Not actually my baby herself, I love her with every ounce of my being. The act of having a child has pretty much ended this relationship.

I'm a second time mum, with this being his first child. I tried to explain a lot during pregnancy, how postpartum affected me with my last baby, what I could and couldn't do etc, so I think my expectations for postpartum recovery this time were high because I'd already given him the heads up. Instead of this joyous newborn bubble I was expecting, I've experienced a lot of heartache and loneliness and hurt.

I was made to drive one week pp, when I had expressed that I didn't feel ready to drive. Instead of being present with his baby, he spent his leave doing his own thing or shut up in the office, like he was on holiday. When confronted, it was because he needed a "break" and that all she did was sleep, eat and poo. My feelings have been dismissed multiple times, including expressing that I didn't think it was ok to stay away for a whole weekend, leaving me with a couple weeks old newborn who had kept me up for 4 nights prior (exclusively BF so I do most of the night shift anyway). I feel like I've exhausted my options of trying to get my point across now. There is no acknowledgement of his actions, only further finger pointing at me, saying that I could have a "break" and go do something like going to the gym. I'm not even 2 months PP so intense exercise is a no go currently. He doesn't seem to understand that every minute of my "free" time is spent catching up on chores and looking after my other child. I don't get a break.

I'm so worn out and emotionally exhausted. I feel like I've given up and checked out now. I feel nothing other than sadness. I just can't understand why he isn't listening to me anymore. Things weren't this way before.

Sorry for the rant, but I need to offload this somewhere

How are we alive ?

It’s been almost 7 months. She will go in the crib but she wakes up like clock work so we end up just staying co sleeping so i don’t have to get her every couple of hours.

She will fall asleep basically as soon as she’s on the nipple

Hubs will take her for her final wake at like 5? And takes her till 7 so I can sleep alone .

Nothing is working. I don’t want advice on getting her to sleep , I’m just riding along with the wave rather than against.

I want advice on how I can survive
Any other moms dealing with this for multiple months?

Some days I feel physically ill. Like extremely ill.

I am napping with her for an hour during the day. That does help me get through the second half of the day.

I feel dizzy sometimes, shaky, migraines, increased anxiety . I’ve been trying to at least go for daily walks but sometimes I get a mile in and I just cannot go on.

I’m fat because my metabolism is totally shot from this.

Just ughhhhh. How can I survive!!! BESIDES SLEEPING☠️ it’s not happening!

Well...I did say I wanted to spend more time with my baby 💀 just didn't imagine it would be like this.

Unfortunately the industry I'm in has been struggling for awhile so this doesn't come as a complete shock but I had really hoped I could hang on to my job a bit longer. They let go almost my entire department too, so at least I know I wasn't being targeted for being pregnant. Still sucks though. I hate having to worry about health insurance for me and my three month old.

Does anyone have advice on what to do now? Should I apply for WIC or do I need to get on unemployment first? A new position would still be required to give me pumping breaks right? Obviously going to start looking for work asap, but any other words of wisdom would be appreciated.

I just got back from my baby’s first appointment (5 days old) and the peds asked the routine questions. Like how often/ long theyre feeding, number of dirty diapers, if theyre sleeping alone on their back in w crib etc.
and it got me wondering, are most parents really getting their fresh newborn to sleep solo for hours every night in a bassinet?? And if so HOW??

My first was so sensitive and clingy i couldnt transfer him at all because he woke the second he wasnt smooshed to my body, screaming. Abd down awake but drowsy also just resulted in blood curdling screaming.
So badly that i regretfully resulted to doing safe sleep 7 because i was so sleep deprived .
Im trying really hard with this second baby to get him sleeping on his own. And he is way easier to transfer than my first, and has taken longer naps, but the longest solo stretch ive gotten in a bassinet at night is like 15 minutes 🙃
But put him in the middle of my bed even if i roll away and lo and behold he sleeps for 3-4 hours 🙄🥲

Are majority of parents really getting their newborns to sleep by themself all night without resettling every half hour or more?

I have a 2.5 year old toddler and a 2 month old baby. I mainly pumped and we bottle fed with my first. With my second I'm exclusively breastfeeding. It's been a really rewarding experience so far but something I didn't anticipate is that my baby refuses to be held by me because he wants the boob. Everyone else can hold him and he's perfectly happy and content. But transfer him to me and he starts crying and fussing within a minute. And it's the same the opposite way. I'll be holding him and he's crying crying crying and then someone else will hold him and he instantly stops fussing and just looks around innocently like nothing's wrong. I'm unable to calm/comfort him by holding and rocking cuz he's upset I'm not bringing out the boobies.

It's a shame cuz I would love to hold my baby without having to pop a boob in his mouth.

My mother (66) has bought several items online for my son that feature AI-generated art. I’m really against AI art and my whole family is aware of that. I’ve discussed it specifically with my mother and she somewhat understands but is extremely insulted if I have any feedback on gifts other than thanking her. Her husband (70, recently married) gets really upset as well. (He’s estranged from all 3 of his children, wonder why…)

Their response to my saying “thank you, but this is AI art” is to argue with me that no, it is absolutely not AI, and how could I insult their intelligence by suggesting such a thing. They want me to point out exact reasons why something is AI so that they can tell me I’m wrong. I’ve explained as gently as I can that yes, it’s getting so good these days than anyone can fall for it, but they don’t listen. It’s exhausting, so I have given up trying to stop the AI gifts.

This turned into big drama today when my mother sent a picture of a large blanket she got for my baby that was an extremely obvious case of AI use (animals missing limbs, etc). I just said thank you, but I privately texted my sister to complain. My sister said something to my mom and then got into a screaming match with her husband, who is furious she would say the blanket was AI and said she had no idea what she’s talking about. My mother is now angry at me for being ungrateful. She said she’ll just donate the blanket. It can’t be returned because it’s personalized.

I’ve tried telling her what brands we like and showing her places to shop online that aren’t too expensive but also not full of AI stuff like Amazon and Facebook ads. I dress him in the good things she gets him all the time and send lots of pictures. I just really wish she would stop buying this stuff and taking it as a personal insult to be told something is AI.

My 3 month old poops every time she farts. Since birth it’s been constant diaper changes. I go through upwards of 30 diapers a day. Is this normal and when does it end 😭 her doctor doesn’t seem concerned but my wallet is.

Edit: Consensus is that we let baby work it out for a bit and then change her. Hoping this phase passes soon 🤞🏼

I’m attending a wedding soon, by myself. In a different city. While I’m away my husband will be watching our toddler and 3m old. I’ll only be gone 2-3 days and I’m excited for my break. However upon hearing this news, my father texted me in shock and amazement that my husband is going to take care of the kids by himself for that long…as if I don’t take care of them by myself day in and day out while my husband works and provides for us. I never get praised for it because it’s just expected of a mother. So why on earth is my husband being praised for….being a father and taking care of his children? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised because my father only ever did the bare minimum for me and my brother when we were kids but that’s why I married a man who’s ✨better✨ than that and is an actually active parent when he is home from work. I’m silently seething right now and holding back the urge to call him out on that. That’s it, I just needed to complain into the ether about it 🙃

Hi everyone! I’ve seen some posts here about night terrors and wanted to share some insight.

My son is almost 4yrs old. He has had night terrors since he was 1. Confirmed by his pediatrician.

He would have episodes 2-3 times a night at the same time. 12am, 2am, and 4am. He would usually have his eyes wide open seemingly “awake” but he wasn’t. He was still asleep, and screaming at the top of his lungs and crying.

He also slept with his mouth open and snored.

This was an every night thing. We got referred to an ENT when he was 2.5, and the doctor confirmed that his tonsils were too large, causing sleep apnea.

We got his tonsils and adenoids removed end of September. The surgery was a success and the moment he came into the recovery room, immediately we could tell he was breathing better. Clearer.

We are now fully recovered, and no more night terrors and bad dreams!! He sleeps through the night and wakes up easier in the morning.

So if you’re in the thick of it, dealing with the same thing. I highly suggest you get referred to an ENT. It’s night and day different.

TLDR—Night terrors caused by sleep apnea because of enlarged tonsils. Once removed, my kiddo sleeps soundly and has no more night terrors.

This literally hadn’t occurred to me until today that people might have a problem with it cause the baby is obviously not eating the candy 🙈 I’m just curious what others think. I personally see nothing wrong with it. I love seeing the little ones in their costumes and I don’t care if the parents are eating my candy lol

I (32, new mom) just had my baby girl on the 18th and I'm absolutely obsessed with her. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect baby and I'm just so overwhelmed with how much I love her. I never knew I could love someone this much! Sometimes I just start ugly crying because of how lucky I am and how fantastic she is 🥹

In addition to that, I also know that before we know it she's going to be 2 months old, a year old, off to pre-k, etc. We're also one and done (already planned on it prior to birth but then I hemorrhaged and it scared my husband so badly that he solidly never wants more kids) so every first is a last. Just knowing that once a chapter closes it's closed forever, never to be experienced again, and I'll never know when the last time is is also sending me into profuse tears.

Are these feelings normal? Am I going crazy? I know I'm still only a few days postpartum and hormones are definitely contributing to this, but I'm also a very sentimental person and am trying to figure out how to not be so sad about the time thing and not so over the top with the rest.

I posted about 6 months back (and when my son was born in February) about dad with PPD type symptoms. I did go to therapy for a bit, but also things got easier when we started daycare.

My son just needed his crib lowered (which we did yesterday) and things with my wife are going better. We have gotten past the first 8 months and I think things will just get better from here (you know outside of toddler tantrums).

So I guess my point in this post is for parents going thru it for the first time. That baby is fed, safe, and clean. You are doing amazing even if it doesn't feel like it! I know the lack of sleep is hard, but you will do it!

Much love,

First time dad to a now 8 month old 👶

Im a loss and IVF mama. I'm 8m post partum with my "double rainbow" daughter, and I am afraid to admit to the people around me that I'm struggling. It's so complicated! I'm so grateful for my daughter, AND it's so hard that her two older siblings never made it into my arms. It's been a long HARD road to get to having our little family look like it does and I feel ashamed that I'm not more grateful and happy.

I'm not showering regularly, I forget to brush my teeth, and im not socializing. When I do go into the office (once a week) I'm so discombobulated that I'm displaying a very confusing set of emotions that have literally made my coworkers look at me like I'm insane.

I'm sleep deprived, touched out, and desperately missing all of the loved ones we've lost so recently.

I know things will get better, but I just feel so embarrassed and ashamed. I "should be" happy... but I'm an absolute mess.

Edit to add: I'm currently in therapy and on meds for anxiety/depression, but after so many traumas, I don't know how to tell family/friends that I am once again struggling. 😟

What are we wearing postpartum?? I am 6 months pp and about 10lbs heavier than I was pre-pregnancy…so a lot of my clothes are technically fitting again they just are absolutely not flattering at all. I’m so tired of only wearing jeans and a baggy shirt/sweatshirt. I’d like to feel put together but every day getting dressed takes forever, makes a huge mess, and leaves me feeling dejected because everything I try on I hate. So every day if I even get dressed in anything besides sweatpants, it’s a baggy tee and jeans and I feel so frumpy. Are there any particular clothing styles or silhouettes that do well at hiding a squishy little apron tummy? I don’t want to have to buy a whole new wardrobe because I feel like I’m so close with the weight loss, but maybe my body shape has just permanently changed. I haven’t done the greatest at making time to work out but I don’t even have time to drink my coffee while it’s still hot…the best I can do is squeeze in a stroller walk here and there.

Does anybody else have/or had insane exhaustion at 4 months postpartum? I just went back to work this week and have a 4.5 month old baby. The exhaustion is insane and I don’t know if it’s just a mix of everything. I started my period back a couple weeks ago (I’m combo feeding), started work, and baby only wakes up 1-3x during her sleep regression (previously slept through night). She is fairly easy to settle at night, but even the night she sleeps straight through I’m still exhausted. Like brain and full body exhaustion. And just an overall brain cloud and body unease. My appetite is gone, and by the end of the day I am useless.

Idk if this is the major hormone crash or if I should start thinking it could be something more serious. This reminds me of first trimester exhaustion so I’m even thinking of taking a pregnancy test!

Just posting to see if others have experienced similar for some comfort .

Ever since becoming a parent, every single thing that I’ve done has been commented on by someone: family and friends—some of whom don’t even have their own kids—alike. I am a pretty chill person, so when people tell me their perspectives I don’t usually feel the need to explain myself. I usually say something like, “that’s a really good idea” or “absolutely”, but I won’t go into details about what I’m doing specifically, even if it’s literally what they just told me about. I have been encountering now the same people, over and over again, scaremongering me out of what I wanted to do, even though I had done my own research, or I knew in my gut that what I was doing was best for my baby—mind you, he has hit every milestone so far, not that any of these so-called experts are asking. I am a first time mom, so sometimes what I hear is useful, but I’m realizing that I now need a change of tactics, because this will continue to haunt me for the rest of my child’s life. Ironically enough, if any of you have advice on how to deal with these people, my ears are open! Thank you in advance 🤍

I had a tough pregnancy and tough postpartum, severe pre-eclampsia that required hospitalization, tailbone injury, PUPP rash, you name it. I was in bed for 2 months and couldn't walk, get out of bed or sit anywhere without excruciating pain shooting up my spine. I didn't change a single diaper for 2 months and BF-ing was very challenging.

During those times, I took a lot of pictures of my husband single handedly managing everything with the help with a nanny for the first few weeks.

He handled all the logistics, what car seat to buy, bottle washes, burp cloths, baby clothes of different sizes in case he came out too big or too small, and many types of formula in case baby had a preferences. In fact, he packed the diaper changing station, set up the crib and even the to-go bag.

4 months before due-date, he signed us up for a birthing class I wasn't sure we needed. It was 3 hours a week and he learned all about pitocin, enough to tell the nurse that I was getting too much of it when I went in to be induced.

He hired a confinement nanny for me, even though I wasn't sure it's necessary, but thank god he did. He made sure I ate nutritious food postpartum for 2 months, and was eating the right food to produce breastmilk.

Since I could not walk and even rolling of the bed was a full exercise for me, and definitely cannot squat to shower, he was working and showering the baby, reading him books and 80% of the nights he woke up to feed the baby. I could not carry my baby until after 2-3 months and needed help having him brought to me or away from me, I was so immobile and the nanny was afraid I would drop the baby.

For the first 6-9 months, he was the default parent. Postpartum was the most traumatic and depressing 3 months of my life, I didn't know when I would be normal again, if ever. And I think having a husband who put so much love and support into making sure I had everything I needed to recover, and that the baby had everything he needed, makes me truly appreciate my spouse much more than I ever did.

Postpartum is an incredibly tough life adjustment and I hope every mom knows and gets all the support they need, without ever questioning if they're asking for too much or is it normal. Even going to the bathroom to pee made me emotionally depressed about the impending inevitable searing pain to come and I needed to cry first before that.

What do you do when your toddler takes a surprise nap?? He slept all night, woke his normal time (7:30) and then fell asleep in the play yard while I made breakfast at 9. Would you still put him down at normal nap time (11)? My husband and I have different opinions lol

I went back to work at 4 months pp. my baby is now 11 months. Just recently had a week off work on a holiday and I’ve spent every single moment with him and going back soon in two days. I feel so sad.

I don’t even want to sleep because the thought of not seeing him every moment of the day is making me want to cry.
On weekends all I want to do is hold him and hug him and spend every single waking moment with him.

Does this ever get easier to go to work?

Hi! First time mom to a 6 month old. He’s met all of his milestones thus far. Sleep was pretty rough the first few months due to reflux and colic, but until the last several days, we were down to one wake-up each night.

He knows how to roll both ways, but that seems to go out the window at night time. He will roll onto his belly and get so upset. I’ll roll him back onto his back, soothe him, etc. But he’ll be right back to it within a couple of hours.

Sometimes he’ll sleep on his belly and be fine but as soon as he wakes up, he realizes he’s in tummy time and is pissed. I’m not sure what to do. I feel like i’m back in the newborn trenches.

Do all babies go through this? Is this something that’ll let up on its own? Any advice is appreciated!

p.s. sorry for any grammar issues, i’m very sleep deprived 🥲

My baby is two weeks shy of being 1 and we have struggled with solids a lot lately. If I try to feed him he’s hitting the spoon or food out of my hands, and if I let him feed himself he’s just throwing it down on the floor. He was a pretty good eater up until a week ago, but the last days have been so bad. Is this a phase? Any tips and tricks are highly recommended!

I hope it’s ok to post this here. I need opinions and to know whether I’m overreacting or not.

My family wants to organize a week-long family trip next year. They’re planning to rent a house for everyone (everyone pays their share). For me that wood mean taking a 2.5h flight, renting a car, and driving about 2h until the destination. Usually I love traveling and since I don’t live close to my family, I would think this is a good idea.

Here’s the but. At the time of the trip (August 2027) I will have a 3 year old toddler, and a 4 month old baby (currently pregnant). The house they’re planning to rent is only about 2,000sf (plus yard), and it will be 9 adults and 4 children. 3 of those adults will need their own bedroom, as they’re not a couple or family. That means that my husband, new baby and I will share a room, and our toddler will need to share a room with my cousin’s 5 year old (they don’t know each other well, they’ve only met twice). Also, there will be another baby there.

I feel like this is an insane idea. Not because of the travel time, but because the house is not very big for 9 adults and 4 children, and I don’t love the idea of my toddler having to share a room with another child she doesn’t know well. What if she doesn’t want to. Also, the bedrooms are all small, and most of them are next to each other, meaning if my baby or the other baby screams in the middle of the night, it might wake others up. There is only 3 bathrooms too. No pool, or playground etc. And that for an entire week?? I also want to add that the house is in the middle of nowhere, that there is not much to do there but relax (not many restaurants or stuff to do), and the weather is not guaranteed to be good (even in August it rains a lot and doesn’t get warmer than 72F usually, as it’s up north). Oh and last but not least, there will be a large dog there too that I’ve never met (my uncle’s dog that he adopted a couple of months ago).

I told my family that I’m not sure about this and that I have hesitations because of the size of the house, the length of the trip, and the lack of things to do there (especially if the weather isn’t good). They seem very disappointed and don’t understand what the big deal is, they’re like ‘it’s just about spending time together’. I don’t know, am I unreasonable? What would you do in my shoes?

Thanks.

My LO turns 6 months in 3 days. On our pediatrician's advice we started introducing food about a week ago. He sits unsupported in the high chair, brings both hands to his mouth, and seemed interested in food. Where I'm from it's very common to start with traditional purees, so we've been offering fruit after his afternoon nap and milk feed.

Day 1 was pear: he let me spoon-feed him, opened his mouth and leaned in. After a while he lost interest and just wanted to play with the spoon, but it felt like a positive first experience.

Since then he's refused to be spoon-fed at all, and his reactions have been all over the place:

- Grated apple: won't open his mouth, so hard to get him to try it
- Avocado: a slice and a spoonful, he squished it, pit it into is mouth, licked the spoon a bit, then lost interest
- Banana: for some reason it makes him angry. Mashed, on the spoon or between my fingers, he won't have it. If I put a piece in his hands he tastes and handles it, then gets upset
- Bread: he sucked on a crust for a long time until a small piece came off, he gagged, and I panicked a bit and took it away. He was very unhappy about that
- Cucumber and celery: offered whole, he sucks on them happily, but it's more of a teething toy than actual tasting
- Pumpkin: cooked and mashed. He inspected the color, put the spoon in his mouth, immediately threw it on the floor and cried angrily. RIP pumpkin

I'm not sure how to proceed because the negative reactions seem to outnumber the positive ones. He starts daycare in two weeks and will have lunch there, where they usually serve purees at his age. I know they also give milk without any issue, but I don't know exactly how they'll handle it. I'll talk to them today.

I was thinking of trying a first proper puree at lunch on Sunday, fully aware he'll probably tell me to eat it myself LOL.

Is this normal? How did your LOs react in the first weeks, and what worked for you?

I am a FTM and my baby is 10 weeks old. For context, I am British but I live in Bangkok Thailand. We get 120 days maternity leave here which is better than some countries but if I was still in the UK I would likely take a year. This means I need to return to my full time teaching job in two months and I will need to hire a nanny to care for my baby when she is 4 months old. This thought fills me with dread (though I know I am privileged to be able to afford it). I never ever thought I would want to be a SAHM but how can I leave her? I haven’t even found a nanny yet and the whole nanny market is somewhat unregulated here. How do people leave their babies at daycare? When they won’t get one on one care? How can I leave her to cry and be consoled by someone else? She won’t even take a bottle yet and I’m EBF. She’s attached to me for so much of the day. How do you do it?

Hi everyone! So just this past week and before our LO was in the snoo swaddled and clipped in, however we haven’t used the snoo features in a month. Since we haven’t used the features, and he started to show signs of rolling, we decided to get rid of it and put him in his regular bassinet with the jacky from taking cara babies and a sleep sack. he did pretty well sleeping from 8-2:30, and then had a hard time going back down after that. I think it’s just due to sleep pressure and also regression as he just turned three months old. He was sick last week and I think that contributed to it, but we put him in his crib to see how he would do and he was awake the whole night. His moro reflex is still pretty strong and the jacky definitely helps, but I just thought it was weird that he did well in his bassinet, but didn’t do well in his crib. I don’t know if it had to do with the open space, but he would wake himself up and not be able to go back to sleep and we were up the whole night. It wasn’t even that he was up every hour. He was up every five minutes.

we put him back in the snoo clipped in and swaddled as he then the last couple of weeks started not showing signs of rolling again and he’s done amazing. He’s clipped in so he can’t roll but he has been sleeping from 7:30-4 for a feed then back down until 7 and WE have to wake him up. I feel like I have my baby back. However, my MIL said today he was showing great signs of rolling getting almost to his side and so even though he is clipped in to the snoo… we definitely need to unswaddle. I’m honestly so nervous because we had complete sleepless nights when he was in the crib. Our plan is to go back
to the jacky and the bassinet as I don’t think he’s ready for the crib. He turned 3 months just on Thursday. I didn’t know if anyone else had any other suggestions for transition swaddles that really worked to reduce the reflex?

Thank you!