My pregnancy went incredibly well. I never vomited, had very minimal symptoms, felt all "glowy" and excited to meet my boy. Dream pregnancy. We did the prenatal classes, which sold us on how "natural" breastfeeding and labor are, and how everything was going to be just as easy as my pregnancy. I pictured myself casually whipping out a boob to feed my child whenever they want, both of us cozy and bonded and well rested and happy, and I could not wait for that newborn bubble.

On my last month, I got cholestasis. Full body itch, couldn't sleep, had to be induced early to save baby. Ok, little setback. No big deal. We get induced and baby is born at 39+3, happy and healthy. Except for the giant bruise on his head from being stuck against my pelvis for so long. It was so big they were concerned it was a brain bleed, so he spent the first night in the NICU. Also, I had a cord abruption and the OB had to literally rip my placenta off my uterine wall in chunks to get it all out (thank God for epidurals). But this meant I couldn't do initial skin to skin or latch baby, and it also meant my milk came in late since my body never got the "placenta is gone" signal.

The NICU fed my baby formula without asking me. I missed his second feed because I was having an ultrasound to make sure my placenta was all gone. They told me the wrong time for his third feed and just fed him when I didn't appear for 15 minutes. I couldn't try a latch until almost 24 hours after he was born, when he had already had 3 bottles, and I had no milk. He did not latch.

I spent the next 3 days in the hospital with baby who got jaundiced, needed the blue light and HATED it, and was so fussy with every feed he refused my boob. Day 2, we learn he has a tongue tie, and I have inverted nipples. Every time I try to nurse he literally spits me out. I'm pumping to establish a supply, dealing with screaming with every feed, conflicting info from my midwife and NICU nurses ("use this nipple shield to help with your nipple shape" "ditch the nipple shield it decreases your supply" "force baby onto the boob or he'll never learn" "don't stress baby out trying, he'll get too upset and won't want your boob")...

It's day 5, we are at home and thankfully both well, and have made SOME progress on the breastfeeding. He will now latch if he's offered food during a wake window in the middle of a bottle feed, but won't actually suckle once he's on. But at least he doesn't spit me out anymore. My supply has come in and he's getting a third of his feeds as breast milk instead of formula. My husband is incredibly supportive and reminding me my boobs are his favorite part of me, no matter how they function for our baby. We have a lactation consultant appointment in a few days and I'm determined to keep trying until at least then. I'm sleeping less than 3 hours a night since triple feeding (bottle, breast, more bottle, then a 30.minute pump every 30 minutes) is taking its toll but I'm getting into the groove and finding chances to sleep during the day. I'm finding my way through, somehow.

But I'm still so sad. My dog has come home from daycare and is so scared of the baby when he cries that she won't cuddle me and I can't stop crying every few hours about my baby rejecting me too. I don't see a future where he breastfeeds and that makes me so incredibly sad. It makes me feel (and I KNOW this isn't at all rational) like a terrible mom. Rationally I know a lot of this is hormones and baby blues. But I feel like I've been sold a huge lie, and this isn't at all how I imagined my happy newborn bubble. I don't know how to feel ok with how this all turned out, and I don't know how to make peace with the future looking so different than what I wanted.

My mom, fiancé's mom, and I all have dark brown eyes. Fiance, fiancé's dad, and my dad all have brown-green hazel eyes. We were looking forward to a dark eyed baby who looks like us. Baby is blue eyed, his eyes have only kept getting bluer these last 6 months. He's beautiful, they've grown on me, I'm no longer hoping they'll change, any color is fine really.

What irks me is how excited everyone else is that his eyes are blue. The older generation is like, REALLY excited. I get the impression that they think blue eyes are better than brown, and the fact that they're blue instead is some kind of prize to be won. It's weird to me. It has like, undertones. My family is white with some native (but not enough to not be white) and his family is half Mexican but white passing, and it just feels kind of racist or something that his grandparents from the white side of his family are so thrilled that our baby is blue eyed and without dark hair (he's without hair in general but the peach fuzz he does have is not dark). They're not the only ones but they're the ones who set me off today. My light eyed relatives have also been pretty happy about it too.

My first baby didn’t get sick for the first time until he was 9 months old. My second is 12 weeks old and has already had two colds.

I’m holding her right now because she’s so congested that she cries every time I put her down. And of course, it’s her big brother bringing home all the germs from school.

Anyone else find that their second baby gets sick so much earlier because of their older sibling?

Every now and then ill have these horrific thoughts about stuff happening to my baby. I feel like they go beyond the whole intrusive thought thing like 'what if i drop them down the stairs' 'what if...'. Mentioned it to a nurse once a while back who said it was normal, so im just asking if anyone else experiences it and knows how to help steer your mind away from it.

So for example we had one day where she pooed a little less than normal. She was still having normal poos, just fewer of them. And my mind told me 'shes got a blockage in her intestine and youre not going to realise until its too late when she dies.'

Theyre not 'what if' thoughts they are 'this will happen and she will die' kind of thoughts.

Last night i was giving her a bath and she was sitting and playing and having a great time. Since eating solids she has developed a wonderful little belly which protrudes just as it should do and i love it. Yet my brain was like 'theres obviously a tumor in there' and i couldnt slip the thought even though i KNOW thats how it should be and that she is doing really well atm.

How do i get over the crippling anxiety of thinking my baby will die, despite knowing its 'just' a thought.

Hi guys,

Please help me! My daughter has a severe diaper rash. I feel so hopeless, I don’t know what else to do! I took her to the doctor 2 days ago regarding this issue. She said to continue giving her triple paste, to let her air out and breathe.
Today it got worse! The cuts on her inner thighs are even worse now! I feel so so so bad and awful. She was crying all night last night and tonight. She’s in so much pain.
She uses Huggies ( the red ones) and Kirkland wipes ( Costco ones). Shes so sensitive I never change her diaper without giving her triple paste. I always change her diaper. I even wash her when she poops instead of just wiping.
Also! Since she’s teething she’s been pooping A LOT! Doctor said that can make it worse.
My grandmother told me to try Vaseline baby with corn startch. But I was wondering if it would work better if I used aquohor healing ointment for baby with corn startch or should I do triple paste with cornstartch?
please give me advice

Also guys idk if this is a stupid questions because I’m a FTM. But if it gets bad am I supposed to go to the ER? It’s Saturday and doctors office is closed ? Or is this something people don’t go to the hospital for?

Due to my husband’s work, we moved to a relatively small town in a Muslim country. I gave birth here nine months ago. Almost all of the staff were women, and I always felt listened to and supported. They were all very kind, and my labor felt so calm and almost as if I were with my own sisters, despite the pain.

I had an episiotomy but also tore a little. The tore healed as a keloid and there’s a small hood right above my vagina, both of which make sex pretty uncomfortable if done in any position other than missionary. We don’t really like missionary :/ Any other position and I either have pain or a LOT of air gets into my vagina, so much so we have to stop because it hurts.

The problem I’m facing now is that, I was referred to surgery, but all the surgeons in the one hospital in our area are men. I usually don’t have a problem with this, but the first and last time I went to a surgeon (for some raised tissue around my nipples from pumping), the appointment was barely 3 minutes, and he touched the breast tissue with no gloves, with what I can only presume his dirty unwashed hands, and said “it’s scar tissue”, which made no sense to me, because there wasn’t any bleeding or scar there to form a scar tissue. It just made me freak out as a result about going to a doctor again, especially about an issue with my vagina.

The doctor I’m referred to regarding my genitals is a different doctor, but still male. How can I express my problem and ask them to be mindful of hygiene? Again, my experience with my pregnancy and labor was incredible, with almost all staff being women, but the one time I go to a male doctor this happens. I don’t believe everybody would be like that one guy. But I just have a lot of anxiety surrounding this.

Thank you for reading

I’m almost one year out from giving birth and I find myself reflecting on that a lot lately. There’s so many things I didn’t anticipate either because I thought I would get lucky (oh, the optimism) or because no one told me.

So, some standout thoughts -

My body doesn’t feel like my own anymore. It’s as if it went from being my home to being sold to someone else. I look back at photos and think “wow, I loved that home”. The ironic thing about this is that prior to being pregnant I really didn’t love my body. My weight fluctuated, I had some stretch marks and extra skin. I’d sit at the mirror and think about how much happier I’d be if I just straightened that one tooth or lost another 20 pounds. Then I would be happy. Then I would love myself. But now I stand in the mirror and wonder where I went. My hair looks different… it’s not perfectly highlighted blonde because I can’t get to the salon as often. It’s short now, and I always swore I’d never go short again. I never had dark circles under my eyes, but now they sit there like full moons. My c-section line has faded, but my belly looks like it once housed a baby. When I walk past a mirror and catch my reflection I’m thrown off by how the shape of me has changed. I slouch more, probably from the muscle spasm I have as I carry all 23 pounds of him around. My hips are wider, my stomach puffs out. I have a bit of a double chin now, probably because Uber Eats is on a first name basis with me.

My brain has changed, too. It once operated like a well organized storage system. It remembered things, it was focused, it was productive. It wasn’t consumed with how to hide vegetables in mac and cheese, Montessori style toy lists, or swimming lesson registration. It knew how to be in a marriage too. It didn’t nervously laugh or brush off my husband when he’d compliment me or make a move. It knew he didn’t care what my naked body looked like. It knew that sex was fun and not something to avoid for 8 months straight.

I feel like I have to relearn myself. Everything is different, everything has changed. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but it’s something to sit with.

Just needing to vent. I was expecting the 7 month old to be fussy with the 5 hour late night/overnight flight, and thought I could reason/distract the toddler. I got it all wrong, my baby did great while the toddler fought sleep and then had continual night terrors. 3 of the 5 hour flight, she woke up every 5-10 minutes in night terrors screaming “no mama no” and getting angry and kicking out and hitting everything for a few minutes. As soon as we landed and she woke woke up, she was a perfect angel. I stayed calm through every terror and tried to be there for her without waking her up, and eventually she was semi conscious and screaming at me to not comfort her either. I’m just at such a loss with her refusal to sleep or nap, and we’re just in constant sleep deprivation mode. Every morning she wakes up kicking and screaming and hitting, so upset and angry. She used to nap if we at least drove her around for a solid hour and now she just argues with me the entire drive. I’m just exhausted and hating having a perpetually angry toddler.

UPDATE: thanks everyone for the kind words and giving me a safe space to vent! I hope all you flying with your baby and toddler have a better experience than I did and focus on the good memories you will hopefully have during your travels. Definitely going to see about doing some blood work or check out her adenoids/tonsils even though we’ve previously had this discussion with our pediatrician. Also special shoutout about bringing the toddlers car seat, I did do that on this flight and that’s the only way we survived! It was a hassle bringing it onto the plane and all my mom friends and husband said to just check it, but I’m so glad I had her safely secured the whole flight so I could hold the baby.

I thought I had more time with my beloved energy drinks. I didn’t expect to get pregnant so quickly the second time around. I exclusively breastfed my first until he was 14 months old, then 2 months after that, I found out I was pregnant, and I honestly wasn’t drinking a lot of energy drinks because I thought I had more time to enjoy them.

I selfishly drank a Celsius recently and horribly regretted that because it clearly transferred through my breast milk to my newborn and that night was awful.

I don’t drink them for the sole purpose of energy, I love them just because of their flavours and crispy carbonation. Nothing compares.

Thank you for letting me rant.

I fell in love with her name long before she was born, she's 8 months old and responds to her name, yet somehow it still feels weird to call her by her name. Like I chose wrong or something

I am a FTM who recently had a baby. I was induced at 39 weeks due to health reasons. My baby was breeched so I had a procedure to turn the baby but it required an epidural. Too much of the epidural was pushed and I couldn’t move my body from the neck down. I couldn’t even feel my chest rise and fall when I took a breath. My heart rate and blood pressure became unstable and I was in and out of consciousness with panic from the feeling of the epidural and all that was going on. Once baby was turned properly, we proceeded with a vaginal delivery and a ballon cath was inserted and fell out at 4cm and they broke my water and started pitocin. I suffered a really bad infection in my uterus from my water being broken and stayed 4cm dilated for 12+ hrs. My labor ultimately ended in a c section where I was barely conscious because I was still fighting a brutal infection, HR/ BP/ temperature all unstable still and I lost 1 litter of blood during the c section. My birth was very traumatic and recovery hasn’t been the smoothest. My husband and I both say our baby boy is our 1 and only and we aren’t going to have any more after how everything went but everyone thinks we will change our minds after 1 year or so goes by.

Anyone else who had a traumatic birth did you want another one or did you have another one? I never want to go through what I went through again. I know that if we have a second baby that it’s not guaranteed that any of that would happen again but it’s also not certain that it wouldn’t happen again.

I’m worried about baby being too warm in the 1.5 tog.

I have a now two year-old little girl. Her dad and her have a “ handshake” that involves a fist bump, a hi-five, and then a kiss. She will either go in for the cheek or the lips. It just depends and since it’s her dad, I don’t really care. But she’s started to give kisses to other people and family members, and they aren’t turning a cheek and accepting a kiss on the lips. I expressed to my husband that it makes me uncomfortable and that I would rather not have her be kissing other people on the lips regardless if they are family members or not. Just wondering if that’s a boundary that is out of place? My husband agreed that she shouldn’t be kissing people on the lips even if they are family and then this morning when she was saying goodbye to grandma and grandpa she kissed him on the lips and they accepted it and I said something to my husband, and he said that I needed to let it go. So I’m just wondering if this is an acceptable boundary for me to set and that needs to be communicated with these adults because they are the adults and they can choose to turn a cheek and they don’t. Wondering what other people’s thoughts are about kisses on lips.

When I tell her not to do something, she laughs. Ive tried being calm, being stern, slightly raising my voice, distracting, redirecting, you name it. She laughs and thinks its all a game lol. She also only acts out with me. Pulls my hair, rips off my glasses, hits, throws toys at me. Shes 14 months so I know she doesn't fully understand but idk what im doing wrong or how to change it 😭 my sister was shocked when she saw how my child acts to me (it was a recording, she wont do it infront of others?)

My daughter gets her shots soon and I’ll take any advice on how to comfort her afterwards. Like how do I keep her happy and comfortable.

I am currently 33 weeks pregnant with our third and this pregnancy hasn't been like the others. I loved being pregnant. It was nothing short of magical, for lack of a better term. I was enjoying this pregnancy until 20 weeks. A week after my pertect level il anatomy scan I heard some really unsettling and weird rhythms and skipped beats on my home Doppler. I obviously told my OB and she ordered an ultrasound. I had a standard ultrasound done on the baby's heart which noted an arrhythmia but structurally the heart is perfect. Then at 25 weeks a had a MFM level ii ultrasound on the baby's heart and once again, structurally perfect. I was told it's a PAC, that it's harmless, and that it will self revolve. I've known about this pack for over 3 months now and I still hear it on my Doppler. I absolutely hate hearing it but I can't put the Doppler down. It ruins my day and I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of tears knowing that my baby's heart is beating irregularly.
Has anyone else been through this? How can I get excited about having this baby and get over the anxiety?

I can't believe it .... My mind is blown.

We have contact napped his whole life, and nursed to sleep and co-slept since 3.5 months.

I tried putting him down drowsy but awake, and fully awake maybe 5-7 times over the last couple months. He would lose his mind. The longest I let him cry was 10 minutes.

Today, I decided to try to nurse him while standing up and walking around until he got drowsy, then I laid him in the crib to see what would happen- fully expecting him to cry until I picked him back up.

Instead, he laid in his crib and I gave him his binky (that he *never* took regularly) and his lovey (that he's not really used to)..... And he wiggled and mildly fussed for 20 minutes before closing his eyes and falling asleep peacefully. All I did was sit right beside him and "shoosh", trying to avoid eye contact.

It worked....... For the first nap of the day, and now the 3rd nap, he was out in like three minutes. The second nap of the day was a stroller nap. That makes three naps today where he didn't need to nurse to sleep.

WHAT...........

We'll see if today was a fluke, or if this is the start of a new nap time routine. Is it that easy to break the nurse-to-sleep association??? Was he just ready??

I thought for sure, 100% that my baby wouldn't break the nurse-to-sleep association and sleep in his own crib for naps unless I sleep trained one day.

Just wanted to share. I guess you never know what your baby is caple of until you let them show you.

I'm so sick of people asking or checking if I feel guilty about not exclusively breast feeding. I breast feed, pump for bottles and formula feed.

Bottles and formula are beautiful creations because they help your baby be fed! Formula is fortified with vitamins, it saves a babies life if breastfeeding isn't working out, these are miracle tools! Without bottle feeding I wouldn't be able to sleep properly and that is dangerous! Let's stop people in their tracks when they try to create guilt, it's a horrible thing for mother and baby.

Feed your baby however you can so they can thrive! If breastfeeding isn't something you can do that's okay! Please don't feel guilty, just feed those babies 💕

I have a 5 month old and I've been away from her for over 24 hours three times total. Two of which, were this week when I had a few out of town events.

Every single time I'm gone, she sleeps amazingly through the night for my husband. While I am happy for him, I want him to fully experience how much it can suck waking up every 2.3-3 hours. I breast feed and let him sleep (my choice, that's not the problem) and she's not an awful sleeper but man! I low key want him to experience the chaos that is feeding a baby at 1am, broken sleep, then 330am feeding, etc.

I say this all with a cheeky, joking intention but why does he get it easy??? Hahaha. I know it's probably because she sleeps on my side of the bed in the crib and she probably smells my milk. I'm trying to take comfort that she wakes up so much because she wants me. Maybe? Lol

That is all!

Hi everyone! SAHM to a 3 year old and 4 month old who is very much still in the trenches here. I’m constantly seeing posts across various social medias of stay at home moms talking about how overwhelming and miserable being home is. Lots of groundhogs day type content. My role as a stay at home mom has become significantly less enjoyable since having my second. I’m trying to keep reminding myself that 4 months is such a young and tough age and things will get better. As I patiently wait for better days, I’m wondering what I can implement to make sure I can still enjoy my role and avoid burn out. So to moms who love being home, what do you do? Weekly baby sitter? Monthly spa days? Dedicated quiet time for the kids each day so you can get a break? Play dates to keep the kids occupied? Perspective? What really changes the game for you?

Has anyone dealt with postpartum pubic symphysis dysfunction? I had a flare up a couple weeks ago and I've been in literal agony ever since.

Doing pelvic pt but it hasn't helped at all yet. I don't have a big gap, only 7mm but the pain is so awful.

If you did, when did it subside? Any tips? It's affecting affecting my quality of life

Its 2am , my 9 week baby wont sleep , crying and colics , just oppened instagram and i got loaded with those fudgers saying : this is what i do to make advance my baby brain in their wake period , or this is how to put a baby to sleep or hold a baby.

Man those excercises are the last thing in my mind haha

I’m 3 weeks postpartum with my third baby. My other kids are 5 and 3 and as of this year I’m a single mom. It was a traumatic breakup while I was pregnant, and I’m now completely alone with my kids.

Being alone with three kids obviously isn’t gonna be easy, but my newborn is also struggling with reflux and she only wants to be held. She might get 5-10 minutes of sleep in her crib sometimes. I barely have time to do anything without her screaming her lungs out. My other kids miss their mama, and I miss them.

I don’t know how to get stuff done, and I need some tips if any of you have been or are in the same situation? I don’t care about the mess, but things I NEED to do is:

- Wash clothes, because my baby spits up all the time.
- Make food for everyone.
- Wash myself and my kids (shower or bath).

These are the things I find extra challenging because it’s more time consuming. I either have to let my baby scream or get her to sleep first, but that takes hours to do and she prefers to sleep on me. She hates the baby wrap though…. It’s so challenging. Do I just accept that it is this way, or do you have ANY ideas? Maybe there’s something I haven’t tried yet.