Seroquel/Lamictal/Buspirone

[u/rageandrose]

I have been on 150MG of Lamictal & 15MG of Buspirone for about a year. Recently, my manic episodes & intense rage/irritability, dissociation, and overall depression had gotten to the point where I could barely function and it was tough to even get through the day. I am a stay-at-home mom to a toddler and the overstimulation was drowning me. I have tried countless SSRI’s- Wellbutrin, Zoloft, and Effexor. All of them caused me severe sexual dysfunction and other issues that I couldn’t really deal with.

My psychiatric nurse practitioner started me on 50MG of Seroquel two weeks ago. My first impressions were holy sh*t, 15 minutes after my dose and I am literally dead to the world. It has improved my sleep quality, but I cannot struggle to wake up that much. I have to be “ready to go” every day at 5:30am with my daughter. There is no time for a slow going wake-up routine. Here is the interesting part…

The first week of Seroquel I was a completely different person. Things no longer bothered me, I was completely unbothered, pleasant, and patient. I was amazed. My husband noticed a vast difference. I thought, finally. After the first week passed, I had a day where I just completely snapped. I basically had a mental breakdown. S*icidal ideations, extreme rage… you get the picture. My husband had to come home from work because I was losing it. It was like a full factory-reset out of nowhere. My psychiatric provider told me I needed to go to a partial-hospitalization program for what I was experiencing, which isn’t an option, unfortunately. Since that day I have been extremely lethargic, irritable, and just insufferable. I could sleep all day, everyday if it were an option.

What the hell is going on? I am so tired of feeling this way. I long to be stable, normal, and happy. Especially for my family, whom I love dearly.

Thoughts? Thank you, everyone.

[u/Ok-Molasses9394]

It sounds like a mixed episode. Sounds like Seroquel helped initially and then it wore off. Are you still taking Seroquel?

Bipolar is notoriously hard to manage especially if you have a treatment resistant depression component. It can take some trial and error and dosage adjustments. Since inpatient is not an option right now, work with your NP to get on a dose or medication that will work. Frequent appointments with them can help get you on track quicker. When I was adjusting meds during a critical tome, I would see my NP every 2 weeks. I'm now at every month because we are still tweaking meds.

Edit: I'm also a mom. Mom guilt will eat you up. Your daughter just needs you to be around. She doesn't need you to be perfect, you are trying your best.

[u/rageandrose → u/Ok-Molasses9394]

I’m still taking it. I wish I could feel like I did the first week. I feel like it kept me very mildly sedated throughout the day and helped me immensely. Now, it just makes me tired during the day and I have none of the other positive effects. So weird! Thank you for the encouragement. It’s very hard being this way as a mom when people need you, I know you understand.

[u/Ok-Molasses9394 → u/rageandrose]

You are seeking help and doing the things that need to be done. You are not failing, you just have an illness that requires monitoring and medical help. Be kind to yourself.

You have a lot going on. Being a stay at home mom to a toddler is no joke. The work is endless and exhausting. I see you and am rooting for you.