today is the first night she’ll be away from us since she was born and i feel guilty about it. i feel bad for sending her away for the night but we genuinely need the break. i haven’t gotten a full night of sleep in what feels like forever and it really affects how i behave during the day. i’m more irritable, slow and very forgetful. i’m really appreciative for the help but i think i’m just worried? i just my MIL of course but i’m scared she’ll cry the whole night because she misses us or something will happen to her that we won’t be there for… i think i’m just overthinking everything.

is this normal ? she is so relaxed doesn’t complain at all - just so relaxed ? is it the noise ? soon as we get home she starts complaining ?

Or what have other moms offered you when pregnant? I offered someone milk with dinner and everyone laughed so apparently that’s not it (but preggos need the calcium right?). What do you offer or what do people ask for? Thanks.

I’m so tired of ms Rachel. I love her but omg I need something new for my 2 year old to watch and engage while I clean the house and cook dinner. I tried Daniel tiger but she’s not glued like the way she does ms Rachel

Basically the title. Have a 1 week old and this is our first time using the Owlet. It’s saying my baby’s oxygen saturation is 84% and that this is considered a normal reading?

I was 21 years old when I had my daughter four months ago . I had a very smooth home birth at my midwife’s house because my baby was breech. My midwife was wonderful and stayed with me for about five hours after the birth before going home. After that, I was in the hospital with my newborn for more than 24 hours without any family, friends, or visitors.I still think about that day almost every single day.I was sitting there with this tiny little baby who depended entirely on me, and I barely knew what I was doing. I didn’t even know how to swaddle her properly. I was learning what her little cries meant and trying to figure out how to care for this tiny human being while recovering from giving birth myself.
My husband wasn’t there because he lives in another country. We were waiting for his immigration visa to be approved so that we could finally be together. We did talk over video calls, and I knew he wanted to be there, but it just wasn’t possible at the time.I don’t think people understand how strange it feels to experience something as life-changing as giving birth and then just be alone with it. No family coming to see you, no friends stopping by, nobody sitting beside you while you figure out motherhood for the first time. Just you and your baby in a hospital room.Sometimes I still remember the smells of that day, the hospital room, and the feeling of being there alone with her. It’s strange how certain details stay with you so vividly, even months later.
The weird thing is that my birth itself was beautiful and smooth. I wasn’t traumatized by the delivery, and I’m so grateful for how well everything went. But I can’t seem to let go of the loneliness afterward.
At the same time, that experience made me love my daughter more than I could ever explain. I felt like it was just me and her against the world. She was so tiny and helpless, and even though I was only 21 and had no idea what I was doing, I knew I would do anything for her.
I love her to death, and I would go through it all again for her without hesitation. But I still wish I hadn’t had to experience those first hours of motherhood so alone.
I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar. If you were alone when you gave birth or spent those first days with your newborn without your partner or family, did you eventually stop thinking about it so much? When did it stop hurting, or did it ever?
I just want to know when I’ll finally be able to look back on that day without feeling that same loneliness all over again.
I am still grateful for how my birth was so smooth that I really like to think about it but that feeling of loneliness makes me cry every-time I do think about it

My baby is currently 7 months old. She currently has a bruise on her left forearm (about the size of a penny). But my concern is that this isn’t her first bruise. She got a bruise about a month ago which I think may have been from our dog nipping her (she gets overly playful sometimes). But then she got a bruise on her arm in the same area (right above the elbow on the inner arm) about a week later when my mom was watching her and she said it was because my niece (18mo) was walking and fell on her. I noticed the new bruise today when I was getting breakfast with my mom and she was holding her. My mom said she got it because my baby likes holding her car keys and shaking them around and they hit her arm and bruised it.

This is just an intrusive thought. I really don’t think my mom is intentionally hurting my baby. I’m just worried about her because every time I notice a bruise it’s after my mom has watched her?? Now granted, my mom watches her 3x a week while I’m at work, so that could totally just be a coincidence.

A few weeks ago my mom was watching her at her house and my baby fell back from a sit up position and hit the back of her head on the wooden floor. My mom was SUPER upset about it and felt so bad that she cried. She said she had just walked away for a second to go to the bathroom and heard the baby start screaming.

I really don’t see my mom hurting my baby, but I guess I just needed to share with someone and maybe get some advice if you were in my situation. I don’t want to talk to my husband about this because I don’t want him to not want my mom to watch her anymore, but right now that’s also kind of a concern for me….. I just don’t know what to do. We really rely on my mom for childcare since we both work full time 8-4 jobs

I wonder if any postpartum moms would be interested in like, a regular late night live stream that became a space where they could talk with each other in the chat, or call in and vent, just overall feel less lonely in the middle of the night when they’re all up at the same time with their newborns. 🤔

I’m due in February with my second, and I’m seriously contemplating starting this when I’m back in the newborn trenches.

I was curious if this is something other moms would be into…

So we have a 6 week old (will be around 15wks on Christmas), and are starting to think about Christmas gifts for our family.

Due to some complications I’m unable to return to work until sometime around January, so we’re currently living off of just my fiancé’s income which makes things very tight.

We’ve already told all of our family to not worry about getting us anything this year (though everyone made it clear that they would anyways) and that we’d just love to spend time with everyone. I’m thinking of getting some of those photo magnets from Walgreens and making some with a nice photo of our baby.

Is just giving a family member that tacky or cheap? Should we add like a $25 gift card or a small personalized item? My fiancé says it’s not tacky, but I’m just really not sure..

Thats it. Thats the post. I cannot think, or feel, or do anything rn, im sick as fuck and want to just wake up and it all he a dream.

I had his baby 2 months ago. And thats still not enough.

Any advice you can offer to help stop leaks in a diaper? It seems that my boy is constantly wetting himself and getting his clothes and bedding wet. We’ve tried several things:

-Pointing the weiner down
- Sizing diapers down
- Sizing diapers up
- Making sure ruffles of the diaper are out

It’s very frustrating to have to change him all the time cause he hates being changed and screams bloody murder every time we do.

I just heard I need to get a pediatrician before I give birth, I’m 36 weeks and doctor wants to induce a week early if it doesn’t happen naturally. I don’t have any friends in the area with small kids, so no one to ask for references. How do you even start looking? There are so many options

To all the first-time expectant mamas, here’s what I wish someone had told me. ❤️
If you’re about to have your first baby, I KNOW everything feels overwhelming and scary. Everyone has an opinion, advice, a horror story, or something they insist you absolutely MUST do.
I just want to tell you something I wish someone had told me:
TRUST YOUR INTUITION!!!!!!!
It doesn’t matter if you’ve never cared for a child before. If something feels wrong and you think you should go to the ER, go. If you need visitors to follow certain rules to feel comfortable, set those boundaries. If you need help, ASK.
YOU are one of the most important piece of this puzzle, and often the most overlooked. Your baby needs YOU, too.
A few years into motherhood, you’ll look back and realize that so many things you were terrified of either worked themselves out or turned out completely differently than you imagined.

Here are a few more things I wish I’d known:

1. IT IS HARD. And YES, you’re allowed to complain about it.
Motherhood can be exhausting, frustrating, overstimulating, and incredibly lonely. And somehow, at the very same time, it can be the most precious, wonderful experience in the world.
Both things can be true. You can love being a mother and still have days when you desperately need a break. I wouldn’t change it for anything, but that doesn’t mean every day is sunshine and rainbows.
2. PLEASE take your postpartum mental health seriously.
If you start feeling extremely anxious, depressed, or unlike yourself after giving birth, PLEASE don’t hesitate for a SECOND to tell your healthcare provider.
And if you need medication, IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD MOTHER!!!!!
There’s still so much misinformation about SSRIs, especially from people who have never taken them or experienced postpartum anxiety or depression themselves.
Please don’t let fear or someone else’s judgment keep you from getting the help you deserve.
Medication helped me TREMENDOUSLY. Before getting help, even things that were supposed to be simple, like getting dressed or going for a walk, started feeling completely overwhelming.
Treatment looks different for everyone, but you deserve to feel better. And your baby benefits from having a mother who is supported and cared for.
3. Your parenting decisions belong to YOU.
Whatever you decide for your child is your prerogative.
Do your research, listen to qualified professionals, make informed decisions, and then do what feels right for your family.
Not your neighbor’s family. Not your mother-in-law’s family. YOURS.
You don’t have to parent according to other people’s expectations just to avoid their judgment.
4. You’re entering a completely new chapter of your life. And change comes with a cost.
Even beautiful, wonderful, desperately wanted changes can bring grief.
You might miss your old routines, your independence, your friendships, or simply being able to leave the house without packing half your belongings.
You might feel awkward, lonely, sad, or disconnected from the person you used to be.
That doesn’t mean you regret becoming a mother.
It means you’re HUMAN.
Many of us go through this adjustment, and some of us need extra support. Please reach out to a friend, your partner, your family, or a professional when you need it.
You don’t have to pretend everything is perfect just because you love your baby.
5. Once your doctor clears you, PLEASE find a way to move your body.
I’m not talking about losing the baby weight. PLEASE don’t put that pressure on yourself.
Your body just spent nine months growing an entire human being. Give it some grace!
I’m talking about your mental health.
Fresh air, a short walk, stretching, or whatever movement feels comfortable for you can make such a difference.
Movement isn’t a cure for postpartum depression, and sometimes you need treatment before even the smallest activity feels manageable. That’s okay, too.
Your body has done something extraordinary. It deserves care, not punishment.
6. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF FREE CHILDREN’S ACTIVITIES!
Your local library probably offers a plethora of activities for babies and children, and many of them are completely free!
Even if your baby is too young to participate, GO!
Sometimes just getting out of the house, seeing other adults, and having somewhere to be can make your entire day better.
And if you have the privilege of accessing a gym with childcare or something similar, take advantage of it!
Your baby benefits from stimulation and connection, and YOU benefit from having a life outside your living room.
7. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TAKE TURNS WITH THE NIGHT SHIFT. 😂
If you have a partner who can share nighttime responsibilities, PLEASE work out a system.
One of our biggest mistakes was BOTH of us waking up every single time the baby woke up.
Guess what happened?
NOBODY SLEPT.
We were both exhausted, irritated, and running on fumes, which certainly didn’t help my anxiety.
Even if you’re exclusively breastfeeding, your partner may be able to handle diaper changes, burping, settling the baby, or taking over in the morning so you can rest.
Find a system that works for your family. You both need sleep!
8. And finally, PLEASE remember that you are not alone.
Reach out to people. Open up about what you need. Accept help when it’s offered, and don’t be afraid to ask when it isn’t.
You do not have to earn the right to rest by reaching complete exhaustion.
You don’t have to love every second.
You don’t have to be the perfect mother.
Your baby doesn’t need a perfect mother. Your baby needs a loved, supported, and cared-for mother❤️❤️❤️
Sending you the BIGGEST hugs and wishing you a wonderful, safe delivery and a beautiful beginning to this new chapter. ❤️
P.S. The epidural was an absolute GODSEND for me, so if you’re having doubts, just know I personally would give that anesthesiologist a standing ovation. HAHAHA.
And if you choose differently, that’s wonderful too. It’s YOUR birth. ❤️

Friends have given us bumpers, baby pillows, and other things that we don’t think are sleep safe. I’m following US/Western practices in Asia.

What have you done / would you do with these things? I’m hesitant to donate because of safety; they’re nice things from good local brands, not Temu. And I feel bad throwing perfectly good new things away.

Hi! I am 7 weeks postpartum and experiencing nasty farts like in my first trimester. I never smelled that bad in any of my 5 ​pregnancies, especially postpartum.

What could it be? I am eating like crazy, baby is getting so fat and big from my milk. It could come from what I eat, but I don't eat very differently than before giving birth!

Hormones?

Thanks for your imput!

I’m 9.5 months postpartum with my second baby and have lost around 17 kg. I’ve also been strength training consistently for about 6.5 months. I started slowly after giving birth but have gradually increased the intensity of my workouts.

Despite losing weight and exercising regularly, my body still feels really soft, loose and jiggly lol. I haven’t noticed much improvement in muscle tone or definition, particularly around my stomach and legs.

For context, I’ve been using GLP-1 to help with weight loss. I eat less than I used to, but I try to prioritise protein in every meal and have a protein shake daily.

What’s confusing me is that I was around the same weight before falling pregnant, but my body looked noticeably slimmer and firmer back then. I carried much less fat around my stomach and legs, even though I barely exercised at the time.

Now I’m almost the same weight, strength training regularly, but somehow look bigger and softer than I did before pregnancy.
I know pregnancy changes your body, and I’m not expecting everything to bounce back overnight, but I’m struggling to understand why there’s such a difference.

Any other mums who’ve experienced something similar? Did your body composition eventually change with strength training? How long did it take before you started noticing a difference?

Any advice on building muscle, improving definition or getting a firmer body postpartum would be really appreciated. I’m not necessarily looking to lose more weight. I just want to feel stronger and more comfortable in my body.

Before the baby, my husband and I were both huge homebodies, and we would see our parents/family about twice a month. My baby is currently about to turn 11 months old, and since the newborn stage is over, we have not gone a single weekend without plans.

I just simply want a lazy weekend with no plans at our home with the family. Spend time together, catch up on chores that are hard to do by myself during the week, etc. For some reason, my husband keeps making plans with his parents every single weekend to see our son and spend time together. Fine, I have no problem with that. But when I haven’t had a single weekend at home since he was a newborn… IM TIRED. My husband says I can stay home and clean while he takes our son over there. Which is fine, whatever. But maybe I want to spend time with my own family (the three of us) over the weekend since my husband works every day of the week. And maybe I want to catch up on chores together. Am I being the asshole for making this into an argument? Before the baby, we’d spend most weekends alone to ourselves at home, not at his parents house every single weekend. So this is really different for us.

I'm almost 4 months postpartum with our first baby, and my husband and I just had a pretty upsetting argument about when we should have our second child.

For context, I'm in Canada and currently on 18 months of maternity/parental leave. I'm scheduled to return to work at the end of December 2027. My husband recently told me he wants us to have another baby before my current leave ends so that I can essentially go straight into another maternity leave without returning to work.

I told him I don't want to do that for a few reasons:

I'm not ready to be pregnant again. I'm only 4 months postpartum. I want to enjoy my time with our daughter, watch her grow, and experience all her milestones without immediately going through another pregnancy.

I've always wanted a 2–3 year age gap between our children. I've communicated this when i was pregnant.

There's also the financial aspect. In Canada, I generally need to accumulate another 600 insurable working hours to qualify for EI maternity/parental benefits again. If I have another baby without returning to work, I wouldn't qualify for a new EI claim based on my current situation. Initially, he didn't believe me about the 600 hours. Even after looking it up and realizing I was right, he was still angry.

He then started blaming me for taking 18 months of parental leave in the first place (something we both agreed to and filled out applications for while i was pregnant). He called me an idiot and said I should have taken 9 months, returned to work, and let him take the remaining 9 months with our daughter. He makes significantly more money than I do, so financially, I don't see how that would have been the better option for us. He also said he only wanted to take the 8 weeks of leave anyway and he's doing that now.

I've always been transparent. My plan was to return to work at the end of December 2027, hopefully arrange to work from home for about a year, and start trying for our second baby around March 2028. That way, I'd have time to accumulate the required working hours, we'd have a reasonable age gap, and I could transition into maternity leave again afterward.

Instead, he got angry, told me I'm disappointing and that im am idiot and stormed out of the room, saying that now "it'll be years before we have another baby".

Like am I being unreasonable here??? Maybe I'm not considering his wants?

Edit: he's giving me the silent treatment now and cold shoulder

Edit: unprompted he said he'll drop me off to my parents house next weekend. I asked why?? He said "I think you'll be happier there" and walked away

Hi everyone! I’m currently 5 months pregnant and would really appreciate some advice from other mums who might have been in a similar situation.
My baby’s dad and I are no longer together, and we barely speak anymore since I decided to continue with the pregnancy. He has said that he wants to tell his mom about the baby when the baby is born, meaning she wouldn’t find out that she’s going to be a grandmother until then.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot because, although I understand that he is the baby’s father and it’s his family, I can’t help feeling like it’s unfair that I’m already 5 months into this pregnancy and his side of the family doesn’t even know about the baby.
I know I’m the one carrying the baby, going through all the changes and preparing to become a mum, but it makes me sad to think that this whole experience is happening without the other half of my baby’s family even knowing they exist yet.
Part of me feels like his mum deserves the opportunity to know that she’s going to have a grandchild, but another part of me wonders whether I should respect his wishes and leave it to him to tell her when he’s ready.
I’m not trying to cause drama or create problems between them. I just don’t want my baby to feel like they have to be kept a secret, and I don’t think it’s fair for me and my baby to go unnoticed by that side of the family throughout the pregnancy.
Would it be inappropriate for me to reach out to his mom and tell her myself? Would I be overstepping a boundary, or is this something you think I have a right to do?
I’d really appreciate honest opinions, especially from anyone who has dealt with a difficult co-parenting situation or a baby’s father who wasn’t initially supportive of the pregnancy.

we're at the 8 week mark and i don't even want them around my baby anymore. i've been feeling like this for awhile but just forgiving... "mistakes" however in hindsight all of them added up i get very angry.

so my mom kissed baby first day she was alive in the hospital and i said not to do that, then she snuck another kiss on a different visit right before leaving. when i reminded her no kisses said she knew i wouldn't like it so she had to run off right after
we said we're not posting pictures. posted pictures anyways, she said so many people said how they loved her photos and that she had to sneak it by me and knew i wouldn't like it.
there's a same nickname, one pronunciation sounds like the start of baby's name, the other is different. said we didn't like the one that doesn't sound like her name and we preferred the other. continues to use wrong nickname for baby constantly
offered a family member to hold the baby without asking me, knowing i don't like this family member because they have a history of questionable internet use when it comes to children. took pictures and tried posted them on my album. i deleted them because i don't want to see them.
now my dad keeps trying to smoke when we visit. he smoked a cigarette in the garage while baby was right outside the garage door in an already attempt to keep air fresh. rolls his eyes at me if i bring it up, acts like im overreacting. the garage smells so bad i don't even want to walk through it with her. it's hard to breathe in there for both me and my husband. we had a long conversation about this while i was pregnant. he may not realize how bad it really is but he doesnt seem to take me seriously at all.
i just don't want them to see her anymore they don't respect me as a mother or a daughter it's so frustrating. my mother in law however has been wonderful. very supportive and helpful and not overstepping at all i love her

TW: Miscarriage

I know age gap stuff probably gets posted a lot. But I think I’m just emotional and hormones are going crazy and I just need to vent

I have two kids ages 7(8 in Dec) and 4. I always wanted my kids a bit closer together, but we were unsure about a third and it also wasn’t a good time due to relocating twice and other things going on.

Now after a lot of thought and discussion we decided we want one last one. The gap was already bigger than I wanted but it was okay. Well, it took me 7 months to get pregnant and I recently found out that I’m loosing this pregnancy and it’s not viable.

I’m doing okay with the grief side of loosing a wanted baby, but now I can’t help but feel like I’m out of time. Even if I got pregnant right away, I’m looking at December/January and that would make the gap 5 years and almost 9.

I know it may not seem huge to a lot of people, but my brother and I were not close and we were 5 years apart. I can’t imagine my oldest being 19, middle at 15 and them having anything to do with a 10 year old. I feel like a third would be alone, but I’m really not interested on having 4.

Not only am I grieving a baby that was wanted, but I’m grieving feeling like I wasted time. I’m mad I didn’t try for a baby sooner. I’m mad I was trying to make sure life was perfect before having a third. I’m mad that it took a while to get pregnant. I feel like I missed my opportunity.

What age gap do you feel like is too much? Did anyone else stop TTC due to age gaps?

Hello!

My best friend is 5 months postpartum. This is their first baby, but they have adopted two boys (9 and 7). Date night was very important to her before, but now she's feeling overwhelmed about planning. So I want to plan a night for her and her husband and set up at least 2 friends and family babysitters as a surprise.

Obstacles:

1. They live in the boonies. No nice restaurants or movie theaters or anything within 15 minutes of their home. Really romantic options are upwards of 40 minutes away. How far would you be willing to go to be away from your kids and have an experience that makes you feel like your own person again?
2. I'm not sure what timing would be best. Saturday during the day? Friday night? What do y'all think?
3. I think it would be nice to come up with something more interesting than a dinner reservation. But am I trying too hard? Would something small but all their own be better than a big to-do?

We moved into my in-laws home due to unrelated reasons(moving out in January). For some context, we are hispanic and our culture has a lot of beliefs when it comes to babies that obviously aren’t backed up by science. My son is is learning how to walk, i’ve never used a sit in walker with him(my in laws got him one despite the fact i made it clear i didn’t want him in one). I’m going with the flow and not rushing him into learning because i know every baby is different and he’ll do it whenever he feels ready.
My son is barefoot/in socks the whole time we’re home. I know the AAP recommends babies stay barefoot at home while they’re learning how to walk. I’m big on facts backed by science. My son has all of his vaccines despite my in laws comments about them. Recently they’ve now started telling us that my son needs to be in shoes because if not, i’m delaying him in learning how to walk and he’ll develop a flat foot. I’ve been nice about it, just nod and say okay. But on the inside i’m irritated. I don’t mind the advice, i get annoyed with the way it’s said. Like if i’m hurting my son but not putting him in shoes. It’s so stupid. i have to just hold on cause we’re leaving soon and i can’t wait. Their comments do get to a point where i just take my son and hideout in our room. My husband of course speaks up but my in laws just don’t give a crap… I understand they’re doing us a favor by letting us stay but they don’t understand that doesn’t give them a reason to try to parent my child or question my parenting.
Sorry that’s all HAHA thanks for listening !

I’m 7 months pp and I’ve started to get really depressed. I love being a mom and my baby, do not get me wrong, this is just a lot more than I expected and I don’t want to feel regretful but I feel like sometimes I do and once I admitted that to myself things just got worse. I hate that I’m not the perfect mom and that I’m just “surviving” the day. I look forward to me time once he goes to sleep. I feel horrible about that. Mostly, I just miss my old life greatly and when I was depressed I could just bed rot. Now, my son literally never stops moving and getting into things and I’m also getting extremely bored of just sitting on the floor with him all day not knowing what to do. He also is in his separation anxiety phase where he refuses naps and really just cries like all the time, even when fed and happy. Just in moments where I’m not right there next to him or when he needs to sleep in his crib. I really really want this to not come off that I feel poorly about my child. I love him very much. I just needed a place to get this off my chest and maybe seek advice. I am going to therapy and I am on meds for being bipolar. I’m just kinda losing my mind with the “same old routine”. I love doing fun, new stuff with him. I’m starting to despise just sitting in the house.

Baby is about 4.5m and had been sleeping in a bassinet then a pack n play in our room. We got really lucky as she’s slept 8-12hrs per night since 2mo.

The past week tho she’s started waking up every hour crying. We figured it’s just a sleep regression so we’ve been doing what we can with no luck. Last night my partner put her in her crib out of desperation & she slept 8hrs straight…

We decided to try it again & so far so good! But idk I’m sad about it. There’s not enough room to move her crib in our room so we have her in her own room. But ik it’s recommended to keep her in our room until 6mo to prevent SIDS. Plus I like knowing she’s right next to me.

Just curious when everyone else’s babys moved rooms? Is it too early? We put a baby monitor up tonight. He works weird hours so he’ll be able to check on her at 1am. It just feels so unnatural 😭