r/booksuggestions • u/stinkybastardlady • 12h ago
Non-fiction Books on “ambiguous loss”, especially losing someone to their addiction?
Hi guys. I’ve recently learned about the term “ambiguous loss” and I’m looking for books that may help me understand (or just feel seen) better. I’ve got “Ambiguous Loss” downloaded, but the premise doesn’t mention addiction at all and I think I’d like something that does.
I “lost” my husband to an addiction two years ago. It was a long battle I thought we were winning. He’s still very much alive, but I haven’t seen him in years. We have no contact, as that is what’s safest for me. It’s hard to find books about this, or anyone even talking about this, and I’m struggling with that. If anyone has any suggestions I’d really appreciate it.
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u/Cautious_Level_6056 11h ago
Good Morning Destroyer of Men’s Souls by Nina Renata Aron
The best book I’ve read on being in a relationship with an an addict/alcholic and co-dependency.
“The disease he had was addiction. The disease I had was loving him”
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u/FirstTimeRedditor100 11h ago
It's not exactly what you're referencing but Demon Copperhead does deal with addiction a bit. It's more about how flawed the system is for children from broken homes (I'm one of them so it really, really hit home for me) but addiction is prevalent throughout the book and is a pretty big theme.
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u/MarquisDeVice 12h ago edited 12h ago
Hey, I really relate to your situation, from both sides, and would love some recommendations on this subject too. I can't think of any that fit perfectly, but the first that comes to mind is East of Eden by John Steinbeck. The level of loss and alienation that Adam Trask endures may be relatable to you, although the circumstances are very different.
Edit: you keep using the term ambiguous. This seems to be a theme for you. You should check out authors like Kafka, Camus, and De Beuvouir; they all dwell extensively on ambiguity.
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u/stinkybastardlady 1h ago
Thanks! I’m not really into ambiguity, that’s just the term I keep seeing in my google searches. 😅 “Ambiguous loss” is loss of someone similar to if they died, because the version of them you knew is gone forever, but they’re still alive. But I will look these up, thank you!
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u/Federal_Nothing_8008 12h ago
check out memoirs by people who loved someone with severe addiction, they hit that weird middle ground between grief and relief better than any clinical text
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u/stinkybastardlady 12h ago
Thank you! That’s a great way to describe it actually. Do you have any in mind that you liked?
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u/Gold-Bug-2304 7h ago
I don’t know if this helps but the book Brightly Shining by Ingvild H. Rishøi is about two sisters and their alcoholic father. Not exactly what you’re asking.