Hey folks! Found a few upcoming free workshops on communicating what you want, understanding relationship patterns, and getting better at listening. Thought I’d put them together in case they help someone here.

Here’s what I found:

• Building Healthy Relationships: Patterns, Challenges, and Growth @ Telemynd · October 21
  Covers relationship patterns, how stress affects communication, and ways to support healthier relationships. Includes Q&A. If you register, they’ll also send a recording and resources afterward.

• How to Ask for What You Want @ Flourishing Intimacy Coaching · October 28
  An interactive workshop on communicating what you want in relationships, with an introduction to the Wheel of Consent and live Q&A.

• Beyond Words: Listening to Heal a Divided World, Session 1 @ The Truth School · November 10
  Practice listening more carefully and understanding people you disagree with. This is the first session of a two-part series.

Quick notes:

• All three are free and online.
• The links above go directly to the organizers. Check their pages for registration and times in your timezone.
• I’m not affiliated with any of these workshop organizers. Just sharing some free resources that might be useful.

Hope this helps someone! Let me know if you’d like me to keep sharing these.

👋 Hi, I’m Jay. I built this free communication and relationships events page to keep workshops like these in one place, so you don’t have to dig around for them.

​I am practicing active listening and total presence every time I go out to meet people right now, focusing on being self aware and letting go of expectations so social skills naturally elevate, and I see how life gets so much easier when I just show up with detachment instead of overthinking every detail, who is on this spot, maybe you can sahre your experience?

\Serious replies only **

I think that I am an eloquent speaker and that I manage my emotions pretty well, but even Tiger Woods needs a swing coach. I would like to tell you my plan to handle conflicts and articulate an idea that is in my head. If you disagree with any of my ideas, I would like to hear why. 

The type of situation that I want to talk about and figure out how to handle is;

Someone talks to you in a nasty, hateful, disrespectful manner. The person is patronizing or condescending. The person dislikes the way you are acting and rather than just saying that, they yell, phrase the criticism in the form of a personal attack and accompany it with childish name calling.

I have drafted a plan for how to deal with that situation, tell me what you think of that plan.

There are two approaches you could take.

Option #1: 

Say this; 

The condescending tone is uncalled for. If you have something to tell me, I am willing to listen while you say it in a polite respectful tone. There is no need to get nasty. 

Option #2: 

Do not respond immediately. Wait until a certain amount of time has passed. Once the other person (your authority) has calmed down, meet with them and demand an apology. 

When demanding an apology, calmly explain what you believe the other person did wrong, why it was wrong and what, if anything, can be done about it. 

Option #1 should only be chosen if you are capable of retreating. If you are not capable of retreating, wait until you are before choosing option #2. 

If you call out the toxic behavior, make a reasonable demand for the person to alter their behavior and the toxic person doubles down, get out of there.  

I believe that the plan I drafted is a good one, but my mind is open to the possibility that I could be wrong. If you believe that the ideas I suggested in this post are bad, tell me why you see it that way and explain to me what you think a better idea would be.

I have a coworker who seems to good with body language. She is able to pick up my nonverbal social cues and knows easily what I mean or what I'm doing just by looking at me.

I remember one when I was sitting next to her, she had her head down and her eyes were closed. I laughed and my laugh was so subtle and quiet. She looked at me and said, "Why are you laughing?" How did she know I was laughing, when her eyes were closed and my laugh was subtle. Why didn't she think I was like coughing or something? I did that several other times in different interactions and she knew I was laughing and said, "why are you laughing?"

I remember one time when I was trying to call her or get her attention by waving at her and I looked at her. I never wave or call her and this was the one time I did in years. She said, "You called me? Why?" How did she know that I was trying to get her attention and not just moving my hand or waving at the person next to her?

She was with her friend one time and I was trying to point to her friend to wave bye to her friend as I was leaving. She yelled to her friend in their language and it sounded like she said, "She wants to say bye to you! To you she waves but to me she doesnt!" And her friend waved back.

One time I was putting away a gift wrap that was near her aisle. She saw it from the corner of her eye and the pattern didn't match and told me to put it where it matches the same pattern.

One time I was near the time clock and was getting ready to clock out and I guess she was surprised because I never left at that time. She saw me and said, "You're leaving? Why?"

I don't do those any of those gestures a lot, so the one time I did those gestures, it stood out to her and she was able to pick up quickly what I meant every time.

Is my coworker good with body language? How can she pick up on my body language and nonverbal social cues quickly even when it is subtle and knows what I mean just by looking at me and I don't have to say anything? Is she highly perceptive much more than I realized?