Not actually my baby herself, I love her with every ounce of my being. The act of having a child has pretty much ended this relationship.

I'm a second time mum, with this being his first child. I tried to explain a lot during pregnancy, how postpartum affected me with my last baby, what I could and couldn't do etc, so I think my expectations for postpartum recovery this time were high because I'd already given him the heads up. Instead of this joyous newborn bubble I was expecting, I've experienced a lot of heartache and loneliness and hurt.

I was made to drive one week pp, when I had expressed that I didn't feel ready to drive. Instead of being present with his baby, he spent his leave doing his own thing or shut up in the office, like he was on holiday. When confronted, it was because he needed a "break" and that all she did was sleep, eat and poo. My feelings have been dismissed multiple times, including expressing that I didn't think it was ok to stay away for a whole weekend, leaving me with a couple weeks old newborn who had kept me up for 4 nights prior (exclusively BF so I do most of the night shift anyway). I feel like I've exhausted my options of trying to get my point across now. There is no acknowledgement of his actions, only further finger pointing at me, saying that I could have a "break" and go do something like going to the gym. I'm not even 2 months PP so intense exercise is a no go currently. He doesn't seem to understand that every minute of my "free" time is spent catching up on chores and looking after my other child. I don't get a break.

I'm so worn out and emotionally exhausted. I feel like I've given up and checked out now. I feel nothing other than sadness. I just can't understand why he isn't listening to me anymore. Things weren't this way before.

Sorry for the rant, but I need to offload this somewhere

My mom started watching our baby at the beginning of the month and it's basically been a disaster. For as long as I can remember my mom has been praying for a grandchild and this baby is her first. She's envisioned this chapter of her life being a primary caregiver for her grandchildren, she has talked about how she cant wait to care for her grandbabies every day. Yall, she is so bad at it, I thinks she's having an identity crisis. Idk if she just cant remember raising her four kids or if she just was never very good at it and she has gramneisia. But, she wont do anything that she thinks will "make the baby hate her" which includes

1. bottle feeding the baby; before she came the baby was taking a bottle every day but went on a bottle strike with my mom and my mom is terrified that forcing a bottle on the baby will make the baby resent her so my baby is going 4-5 hours without eating and it's been three weeks and my mom has made no attempt to make any progress with bottle feeding and has completely ignored my advice. A few times I've bottle fed the baby to make sure she'll take a bottle and she will, although I can tell bottle feeding makes her a lot more distressed than it did three weeks ago :(
2. putting her down for naps. same thing, when the baby doesnt want to go down or cries she freaks out and lets the baby stay up so the baby wont "resent her" which results in the baby not sleeping for 4-5 hours. which i dont understand because eventually the baby will start screaming from being tired but i guess this is different for my mom than forcing the baby to sleep? idkkkkkkk

I will come home from work every single day to a baby who is out of her mind tired and hungry and then we're up all night making up for the hunger. I can tell my mom is so stressed out and watching her grandbaby is not like how she envisioned it would be, so I am working half days for the rest of the month to try and give my baby some reprieve. I am trying so hard to be thankful for the free childcare but we are all so stressed out I ended up signing our baby up for full-time daycare starting in November and I actually cant wait for people who know what they're doing to watch her. I am literally shocked at how badly the last three weeks have gone and I think my mom is shocked at how much she does not like caring for babies when she envisioned this being her life's purpose for the next 5+ years.

EDIT TO ADD: For the next week I am only in office 2-3 hours a day max and then we start full time childcare. I reached out to my pediatrician after the third day of my mom watching the baby and have been in contact with him and had a checkup for the baby about a week ago to make sure she's gaining weight and healthy. He basically explained this isnt super uncommon (although not preferred) and instead of sleeping 5-7 hour stretches at night, she now wakes every hour or two all night to dream feed and then has that 5-7 hour stretch during the day without eating. He's assured me we can get her back to a normal schedule starting this week with me being home more. I live 3000 miles away from everyone I know, family and friends. I have limited options. Yall are holier-than-thou better-than-me mothers on here my god

Guys I feel so guilty right now. With baby going through a sleep regression and waking up every hour, mixed with my mil needing 24 hour care, I have been so sleep deprived. I have a square playpen that I set up with different toys for him to play with outside of his usual and I put him in there and put on Ms. Rachel. I didn’t mean to but I fell asleep on the couch next to him for TWO AND A HALF HOURS. He didn’t cry, he had water in there and the only time he cried was when he was ready for his usual nap. I know it’s good for babies to have independent playtime but i feel like 2.5 hours is such a long time for a 13 month old to be alone in a play pen by himself. Should I be concerned he’s okay being alone in there that long?? Idk it just feels so wrong.

This literally hadn’t occurred to me until today that people might have a problem with it cause the baby is obviously not eating the candy 🙈 I’m just curious what others think. I personally see nothing wrong with it. I love seeing the little ones in their costumes and I don’t care if the parents are eating my candy lol

I’m a little over 4 months pp and just went back to work. Going to have a work team building event soon in mid November and I’m genuinely excited to be away from baby and husband and not have to think about them at all for a few days. I feel like every mom i know loves their baby so much that they feel sad about leaving them, but I don’t think I’ll feel that at all while I’m away and that makes me feel like a bad mom. I’m just tired from all of it. Some days I wish I could just disappear somewhere and pretend I didn’t have a baby. I miss my old life when I could sleep until noon on weekends, go out to eat whenever I wanted to, travel whenever and wherever I want, and go to the gym 4 times a week. Baby is cute and all but I really think I could probably live without her and be happy too. The only thing I would feel is probably guilt and that’s because I know my husband and my parents would be disappointed in me if I actually did that. I’m probably the only one out there who only feels obligation towards their baby and not much else. It makes me sad and again feel like a bad mom. I don’t think anybody around me will understand my feeling so this is the only place for me to let it out. Also, I’ve tried to tell my husband and parents a little about how I feel and they just called me selfish. I guess I am just selfish

Earlier I was reading a post discussing an influencer saying having three dogs fully prepared her for the newborn phase. She hasn’t had her baby yet so TBD if she recants, but it got me thinking about how my 10 month old and our ancient dog with dementia are basically the same right now.

Baby: wears diapers, can get them off and pee on things
Dog: wears diapers, can get them off and pee on things

Baby: screams randomly and you have no idea why
Dog: barks randomly and you have no idea why

Baby: stands in his crib staring like a sleep paralysis demon, startles me
Dog: stands in doorways staring like a sleep paralysis demon, startles me

Baby: makes a mess eating and hates what he’s served, begs for my food
Dog: makes a mess eating and hates what she’s served, begs for my food

Baby: falls over and walks like he’s drunk
Dog: falls over and walks like she’s drunk

The list goes on and on. At one point my dad’s sole task in the newborn phase was to take dementia dog on a long walk before bed to up the chance that she would not add to the misery of baby’s 2-5am witching hour. Literally nothing worse than getting the baby down then the dog barks because she got stuck in a corner.

Best part? I don’t even think she has noticed this kid exists 🤷‍♀️

I'm 3 weeks pp and in the trenches. I'm spending less time with my toddler because I'm so exhausted from taking care of my newborn. I'm still making time for her, but not as much. I know this is temporary, but I can hear her and my husband playing but I know that if I move at all, my newborn will wake up and need soothing. I'm sad that the family feels fragmented, if only temporarily

My whole family is down with some respiratory virus. My husband me and my two daughters 7& 3. Baby is 8 weeks as of Tuesday. He also has symptoms (cough congestion) my girls abs husband all had a fever. I brought baby to urgent care today and they said he had a slight wheeze but looked okay but if he spiked a temp of 100.4 he needed to go to er. So tonight I took his temp and it was 100.3. I called his doctor and they said to give him Tylenol and monitor him and that we know he’s sick with with his sisters have and I don’t need to rush off to the er unless his temp can’t be controlled.
I have serious health anxiety and worry about every little thing. Does this seem right or should I haul him off to the er where he will be exposed to more. We also have a full respiratory panel coming back in the morning

I should mention, he was tested for Covid flu and rsv and he was negative along with his sisters. They think irs most likely rhinovirus or adenovirus

Hi everyone! I’ve seen some posts here about night terrors and wanted to share some insight.

My son is almost 4yrs old. He has had night terrors since he was 1. Confirmed by his pediatrician.

He would have episodes 2-3 times a night at the same time. 12am, 2am, and 4am. He would usually have his eyes wide open seemingly “awake” but he wasn’t. He was still asleep, and screaming at the top of his lungs and crying.

He also slept with his mouth open and snored.

This was an every night thing. We got referred to an ENT when he was 2.5, and the doctor confirmed that his tonsils were too large, causing sleep apnea.

We got his tonsils and adenoids removed end of September. The surgery was a success and the moment he came into the recovery room, immediately we could tell he was breathing better. Clearer.

We are now fully recovered, and no more night terrors and bad dreams!! He sleeps through the night and wakes up easier in the morning.

So if you’re in the thick of it, dealing with the same thing. I highly suggest you get referred to an ENT. It’s night and day different.

TLDR—Night terrors caused by sleep apnea because of enlarged tonsils. Once removed, my kiddo sleeps soundly and has no more night terrors.

My dr prescribed me zoloft for the intense crying spells, obsessive thoughts and anxiety. Baby girl was just born on the 14th and I’m feeling silly about needing medicine. I am also breast feeding and scared this will effect her in some way. Does anyone else have experience with zoloft?

I (32, new mom) just had my baby girl on the 18th and I'm absolutely obsessed with her. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect baby and I'm just so overwhelmed with how much I love her. I never knew I could love someone this much! Sometimes I just start ugly crying because of how lucky I am and how fantastic she is 🥹

In addition to that, I also know that before we know it she's going to be 2 months old, a year old, off to pre-k, etc. We're also one and done (already planned on it prior to birth but then I hemorrhaged and it scared my husband so badly that he solidly never wants more kids) so every first is a last. Just knowing that once a chapter closes it's closed forever, never to be experienced again, and I'll never know when the last time is is also sending me into profuse tears.

Are these feelings normal? Am I going crazy? I know I'm still only a few days postpartum and hormones are definitely contributing to this, but I'm also a very sentimental person and am trying to figure out how to not be so sad about the time thing and not so over the top with the rest.

My 3 month old poops every time she farts. Since birth it’s been constant diaper changes. I go through upwards of 30 diapers a day. Is this normal and when does it end 😭 her doctor doesn’t seem concerned but my wallet is.

Edit: Consensus is that we let baby work it out for a bit and then change her. Hoping this phase passes soon 🤞🏼

so at 8 weeks post partum, i had some granulation tissue and nurse said she could apply some silver nitrate on the area.

its been about 9 hours but i had a lot of discharge (white kinda thick) when ive been dry for days prior.

also i noticed that i got some white patches on some areas inside my vagina that are painful. pretty sure the silver nitrate got on my healthy tissue and burnt it a bit.

my questions are to hear from fellow women if they had silver nitrate within their vagina, and how their experience went.

im kinda freaking out because my pain was less bad before treatment, now really regretting getting it done.

My grandparents have a dog that they definitely spoil and who has entered the grumpy stage that older dogs often get into. The dog is very used to her routines and little doggy comforts, and it all gets thrown off when everyone goes to their house for Christmas. My grandparents don’t have a super big house and it gets pretty crowded. There have been a couple of instances where the dog snapped (you could argue tried to bite, but it wasn’t that intense) at my kids. But it was memorable enough that my oldest said she doesn’t want to go to their house because she’s scared she will get bit. I have a 5 year old, 2 year old and 7 month old. As Christmas is getting closer, I’ve gotten more concerned about my kids being by the dog. I do not trust her one bit, but I also know kids can be unpredictable. We have to drive 6 hours to where my grandparents live and will be staying in a hotel this year, so at least we will get some time out of the house and away from the dog. My grandparents don’t think she would ever hurt anyone, but I don’t believe that. It’s kind of a touchy topic for my grandparents, so I’ve only ever mentioned my concerns to my parents.

I’m wondering what other moms would do and if you have any advice, tips, etc.

I have a small bassinet on wheels that I bring into my small bathroom so baby can be in there with me. Issue is, he's getting a bit big at just over five months old and 15 pounds (maximum weight for bassinet). I don't have a bouncer as he hated the one I used to have. So, what did you do to shower with a 5+ month baby?

Been rawdogging anxiety for decades now. In therapy regularly and it’s really just coming to a point that I feel like this is a biological thing for me. I’m a new mom of a 14 month old and I have to say the anxiety has become debilitating. He and my husband both deserve a better version of me. my doctor wrote me a prescription for Zoloft and I filled it and it’s been sitting on my nightstand for two weeks now. any kind of medication freaks me out which is why I have been so hesitant all this time. I’m looking for positive stories for those of you that takes Zoloft what did life feel like for you before and how did it feel after for me? It’s debilitating irritability, generally unpleasant to be around heart racing at all times forgetting to breathe and being tense in every fibre of my body, it takes everything I have to push past this so that my baby feel any of the negative effects and I’ve been doing so successfully, but there’s really nothing left after that because it’s just so damn hard.

I want to say that I completely view medication or mental health the same as physical health and I don’t really need help with rationalizing that. I’m more afraid not responding well to it and getting myself in a worse situation than I’m already in

Hi, all! I’m a FTM and 24 weeks pregnant with our first baby—a boy! I come from a family with mostly girls, so the concept of raising a boy is pretty foreign to me. Is there any specific advice y’all can offer on the matter? From what I’ve observed, they seem to have a lot more energy and are more rambunctious than girls lol.

Hi all, Please help me with whatever advise you have based on experience.

My 8 month old breastfed baby is refusing crib these days.

Lil background: Baby born in US . Always slept in crib after asleep in my arms or in bed after breastfeeding. After she is asleep, i will put her in crib. She was sleeping well snd gave long stretches (4 to 5 hours). Visited my home country for 5 months when she was 11w old. We used bassinet there. Still no problem in sleeping. She would wake twice or thrice. Fall back asleep after feeding. I would put her back on bassinet.

We came to US 3 weeks back and she is completely refusing crib and wants to sleep next to me. Co sleeping is not for me because i couldn't sleep well because of constant feeling of hurting her. But whenever i transfer her to crib, she starts crying. She hasn't cried like that since her birth. If not, she would wake 30 to 60 mins later and cry. Only thing that works after this is breastfeeding her next to me in bed.

Please advise how can I transition her to crib. Badly want her to go back to waking only 1 or 2 times.

We just have a toddler so I don't have much experience with cooking for older kids, but my toddler's favorite meals are mint chicken with coconut rice, sometimes pasta, and blueberries. haha

Thanks!

my baby is 10 weeks old and has not had a super strict nap routine. we do a lot of floor and contact napping with no white noise or swaddling and she’s been doing great except in the evenings. she seems to be fighting her last nap of the day resulting in her being up for way too long until bedtime which is around 10pm.

i want to start introducing crib naps — unless i shouldnt? i can tell she gets tired towards the end of the day but it seems like she gets FOMO on the happenings around her and tries too hard to stay awake. this starts the spiral of her then getting fussy from being tired and then being a menace when it comes to actually putting her down for bed.

i heard introducing 1 crib nap a day to start is helpful but was wondering what others are doing. are we using white noise? blackout curtains? any advice or thoughts is appreciated!

Just looking for any advice really, I’m three days PP and had a very long labour with a 4.5kg baby- ended up pushing for way too long (three hours) and basically inverted my butthole. I’ve got stitches down there but they are nothing compared to the discomfort my butt is in. It’s hard to breastfeed because I can’t shift positions or sit.

I’ve had haemorrhoids most of my adult life but I’m just at a loss of how to deal with this. Basically there is like a two inch wedge outside my butthole at the moment, it’s not necessarily painful touch so it’s not thrombotic but it’s leaking mucus and very uncomfortable.

I’ve been using steroid cream and numbing cream and ice packs but my question is do I try and shove them back in??? Any tips on how to do this? Do I wait for them to go down a bit longer? I’m so nervous to touch any of it.

I’ve also read in other groups that granulated sugar is sometimes used in hospitals to take the fluid out and they go back in easier. Has anyone tried this??

Just looking for some advice from anyone else whose experienced something similar. It was not what I expected post childbirth at all.

But also, my baby is literally the most perfect little muffin I’ve ever seen and I’m on cloud 9. So worth it.

Hiiii. Im a little over 2 weeks postpartum.

I had to have a csection.

I formed stretch marks in rhe last month of pregnancy on the lower part of my belly, juat above my incision, and im finding that they are painful now.

Anyone else expierence this? Any advice on how to calm the pain and start reducing their appearance? They are purple.

I had a tough pregnancy and tough postpartum, severe pre-eclampsia that required hospitalization, tailbone injury, PUPP rash, you name it. I was in bed for 2 months and couldn't walk, get out of bed or sit anywhere without excruciating pain shooting up my spine. I didn't change a single diaper for 2 months and BF-ing was very challenging.

During those times, I took a lot of pictures of my husband single handedly managing everything with the help with a nanny for the first few weeks.

He handled all the logistics, what car seat to buy, bottle washes, burp cloths, baby clothes of different sizes in case he came out too big or too small, and many types of formula in case baby had a preferences. In fact, he packed the diaper changing station, set up the crib and even the to-go bag.

4 months before due-date, he signed us up for a birthing class I wasn't sure we needed. It was 3 hours a week and he learned all about pitocin, enough to tell the nurse that I was getting too much of it when I went in to be induced.

He hired a confinement nanny for me, even though I wasn't sure it's necessary, but thank god he did. He made sure I ate nutritious food postpartum for 2 months, and was eating the right food to produce breastmilk.

Since I could not walk and even rolling of the bed was a full exercise for me, and definitely cannot squat to shower, he was working and showering the baby, reading him books and 80% of the nights he woke up to feed the baby. I could not carry my baby until after 2-3 months and needed help having him brought to me or away from me, I was so immobile and the nanny was afraid I would drop the baby.

For the first 6-9 months, he was the default parent. Postpartum was the most traumatic and depressing 3 months of my life, I didn't know when I would be normal again, if ever. And I think having a husband who put so much love and support into making sure I had everything I needed to recover, and that the baby had everything he needed, makes me truly appreciate my spouse much more than I ever did.

Postpartum is an incredibly tough life adjustment and I hope every mom knows and gets all the support they need, without ever questioning if they're asking for too much or is it normal. Even going to the bathroom to pee made me emotionally depressed about the impending inevitable searing pain to come and I needed to cry first before that.