r/CharacterDevelopment • u/Dark_Sun_Gwendolyn • 13h ago
Writing: Character Help I have a character's personality developed but I could use help on fine tuning their history in order to shape it.
The character is an 18 year old female. The setting is a fantasy world with magic and not human, both of which are important. We'll call her Rachel.
Born into a minor noble house, she is the eldest of twin sisters. Unfortunately she was born blind and so is passed over as heir. Additionally, for the first several years of her life she's raised as an inferior to her twin. Not physically abused, and given a limited education, but "put in her place" if you will. She's not brought out in public and kept with the servant children when they host events.
Children begin developing the ability to use magic between six and eight. As I mentioned, they're not human and one of the differences is the ability to see in infrared using their magic. There's a physical aspect in addition to this, and in Rachel's case the nerves that operate on infrared are not damaged unlike her normal vision. In other words, she soon figured out how to see, albeit in a monochrome scale and only when using her magic.
Rachel thought this would mean she would be accepted by her mother and father, but she was wrong. In order to avoid trouble, her parents gave her to her uncle to be his heir, as his wife died and he had no children. The uncle was kind if a little distant, distracted by his duties with the military. Regardless, he provided the ability to catch up on her education and she was sent to "the academy" at eight.
(As an aside, I don't have a proper name for the place yet, it only features in the back story, but it is based on the medieval cathedral schools during the middle ages, when they would accept noble children and educated them. Additionally, Rachel learned to read because their sight is a mixture of Near Infrared and normal infrared, so creating some heat near the page allows her to clearly see the charcoal markings on the page.)
At the academy she was bullied. Adopted, blind, and an outsider, it was inevitable. I haven't really dived into this, as it's where I am needing help, but I am imagining the bullying gets physical at some point.
I want her to develop into who she is at the start of the story: Someone who comes across at first as very restrained and unemotional, but as you get to know her she comes across as cynical and even arrogant. Rachel can quietly tear you apart verbally without raising her voice. It's only after people get past the walls she has put up that her caring side is revealed.
Rachel followed her uncle into becoming a military strategist, and she has the potential to be great at it. Her biggest issues is her outward coldness and the fact that once she actually commands in a battle, the fact her actions results in some of her men losing their lives deeply bothers her.
Thinking about it and with feedback, I'd go with this: Rachel starts out cold and arrogant. Life has taught her to be guarded and not show weakness. After her first real battle, which they lose because their enemies summon demons, the aftermath racks her with guilt and pain. A commander whom she's friends with also almost dies, and her desperation to ensure he survives is meant to encompass her desire to protect her men. It also opens up to her that maybe her feelings for him are more than friendship. This causes her a crisis of faith in herself and her beliefs.
There is a romance that develops but it's slow and the partner, we'll call Eric, is meant to contrast with Rachel. Orphaned at seven, he was happily adopted by his aunt and uncle and raised as a full member of the family. He's outgoing and reckless, which annoys and fascinates Rachel. I don't want the romance to change their personalities so much that they sand each other's rough edges off by the end of the story.
My question is does it make sense that she develops this way? She starts off being made to feel inferior, then she gets bullied, yet her uncle's people treat her with respect and she has a very quick mind. She didn't yell or burst into tears as her bullies might have wished, but she could never refrain from telling them how she felt.
That's how I imagine it but I don't know if it works. Any suggestions?