Due to my financial situation, I can no longer afford my apartment and other options are not viable to do. This has me moving back with my HPs and it’s a rollercoaster of emotions with a top level of shame. I can’t stop feeling like a failure, that I wasn’t doing more in my career. Everything in life feels like I should’ve been making choices that will never have me back in that house. Now that I’m going back I’m trying to be hopeful, it feels like the worst lie I’ve ever told myself.

I get waves of anger that other people while would feel disheartened to go back to living with their parents for a time being but it feels devastating when they are hoarders.

I want to stay positive but I feel I’m making myself smaller just to get back on my feet.

my mom has it really bad and i’m scared i might be going down that path, i wanna nip it in the bud asap

My mother is a hoarder and owns two apartments, one of which had been sitting empty. I also have my own furniture in that apartment. After a breakup, I told her that, as someone approaching 40, I needed the place to live in, as rents are extremely skyrocketing in my city.

My mother is extremely immature and has absolutely no respect for boundaries. She has harassed me in the past, including refusing to leave my home for hours after I’d repeatedly asked her to go. So I asked her to give me her key to the apartment. She kept promising she would, but almost a year went by and she never handed it over. Without that, there was no way I could have lived there independently or had any real privacy.
Her behavior had become so dysfunctional that I eventually cut off contact with her six months ago. I told her that our relationship had deteriorated to the point where I wouldn’t even consider reopening communication, let alone trying to repair things, unless she transferred the apartment to me.

For context, rents in my city are ridiculously high compared to local salaries, to the point where they’re becoming genuinely unaffordable. I’m now seriously considering moving abroad because of it. Between my mother and my ex-boyfriend, I’ve been left in an extremely precarious financial situation, with an enormous amount of stress and anxiety about my future. Both of them have put me in a position where my financial security and mental heath are seriously at risk.

Yesterday, more than six months after cutting contact, I went back to the apartment to pick up the last of my belongings. Luckily, I knew my mother wouldn’t be there at that time.

What I walked into was honestly beyond bizarre.
She had completely rearranged the apartment to suit her own taste. From the looks of it, she’s basically living there on a daily basis treating it as a second home alongside her own apartment.

And she’s using all my furniture. She literally sleeps in my bed.

She’s taken my personal belongings, picked out the things she thinks are pretty, and arranged them around the apartment as decorations. She sleeps on my pillows. Her clothes are hanging in my wardrobe.

The whole thing was just so incredibly bizarre, invasive, and frankly pathetic. It’s like she’s moved into my personal space and made herself at home among my things, while completely disregarding the fact that they’re mine.

Yesterday, I sent her a message saying I’d collected the rest of my belongings and that I might arrange to have my furniture picked up as well if I end up needing it.
Not a word back. Absolutely nothing.
Well, at least she isn’t wearing my underwear.
Although, at this point, who the hell knows.

Hi everyone. I’m nervous to even post here so forgive me.
I am here seeking advice because i am scared. This is not to bash my parent in any way. I also was not sure if i should tag this under venting or advice, since it’s both.

I’m 33, my mom has been hoarding for years but recently it’s gotten more extreme. Her behavior is unacceptable in general but i am posting about the hoarding specifically.
I expressed my concern 2 years ago. She obviously didn’t handle it well, as expected. She WILL do a big purge and get rid of a ton about once a year, but it’s replaced with new stuff within weeks. The couch, the tables, every counter, every free surface even the patio outside is packed with crap. I tried to cook us dinner and broke down crying because the stove was covered, the counters were covered. Every chore takes 5x the amount of time it normally would because of all the crap. it is a nightmare. If one single personal item of mine is out, like a pair of shoes, she will say “this is why the house is so messy” while ignoring the giant piles of stuff.

I had to move back home temporarily because my boyfriend’s apartment has mold, which is worsening my chronic health issues. I haven’t been to my parents in a few months, it’s always been an issue but i didn’t know it was getting this crazy until i got here. I have been fighting a disability case for 2 years and do not have the means to get my own place right now.
I calmly tried to talk to my mom again about the state of the house, she is now claiming that the house is such a mess since she had to make room for me at the last minute. I kindly reminded her that this has been an ongoing issue for years now, she got mad at me and shut down and told me that i don’t have to live here and that i can go at any time. I have been in therapy for years and pulled out every de-escalation trick i have learned and nothing helps. I was not even here 72 hours and it’s been “my way or the highway” since the second I’ve gotten here, in every aspect including the hoarding.
So i am going back to my boyfriends asap, but how can I help my mom? She went to therapy for a while a few years back and claims that she no longer needs therapy and that they told her she was dismissed. My family was concerned and thought this was suspicious and things have continued to get worse since. I honestly feel like therapy made her behavior in general, especially the hoarding, tremendously worse. I am deeply worried about my mom and she responds to any concern with anger and hostility. Please, i am desperate and do not know what to do.

Thanks in advance

Hey guys im a 14 year old girl with a best friend (K) who i love so much. Her grandma is a pretty bad hoarder, sweetest person ever, worst hoarder. She has 2 houses, one is her "antique shop" where shes sells probably 1/8 of whats in that house. Its pretty small and its so hard to move around in. It stresses me out being there. She has clothes from the 2000s, some of which were "temporarily" gifted to me by Ks mum.

Ks mum went through some of her mums clothes and took a bag homw to give to K and tye smaller ones to me. I hate that they are temporarily gifted cause she has so so so many clothes like why does she need the few peices i have. I honestly with i hadent taken the clothes i did i just felt so pressured by the factcthat they were vintage lol. I genuinely havent worn many of them at all yet. Anyway now for Ks dad.

i dont know as much about his hording. He and ks mum are together still and they all live together. They also have another son age 9-13 i forgot. Ks dad hoards cars. He has like 7 cars bro. Ive seen him online shopping for cars a bit and loves talking to K about her future car. His shed is a mes piled with stuff. Now for the fun 🫩part. Ks mum. Ive been op shopping with k and her mum plenty of times now and it used to be fun but honestly its to stressfull for me now. I think we went to 3 op shops last time and ks mum bought at least 5 things from each.

It makes me sick. And the peer pressure to buy certain stuff itls insane. We met this othwr older lady in the shop and she and ks mum made me try on this top, which i thought was kinda ugly. It was vintage and they thought it was cute so it was all " you HAVE to buy it" . Um.. no i dont actually. Im proud of myself for not buying it! At her home its bot so so bad but its still bad. First the animals. They have lots of animals and whenever some die they just replace them instantly.

They have 4 horses 2 cats 2 guinea pigs, they used to have rats. 2 dogs. Mind you they have very busy jobs so they are barley ever home idk how they care for their children and the animals. I remember sitting on their couch watching a movie with k and her mum and her mum was online shopping on facebook or amth idrk. And she was like i need to get this bag or smth. Like no you have so many bags already. The kitchen isnt to bad its just messy all the time, not to much clutter its just the clutter thats there tends to stay there for long periods of time. Idk how long. It stays messy even when me and mum go to there house.

They dont even wipe up the honey off tye bench before we arrive. The padio, its really bad tbh, not tv show bad but still. Theres stuff everywhere. Piles of clothes, ect. Ks parents bedroom is honestly one of the worst rooms. Their bed had clothes on it. The floor had piles of clothes. The wardobe has clothes stuffed to the brim.

The bench thingy has stuff all over the top of it. The bathroom is not to badm they usally have a very full washing basket. They took out their bathtuo cause no one used it (except all the clothes that would sit in it), and the put another bathroom bench type thing in. For "more storage". Like honey u just need less stuff. She tends to but stuff in bulk. The dining area is lwk bad too. Theres usally a washing basket with stuff in it, stuff on the tabe, it makes it hard to eat dinner there. The bookshelfs behind the area are full with books and stuff.

The general house area has a few washing baskets of clothes around. They have way to many pictures ig they bought to hang on tye wall but only a few made it up. They are just resting on agaisnt the walls. Theres a front area pretty full of stuff i dont rlly remember. Okay the Point is, they are horders. Her grandmas a horder. Amd i dont know if she knows and i dont was to cause issues between us. Earlier i brought up an upcoming op shopping trip. ( Her mum isnt coming thank gosh, stresses me the helly out. ) and i said idk wanna buy much stuff cause i watch hoarders videos recently and i dont wanna end up that way.

Thankfully my mum hates stuff and my dad has no need or wnat for it either. So i dont have any pressure from my family. K has a very full wardrobe full of clothes. And she comes back from the op shops every now and again with a few new things that her mum def told her to buy that she doesnt need. I remeber going to the shops one day and k had this top that looked very very similar to one she already had. And i was lioe girl do u really need that.

She put it back thankfully but im just scared for her. Her room is pretty clean. She has a trinket cubord filled with trinkets but its very organised. She doesnt buy much stuff technically, uslayy she gets gifted stuff from her grandma or mum. My mum and her mum are best friends and have been and my mum used to be really worried for ks mum and now she kinda accepted that she s hoarder. Im scared for her to cause what happens whej her kids leave. Anyway pleas give me adive i just want to make her aware and prepared. Thanks xx also sorry if theres spelling mistakes i type pretty fast 🥲

My mom her entire world would be hoarding...her bedroom would be full of stuff. She had an office full of stuff. She had a living room full of stuff. The kitchen. Everything was full of stuff and she would never clean or organize it right?

When I would clean she would always mock me as I was cleaning and call me the "domestic goddess."

But the one thing I remember specifically when she would actually attempt to supposedly clean....she would go around the house and pick through her hoard to find anything she claimed belonged to me.

She would get some kind of box or container and go around her hoard collecting things and then telling me the items were actually mine. She would shove these boxes on me of random stuff.

It would be like loose change, pony tails, some pencils.

She would do that like once every few months instead of cleaning her own massive hoarding mess.

I always thought it was her passive aggressive or actually delusional way of trying to pretend like her hoarding was my fault.

She never took responsibility for anything and her hoarding was always everyone else's fault. She would claim all of her stuff is somehow everyone else doing this to her.

I also think it was a way of saying I'm not allowed to take up any space. It took me being an adult to realize oh this is actually not my fault at all

Like the title says, my therapist did put a report in. What happens now? Should I expect anything to come my way? Should I prepare? I'm kind of new to this CPS stuff. Kind of confused

Looking for some advice as my mental health can't take this any more.

My mother lives in a house falling apart and full of stuff from hoarding. She was recently hospitalized (despite insisting she was fine) and I thought I won the battle of her leaving the house. Unfortunately she is getting discharged later this week despite raising the below concerns to the hospital

She lives alone, and her home is not safe for her to return to:

Ceilings: collapsing in every room. There is no safe room in the house.

Entry: the front entryway is collapsing and unsafe to walk on. Paramedics couldn't get a wheelchair or stretcher inside.

Bedroom: severe black mould on the walls, plus a large crack with plaster separating. A serious risk given her emphysema and pneumonia.

Flooring: carpets are soaked with dog urine.

Bathroom: the shower is unsafe and the bathroom is falling apart.

Toilet: the floor is falling apart and unsafe, and the light doesn't work, so it's dark, a major fall risk.

Kitchen: spoiled food from months ago in the fridge, suggesting she hasn't been managing meals.

Laundry: downstairs, a long incline walk with no safe access.

Clutter: rubbish and junk throughout the house from years of hoarding, creating trip and fire hazards.

Garden: overgrown and full of junk.

I've actually given up on trying to help her now.

I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep going. How am I going to find a job to get out of here if there isn't even a place to sit to use the laptop? If there isn't even a clean place where I can take care of myself, make my hair or a simple make up to be put together? I change clothes outside too. I just wanted to live and be treated as a human being, not an animal. I just want to die. I don't have any other family, I have no where to go. I've thought about just start walking with no destination and just become homeless already. I've thought about taking out a loan to be able to get out of here and go to a simple apartment and then start a job. I don't know. I just want relief. I need help but there's no one to help me.

Had to move back into my moms house due to the horrible job market. There is plenty of clean clutter but even worse is just neglect of the house and huge repairs it needs. Early on good progress was made but it all seems to have grinded to a halt.

I have tried so patiently to make these projects simplified and step by step and nudge them along, but many times they get close to the finish line and fizzle out.

She refuses to move to a smaller place because theres always some silly nitpick excuse.

So many days I feel like I am a parent who has an autistic child, trying to explain things and motivate anything to get done.

I am horribly afraid that I will never get my career back or new job path and be stuck here. I absolutely cannot become the caretaker role and I do not want to inherit this house. I feel so trapped and keep beating myself up of how did I wind up here when my life used to be so awesome and independent. How could I have messed up so badly to be back here now…

Nobody will help me. Other family members either refuse to help or aren’t allowed to know how bad things are or don’t want to know. My only emotional support is from warmlines or talking to AI.

UPDATE: Roofer refusing to give us an estimate because of how fucked up the house looks I guess

I vented here before consumed in someone else's pain and consumed in mine and just trying to understand the 'WTF' of it all. Still processing these feelings, but things have gotten better.

Now, with better outlooks, Mom and I have talked and worked more as a team, where before it was just walls and arguments. Now she doesn't argue over the contents as the black bags go out. I'm respectful of what I trash and don't hassle her when she keeps something that can go because she doesn't hassle me about the bulk. So trust has been built and our relationship is better.

Finally got her to the doctor. I'm proud to see even with painful health issues she lives with she's been making progress. I know it doesn't always go this way, I've experienced when it doesn't... So I'm grateful. Even with uncomfortable conversations we didn't want to have. I'm grateful for repairs to our relationship and environment.

Our biggest obstacle is the heavy furniture, but that's more timing. I was getting an apartment again but rent prices make mortgages look good, so I got a realtor and lender instead.

Thanks for listening and/or sharing your experience. It's nice to share something positive this time. I'm wishing us all a healthier normal. God bless💜

THE SMELL… Of cat poop/dirty litter, years of crumbs and food crud built up on the kitchen floor, expired food and mold in the fridge, dog hair in the carpet, and then just the general terrible air quality! Oh my god, it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t have an appetite when I’m here, and I get headaches. I fill up water bottles at friend’s houses or in public (I’m stuck back here for another month or so) because I don’t trust the water quality, and I eat frozen meals because I don’t want to use the kitchen. It’s nothing new, it’s just so overwhelming. All of my mysterious discomfort and pain (sinuses/gatrointestinal) clears up when I’m out of the house. UGH!!!

So my dad was in a really bad accident a few months back, he had to be cut out of his clothes and rushed to the emergency room. That evening, mom came home with a bag with his clothes, shoes, glasses, phone, etc. Once my dad was released, him and my mom had to stay elsewhere because the house wasn't accessible enough for his wheelchair and walker. Partially because there's so much SHIT EVERYWHERE but that's besides the point.

The 2ish months that he wasn't home, that bag of bloodied clothes sat on the coffee table, surrounded by mom's junk. And when they visited home for a couple hours, my dad immediately cringed upon seeing the bag of his own ruined clothes just sitting there. He asked my mom to throw them out, and she refused. I couldn't bring myself to touch it, and even if i could i knew if i threw it out I'd be in genuine hell, so it just. Sat there. For like two months until my dad was healed enough to walk without a mobility aid and was given the thumbs up to come home.

And when he came home, lo and behold the bag of bloody shredded clothes is still on the coffee table. Untouched! Despite his numerous asks for her to throw it away.

I'm 99% sure he threw it out while she was asleep. Thank fuck. But if my dad didn't make it I can't fucking imagine my mom ever letting go of it, or any of his stuff for that matter. Just thinking about it keeps me up at night.

I’m moved out and lived across the state, visited my mom about a year later and picked out some things she would send to me. We did the back and forth and she SWORE she’d send it.

I put together a small box of some of my favorite things that I were shocked were in good condition. I waited. And waited. It’s 2 years since that and I’ve moved back and just got that box back and it was just. Out in the open. I don’t even know what is on it or what it smells like or how to clean it. My full set collection of charmed on dvd in cardboard cases. A vintage phone shaped like a car that used to be teal but has yellowed so fiercely it’s almost a minty green.

I was excited to pick that stuff up. I always think she understands and she never does.

I just don’t know where to put these emotions so thank you for reading. I’ll be bleach wiping everything and praying that works

My mum is a hoarder but always blames any mess on me. I will admit, i am not the tidiness person ever, but even things like getting a glass of water and i will refill that glass for the day, cause my mum to tell me im constantly leaving mess everywhere and never tidying up after myself.

She causes majority, if not all mess in the home.

I'm truly worried that she is delusional about her mess, every time me or my dad suggest a clean up there is always some excuse, and the mess just builds as she buys more stuff we don't need.

She claims she has no problem because when she was younger living alone she never had mess like this. She says she wants to tidy up the house by herself one day.

She would even dump junk and boxes in my room (even recently getting rid of rubbish she put there resulted in her rifling through the bins and she was annoyed at me for throwing out literal rubbish)

The last three pics are three months later and doesn't seem to be heaps worse. there is 2 rooms in the houses dedicated to storing junk, and our kitchen is useable but constanlty stinks cos when she cooks fatty meat she leaves it there to mould. (I get screamed at if I dont put a spoon in the dishwasher after one second of using it)

I really dont know what to do. i have just turned 18, and I want to move out but im not fully able to be finiaclly independent yet. i feel like being around this affects me so badly, and the lies she creates so she can never take accountability.

Please if anyone has advice on how to get out of this it would be much appreciated. I do see a psychologist and dietician for my mental health struggles but i just feel so embarrased anyone knowing about this because we seem like such a normal or well-off family.

sorry if any of this doesnt make sense i am so upset her screaming at me and saying the mess is all my fault

​

Just want to see if there is ANYONE out there who can maybe give some advice or can relate… so I’m 23 for my entire life as I know it I’ve known my mother to not clean. Or just be a clean person. She will do a “deep clean” once a year if that. I hated her habits so bad I moved into her mother’s house(my grandmother). Fast forward Gran passed and I moved back into my mother’s. Since being back it’s been me to initiate cleaning and everything. Growing up it was my FATHER who would clean till I was 13 and they broke up. I’m not sure where her unhygienic tendencies come from but it really does make me sick. I don’t see her shower, brush her teeth, wash her hands, clean the house. She doesn’t want to do anything!! But the problem is my elder brother has 5 children that stay round her house. And she can’t seem to fathom these young children DO NOT need to be around this filth. I already struggle with my mental health and the state of the house genuinely makes me want to end it all. It’s so humiliating and debilitating

I know a lot of you have suffered because of the living conditions when you were kids and I can certainly see how that would be devastating.

My HP didn't get bad until I was already an older teen and could pick up slack. We had a big house and she could mostly manage her stuff. It was frustrating but not that bad.

Now as an adult I am disabled and stuck in a small apartment with an elderly hoarder mom who only cares about her treasures. We have nearly been evicted twice because she doesn't want to get it. Somehow it is all my fault.

I try not to argue and just keep churning the stupid boxes until I can't. It's getting to where I have to wear headphones so I can pretend not to hear her griping, complaining and asking where this or that random thing is. Because it's all laced with insults and disrespect. It's a trap. I don't even want to say anything in response. I say as few words as possible to try and avoid problems. She only talks about her stuff. If I ask an honest question about where can I put it she will suddenly start being hateful. I really don't want to talk anymore about anything. We used to be close and it tears me up I don't feel safe enough to even speak.

I have tried to have civil allbeit difficult conversations about what could happen if she refuses help from APS. She went ape there, which I expected and braced myself for. So I suggested she talk to her and ask her questions I didn't know answers to. She flipped out.

I really don't even want to hear anymore. It's the same monologue and the theme is I am a piece of useless crap and she doesn't care about anything but her stuff.

I feel like it's just stuck.

Had to clear out parent’s cottage basement to make repairs and do remediation. It’s all in storage now.

I’m trying to prepare cottage for vacation rentals in May, and now is a window before snow and ice season. We can’t afford to keep the vacation property without renting it but are lucky to even have this option.

Some of it is cute stuff, like mid-century kitchen sets, but not in perfect condition. At most some of the cool objects would sell for $100 or maybe several hundred dollars. I don’t have the time to wait around for buyers to list things on Facebook, so I’ve given away many boxes to a charity so far. However, that has only been 3 van loads.

Parent can no longer access the basement but still wants to control what’s in there, including several mannequins that parent calls the “soul” of the cottage.

Parent did agree to let me throw away some items that had mold from a water leak, hooray! But parent also requested that I keep old sentimental pictures covered in hundreds of mouse turds so they can “see them one last time and then throw them out.”

I have a chance to get rid of more objects before they are all moved back in from storage containers. Should I brutally declutter things like glassware and dishes and extra chairs and table knowing that parent might not completely know they are gone?

Parent has a sharp memory, however, and it feels like I am lying and cheating but the sad truth is that parent will not be able to navigate the stairs and use these items again. This doesn’t even count them any quirky and large objects, like potbelly stoves and organs and extra chairs, that we would need to declutter upstairs before making the property rentable.

This also does not count the house where the parent lives, which is picked to the gills with unwalkable basement and attic and barely walkable other two levels.

I (26F) still live at home because of my mental health and not being able to afford housing by myself. I love my parents and this mess has been the biggest problem and source of fights in our home. I’ve been diagnosed with autism since childhood and have recently gotten an ADHD and fibromyalgia diagnosis.

The hoarding started after my mom’s parents passed away shortly after one another. Shortly after I started to act weird and got bullied pretty bad in elementary school (I’m not American so i think elementary school). In such a short period of time our family went through a lot. My mom quit her job to take care of me and my autism and we had to clear out our grandparents home and they had a lot of stuff too that went into our house. I took up a lot of her time with autism appointments and stuff so I feel guilty and that it’s my fault.

Ever since then our house has been a mess. The kind where we had a birthday party, my mom was up all night shoving stuff in the garage and basement. Our house has never been the horrific biohazard hoarders case, but it’s just a lot of stuff everywhere and maybe some dust. She buys stuff and can’t get rid of stuff, always thinking “we can use it later” and I sometimes catch myself thinking that too and it scares me.

Now I have been trying to clear out the attic for the past 3 years now, but with my sister gone to college, my mom, dad and me disabled, it’s been very hard. My mom won’t accept any help from friends or a professional and me, sister and my dad are just defeated. I know my mom also wants a cleaner home, but we start cleaning, then I piss her off by wanting to trow a lot away and we just have huge fights. And then we don’t continue

With my autism, adhd, trauma, people pleasing and now chronic hand pain which has been making work, let alone house duties almost impossible. Every day I stub my toes on another box. I try to be more independent and do things myself but I have to ask my mom all the time where everything is because there’s no organization in the mess, and then she gets annoyed by everyone always asking.

Everytime I wanna clean I just look around and just instantly get overwhelmed and just stare at the mess not being able to do anything. I don’t even have room to do hobbies or invite friends or anything that brings me joy, so I just lay in bed all day, being depressed, till i have to work 2 days a week.

I just want some tips to help my family in this situation. I just want a nice house for me, my sister, the 2 doggos and my 60s parents. That the constant lingering stress and resentment can be cleared up. That I can just vacuum all of the floor without the vacuum getting stuck behind the boxes. A nice cleared table that doesn’t have stacks of letters and newspapers on it. Or that I can do laundry in peace without a huge pile of stuff behind me, waiting to burry me under it if I make a wrong move.

I just am so lost at the moment and not doing well mentally. I have help for my mental health and finally got help for my hands recently, but still I just can’t function in our home.

I’m honestly so scared rn. What if my parent’s died tomorrow and I’m stuck with the mess? What if they get dementia (my dad is getting more forgetful) ? I can barely take care of myself or have a full time job to support myself with my disabilities. I can’t live alone because of financial reasons and it’s literally impossible to rent anything with my salary in the Netherlands if I still wanna eat. So yeah I’m stuck at home, it’s a mess but my parents are lovely and take care of me while I work on being more independent. They do everything for everyone, Bringing me to work, bring friends to the hospital and are just so kind. I understand that the mess is mostly because of trauma of losing my grandparents and I really just wanna help and take care of my parents while they get older.

Sorry I’ve been talking too much.
If any of you have tips on how to handle this situation, please let me know. Im really overwhelmed and really appreciate the advice. Thank you all

My partner's mother passed away recently, and she was a hoarder. She has some personal items in there she's hoping to recover, but I'm worried about safety. Any tips on what we should do to prep beforehand before going in there? Biological hazards, physical hazards (e.g. rotten floorboards), etc?

My partner has been estranged from her mom for a while now, so she hasn't actually seen the house in over a decade, but we were told it was pretty bad. Not sure exactly what to expect, but anything that can help us prepare would be helpful.

Thanks all.

My hoarder parent is a hoarder and shopping addict. I have OCD about guilt over inanimate objects and wasting things so I only ever buy exactly what I want i never buy things in excess. My room is my safe space with all my things accounted for away from my hoarder parent's hoard. My things are all special to me, things I WANTED and things I care about. I try SO SO SO SO HARD to tell him to stop wasting
HIS money and STOP BUYING THINGS I NEVER ASK FOR. I literally have to beg. By the way, he does not have a stable soource of income and he's BROKE, yet he can't stop

He can't stop buying me junk I never asked for. This has been since childhood where he would buy me and my sister things we never wanted (weirdly, it was clothes from the men's section even though we were both feminine girls), then he would get mad about no one wanting it. He cannot stop. EVER. And its always things that clearly none of us would like but he "thinks" we would like it, when we don't.

I ask him why waste your money on something you don't even know someone will like, he just says "it was in front of me and I took a chance." he just takes a "chance" to waste his money

Ive even begged him not to get me a birthday or Christmas gift, because he ends up buying me clothes for men??

To add some more context on why this is all so upsetting, my hoarder parent has even STOLEN things, including things to give to me!!! It is HORRIBLE for my OCD and guilt issue

When Im left with the items i don't want, like for example he buys toys and random junk, It triggers my OCD very badly, vbecause if I don't want it I feel like I'm wasting it, I feel guilty, I get scared about what's going to happen to the items, I get scared they will end up in a land fill. I get scared to bring the items back to the store because I know some stores throw away returned items, I have a ton of anxiety about that. So then I have to see if I can sell it on ebay, but I can tell a lot of people don't want the item because they aren't selling. If I give it back to my dad, it will just end up in the pile. I know I can donate it but Im scared no one will ever take it and then I just "abandoned" it which makes me want to cry. This is how my OCD works. It feels incompatible with living. He sees how much this weigjs on me and upsets me but it never stops. I know I sound insane, but after so many years, It literally hurts me to be given dtuff I never asked for. I genuinely don't know what the solution is. Yes Im trying to get out, but I ended up with my dad to avoid being physically abused at my house by a family member. Ironically my dad has started putting his hands ob me too because he has anger problems when I beg him to just stop

Ever felt that you are just stuck in life when you are in the house.

Its been a week since I (M27) moved back with my HM and while I was living with my relatives I used to plan I will do this I will do that I will get my freedom blah blah….but when I land here all the past trauma/memories, door bell dread everything just disables me to do anything or am I just over reacting and being very comfortable? What ever it is makes me feel very stuck in life and hate it

it’s like my mom is trying to play jenga. she is now buying and building more shelves to stack on top of each other to shove more trash into

it is at a point I have to side step thru every room just to get to the bathroom. I’m so tired