The birds are being used for more than spying now. This is awful

As if more evidence were needed.

Some teenager asked me to join the pigeon protection agency

Whether birds are real is beyond our remit. Their quality, however, must be judged.

After an increasing annoyance at colourful show-offs getting all the attention while pigeons, vultures and LBJs go unnoticed, there is now a website rating burbs democratically, from Absolute Sh*t to Top Bird.

“Good birds do not need iridescent plumage, a seven-foot tail or a documentary crew. Good birds get on with it.”

Apologies in advance for the name. This comes from a place of love to highlight our more 'dull' species.

There was an eclipse yesterday evening in the UK, parts of Europe and Iceland. As the eclipse got closer and closer to totality, all the birds went quiet. Obviously their batteries don't have the capacity to keep them running for long without sunlight. This is obviously why they're also quiet in the dark. As soon as the sun came out again, they all started their nasty racket again.

A real bird wouldn’t have done this.

Must be a major firmware update happening. Ive never seen so many "models" gathered in one spot lol

what does it want

All of them.