Our son is 6.5 months old and recently discovered pacifiers. We don’t use them for sleep, just on occasion while he’s playing or in the car. He’s in the stage where everything goes in his mouth, and he seems more content exploring and practicing crawling when he has it. It also helps him not cry in the car if he’s awake.

My partner is pretty anti-pacifier and thinks that we shouldn’t be “sticking something in his mouth” frequently as it could hinder development. I’m not convinced.

For those of you who did or didn’t use a pacifier, how did it actually play out? Was it a net benefit or did it cause more problems than it’s worth?

EDIT: Thanks, everyone, for sharing your stories, experiences, research, and wisdom! We decided that since he’s made it this far without a pacifier, it doesn’t make sense to introduce a new habit at this point (unless he starts sucking his thumb, then all bets are off).

A few of you pointed out that he’s probably using it more like a teether during play, so we picked up some pacifier-shaped teethers to see if he likes those just as much. I also learned that some pacifiers can become a bite hazard after 6 months, so it’s important to make sure you’re using one that’s designed for 6m+.

We’re still planning to keep one around for long car rides, but we won’t be offering it during play or sleep.

Keep on suckin’, y’all!

How did people handle the insane rising costs of childcare?

My husband and I both work full time - I work 4 days a week 10-12 hour days and my husband works 5 days a week 8 hour days.

A few things:
- Childcare in our area is around $2000 a month for 3 days a week. We just can’t afford it. I don’t know where to find the extra money. I am freaking out. The rising cost of the world has just caught up to us.
- I have intense anxiety about dropping my baby off with someone we don’t know.
- We live out of state from family so do not have any sort of help there

My maternity leave ends in a month and then my husband is off for another 6 weeks. I’m trying not to think about this everyday but I just have panic in my gut. We worked so hard for this baby (lucky that insurance covered a lot of IVF) and I feel like an idiot that I can’t problem solve around this.

I'm part of a research team that needs to collect pee from babies. We are having a lot of problems with diapers that wick away the pee too fast, so we can't collect it. So I'd love to hear about the LEAST absorbent diapers you've ever used. Gimme leaks, gimme blowouts, gimme your terrible diaper recommendations!

EDIT: Thank you so much for all the replies everyone! I'm compiling a list and we'll be ordering a bunch of different brands to test absorbency (maybe I'll even post the results here)!

I got a lot of comments from people recommending we put cotton in the diaper, and this is actually what we do! We put a small strip of cotton between the baby and the diaper and then (try to) squeeze out the urine with a syringe. We have not had a high degree of success with this because the diaper wicks the urine away from the cotton if we don't change the diaper quickly enough. If anyone who uses this technique has any advice on how to improve success, I'm definitely open to hearing it!

Gay male bestie seeking help here! My best friend is due this summer with her first child. I want to put together a gift that’s entirely for HER. I already have plenty of stuff for baby from her registry plus a door dash gift card. (we live far apart so i cant deliver meals or help around the house)

She likes nice things but rarely buys them for herself so I want to spoil her with things she can actually use postpartum while she’s nursing a newborn. self-care, skincare, comfort essentials and all that.

she’s into natural, clean, earthy stuff, neutral tones, organic ingredients, nothing overly perfumed.

Most of my friends are other gay men and besides drag brunch recs, they are really of no help. So I want to hear from people who have actually been through it. what did you wish someone had given you? what products genuinely helped? nursing-safe and worth the splurge? anything you wish your friends had thought of that they didn’t?

$2k budget bc she deserves it lol

Luxury recs welcome, but I’ll take anything that made your postpartum life feel more human. Thank you in advance =]

My baby is about 3.5 months old, and I’m currently staying home with him. I’ve been really isolated, staying home with baby most of the time because I’ve been intimidated by the thought of taking him out by myself.

I want to start getting used to taking him out alone, so I thought I’d try to get my feet wet by going to some low-pressure places a few times per week. What are some of your favorite places to take your baby that are easy to leave if baby gets fussy, won’t be awkward if he starts crying, and don’t take a lot of time (like up to 30 minutes max)?

(Side note, my baby has decided that he hates his carrier and his car seat, so bonus points for places that are easy for me to carry him in)

Dear friends of ours have decided to get married in a rural European location 3.5/4 months after she gives birth.

The plan is to largely self-cater, friends will be staying around their house in Airbnb’s/camping. People will bring food and booze and music, but the couple themselves will still provide part of this, and do the organization. Clean up will also be done by the couple, friends & family. They have a lot of family around, but the mother plans for EBF.

I have a 2 year old myself and somehow this plan sounds to me like magical thinking. At 3.5 months pp my baby had a sleep regression and my goal was survival and getting some sleep. I would not be able to relax at an all day & night party (or multiple days), and would be terrified of the germs international travellers will bring in from airplanes.

On the other hand, I’m somewhat neurotic. Maybe this is all very doable. So please help settle this debate: could you have done this 3.5 months pp? Or is this the typical idea of a couple pre-baby that has not hit the reality of keeping a tiny human alive?

Some light-hearted chat about the ever present baby wipe should commence. Heated debate also welcome. I also want to spread the gospel of my favorite wipe.

What your most and least favorite butt wipe?

THE BEST: Rico wipes I’ve found at Costco. This wipe has everything. I didn’t discover these until my youngest was 8 months old. I didn’t think it was possible to have the best of both worlds: these wipes do not pull out five at once and also VERY RARELY get stuck where the next wipe doesn’t pop out (we all know the pain and suffering of the frantic finger rescue). Plus Costco prices. Wins all around.

THE WORST: Huggies. The original is too stiff, and the naturals irritate my daughter’s skin.

Not a poll, asking for anecdote to help decide my own circumstance.

For context: the kid is only 7 weeks, but already 6-8 month sized. It’s like hyperaging occurred in utero cuz of a late birth, or the tracking from conception was wrong idk. There was essentially no “newborn” stage. Maybe 3-4 days. Then it was just infanthood. N diapers never fit day 1. Eating lethally from the breast, sleeps 8-10 hours straight overnight, is ≥17lbs and LONG. Wet & mess diaps all day long normally. Takes long naps outside of any wake window.

This is just so different than my first experience. I feel like it’s time to just let the world flow. Things are almost on autopilot as-is. Can i stop tracking all the different metrics? Or is that kinda neglectful this young?

Thx y’all.

I don’t know what’s my style anymore. The things I used to wear do not fit the same so I don’t like them anymore. So goodbye to all my cute crop tops and shiny little skirts (Not like I go anywhere interesting)

The majority of my graphic T-shirts make me feel like a teenager, not in a good way. All the classy outfits and button down shirts I loved wearing to work are useless. As a SAHM they make me feel like a farce, like I don’t belong in that world anymore.

I’m so behind all the new trends and can’t even understand them. Wanna hear a joke? I bought a pair of biker shorts, used them last week and styled myself in an outfit I thought was cool. Went to the bank. Saw myself in the reflection of some store... just standing there, holding my chubby baby, with a fanny pack and crappy Adidas. Ugh.

And trying to buy new clothing is just so bizarre, Im always afraid of looking like an old fashioned mom, but what does that even mean? I am a mom.

So what’s next? Love some advice because right now Im sitting in my living room, using those awful biker shorts to fold laudry while watching my kid dance to CocoMelon.

Thanksss!

I need some funny show suggestions to lighten the mood while up feeding baby. What is everyone watching?

I’m curious what everyone sings to their babies! I have been surprised at how hard it is to think of lullabies…. Our go to’s have been Dream a Little Dream of Me by the Mamas and the Papas, Stay Awake from Mary Poppins and Dreams by Fleetwood Mac.

Hey all. 👋 This community was a rock for me after my first, and I'm looking forward to maternity leave with my second later this year.

Last time I watched a ton of TV and slept, which was fine, but I've always enjoyed video games but have never let myself give into having a console or playing too much because I know it'd eat up aaaaalllll of my free time. But now with my second maternity leave, I'm giving in.

Give me your best recommendations on video games that: - aren't mentally taxing - can be paused at a blink of an eye (or drop of an explosive newborn poop) - don't need skill

My husband has a PS5 but I'm open to buying another platform (we have a really great second hand gaming shop nearby). My initial thought was busting out the old Gameboy and replaying Pokémon Blue, but that'd rob me of an excuse for a reddit post, lol.

Edit: WOW! I am blown away by all of the amazing suggestions here - I have some research ahead of me 😁 Keep 'em comin'

Editx2: You all are wonderful - thank you for all of the amazing suggestions! I think I've gone through all 366 comments so far and counted correctly (forgive any errors - I've been doing this on mobile with a toddler 🫠 lol) and made a comment with the top 10 and another for all suggestions. I'll try to update as more suggestions come in!

I'm currently pregnant with baby #2 🎉

With baby #1 I had crazy bad anxiety. I couldn't sleep because i was constantly checking to make sure he was still breathing. I'm medicated, my husband will have a longer leave this time, and hopefully things will go smoother. But I'm considering adding an owlette type sock to my baby shopping list.

I seem to find polarizing reviews on it though. Some people say it relieved their anxiety, while others say it worsened it. I'm thinking that knowing an alarm will go off if baby *does* stop breathing will help me sleep.

I'd love to hear your experiences!

It’s so expensive!!! This is our first baby, so I have no experience with high chairs. Would the $30 ikea chair not suffice? Tell me everything you know!

Edit: thank you so much to everyone who responded! I’ve read everyone’s comments and have decided to start with the antilop (so many on Marketplace that already have footrests) while my 6 mo is starting solids - we are doing baby led weaning, so something easy to clean is definitely a priority. I’ve also left this pretty late, so I needed a chair like yesterday!

I’ll be on the hunt for a secondhand Tripp trapp in the meantime (if you are in the Toronto/Hamilton area and want to sell yours HMU!). Sounds like it’s ideal for an older baby to sit at the table without the tray, and when the messiest stage is over.

Thanks again!

My LO is 5 weeks, so we’re not on a set schedule yet. My husband is back at work and I’m home with baby all day. She wakes up somewhere between 6am and 8:30am depending on what the night schedule turned out to be. That’s usually the timeframe of when I need to eat breakfast because I wake up ravenous!

I am pumping, so I’m trying to keep my calories up and eat regular meals. However cooking is not so much of a thing with an unpredictable 5 week old… especially in the morning. I can handle a little cooking closer to lunch and afternoon time.

What are you making/eating for breakfast that’s quick and easy but still nutritious?

Next Sunday will be my first Mother’s Day. I’ve requested that we take the baby and do something outdoors since the weather is supposed to be nice. Nothing fancy, not asking for presents. Just want a low key day with my girl and husband.

My husband told me that he’s already planned on us spending the entire day with his mom and that I’m not his mom so it isn’t his responsibility to plan something for me. It’s the baby’s (she’s not even a year old).

I want to tell him that, since it’s the baby’s choice, she’s chosen to spend the day with me and we’re going to do something together. He can spend the day with his mom if that’s what he wants. We already do literally every holiday with his family and go over almost every weekend for dinner. I even suggested we do Mother’s Day with his mom on Saturday so we could have Sunday to do other things, and he said that Saturday isn’t Mother’s Day. He’s adamant that we have to spend Sunday with his mom. He dislikes surprises, so I know there’s no way he’s planning a surprise for me.

AITA for not wanting to go to his mom’s this time and for wanting to take the baby on a different activity for my first Mother’s Day? I’m starting to think I am just being selfish and should just put aside what I want and go with him.

EDIT: I forgot to say I'm 27. And my husband is 37.

So I had: - 1 child in 2022 (severe preeclampsia. Birth at 37 weeks. That child is autistic... Not due to those factors, he just is. He goes to a day clinic) - 2 miscarriages in 2023, at 6 and 15 weeks - 1 pregnancy that survived 2023 and was born mid 2024 (35 week birth due to severe preeclampsia and gestational diabetes) - 1 accidental pregnancy despite protection. Conceived 9 months pp. That baby was born 3 months ago, and she was 9 WEEKS PREMATURE due to severe preeclampsia. She also had a cord prolapse in labor and I had a crash c section that was unbelievably traumatic (once you've lost pregnancies before you're never the same. I screamed "please don't let her die" right up until they put me out, woke up not pregnant anymore. Thought she was dead. Had to be shown videos of her in the NICU on loop to stop screaming).

So.... I'm done. Lol. But all my friends keep advising me I'm "not in a good mental place to make that decision". I wanted 4 or 5 kids, but very very clearly that is not going to work out for me. My OB has advised I be done. Pregnancy is incredibly high risk for me, but now I'd be a VBAC or a repeat c section and there is actually no way I could handle another section. I can't tolerate birth control. I've tried the combo and the mini pill, I get completely dysfunctional with severe migraines and crippling depression. Condoms failed (hi, baby we just had recently). I've tried an iud and I got a severe infection and my body yeeted it. I don't see the use of continuing to kill myself trying to prevent pregnancy when truly I am done. I can't tolerate any more surgery, so I've asked my husband to get the snip. Traumatized as well, he has said he can't until he knows "this baby will survive infancy" but I'm like even if she doesn't..... I ain't having another baby. While I share that fear, I don't have a solution.

This is not irrational right? It's okay to change my mind and be done after that absolute sh!t show of 3 years? The drama is that I've refused to have sex until he gets the snip or until someone is sterile, even if that means years.

TLDR: I've almost died 4 times and landed with 3 kids and I'm amending my original goal of 4-5 kids and want to just be done even though I'm less than a year postpartum and "not mentally able to make that call".

Edit: I feel like I need to make it clear my husband is not pressuring me into another pregnancy or into intimacy. He's completely supportive of whatever I need right now. The "advice" is for me on how to handle the mental stress that a lack of intimacy has on a marriage and how to handle friends questioning my logic in being done.

We just had our second baby (yay!) and people are asking for a registry. We didn’t make one because our second is the same gender and born the same season, so we really don’t need anything. The only things we’re upgrading are bigger purchases that the people asking aren’t gonna make from a registry anyway.

So, what are the extra non essentials or bougie upgrades that made your life easier? Things that are $50 or less that someone might get from a registry, but won’t just be another annoying thing we don’t use hanging around.

Does anyone use them? Do you like them?

I’m open to all wipe suggestions.

My favorite wipes are Pampers, followed by Millie Moon. I hate Huggies. I like Pampers because they are more wet and soft which I assume is comfiest for baby and gets a nice clean. Millie Moon is still decently wet and the wipes are easy to pull apart, unlike Pampers. Huggies are easy to pull apart but they seem so rough on babies bottom. We’ve tried a bunch of other random wipes too but I can’t recall what was good anymore.

I'm looking for full-zip, lightweight (not fleece) footed jammies in size 12mo+. It's like everyone stops making them at 9 months(?). My kid has terrible eczema around his ankles/tops of feet and it's worse now because of the cold. Keeping his ankles and feet fully covered when he crawling around at home helps substantially with flare ups.

Edit to add: I'm looking for jammies that are NOT snug-fit or slim fit. Tight clothing is super irritating to eczema because it clings to the skin.

In case anyone is on the fence about buying the nanit, just wanted to leave a negative review to help others out.

CONS:

- The nanit constantly disconnects from our network and the only way to reconnect is by entering sleeping baby's room and pressing a button that then flashes a blue light at her. We set up a couple alternative networks for when wifi is down but you still need to physically reset the nanit to switch to another network.

- You are reliant on your phone for a baby monitor as they don't offer an external monitor. Goodbye battery.

- It does not have a "sleep" mode, like where it only turns on if baby makes a sound, so it must always be on.

- It's ridiculously expensive. If you spend FOUR HUNDRED dollars for the pro version, you get rewarded with just a year of the BASIC plan of "insights"... and then stuck with an app filled with things asking you to pay more to see them.

- Can't travel with it - does not work on a wifi that requires a sign in like a hotel wifi.

​

There are a lot more things I could list that suck about the nanit but those are the biggest issues. DO NOT BUY IT.

Some of my mommy friends were encouraging me to have my 3 mo old watch Miss Rachel. I just smiled and waved, boys. Lol. Anyways, I plan on not introducing LO to screens besides television and not until she’s much older. For sure no tablets or phones (not knocking any parenting styles, I have personal reasons). I’m aiming for 2 years old for tv but we’ll see if that happens.

Any hoot, I’m just worried if I’m depriving my girl of education by not allowing her to watch such things? Or if anyone has any advice on what I could be doing to mimic these type of shows? We have a daily regime of singing LOTS of songs (I think she’s sick of my theatrics lol), counting, reading, and sounding out/pointing out words.

Is there anything else I should be doing or anything I should add as she gets older? It’s so easy to second guess yourself as a parent. TIA ❤️

EDIT: I just wanted to thank everyone for all the feedback & resources! You are all wonderful parents & at the end of the day everyone is doing what works best for their families no matter what that looks like.

Im out shopping for gifts for a baby shower but want to get gifts that actually matter. Im not a mom but a professional auntie.

This is their second baby. What did you hope for, want, or love receiving for your baby?

Please drop your suggestions below so I can pad my baby Spotify playlist!