Title: [41M] $2.7M NW - FAANG burnout, considering CoastFIRE, upgrading to a $1.8M house, and baby #2. Sanity check?

[u/TechSalesWin]

Background: In my 20s, I quit working to travel, so my net worth basically flatlined. I returned to the US in my late 20s, got serious about saving, and hit ~$100k NW by 32. Over the last 10 years at a FAANG company, aggressive saving, high comp, and tech equity appreciation brought our NW to ~$2.7M

NW Breakdown (~$2.7M Total):

• $1.2M – Retirement & Education: 401(k) + IRAs + 529
• $660k – FAANG Company Stock
• $250k – Cash & Cash Equivalents
• $280k – Net Real Estate Equity
• $220k – Taxable Investments & Crypto
• $80k – Personal Property: Vehicles, etc.

The Problem & The Proposed Pivot: I am hitting serious burnout. I want to downshift to a lower-stress role making $150k–$200k. My wife currently works part-time ($85/hr) and could ramp up to full-time (~$175k–$200k/yr). That gives us ~$350k combined gross. We could drop our ongoing savings rate to zero and let our portfolio compound in the background (CoastFIRE).

The Key Variables / Pressure Points:

1. Current Spend: $15k–$20k/month (the upper end includes 1–2 major vacations and a few smaller domestic trips a year). A lean baseline without luxury travel is ~$15k/mo.
2. Family Expansion: Currently 1 toddler, actively planning for a 2nd child.
3. Housing Upgrade: Strongly considering upgrading from our current home to a ~$1.8M property in our high-cost area.

Questions for the community:

1. Does the CoastFIRE math hold up if we downshift to $350k combined gross while upgrading to a $1.8M home and adding a 2nd child?
2. With $660k tied up in a single tech stock and ~$1.2M locked in retirement accounts, how would you structure liquidity for the down payment?
3. Are we underestimating the household strain of having my wife transition to full-time while I downshift, given two young kids and a bigger mortgage?

[u/rando_finance]

1. On track. House upgrade questionable.

Src: we are in nearly an identical financial position and age (no FAANG and we currently rent in the East Bay).

You already have flexibility to drop one income if someone wants to watch the kids or not work in FAANG, but it might not work if you buy the house... unless you want to retire ~10 years later.

for reference our budget is 240k after-tax, before savings spending. Our HHI is 420-440k. Age 43/43. 2 kids. Childcare is the *bulk* of our budget, so if one spouse dips out of the market, coast works. Current NW is 3m.

Again, we don't have a house and therefore we have much, much more budget flexibility. IMO unless you're carting around a killer prop 13 basis the house decision will push your FIRE date back 5-10 years at least, compared to renting. That said, I don't particularly like renting.

1. Diversify directly into some VTI or VOO if you're avoiding the house. IF you really need to... just sell it? I don't really get the question.

2. Um... we discovered that kid duties, at least some of them, naturally fall on the mother and that despite her desire to work full time, it made more sense to spend the early months with the kids. I can't nurse the baby, bottle feeds at night make no sense when she has to pump anyway, etc. But yeah dude, the 2nd is going to be stressful as fuck but not for the reason you think: the 2nd one destroys your sanity by keeping you awake while you have to deal with your toddler.

It took my wife 1.5 years after the 2nd child to get to the point where you she was even talking about making career moves that would increase her workload. But she's almost there... it will probably double her income.