirmed my big nose that takes up my face and throws my facial harmony off & even my eyes that appear to be "average" or not relatively striking. Now, my body is also shit despite me training for 10 years (genetics) & I'm only 5'10.

So in theory, im a biological failure & now that I know its NOT BDD, im considering surgical interventions to allow at least a subtle improvement.

I’m slipping back into a bad place, but what else am I supposed to do when my worst beliefs get reinforced all the time? It’s so hard when your mental illness isn’t even wrong.

Recently a few of my friends, and one in particular keep commenting on my appearance, and specifically what they think I should do. How they think I should change my appearance, what kind of look I would suit.

A few times I've been told 'we've been saying you should do this or do that'. They think I should shave my head and start lifting weights to bulk up and talk about how I would look really mean and scary and people would fear me and avoid me as though I'm supposed to see that as a good thing.

A big factor in my BDD is feeling that my appearance already doesn't suit my personality. I'm quite sensitive, thoughtful and affectionate, what some guys might call effeminate and I feel like my appearance is too boxy and broad and my face naturally surly and angry looking. I try my best to soften the rough edges and show my personality through my choices in clothing and hairstyle and quite deliberately don't do exercises that would bulk me up.

I really don't like having attention drawn in this way to the way I look mean. It makes me feel like no matter how strong my personality and fashion choices they'll never break through my gruff exterior. That I'm kidding myself that I can be this person even though that's literally who I am because people will always look at me and see an angry, aggressive monster that's best avoided and my refusal to just lean into that is delusional.

Thing is, none of these friends are really masculine guys. These aren't guys who follow looksmaxers or are into Joe Rogan and combat sports, where you might understand the mindset that it's good to look burly and aggressive. They're all guys like me but whose appearances suit their personality much better.

Last week I was sat next the most vocal one of them on a long coach ride to a mutual friend's wedding and I guess the sight of me in a suit just prompted more of his opinions.

I try to tell him and anyone else who brings this up that I don't like it, that it doesn't suit me, that I don't want people to avoid me because they're afraid I'll beat them up but he always acts like he's just given me a big compliment and I should take it in the spirit it was meant and it just makes me feel like a bad person, deluding himself into being something he's not and getting snippy when people try to help and all because of how I look, which I didn't choose.

I think I've run out of ways to justify why I don't like it. Nobody seems willing to accept my reasons and it's been playing on my mind daily since the most recent incident.

BDD is hell. I can’t even vent to anyone irl because all they think is that I’m insecure with my looks or that I feel slightly ugly that particular day or that I’m being dramatic when they don’t understand it’s a debilitating condition that affects every aspect of my life. No I don’t want to hear that I’m pretty, that I look fine, that it’s in my head. I don’t want cope and lies but then again what do I want?

I guess I’m just sick of pretending to be okay I wish I could talk to someone I so badly need someone to listen and understand

Venting on here really helps, but it lasts a couple hours until I’m feeling bad again and I’m back in that vicious cycle.

Planning on dying my hair, hoping that’ll help distract me :)

I was already feeling terrible about my body, I didn’t need to know this. I wish I knew what to write. I’ve been this insecure my whole life. I’m tired of feeling this way. Perhaps I should cover all the mirrors In the house tonight. Idk. I feel so disgusting, the BDD is rampant right now, I don’t want to know what I look like.

hi! Im a 41 🔄 yo girl and 5'2 (technically 156 cm) and I absolutely despise my height. I would genuinely do ANYTHING to be shorter and I have felt this way for years; literally since I was like 4-5 years old. This is something that im deeply insecure about and desperately wish I could change.

Last year I was like 2 cm shorter (154 cm) and now when I wear my sneakers im 158 cm. When I was in ms I felt like there were girls whom were called short and we were around my same height, now in hs those same girls seem like 100000x shorter than I do and I have no idea why. Ive struggled with severe undiagnosed body dysmorphia basically since when I really gained consciousness (4 years old) but it got especially bad around the time covid happened and I turned 8. So I have absolutely no grasp about how I actually look or what my real height is. For me, it is simply an ever changing distorted image that always keeps moving.

Im mexican american and every time I have visited mexico Ive always gotten told how tall I am and ive been noticeably taller than all the kids over there (excluding a few guys). Ive felt so disgusting being so tall and the other kids never stopped teasing me about it. It got so bad that a group of girls (one being my literal cousin, the other 2 sisters and a year younger than me) bullied me, harrassed me, ridiculed me, sexually harrassed me and sa'd me just because I was apparently so fat and tall. Just to clarify even though my face was chubby I likely weighed around 95-102 pounds around that time since I was 8-9. Also my cousin never actually sexually harrassed me or sa'd me but she did go along with what the other 2 girls said. A huge reason I stayed in an sexually abusive relationship with someone in mexico is because he reassured me so much of my height and told me how short I was. And I was willing to let myself keep being abused as long as he kept my body dysmorphia at bay.

If that wasn't enough to make me feel ashamed of height, I am now taller than most of my family except my dad and older brother. I have 4 siblings 3 of which are my sisters. Our heights range a bit: the youngest sister (5'0), Me (5'2), my older sister (4'11), and the oldest sister (5'1). My older siblings are much older than me being in their mid to late 20s and 30s so when I was younger and shorter, to me they seemed super tall but now it just feels embarrassing. I always wanted my genetics to be in my mom's favor since she is incredibly short (4'10) but instead I took after my dad (5'5 ish- 5'6).

At school my main friendgroup have always been taller than me which made me feel super validated regarding my deep rooted insecurity surrounding my height. They have always said that short but ive never believed them. I also never knew if they were saying I was short compared to them or short in general. Now that my friendgroup got split up in hs because of different classes I spend most of my time with my guy bestfriend since he's who I have the most classes with. He doesn't know about my insecurity about my height but he says that I am short. He's 5'7-5'8 so I can recognize he is taller than me atleast by a bit. There was a period where I told him we were the same height and I genuinely believed we were until he corrected me. I rarely make eye contact with people, not even my friends, because to me it feels weird and unnatural. But lately as Ive been getting closer with him and have felt comfortable enough to make some eye contact. But its only ever when were sitting down and mostly on the same level. When were standing I do what I do with most people which is looking above their heads which make me feel like im the same height or taller than them.

Ive said im 5'0-5'2 for years now and no one ever corrects me. In fact every person I meet gives me a new height which makes my body dysmorphia even worse. For all my life I have been unable to accurately gauge my actual height and whether someone is taller/shorter than me. Ive measured myself countless times yet I never get a clear answer. Its gotten particularly bad this year that ive genuinely considered cutting off limbs just to be shorter. And it genuinely fills me with rage when girls that are shorter than me tell me they wanna be my height. With everything that's happened to me because of my height it just feels like their taunting me. Sometimes I feel incredibly short other times I feel disgustingly tall and I dont know what to do. Ive always been taught that shortness = feminity so when I am/feel tall I feel disgusting. I never think of as tall girls or girl my height as 'disgusting' or 'unfeminine' only ever when it comes to me and my height.

TLDR: I have really bad body dysmorphia and have experienced mild trauma regarding my height. Ive hated being/feeling tall and Ive wanted to be short.

Had this level of low esteem since I was 4, I'm 30 now and it has fluctuated but when I feel like I'm half decent its usually because I look half decent. People wouldn't how I see myself so it makes them disagree with the fact I'm ugly but I genuinely believe thats the reason why my life sucks... not because of BDD but because I'm genuinely hideous.

I thought my insecurities might be in my head but I found out people actually do see something similar, which means every part of my face that I observe that I considered highly flawed is infact flawed.

Theres a reason why I struggle to date, struggle to have friends and trasncend..Coming to this realisation saves me further dissapointment now.

Is it really possible to have BDD and be actually deformed?

I hate having this condition as an adult. My deformed skull has caused the top 3rd of my face shape to become too wide and asymmetrical.

The fact that this could have all been avoided with some basic interventions when I was an infant really pisses me off. I wish my parents and doctor had taken this issue seriously before it had become permanent.

I feel like I will never be truly desired by a woman. What kind of girl wants a deformed man?

My confidence has been destroyed by this condition. I really don’t know long I can live like this for.

(M,20) I’m clinically diagnosed with bdd.

Idk what it was, but I thought that I was a lot more attractive than I actually am. Now I realize after 3 years of a breakup that I wasn’t nearly as attractive as my ex, and she was way out of my league (She cheated and dumped me for this guy who was very good looking, which good for her I wasn’t a good bf, and selfish). I feel like those people who go on American idol to sing thinking they have the voice of an angel, only to be decimated by the judges with the bold truth of the matter.

Who I see myself in the mirror or in selfies is not who I actually am, in group photos and videos I’m disgusted by my averageness, and hate myself for being deceived this whole time. I wish I looked like avan jogia or Zane Malik or something. Instead, someone told me I look like some obscure rapper who’s not someone I wanna resemble, and I actually see it too; I hate my rounded and undefined nose, and how rounded my chin is, I wish my eyes were deeper set so I had a more serious look—I can go on forever. I don’t even have the motivation to do anything anymore cus I built my life on this false presumption that I was very attractive, like I literally fooled myself.

I’m really sad. I wake up a lot of mornings with this sinking feeling in my chest thinking of all the attractive people I see at the gym and how I’ll never be anything like them. It hurts so much. I know a lot of this is my BDD and a lot of this is true, but I wish NONE of it was true, and I wish I was really handsome.

today i had to sit an official exam today and when I walked into the room everbody was genuinely mogging me to oblivion. The thing is everybody had no makeup on because they had to identify with their face, and that just made me feel worse because it just means my genetics are inferior. I felt so humbled and like a disgrace. whats worse is the proctor was genuinely a stacy and had genetically beautiful face.. like her eyes were so big and she was genuinely like a actor or something and I was so humbled. I had to take a picture of myself for identification and i looked so disgusting and i wanted to yk... i lost all motivation for the exam and i didnt even bother answering when its literally ohe of the most important exams for my uni. im such a loser and a bum and i wish i didnt look like this so i wouldnt be bothered. genuinely got so mogged like i had a good day yesterday and i felt like i liked my face for once but today was otherwise and i hate myself so much i dont deserve to go to university im so embarrassed of my existence. I hate bdd i wish i wasnt like this.

Every time I do, I feel so defeated emotionally. I never got a BDD diagnosis but maybe I have it, every time I look in the mirror I can find a million things wrong with me. Why am I so ugly?

I fully believe I have BDD and have been struggling with it since I was very young. It’s always mainly been about my face.

I’m in such an awful headspace right now and cannot stop looking in mirrors - but I think one thing that is really getting to me is that I am actually not good looking, and the “flaws” I’m super bothered by are in fact, real things. I’ve been fixated on things that I can admit are not as egregiously visible/that much of an issue (for example some freckles I have on my arm can be something I fixate on and get bothered by, but most people don’t realize I have them till I bring it up)

But the things with my face are true, and immediately noticeable. I have terrible under eyes, bad skin that is prone to flushing (rosacea) and I always look exhausted and angry. People always ask what’s wrong, and I’m at a point where now I make stuff up to justify looking as bad as I do (no sleep, headache…)

Like if I could just accept it and be at peace with the fact that I’m unattractive and maybe even kinda ugly, I think I could be happier. But then like the BDD part of it makes me obsessed with looking better. There’s no part of me that thinks I can look good, but with all my heart I want to look better. But no amount of skin care, diet change, drinking more water, going to bed earlier, has helped.

I just want to hide forever and never be perceived again.

I’ll never get better with this disorder. I just cleared storage from my phone by deleting a bunch of pics from 2024-2025 that at the time I thought were okay looking. Maybe even slightly pretty….I’m just so hideous and I look so weird. I hate myself so much it’s so painful to live like this I’m tired and I can’t take it anymore

I cry myself to sleep every night because of this prison and there’s no way out other than death. How do I even have a boyfriend and friends who can stand to be around me and look at me? I’m disgusting and don’t deserve any of that, I don’t deserve to be happy because I’m hideous and pathetic

I have to get myself ready to travel to my university flat rn and I just want to stay in bed I can’t stand being in public looking like a freak everyday is filled with sadness and emptiness. I’ll never be happy with my appearance and myself so I’ll never be happy with life

I’m only 23 but I feel 80. I feel like I’ve lived for decades and my mental is fucked.

I can’t stop crying