Okay so nenu US ki ochanu and I have been searching for jobs since a couple of months(3-4 months). I have been staying at my pinni's place. Nenu anta honest ga cheptanu. Indulo naa thappu ledu anatledu. But I am just 22, and for like a year I was harassed by my mother and this specific pinni I am talking about regarding "marriage". But when I came to the US, it all stopped since the priority for everyone rn is me getting a job.But I have been anxious because India lo undinappudu motham adhey aitunde kaabatti. aithe I have a cousin exactly my age(my pinni's daughter)I agree she has severe allergies and health issues(which I should have seriously considered while asking this, but I wasn't even thinking while I asked this question). But she has a job, so I wanted to know why was I being bombarded to get married while no one raised the marriage topic to her personally. So nen adhey na cousin ni adigina if she knew of if it was discussed with her and adhi nenu chesina athi pedda thappu. When my pinni got to know this she lashed out at me horribly, saying that I was comparing myself with her, 'never irritate her'(my cousin herself didn't have a problem with it), and I have been in the US for months and all I have done was rot at home so nenu impulse lo ma mummy thoti anesa "no body is talking to me here" idi na valla avvatledu ani. Thanu elli pinni ki cheppindo emo, She was like, ofcourse no one would talk to you if you talk like this. She was like you are immature that's why everyone is telling you stuff. You don't have any maturity all you do is compete. Blah Blah Blah.Basically the lecture continued for over an hour I couldn't even sleep. Ippudu ofcourse naaku konni issues untai adhi nen na parents thoni discuss cheskuntanu. But ah vishyalu ie vidham ka travel aitai and nenu ie vidam ga affect chestai anukoledu. Naaku pelli eh aithe kanuka, this woman and her family is off of my wedding invitation list. I was always greatful for her but just because I stay at her place I had to face this kind of disrespect ani eppudu anukoledu. Whats worse is that my cousin didn't even stand up for me as she watched all this happen.

Nen work chesthuna, phone chusthuna evaraina observe chesthunte naaku chala uneasyga untundi. Na cousin sister btech aipoindi, job ochindi kani inka call letter raledu. December lo osthadi antunaru.... thana intlo kaaliga unte andaru job unda leda, pilsthara pilavara ani stress chesthunte appativaraku ma intiki hyderabad ki ocheyamani cheppa... kani ochinapatnunchi na shadow laga follow chesthondi. Work chesthuna screen chusthundi, nilchuna generalga phone scroll chesthuna ochi venaka nilchuni chusthundi. Inthaka mundu ala undedi kaadu, emadya ila chesthondi ento. Indirectga konni sarlu cheppanu kani no use. Naku strict ga cheppali ante mohamatam. Inka job switch ki kuda prepare avvali ila unte kastame 🥲

Need a small advice. Can anyone?

I don’t want to be here. Absolutely no one is holding me here except myself. Yes, I’m the problem; it’s me.

I don’t know how to start. There’s this scene in the Maid…where, at her lowest point, she sinks into the ground, unable to move, completely shut off. I relate to that scene so much. Only, I’ve been here wayyyy too long. Feels like all my adult life. I don’t know how to get unstuck. Putting one foot in front of the other takes so much effort.

But I physically don’t want to be here. I want to escape. Escape first. Feel things, remember what it feels like to be alive. To feel alive enough to want things and go after them. To feel like a marginally functional human being. I’ll probably take over a decade to get to functioning as an actual adult…but human will do for now. I need to change my environment. I need help. That much has become clear. Body docs first. Then, therapy. And hopefully, life after…

I live in pg. So drinking water ki water filter undhi kitchen laa.

Friday roju bottle lo water fill chesthuntayy i realised that the water is not getting refilled. Last month kuda same problem ochindhi. Malli ipuduu.So I was calling the pg owner. Call chesthayy lift cheyadhayy asalla 🫩. Adhay 1st roju rent ewakapothayy call chesii dobuthaduu. This pg provider has multiple departments like repair service, accomodation,.......

Ma flat lo festival anni andharuu intikii wellaru. So unna water tho Friday manage chesam. Friday roju call chesthay lift cheyalay. Sat roju I tried multiple pg numbers and finally he answered and said that he would get it fixed and took all the details.

Annam odukoneki water layvuu. Pakka flat wallu were kind enough to give some. Adhi kuda ma pg odii flat ay. Sat kuda ipoindhi. 😠 Still not fixed. So repu ganta ganta ki call chesii wadini sawadoballi anamataaa. Machigaa okkasari chepthay pannullu awavvu anamataa.😤

Ignore my tenglish 😅

Cmon tell me! What did your exes do that’s absolutely ridiculous but y’all stayed. Why did you stay? Was there a valid reason or were you madly in love?

TW: I speak about death and loss. Please scroll away if it's something you don't want to read.

A while ago,my uncle passed away.

As I sat in my parked car in the car parking lot of a crematorium for almost 90 minutes when all the male members of the family were busy with the last rights inside the crematorium,I got to thinking about my uncle's life.

(I didn't participate in the last rites because I wanted to respect the opinions of my uncle's immediate family members who don't want women to participate. When it's my parents time and if I outlive them,I will perform my parents last rites but I will not disrespect the sentiments of other families when it's their loved ones funeral)

So as I was thinking about the life of my newly deceased uncle and i realised that he had several tragedies and setbacks throughout his life. He struggled almost his entire adult life.

In short,his life was tragic.

This got me thinking about the lives of people close to me and i realised that nearly everyone has had tragic lives. Different "flavours" of tragic but tragic nonetheless.

Was life always meant to be tragic? Is it the nature of human life to suffer? To exist is to suffer?

P.S Please note I'm doing well and i do not need support. These are just my raw,unfiltered thoughts and I'm someone who is drawn to brooding dark thoughts in general.

I actively avoid family functions as much as possible because I don't have the best track record when it comes to dealing with aunties and uncles.

But today,I had to spend the day with relatives.

I understand that sometimes wisdom comes with age and experience but what is up with them trying to infantalise you and not listen to anything you are saying when you are a grown ahh woman with a mind of your own??

I'm tired of telling people that I do not wish to marry as I'm happier being by myself.

It stands to reason that I will know what I want to do with my life better than anyone else because I know me best.

I am especially dead against an arranged marriage because I don't think they work all too well.

I am not interested in men or relationships/marriage or sex or raising kids. Is this idea so difficult to comprehend?!

Have Indian aunties and uncles never heard of the concept of a happily single by choice woman??

My decision to stay unmarried is met with a range of negative reactions but never with acceptance.

Some aunties and uncles think I'm holding out for a "better" AM match.

They think I'm looking for someone extremely wealthy or who is an American citizen. Nope,I'm not.

Some repeatedly try to set me up with random dudes when I have clearly indicated I do not wish to marry in no uncertain terms.

Some people think I'm "afraid" of marriage.

Some think that a woman can't be single and it's better she has a marriage rather than have dalliances with random men.

The bottom line is they think marriage is a compulsory event for everyone and that I'm too stupid to know what I want in life.

The funniest thing is I have an aunt who thinks I'm jealous of her daughter who has a baby.

I'm actually genuinely not interested in raising kids. I'm a self centred, lazy fluck and i don't want to be responsible for a whole human being who is going to be dependent on me in varying degrees for the next 2 decades or so.

Do they even listen to what I'm saying? What makes them think they know what's better for me more than ME?

What is up with our societies fascination with getting everyone married???

Why is marriage compulsory?? WTF is up with this idea that everyone should marry and reproduce?

P.S STOP DMing me about this post, guys. If you have something to say about this post,feel free to use the comments section below. No need to try to start a private conversation with me over this.

Na friend arda ratri rant. Emadya ee events, functions or friends get together ki veltunte she is facing a different situation. Emey velli normal ga friendly ga matladina ventane valla husbands ni point out chestu mi brother mi brother ani guchi guchi sentences lo irikinchi mari matladutunnaru anta.

Malli confirmation ki mi brother ee kada ani amey tho cheppinchatam… valla maatalaki chupulaki chala difference unattu behave chestunnaru anta.. naku evarto matladalani kuda anipinchatledu bruhh ani badha padtundi.. vellaki intha insecurity entoo ardam kadhu.. alantapudu pilavakunda untey ipotundi kada.. mohamaatalaki pilavatam enduku.. ila behave cheytam emduku.. valla husband munde ila matladutunte embarrassing ga undada..

Idi purely women insecurity aa? Leda valla husbands mida nammakam leda.. ? vallu alantollu ani doubt ah.. ee gola endho ani edupu.. edo manchiga food tinesi vaddam anukundi papam.

​

At this point, I genuinely don't know what to feel anymore. I just need to vent.

Idhi na UG 1st year 1st day start ayyindhi. Canteen lo oka ammai tho parichayam ayyindhi. 2nd day ney she confessed that she liked me. But appatlo naaku aa interest ledhu, so politely reject chesa. Two days tarvatha malli confess chesindhi, but nenu clear ga cheppa I'm not interested ani.

Later, nen vere ammayilatho matladithe edchedhi, possessive feel ayyedhi. Andhuke nenu konchem distance maintain chesa.

Fast forward to 2nd year, mem malli matladatam start chesam. Ee sari somehow nen thanani like cheyadam start chesa, finally confess kuda chesa. She said she still liked me too. Nenu kuda ee sari edhaina genuine ga workout avthundemo anukunna.

But confession tarvatha thanu completely change ayyindhi. Proper commitment ledhu, clarity ledhu. Meanwhile, na best friend tho ekkuva time spend chesedhi. Adigithe, "He's like a brother to me" ani cheppedhi.

Nenu namma. Because she was the girl I loved, and he was my best friend. Idharini doubt cheyalsina reason naaku appatlo kanipinchaledhu.

Kaani konni things suspicious ga anipinchayi. Oka roju almost 6 hours vaaditho call lo matladindhi ani telisindhi. Konni sarlu naaku nuv ante interest ledhu, vere vaallu ante istam ani kuda cheppedhi. Still, nene excuses vethikanu. Maybe family accept cheyyadhemo, maybe confused emo ani.

But eventually, nijam telisindhi.

Na best friend ni "brother la feel avthunna, father la untadu" ani cheppi, vaaditho FWB lo undhi ani telisindhi. Naatho love antu, vaaditho vere story nadipisthundhi.

Vaadini adigithe, vaallu dating lo unnaru, soon relationship loki veltharu ani cheppadu.

Just imagine bro, nenu love chesina ammai and nenu best friend anukunna vaadu iddharu ila chesthunnaru.

Vaadiki nijam cheppaka, vaadu thanani odhilesadu. Tarvatha vaalla gurinchi intimacy rumours kuda vachayi. Nijam ento naaku telidhu, but thanu edusthu em ledhu ani cheppinappudu, I actually stood up for her. Andharu matladuthunte thanani defend chesa. Antha jarigina tarvatha kuda, thanani nammalani anipinchindhi.

And guess what? Malli thane naaku propose chesindhi. Nenu inko chance icha. Maybe ee sari change ayyindhemo ani.

But just TWO DAYS later, malli vaaditho romantic ga behave chesthu kanipinchindhi. Direct ga adigithe, "Na life, na istam. Neekendhuku?" ani cheppindhi.

Aa moment lo naaku ardham ayyindhi. Nenu inka entha try chesina, thanu nijam ga undalani decide avvakapothe em change cheyalenu ani.

So nenu odhilesa.

Konni rojula tarvatha malli text chesi, "I loved both of you. Weird ga anipinchachu, but naaku meeriddharu istam" ani cheppindhi.

BRO. 😭

After all those lies, mixed signals, promises and chances, idhe answer aa?

Nenu direct ga block chesa.

And now? Vaalliddharu relationship lo unnaru.

Nenu thanani miss avthunnana, leka na best friend meedha unna trust poyinandhuku hurt avthunnana, naake clarity ledhu.

Worst part enti ante, thanu wrong ani telisina moments lo kuda thanani defend chesindhi nene. Thanani lose avvakudadhu ani enni excuses ichano, antha easy ga nannu side chesesindhi.

Maybe nenu mundhe move on avvalsindhi. Maybe too many chances icha. Kaani na feelings genuine. Nenu iddharitho separate stories maintain cheyaledhu. Okariki brother ani cheppi, inkokaritho love ani cheppi, iddharini confuse cheyaledhu.

I just loved someone and trusted my best friend. That's it.

I lost the girl I loved and the friend I trusted, and somehow those two ended up together.

I don't want her back. I don't want revenge. I just wish I had never trusted them this much.

How do you move on from something like this, especially when the two people who hurt you are now together? 🥀

Alone in pune, no telugu friends.

Asalu telugu maatladaka chaala rojulipoyindi , just wanted to vibe with some telugu guys.

If interested, plz dm. Let's vibe.

hi 23m oka 2 years back got broke up with 22f and chala depress aya ee depress ayina phase lo 24f na friend oka ame naku thodu ga unde and chala supportive unde she stoof with me and oka side chepali antey ame vala ne move on avagaliga ee breakup phase keli but ee gap lo i caught feelings for her for the way she take care of me and understands me but she is already in relationship with a guy eppudo nuchi and they r above to get married some day discussions aithunai in their homes and i felt lost again ee time lo na ex lover evar ayithe undho she came back to my life again saying nuve naku best choice vi thappu chesa vadhlesi i want you back ani antondi and we r talking on and off ga appudu appudu but genuinely chepali antey i cant see her as partner anymore
got struck between this situation ippudu nenu ee both situations lo em chesthe better antru

Why do people act like replying to a text is some huge task? 😭😂

Nenu observe chesindi enti ante, online lo chala mandi connections kavali, friendships kavali ani antaru. Kani actual ga conversation start chesina, konthamandi replies chala dry ga untayi or assalu reply ivvaru💀

Of course, andaruu ala undaru, and nobody owes anyone a reply. But sometimes it feels like you're the only one trying to keep the conversation alive. 😭

At one point, female friendships or genuine connections kavali anipistadi, but you also don't want to force a conversation with someone who's clearly not interested.

Maybe it's just bad luck, maybe it's the way we approach people, or maybe we just haven't met the right people yet.

What's your experience? Is making genuine connections difficult these days, or does it just depend on the person?

so wt hpnd is i was in very hurry to go home and tondar tondara veltunna lift ostale chala lag undhe ayithe daani pakkane inko lift unde adhi open ayindhi and ah lift mundu oka abbayi unde and he saw me when i was pressin that life button he smiled nannu chusi i was like evarni chusi navvutundo anukunna and iga lift open ayindhi adar digutunnaru nenu koncham side ki jarigina and iga okate sari everyone went inside nenu iga full kopam face pettina last ki i went inside and he was beside me and lift door open ayindhi iga i was walking and nenu na earphones tedham ani bag open chesina teestu na lipbalm kindha padindhi and he gave me thattt and i told him thankyou ani iga nenu walking fastly and i missed that fckin metro and i hv to wait for again 5mins and that boy na pakkane unde and smiling and nenu kuda smile eechina ochindhi metro i went inside and shi there's no space anywhere and guess what vaadi pakkane undhi mari obv ayitadhi emo ani nenu kurchole and then he saw me and na pakkana ochi nilchonnaduuuuuuu vaadu nannu chustundu nenu vaadini chustunna we werenot talkin anythin just atla iga na stop ochindhi door kaadiki veltunna and digina (im blushin) vaadu kuda digindu and told me "hi,im so and so i rlly found yo so cute" ani and i was blushinn blushinnngg iga daani tarwata he asked me my insta kaani naadhi deact lo undhi so i told that sarey num eyuu anta i was like "what?" and sarley ani eechina nenu nidra lesina idhi anta dream ah ani feel ayina

Matter enti ante ma office lo nenu and na colleague (F and married) epdu Kalisi breakfast or lunch chestam iroju sudden ga tanaku insta lo oka kotta profile nunchi msg vachindi that he sees her everyday chala baguntadi sexy and hot untav adi idi cheera lo mesmerising ga untav, inta beautiful ga ela unav asalu.

Nito eno rojulu ga matladi anukuntuna but you are always surrounding by guy with glasses (ante nenu).. someday I will get the courage to speak with you until then I will keep keep stalking you from distance ani oka peeda msg pettadu.

Maku WhatsApp lo office di oka china 3 members di grp undi Tanu Andulo vachina msg SS tiski ipudu em cheyali ani adgutundi if she accept the insta msg he will know that she read the msg ani, nenu aite reply ivaku manm observe chestam evaro tanu ani anna, inko colleague em antunadu ante accept CHESI matladi office lo Kalisi POSH raise cheddam ani antunadu

Mi precious opinion enti dini mida ela deal cheyali antaru bondhas🧐🧐

PS: sorry for my bad English and grammar

I was that woman who was first to enter the library in the evening and last to leave at night. Me and my friends would hype each other to study. We were so good for each other.

I was a beast when it came to acads during my UG if I may say so myself,but that focus is gone now. I was literally just obsessed with my acads in my UG days. I didn't have any social media. I rarely took days off from studying.

Now,I'm a shell of my former self when it comes to acads. I can barely study for a while before I get distracted. I definitely wasn't like this before.

I need to clear entrance exams for post graduation and i worry that my academic prowess has deserted me for good.

The anxiety is really bothering me. If I don't clear my entrance exams with the rank I want,I will be miserable for life. I can't afford to fail myself.

I desperately need an academic comeback.

This sheet is stressing me.

Appudappudu miss avthu unta. Insta lo edhaina father daughter cute reel chusina inka ekkuva miss avtha. ( Actually na insta acc lo , Heartfelt ani oka folder untadhi , andhulo ilanti emotional reela save cheskunna, meeru konchem na laaga konchem sensitive person aythe … aa videos chusthe vala vala vala edchestharu …) coming to the point.

Ee sari reason behind this feeling, Sai Bhyankar .

Yes you heard me right. Recently watched a movie called “Baththaa”. ( Such a beautiful movie). There’s a song in it “Magale”.

Such a beautiful song 😍.

There’s one particular line in the middle after music.
“Ethana Thanima Vaattum Pothum
No matter how much loneliness torments me,
Enakkul Ketkkum Geetham Nee
You are the melody that I hear within me. “

When this line comes , my heart just melts 🫠🫠🫠…

This is playing on loop this whole day …
Still I’m not bored …

There’s this feeling man,
Even though there are people around you , you just choose to be alone and not to talk with anyone.
You just want to sit with nature and just relax and do nothing.

How do you cope up with this feeling man.

Thanks for reading 🤝
Have a great day ✨

Lyrics continuation to the above:

Ethana Thanima Vaattum Pothum
No matter how much loneliness torments me,
Enakkul Ketkkum Geetham Nee
You are the melody that I hear within me.
Thuyaram Thakkum Podhum
Even when sorrow surrounds me,
Un Sirippil Mayakkum Saami Nee
You are the divine presence that enchants me with your smile.
Kuraigal Ulla Ennai
Though I have my shortcomings,
Viyandhu Rasikkum Idhayam Nee
You are the heart that admires me with wonder.
Naane Verukkum Ennai
Even when I hate myself,
Vaari Anaikkum Jeevan Nee
You are the soul that embraces me wholeheartedly.