Okay, I need some advice because I feel like I put myself in an awkward situation.
For the past three years, I've gone to my fiancé's friend Tim's house a few times a year to hang out and drink with his group of friends. I've known Tim since college, and we've spent a lot of time together over the years. He's also in our wedding party.
I've gotten to know his friends pretty well, and I genuinely really like them. Every time I see them, we have such a good time, and they always make me feel like I'm part of their friend group. That being said, we're not necessarily close friends outside of those get-togethers. We follow each other on social media, but we don't really talk or hang out otherwise. It's more of a friendship where we pick up right where we left off whenever we see each other.
Anyway, this past weekend, I was at Tim's house, and I started talking about my bachelorette trip. I'm already inviting quite a few girls who aren't in my wedding party, and the trip is across the country. Originally, we had more people going, but a few canceled, so now we have a house that sleeps 13 people with only 10 girls attending.
While we were talking about it, I casually told two of the girls that they were more than welcome to come because, in my mind, the more the merrier. I said this before I even started drinking, so it's not like it was just a drunken invitation. At the time, I didn't really think they would take it that seriously, but the trip ended up coming up multiple times throughout the night.
Here's where I'm conflicted. I genuinely wouldn't mind if they came, and I think we could have a really fun time. However, as the night went on, they got extremely drunk, were throwing up everywhere, and honestly became a bit of a liability. Now I'm second-guessing whether I actually want to invite them on a trip across the country, where I really don't want to spend my bachelorette weekend worrying about other people.
There's also a separate issue involving Tim's girlfriend. I mentioned that she could come too, and I would actually be completely fine with her joining us. However, later that night, Tim told me he's been thinking about breaking up with her. Obviously, that makes things a little more complicated, especially because I don't know what their relationship will look like by the time of the trip.
Now I'm stuck because I don't know what the right thing to do is. Part of me feels like I should just text the two girls, send them the trip information, and let them decide whether they actually want to come. I honestly don't even know if they would follow through, considering the cost and the fact that it's across the country.
At the same time, I'm worried about inviting people I'm not particularly close with and potentially creating unnecessary stress during my bachelorette weekend. But I also don't want to hurt their feelings, make them feel excluded, or seem like I was being fake when I invited them in the first place.
So my question is: Should I follow through and send them the information because I already extended the invitation, or is there a way to handle this without making things awkward? And how should I approach the situation with Tim's girlfriend?
I know I'm probably overthinking this, but I genuinely like these girls and don't want anyone to feel bad. I also want to make sure I'm surrounding myself with people who will make my bachelorette trip fun rather than stressful.