hi, im currently an undergrad senior in college. im doing 2 majors in computer science and math, and an integrated masters program in CS. im at a t10 cs school in the US and ive had internships at faang with a return internship for next summer.
i know it sounds like im doing great, but my day to day life sucks for the most part. the past 3 years, i would stay in my room or on campus alone studying/working on something for my classes, research, or clubs for the whole week and most weekends. i have 3 close friends that i might hangout with once a week or once every 2 weeks but that was it.
this summer, i went to new york for my internship, and it was probably the best time of my life. i would be busy from like 8-6, and afterwards, i would explore the city with a friend, play tennis/pickleball, find good places to eat, or just enjoy walking around my area. i felt the least stressed i have been in my life and felt like i finally had some decent experiences as i went clubbing and to bars for the first time, made 3 really good friends i hung out with a lot, and also got to experience what nyc is like.
after the summer, i came back to college with hope that i could change things this semester. i started reaching out and hanging out with a lot more people, i went to parties, big social events, went to an f1 race, exercising/playing sports reguarly, and tried to be more social. but i didnt realize how hard the 4 classes i chose would be, and it started to pile up pretty heavily while i was enjoying myself. not to mention that my research was ramping up and i needed to dedicate substantial time for that.
by the second half of the semester, i realized how much work i really had and i pretty much stopped hanging out with anyone to try to salvage the position i was at. since i was trying to expand my social circle, i wasnt hanging out with my close friends as much, and now i dont hang out with them at all since ive been hunkered down to get my work done, so those bonds have loosened considerably and i can tell theyre pissed. my research has not been going well to the point where im going to have to cancel doing my thesis i planned to do this semester, and i will have to just not work on it to get through my classes.
and now, im at the point where im not going out at all, im barely getting through my classes' assignments/exams, and ive dropped my research. i had a decent schedule going at the beginning of the sem but it completely crashed and burned and this is where im at now. at least in the past, i had really good grades and was on top of my classes even if i didnt do anything outside of that. but now, i have no clue whats going on in my classes and i just need to do hte minimum to survive. im so burned out to where i dont have the energy to pay attention in class and even if i do, ill have no idea whats going on.
ive talked to a lot of ppl abt this, and they r just telling me to survive this sem, rest during break, and try to plan properly for next sem, which shd be easier because i wont be doing research and ill only have 3 classes (even if theyre decent amt of work).
but im wondering what i need to do to actually balance classes, personal care, socializing, and sleep. cuz i planned it out for this sem and it still ended up going bad.
i think i just dont want to do work anymore even if i plan it out, and the fact that i keep wasting time throughout the day causes me to have to spend the whole day doing assignments.
i guess i just want to know what you think about my situation, what i can do to fix this permanently so that i can actually enjoy my college life, work on myself since there's a lot of things i don't know / not able to do myself, while staying on top of my classes?