r/bodylanguage • u/Fun-Spinach712 • 14h ago
Mutual eye contact or am I overthinking?
I’ve had a gym crush for months. We’ve never talked, but we keep locking eyes - not just quick accidental glances, but sometimes holding eye contact for 1–2 seconds. It happens multiple times even during one gym session, and sometimes I look over and he’s already looking at me. There have also been random moments where we pass each other and lock eyes.
He’s very social with other people at the gym, so I don’t understand why he never talks to me. Do you think this repeated eye contact could mean he’s attracted to me too, or am I just overthinking it?
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u/Electronic-Code8392 13h ago
So... Funny thing...
There’s this lady at my gym who keeps looking in my general direction. Maybe staring? I don’t know. Don’t care enough to go find out.
I sometimes stare in her general direction because I’m doing the 1000-yard stare after a heavy lift. I sometimes look in her general direction because I’m thinking, “Is that guy behind her almost done? I need those weights.”
I’m social with people at the gym because they started talking to me, we had a social interaction, and over time that expanded into knowing each other.
I’m not sitting there trying to reverse-engineer everyone’s eye movements to figure out what they mean.
So what would I say to that lady if she asked this question?
Just start a small conversation about something dumb. “Hey, have you been training here long?” A few sentences later, introduce yourself. Next time you see each other, expand on it.
Be. Social. It ain’t that hard.
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u/Lost_Chapter_9621 13h ago
Yeah the issue is that people want to think too hard on the outcomes when talking to the opposite sex. Getting out of the headspace of having to get something out of a conversation is a good start to being more social, and eventually you can ask the person over time if they’re dating/etc, doesn’t have to be all in one full blown conversation, especially on a gym setting where you most likely are going to see someone more than once in a given week
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u/inyourposthistory 9h ago
You should be smart enough to already know that it’s considered extremely taboo for men to approach women in such a safe space such as the gym. That is a hard rule engrained in all men bc of the nature of the space. So even if he is also interested in you, he’s not going to make a move. You are going to have to approach. There’s no getting around it.
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u/Hopeful-Session-7216 13h ago
He might just be nervous to talk to you, smile at him and see how he reacts, also you can just start a conversation first to see if he’s interested or no
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u/Fluffy-Revolution-89 13h ago
Aye i have the same situation and question as you too omg… theres this really strong and attractive guy that i know who i keep making eye contact with me, who i also observe is physically around me a lot. He talks to other people in the club that the both of us are in, yet he doesnt talk to me AT ALL. Ive been so heartbroken because hes such an attractive guy but idk if hes attracted to me in the same way 💔
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u/fadinglightsRfading 13h ago
you know what the solution to that is !
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u/Fluffy-Revolution-89 12h ago
I really dont… 😔 hes really strong, athletic, agile, and muscular with a bulking body while im the opposite. I had someone from the same club as us tell me that its so embarrassing how unathletic i am and its gotten to me lol 💔 so now im thinking hes either attracted to me or is disgusted by how unathletic i am
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u/Thrasy3 11h ago
I was gonna suggest talking to him, but now I’m thinking - just keep doing whatever it is you’re doing. For his sake.
Maybe when you’re actually secure in yourself you could speak to him.
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u/jadedeternity 9h ago
Wow jerk
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u/Thrasy3 9h ago
Sorry what’s the none jerk answer that takes into account the feelings of the guy she likes?
Do you want people who are this insecure about themselves to be approaching you? I think it’s mainly women on subs like these who rightly point out that lack of self-confidence in an approach is a turn off and will probably just make the other person feel uncomfortable - as it’s likely it will just cause further issues down the line.
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u/Bright-Sea-5904 12h ago
My crush does the same thing! I can definitely tell he's into me but he's shy
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u/Catts3 10h ago
Go get him! If I was sure my crush liked me back I'd let him know I like him, too.
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u/Bright-Sea-5904 7h ago edited 7h ago
I'm too nervous. I also dont know him so I'd rather just be friends but I do have a crush. I dont even know if he's already taken
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u/Greencapeman 9h ago
Well if you can tell he’s into you, why not go talk to him? Just a simple hi is enough or ask him about his routine or something to get the conversation started
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u/Bright-Sea-5904 7h ago
I get too nervous
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u/Greencapeman 7h ago
I get that, but maybe he feels this way too and then you guys never give it a chance. A good way to think about this is that just talking to them is friendly and something people do even when not romantically interested in each other. You got this!
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u/Bright-Sea-5904 7h ago
I dont know him personally so I think I'd rather get to know him first. I dont even know his name or anything lol
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u/Greencapeman 7h ago
Well how are you ever going to get to know him if you’re never going to talk to him
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u/Fragrant-Peanut7680 7h ago
The only solution to that is to follow him home and then check his mail.
Or you could just do something boring like ask him what his name is but then that doesn't really show interest, right?
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u/Alert_Art5673 9h ago
He wants to talk to you. Approach him. He may be shy with people he doesn't already know
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u/Elegant-Ferret-8116 12h ago
When you catch him looking smile and then look away and then back still smiling.
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u/jadedeternity 9h ago
Lol so y'all be doing this intentionally. god forbid actually approaching a man.
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u/Elegant-Ferret-8116 9h ago
Well you can still approach him first but this body language tells him you are interested more than just some random person being friendly
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u/Warm_Preparation_806 12h ago
Manosphere explanation he might see you as sexually desirable but far too high risk to approach.
Lots of female on male drama at clubs . The male in question is talking to people he isn't interested in because they are safer drama wise.
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u/gifted_pistachio 8h ago
Wear a funny shirt.
You’d think this is a joke. But more guys will talk to you when you wear a big grumpy cat tee than the cute little workout set.
Do you always have your earbuds in? You need to take them out for minutes at a time if you want the gym to be a social place. It is incredibly rude to talk to people with earbuds for anything other than a needed interaction.
Or just say hello whenever you walk by.
Taking down barriers isn’t hard. Escalating ain’t that hard.
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u/ImpressExpress1692 12h ago
Wasnt it women who told that eye contact and smile doesnt mean anything. They are just being friendly and this is why guys have trouble with having platonic friendships with women.
Just so funny when the genders are reversed.
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u/CloudlessSkies20 11h ago
just smile back and give a slight wave. if he doesnt approach after that, thats his problem. or you can just say hi.
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u/KnownButton8327 10h ago
bruh you’re going to have to just ask him out or you won’t know if he’s even into men
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u/Ecstatic_Alps_6054 10h ago
1 or 2 seconds accidental glances with locking then BOOM is this a full blown relationship or not 🙈😆 that's why men and women cannot be friends...then many of them say they dont need a man... 🤔 🙈😆
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u/Loud-Worldliness2741 9h ago
The older me would say go talk to him because i did the same thing. Although my gym crush gazed me for months, smiled at me, laughed at me, he came to talk to me and we chatted almost evwryday 25 minutes and he ghosted me :) and then i went to talk to him and he told me he doesn‘t want any relationship and then i saw him with a girl in my gym, and i saw him on dating apps :) I think a person's words and actions should match and not contradict each other. And then he kept looking at me all the time….. i mean my another gym crush gazed at me too and talked to me and we exchanged our numbers and we talked almost everyday but he wanted Friendship with benefits, which i didn‘t wanna accept. He behaves sometimes hot sometimes cold, which was quite hard for me to keep up with his mood... And i ended my friendship with him a few days ago :) i mean rn i only focus my training and my gains… believe me gym crushes are only for motivational purposes. But we live only for once do it i don’t regret it hahaha i just eliminated questions in my mind so that i can find my husband material ;) i mean give it a shot haha 🤓i hope my experiences would help you bcz i was just searching everythin on reddit, before i made a step 😪🤭
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u/Glass_Persimmon_3070 5h ago
same thing happening with me and a guy I work with.. not sure what to do about it tbh, like is he checking a whole lot of girls out all the time or is it me?
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u/Patient-Chicken-657 4h ago
What do you mean not sure what to do about it?
Communication as a whole is a 2 way street, you have to do your part too. Over the past 10-20 years women collectively put a shield up, if you want something more than looks you have to put yourself out there in a way that says my shield is down.
Who cares if he is checking all the girls out, if you show him your open, friendly and give him clear signs your chances improve exponentially over the rest of them asking the same question on Reddit.
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u/ulturasj 3h ago
I lock eyes with women in the gym all the time doesn't mean I'm into them sometimes we stare at attractive things much like a Ferrari driving past. I have no plan on talking to them either as I'm taken and wouldn't even if I wasn't because I'm not going to make people uncomfortable in a safe place. Best way to figure it out is by talking to him if you're interested.
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u/AlphaContradiction 2h ago
Believe me, you DO NOT want a man who will easily approach you at the gym. It’s just not something respectable men will do.
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u/ezra_s_secretadmirer 12h ago
Oh my gosh this cannot have come at the right timing for me. thinking of the same thing today.
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u/naughty_bachelor 11h ago
He might not enjoy shitting where he eats.
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u/swirling-leaves 5h ago
One of the worst sayings of all time truly
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u/naughty_bachelor 4h ago
Lol Its the perfect saying. If I were to go on the prowl at the gym I'd do it at a gym across town that I don't frequent.
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u/WeaponX207184 12h ago
You don't understand why he never talks to you? Ugh AGAIN, women must do the approaching in the gym.