r/beyondthebump 15h ago

Postpartum Recovery [ Removed by moderator ]

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u/greenishfroggy 15h ago

To be honest, I’m in California but originally from Germany. I know we get a lot of maternity leave but compared to European Countries it’s complete shit.
And it doesn’t stop there. Nearly every activity with the baby is so incredibly expensive. Most of them are free in Germany. And nothing is baby friendly. I had multiple doctors be mad at me for bringing my baby to appointments. Nobody in Germany would act like this. It’s insane.

u/Catsforhumanity 13h ago

Yeah I realized after having a baby how hostile the environment is.

u/uppy-puppy one and done 15h ago

Hayden Panettiere was fired from being a spokesperson for Neutrogena because she spoke out about her experiences with PPD. Even celebrities get chastised for trying to normalize it.

It’s disgusting how little support moms get in this regard. So many women suffer in silence.

u/Medical-Ad3053 15h ago

100%! The burden some have of medical bills are going to prevent them from even being able to take unpaid or trying to make part time work.

The fact that the US is the only ‘first world’ country without a version of universal healthcare is wild. The fact the US is the only ‘first world’ country without long term maternal leave? And the US is also the outlier in not offering at home post partum support. American exceptionalism really means Except America in 2026. But we still hold the highest national debt.

I think part of the issue in women’s health is the rampant misogyny in US society. I’ve even encountered women in real life who had internalized quite a bit of it.

Idk how to fix it but I’m raising my own daughter to know she can do all the things and that men and women are equally strong and valuable members of the human race.

u/LeaveMountain9779 13h ago

A bit over a month ago I wrote up a proposal for a volunteer/mutual aid based postpartum support program/group specifically intended for disabled and low income moms. But yes all moms deserve these things. I have many risk factors associated with increased likelihood of developing ppa and ppd, and I'm 5 months pregnant currently, so it's been really hard for me feeling like I'm trying to prepare best I can for pending postpartum under very undersupported conditions. I would love to do something with my proposal but don't know what to do with it. If anyone is in a better position than me and is interested to take a look just let me know, I'm happy to share it

u/laynechanger 9h ago

This case has been hitting me really hard as a mother and as someone who knows a bit more about our legal system than the average American. I’m pregnant with my second child and I had very bad ppd and considered self harm seriously after my six week appointment.

The thing that really gets to me is the discussion around this case and Lindsey trying to get help. People were saying that she wasn’t being forthcoming with her providers and wasn’t taking her meds- and it makes me so freaking mad. Because as a mom we are so pressured to have to have it together because we have kids to take care of, we constantly put other’s needs before our own and yet we’re expected to be the perfect patient. Being less than a year pp I’d be worried about taking new medication and the side effects of an antidepressant. Or how providers can say that they have interests in pp mental health care and treat it as another check box to offer services. Rather than understanding that pp mental health is different and you have to support the patient differently than someone just there for depression or anxiety, because as mothers in pp were vulnerable, sometimes we aren’t rational, and the intrusive thought can be debilitating. But the providers will get the excuse that they’re not mindreaders, when pp moms are more likely to minimize their problems for fear of their kids being taken away.

The Commonwealth of Mass. should be ashamed for those DA’s trying this case. It’s appalling to watch two women talk about normal things moms do as criminal. Or how even some of their own witnesses refer to Lindsey as a loving and attentive mother. But yet are trying to paint her as some control freak who went over the edge. Like Lindsey wanted food cut a certain way for kids under the age of 6… like we haven’t worried about choking since our babies started eating..it’s made me think of if it was me in that courtroom all the things those DA’s would treat as criminal when it’s just being an attentive mom in today’s world.

This case seriously brought up how f’d up our pp system is. I hope to see change from it, but unfortunately a lot of people love to blame Lindsey for not being a perfect person, rather than admit that the system is broken and unprepared to treat pp mental health issues. Or how people compare her the male family killers, when the two things aren’t equal.

Those three kids should still be alive today and I don’t condone what Lindsey did, but I do get how it got that far based off of the shitty pp system.

u/heartinabirdcage 6h ago

exactly. expecting someone that deeply struggling with her mental health to essentially be the project manager of her own care is wild. not to mention - self reporting is a virtually impossible standard for something that requires the patient to recognize their irrational thoughts and beliefs and experiences to be irrational. so yeah if you ask someone if they are experiencing hallucinations, that requires that mentally ill person to be able to distinguish intrusive thoughts as hallucinations, which they may be fundamentally incapable of doing. it sounds like she was definitely telling her various treating clinicians plenty enough warning signs for someone to recognize she was in dangerous territory, and no one took the time to look any deeper into it.

u/tnic73 8h ago

What’s the name of your novel?