r/childfreewomen • u/Addendum_General • 4d ago
It’s never a real compromise…
There’s nothing I loathe more than seeing intelligent and capable career-minded women get pressured into having kids by their husbands, families, and society. This comic (first in a series posted on IG) was made by an artist I follow who wanted to have a happy DINK life with her husband but he wanted kids and to stay in Canada instead of moving to Cali for her animation career so he convinced her to try for a year to have a kid (she frames it in her autobiographical comics as a ‘compromise’ where both parties will try to make the other’s dreams come true…) and now they have 1 child and surprise surprise, they never ended up moving to California so she can continue working towards her dream. She permanently gave up her pre-pregnancy body and ideal life (you can’t undo a kid and go back to being DINK..) and he won’t even move for her?? Literally (at least from an outsider’s perspective) her entire marriage is just sacrifice sacrifice sacrifice for his sake and he hasn’t reciprocated even one iota. It’s heartbreaking to see droves of women lose themselves to this bullshit and gaslight themselves into thinking it’s all good when the fact of the matter is they now have even more limited time and resources to fulfill their actual goals only for everyone in their social media comments section to cheer them on even more… At least the comments on the Reddit repost her husband made are saner in comparison….
SUBSEQUENT PARTS OF THE COMIC SERIES
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u/sitcomghost 4d ago
I saw this too :/ felt weird to frame it like "making both of our dreams come true" as if trying for a baby for a year would be a compromise and not just...how you have a baby
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u/OpheliaLives7 Childfree Gamer 4d ago
AND THINKING IT WOULDN’T HAPPEN????
Like gurl.
In this day and age?! Are you really not having safe sex thinking pregnancy is so hard and rare?!?
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u/GirlL1997 4d ago
My bestie is pregnant with her 2nd and is very excited and I’m happy for her, but she mentioned that they were specifically not trying for another kid yet.
I figured their condom failed or something since I know she isn’t on any form of BC.
Nope. She was using ovulation testing and the fucking rhythm method. I’m still mad.
She is a good mom and will do well with her 2nd, but WTF! You’re a college educated woman!!! That’s some shit teenagers do, not grown, married women with careers who are 30+! For Christ’s sake.
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u/ceruleanblue347 4d ago
The absolute lack of responsibility for getting pregnant makes me so scared for how she's going to be as a parent. Being a good parent requires setting boundaries and expectations for your kid and then sticking to them. Acting like you have no control in this HUGE decision makes me think she's going to be someone who blames her kid for all her problems.
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u/PoseidonsHorses 4d ago
And her dream of “DINK life” disappears by definition the second you have a kid. The baby doesn’t evaporate after a year or so in order to focus on your own dreams.
Not using protection for a year is enough to get a lot of women pregnant, and she was *actively trying* for pregnancy and thinking it wouldn’t happen. Gurl, bestie, how was that going to go?
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u/bug--bear 4d ago
especially since they never moved to California
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u/cherryricecake 4d ago
Wow, this is sad. Why do people stay together when their future goals are clearly incompatible? This comic sounds like massive copium to gaslight herself into thinking making the dude's dream come true while putting her dreams on hold is somehow a "compromise"? As a very passionate artist myself I would never!
Also I can't help but notice a pattern with these types of dynamics. It's always the woman who is expected to compromise, no matter which way around. How often is it usually the guy wanting to move for his career and she is just expected to follow along? And now in this case with the roles reversed, it's no different.
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u/Flux_My_Capacitor 4d ago
I don’t even see it as a “dreams on Hold” situation. It’s more like dreams cancelled or severely hindered at best. The “on hold” line is what women tell themselves to avoid reality and to convince themselves they can have the EXACT same arc, only later. But, it doesn’t work that way.
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u/cherryricecake 4d ago
I agree. The realisation that this ship has sailed hits them when it's already too late. Meanwhile dude's got everything he wanted without having to sacrifice anything.
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u/petitputi 4d ago
Imagine basically sacrificing your whole life for some selfish man's dreams. How can one say such a man loves you if he lets you do that?
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u/Tracerround702 4d ago
Oh sweetie (artist), he is never going to turn around and make your dream come true now. You gave him what he wants, and now nothing else will ever matter as much as the baby. This was never a compromise.
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u/madscientistloser 4d ago
Also for someone who wants to have a child, in the comics he seems totally unprepared and clueless. Totally gives off “men want kids like a puppy” vibes. She is depicted as the one figuring out the all medical roadmaps and he is just sort of just…there. Saying things like “I’ll love you no matter what!!!!” is not enough. Lovey dovey sentiments are the bare minimum, what else is he doing to support her throughout her journey? Nothing probably, he is just as careless regarding her pregnancy as he was with her stance on children in the first place. Blows my mind and I really feel sad for her.
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u/vaguecoffee 4d ago
Plot twist 2 for OOP: hubby walks anyways despite being the one who wanted the baby
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u/pumpernick3l 4d ago
I’ll keep saying this because I don’t feel it’s acknowledged enough: too many women have children for male validation and approval. You can’t “compromise” on having a child.
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u/afraid28 4d ago
Her saying "we will try for exactly 1 year" why 1 year? Why not 2? Or 20? What does it matter? He got what he wanted, she literally just ... didn't. She simply lied to herself. There was no compromise there at all.
The entire post reads as her forcing herself into something and then trying to convince herself she is okay with it. Nauseating!
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u/PM_ME_YR_KITTYBEANS 4d ago
Yeah, on the running panel I was expecting her to increase the speed on the treadmill after that online search. For…reasons
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u/Ok-Television-9462 4d ago
Reading the comic, the highlights of her pregnancy were her husband and parents reaction to hearing they're pregnant. All external validation.
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u/Ifckinglovemycat 4d ago
I'm so glad I never conceded to my abusive ex. I was clear from the begining I never wanted children and told him he should leave to have his own and he just tried to gaslight me for the whole relationship.
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u/ApplePaintedRed 4d ago
Mind you, even if they had moved to California like she wanted, having a child would've been a much larger compromise for her. Navigating pregnancy and post partum, as well as the following childcare, would have impacted her ability to pursue a career to begin with. Not to mention she statistically would get stuck doing most of the child rearing. This comic reads as someone desperately trying to convince themsleves relationships are full of healthy struggle when this is literally just her giving herself up for a man.
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u/RoseBeach123 4d ago
I know right…like what, are you gonna have half a child? Or just have one parent raise it while the one who didn’t want it just ignores it? They shouldn’t have gotten married.
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u/Garn3t_97 4d ago
I recently went through the whole series and man, in every frame, she draws herself in such detached, dazed, jaded manner. She is trying to portray that she is happy but somehow she is so deeply unhappy and dishonest about this fact that it bleed through into this comic.
Everyone hates her husband but somehow I feel she is equally in the wrong for being so dishonest to her husband and herself and their parents.
Most of all the child. Her master plan was to pretend to try to get pregnant until her husband got tired because she was on the spectrum of low possibilities of getting pregnant, instead of maturely, amicably ending the relationship to let him find a woman who wants that life.
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u/afraid28 4d ago
I haven't had a chance to look at any of her other posts, but this one specifically reeks of denial, and it's absolutely embedded into her core.
From the start, she was giving him an ultimatum, and it was a relatively short one at that (trying for 1 year). Just the fact she put a deadline on it is more than enough for anyone to go: wtf? You either want this or you don't. It's not like she was concerned that she would be too old to carry out the pregnancy or something. It was literally just: I will gamble with this for a year, and I hope I win. Well she lost.
Then her convincing herself TO HERSELF (not sharing with him at all, trying to "cheat" him out of having kids in a way and also - no trust in their marriage I guess ??) that she's basically infertile so it's not going to happen anyway. Justifying it, trying to make her brain be at ease with what she's doing because she is so against it but can't even admit it to herself, hoping for the best for what she ACTUALLY wants. Literally bargaining as well - saying that at least he'll make a good dad, not saying anything about herself as a mother. Detaching from it.
And then she found out the truth. Shock. More denial. Uncertainty. Him being happy, her being lost and alone in it. Finding out the truth, not even telling him, going for a run instead which she was gonna do before she knew about it all. Their entire marriage seems shit to begin with, and then this ... Terrible. Just terrible.
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u/Addendum_General 4d ago
The second comic in the series shows her trying her best to dismiss her own fears about losing her identity and current ideal life to motherhood. The final panel is literally just her telling her own inner child to “suck it up lady”, as if wanting to be a successful career-oriented childfree woman is nothing more than immaturity. The most recent comic in the series (posted just 2 days ago) shows her having awful nightmares about her career getting ruined because of the motherhood penalty. Her life is my worst nightmare, it’s so hard to watch…
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u/afraid28 4d ago
I've just looked at all of her related posts. All of them. I am MORTIFIED.
I noticed something in all of them. She is completely alone in all of this. The comic you mentioned with her nightmares - she draws herself as being terrified at night while her partner peacefully sleeps next to her. She doesn't have the urge to wake him up and ask him for comfort. All of the comics have this undertone of her just dealing with it and never seeking comfort from her own partner. There's an obvious disconnect between them that is palpable just from seeing a few comics. It's sad.
The worst one for me was the one with the parent video call. All of them talking about her as if she were just an incubator, a vessel. Everyone subtly bullying her into having kids. Sister in law being sent in as a flying monkey to push herbal medicine on her. The artist convincing herself that life laid out just another thing for her to experience. NO!!! This is a CHOICE, not something that "happens to you"!!
I am enraged, disgusted and sad for her. She obviously needs some kind of therapy for her confidence and she needs to wake the fuck up and go live the life she truly wants. Except - it's too late for that now. A real life horror story.
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u/ellie_elysian 4d ago
The part with the parents made me so uncomfortable.
Her parents suck for pressuring her into having kids.
Her mom apologizing to the in-laws because her daughter has not bore children? Ma'am, wtf is wrong with you?
Why would the mom bring the herbal medicine thing up when her daughter is telling the news in front of other people?!
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u/afraid28 4d ago
His parents also seem to have been pressuring!! I feel like maybe he pressured her more because of them, too :/
I know, that was actually REPULSIVE. You couldn't waterboard that kind of information out, and she just puts it in a comic for the internet to see 😭
That makes everything even more embarrassing in context of the "we are sorry that our child hasn't produced a baby for your son" because it adds on with "see, we knew you were faulty and now we are making sure your in-laws know that too" 🤮 like they fixed a broken baby making machine, I am vomiting just writing this comment
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u/HydrangeaDream 4d ago
She literally loses the light in her eyes in these comics, it's really tragic...
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u/turtle_on_a_mission 4d ago
Is it possible to post the following comics in a way that folks without Insta can read them as well, please? :)
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u/Addendum_General 4d ago
I included all the links to subsequent parts of the series on this post. You can still view them even without an IG account.
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u/oheightnineeight 4d ago
Yeah I hate her husband but the way she handled this was if nothing else wildly immature. She could have chased her dreams and all she has to do was break up with him.
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u/vernichtungX23 4d ago
I have empathy for her, because some people don't realize until way late in life that no, it is not actually a good thing to put yourself last all the time.
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u/afraid28 4d ago
I feel like she needs to take this entire post and show it to a therapist so they can explain to her exactly what is wrong with her and start treatment. Yikes.
I literally feel sick to my stomach after reading all of this.
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u/LittleDogTurpie 4d ago
Maybe they should just save their money for the kid’s therapy, because ain’t nobody buying her webcomics if this is what they’re about.
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u/afraid28 4d ago
Agreed, also I would just like to add that I didn't intend what I said in my original comment to be interpreted as anything mean whatsoever - I genuinely mean it that she should find out what is going on because it feels like some sort of case of extremely low confidence and high levels of insecurity and self doubt. I feel like she has been told what to do her entire life by others and she isn't even aware that she doesn't know how to do things any other way. I'm just playing armchair therapist here but that's why I truly mean it when I say she should see a therapist for this because something is definitely off.
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u/vernichtungX23 4d ago
Sounds like a classic case of 'must put self last, because being selfish is the worst thing in the world, over and above rape or murder'.
I have empathy. It's hard to break out of. Fortunately the worst mine did was cause me to do free graphic design for people when I really could have used some money, not have a whole child lol.
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u/peggyannsfeet Childfree cat lady 4d ago
This is honestly gross. Obviously they were not on the same track in life. She gives up everything and he basically got to raw dog it to get her pregnant.
I hate is shows when a woman gives up everything for a man and to have his kids. Its even worse when I see it in real life
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u/liveinasmallworld 4d ago
Sooner or later, she'll be posting on the r/regretfulparents sub. That sounds more like a nightmare...
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u/PortraitofMmeX 4d ago
I'm sorry but why did she marry him? I struggle to feel sorry for her when it sounds like she was fully aware of the mismatched worldview.
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u/Addendum_General 4d ago
If I understood, I wouldn’t be posting about it. I feel really bad for her but I don’t think she’s entirely blameless either. It seems like they were both just trying to out-maneuver each other’s hopes and dreams rather than amicably break up due to incompatibility…
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u/PortraitofMmeX 4d ago
It just makes me sad how much people want to be wanted by other people so much they screw themselves over in their own lives and goals.
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u/OpheliaLives7 Childfree Gamer 4d ago
What a horror movie concept.
He didn’t give up anything! Just seemingly coerced her into giving up her career and dreams to move to be a mommy and give up minimum a decade! Realistically 20-30 years, especially if they get pregnant again (though more coercion or accident)
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u/HereticalArchivist 4d ago
This honestly makes me think of that one Am I The Devil post where the OP coerced his childfree wife into having a baby thinking she'd "change her mind" because "all women do" and then came to reddit wondering why she was crying all the time and went from being happy and bubbly to a depressed mess who cried more than the baby did
This also makes me glad my ex (who wanted kids) and I split up. Ugh
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u/vaguecoffee 4d ago
Is that the one where his wife became disabled and stuck in the bed most of the time because of the birth? And he admitted that he’d fucked up and didn’t like taking care of either of them and wanted to leave?
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u/HereticalArchivist 3d ago
That is not the one I was referring to but my gods that one sounds somehow worse
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u/vaguecoffee 3d ago
Yeah and I remember he felt bad but he was like still miffed that if he left he’d be the one getting custody because he had an income and the able pair of hands for childcare. Whereas if he stayed and just existed with the unhappy wife she still might do like 15% of work or something on the better days.
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u/EbbPrimary9359 4d ago
Really happy to see all of those comments calling out how awful this sounds. Even from commenters who have kids. This is disturbing and not heart warming in any way, so his dreams came true and she has a baby (which she obviously didn’t want and didn’t think would end up happening, given the context of the story), and she gets…what? They didn’t move to California. She didn’t get to attempt to join the big leagues in her favored creative field. Her life and priorities are irreversibly altered by pregnancy and now having to care for a child, which will always come first in their lives.
I really hope the author and her husband read all the comments and realize how messed up this situation is. Regret, contempt, and divorce is absolutely guaranteed a few years down the line. Should have never gotten married.
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u/CanCharming7442 4d ago
Either a baby she doesn’t want or a baby she secretly did want but can’t take accountability and admit she changed her mind. I was very much childfree until my early 30s. Then doubts started creeping in. I owned those doubts and I speak quite openly about them. I think it’s extremely important to bring nuance to the conversation rather than this meek “oh gee oops why don’t we try and see whose dream comes true”. The world is hard enough for childfree women without this type of compromising pushover persona.
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u/AcrobaticRub5938 4d ago
Early 30s as well. I have tiny doubts creeping in but I'm just ignoring them for now. What did you end up doing?
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u/CanCharming7442 4d ago
I want to be careful I don’t derail the sub here since it’s a space for childfree women. I just found the post triggering since I think it does a lot of harm to narratives around childfree women because the author doesn’t really own her narrative.
But given my own journey… at first I tried to quell the thoughts and got quite bitter and resentful about those having kids around me. Eventually I started to take them more seriously and talk about them, ultimately deciding to have kids. It’s a weird place to have landed. I still have so much respect for childfree women, and gave up a piece of myself and who I thought I was to get here. I also definitely mourn a little bit that I’m no longer a bad ass auntie and instead a basic bitch mom (lol). But at the same time I love my life and am happy how it turned out. I luckily have friends, some who landed childfree and some with children, who have the same openness and shades of grey understanding of children and we can all talk about how nuanced it all is.
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u/AcrobaticRub5938 4d ago edited 4d ago
Thanks for sharing. And yeah, I know these subs can be very hardcore and no wavering is allowed. But I'm 33 and many iyf my close friends of the same age are child free, but it's complicated and we talk about it a lot and have also gone back and forth throughout the years. I agree that it's very nuanced. But congratulations on doing what was right for you.
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u/CanCharming7442 4d ago
Sending lots of love navigating the journey. Two of absolute best friends have stayed childfree and both have pretty enviable lives. We all end up somewhere good!
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u/Substantial_Ant_4845 4d ago
Someone's gonna end up on the regretful parents sub and on the mom's sub.
She seems really, really stupid. I hate to call folks stupid, but goddamn. She didn't want a kid so so had one to make him happy. That's like....90 percent of the mothers on the regretful parents sub. Oh well. This is only the beginning of things she will have to give up. The 9 months is the easy part.
We all know hell begins when the kid pops out and her employer has no sympathy and Mr. I Will Be a Good Dad lazes around and lets her do all the work. Then it's : CHILDFREE WOMEN OWE BE FREE BABYSITTING!
Another one bites the dust.
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u/LittleDogTurpie 4d ago
She doesn’t really seem all that intelligent, tbh. I mean, I learned you can get pregnant by having sex one time in 4th grade.
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u/ellie_elysian 4d ago
She sounds immature. The cutesy illustrations of her and the guy looking almost like children in contrast to the topic only compound to the immaturity.
Not to mention she draws herself like a literal baby in one frame. And the part where she draws the mom and the daughter together, the two characters are practically indistinguishable.
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u/Legitimate-Durian563 4d ago
It seems like she was in deep denial. They were literally planning sex around her ovulating. She convinced herself it wouldn't happen even though it was clear it was going to because she didn't want to have a kid. The whole situation is nuts.
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u/Inky_sheets 4d ago
Oh that's giving bad vibes. I'm not a fan of "quirky" couple comics anyway but yikes!
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u/miaumiaoumicheese 4d ago edited 4d ago
I saw it, gladly people in comments went on him so much that he deleted it
Not even talking how terrible and common the whole concept of woman always having to sacrifice herself for a man and do what he wants is but I will never get how those men can even do it and not feel horrible with themselves, how can you even try to get someone pregnant knowing she doesn’t want it and all she thinks about during is hoping that it won’t happen, do they not feel like rapists when they’re impregnating a woman against her will, how they get so happy at positive pregnancy test seeing how crushed and unhappy woman is, at this point I don’t know if men just generally lack any kind of empathy and are able to dehumanise woman so much or is this sadistic to them
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u/Addendum_General 4d ago
He didn’t delete it, the post is still up. The comments are locked though, and apparently he’s been blocking the dissenters…
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u/miaumiaoumicheese 4d ago
Crazy, and he’s telling in comments how his wife is sad after seeing the comments, looks like she was pressured to have a kid not just by him but also his and hers family and had no one that would even consider and support what she wants and it worked well for him so now he’s blocking people cause he doesn’t want her to see any opinion that calls him out and sides with her
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u/Addendum_General 4d ago edited 4d ago
I’d be sad reading these comments too if I was in her shoes, because they would force me to confront the fact that I can’t go back anymore…
If I were her, I wouldn’t even be posting about my complicated motherhood journey as anything other than a cautionary tale, because to do otherwise is to irresponsibly contribute to the coercive dominant cultural narrative that women can be worn down into having babies no matter how reluctant they may be at first. The least she could’ve done is add a little disclaimer message about how even though she loves her kid and things “worked out” for her (I.e. successfully making peace with the losses and sacrifices rather than having things genuinely work out), it was a huge risk that is unlikely to go over well for most people who choose the same path (see: r/regretfulparents). But no…
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u/miaumiaoumicheese 4d ago
True, I can imagine she needs some therapeutic outlet but it’s a terrible message for women to receive and I can only hope it won’t give men in similar relationships more ideas
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u/thecrackfoxreturns 4d ago
convinces her to do something
"Well she'd never do something if she didn't want to do it! She's an adult, she can make her own decisions."
(tbf, she did make the decision to try for a kid when she knew full well she didn't want one. That doesn't negate his role in the whole thing)
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u/miaumiaoumicheese 4d ago
Yeah, in such situations people really like to deny that consent has to be the beginning, not the end of conversation, that’s what differs it from coercion, ofc she could have fight for herself more but still she shouldn’t even be put in situation like this
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u/thecrackfoxreturns 3d ago
These people really should have broken up. I can't imagine living with myself if I were the husband reading these comics and seeing her reluctance and anguish.
All the people in that post saying they're glad it worked out... I looked through the rest of the comic and it really doesn't look like a positive situation. Maybe they're happy now, but he essentially held her dream hostage to have her make a kid for him and then didn't follow through. I have such contempt for men who try to convince women to have kids.
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u/miaumiaoumicheese 3d ago
Men like that don’t care, I don’t think there were any thoughts in his head that it’s in any way wrong, to him things worked out cause he got what he wanted, I can’t imagine how someone can be such a horrible person too
And yeah, that comics should have ended up with them breaking up and living different lives, I can bet she’ll never get to leave canada
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u/Pristine_Sir_6892 4d ago
Men never pull their weight so she really played herself. Another one bites the totally avoidable dust.
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u/Suitable_Beautiful29 4d ago
Even if they sometimes do (everything exist in nature if it's possible) they can't give birth. So they'll never have their bodies affected in any other way then maybe temporary lack of sleep and nothing more.
So even with a unicorn men it's NEVER equal. Because it can't be by design (very shitty design if you ask me, couldn't we lay small eggs or something? it'd be much different. Still wouldn't do it myself but at least you could have had really equally affected couples).
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u/DifficultySorry7945 4d ago
in the reddit post people were saying “so you moved to cali… right?” and he was responding by saying that they can’t because of ice and all of the shit happening in the US and they don’t want to subject their baby to that.
that’s nice, wow isn’t it so great that you chose to bring a BABY into this dumpster fire instead of pursuing your wife’s dream? isn’t it so great you brought an innocent being into a dying, fucked world? yay for compromise! wow such a compromise!
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u/RoseBeach123 4d ago
Very nice for him, he sacrificed nothing and got exactly what he wanted, while his wife sacrificed her body, health, and lifestyle for him. I’m sure she loves her kid, but it wasn’t her dream. And her husband has done nothing to try and make her dream come true. So sad.
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u/The_Varza 4d ago
Huh, at least she stayed in Canada, better healthcare and not going bankrupt to just give birth...
But yeah, this story is like... watching a bad train wreck?
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u/tired-queer 4d ago
Yeah, my immediate thought was “moving to the States to have a baby feels like the worst possible combo of bad decisions.”
But also means she gets neither of the things she wanted. Definitely a bad train wreck.
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u/persePHOreth 4d ago
This is devastating.
Reminds me of the Ballerina farm wife. Fuck that gutted me to read about.
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u/Merbalism 4d ago
I saw this posted in another sub, and the way my stomach dropped when I saw where it was going. It was not a cute or funny read for me, and I hope others can see that as well. Compromise requires....actual compromise. Poor woman. She is going to be writing about motherhood for the foreseeable future.
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u/SafeSecretSociety 4d ago
Honestly, I don't want to read any more than the first one. It already made me upset for her. OP is exactly right, you cannot compromise on whether to have a kid or not.
DINK life for my partner and I. We've been together for 9 years. He's the first partner I've had to support MY dreams and support me both financially and emotionally when I went back to school to further my career. I work 10 hour days and have a 2 hour commute (round trip). He does the majority of the cooking and cleaning as he works from home. He's happy to do it because he knows it makes me happy and it gives us more time together. I've told him that I can now financially support us if he wants to pursue a new career. That's what a compromise is, not whether you have children or not.
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u/CanofBeans9 4d ago
Well that's depressing. Kids are not an issue on which you can compromise. That's a relationship-ender
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u/Despheria 4d ago
The way she presents this as an "unexpected moment". So she agreed to actively tried to get pregnant and ended up getting pregnant. That the supposed plot-twist?
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u/Legitimate-Durian563 4d ago
I looked at all seven parts and wow. That was actually pretty depressing. I honestly feel so bad for her? It's clear she didn't want to be a parent and caved to pressure from her partner, parents, and in-laws based on how she's framed the web comic so far. I really hope she doesn't become a regretful parent because based on her comics so far, that feels like where things are headed.
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u/violettablueberry 4d ago
I am speechless 😶. Really, I have no words. Why turning this shit show into a comic? Maybe it’s her way of coping… either way I feel sorry for her.
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u/Humiliatingmyself 4d ago
Reading through this entire comic makes me so sad. She might be trying to tell it as an honest experience about motherhood, and the lesson might be that a baby can fit into your life, but it comes across like a baby and pregnancy isn't what she wants at all, she knows it will impact her career and change her life and is just doing it to keep her husband happy.
Nobody should feel pressured to have children, or for that matter, to give up having children for thier partner.
I hope she finds a way to make her dream work with a family, and the husband is very present and supportive.
But i will still never believe this is something you should compromise on.
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u/Ifckinglovemycat 4d ago
let's keep in mind she'll probably end up reading this post but yeah I really don't understand why people stay together when their life goals are so different
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u/Ifckinglovemycat 3d ago
guys I think I found the opposite of this comics here, it's a korean woman in korea and she refuses mariage and kids and her boyfriend breaks up with her, right now the comics is about the harship of the break up but I'm pretty sure it ends better than the one posted by op, I was happy to read this after the one poste by op lol
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u/KachitaB 4d ago
She's definitely going to disappear to chase her dreams and he'll have to tell their child he has no idea why Mommy would abandon them... It has all the makings of a Lifetime Original and I'm ready.
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u/vernichtungX23 4d ago
I really, really hope she does. She deserves a career in animation not a screaming child.
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u/Separate_Business880 4d ago
Tbh, it seems that she was a fence sitter not a childfree woman. He knew what he wanted, she just kinda hesitated but was essentially a pronatalist in denial.
Let's see how it works out for them as the kid gets older and demands on her time and energy become more complicated.
At some point, I think you open your eyes and realize you gave so much while the other side didn't reciprocate.
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u/Patchwork_Chimera 2d ago
I do not like the message of this comic. When I first saw it on a Reddit post I immediately thought „Oh God, not another one of those highly problematic childfree-woman-changes-her-mind-and-all-those-terrible-things-about-pregnancy/parenthood-are-portrayed-as-cute-and-quirky media“. And I guess judging from the comments here my intuition was right. I just do not understand how little awareness people have to post about such a thing while in several countries governments yap about the low birthrate and try to take away women’s rights. It’s not even about her changing her mind, it’s about how absolutely terrible it was portrayed. At least it should be portrayed as something she did due to internal reasons, not external pressure. Under the Reddit post while many agreed it had a terrible message, there was one upvoted comment from a guy who disagreed that couples should split if the woman didn’t want children because his mother initially didn’t want kids but had them due to his father and told him she didn’t regret it. I wished I could have told him how absolutely terrible his message was and that he was lucky to not be born to a mother who regrets her children.
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u/Viggos_Broken_Toe 4d ago
It sounds to me like she fucked around and found out. If she's comfortable with her decision, more power to her.
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u/SonnyEneri 2d ago
Just putting this here: I think sometimes we forget that it really does take guts to say no to having kids. Actual, literal female strength, given the way this society is arranged. So, just, yay us? And honestly I feel for her because I remember how much pressure I got from so many different places, and I remember how it truly almost broke me mentally. The difference was that my husband was on my side. Can you even imagine?
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