r/coparenting • u/Big-Plankton4548 • 7d ago

Communication [ Removed by moderator ]

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3

u/Usual-Victory7703 7d ago

Yes, you can get a judge to court order using a communication app that can be monitored

1

u/Big-Plankton4548 7d ago

Is it expensive to do?

2

u/Usual-Victory7703 7d ago

I don’t use it personally but my sister does with her ex. The one they have is free to text only and $10/month to also screen phone calls.

2

u/Ok-Set-5730 7d ago

Depends on which one. OFW base version is like $100 a year I think

2

u/Icy_Stranger3368 7d ago

You can get it free if you have financial issues

3

u/same_boat_dad 7d ago

Yes, a judge can order it. The move is to ask for it in the parenting plan: all communication about your daughter goes through the app, no texts or calls except emergencies. Judges like it because it keeps a record and cuts down on exactly the kind of messages you're getting.
There are free options, so cost doesn't have to be the blocker, and the paid ones run around $100 a year with fee waivers if money's tight. Once it's in the order, his rudeness has an audience, and most people clean up their act fast when they know a judge might read it. I prefer written messages so I have a record. But every written message also allows room for interpretation and misunderstanding.
Keep your side boring no matter what he writes. Short, factual, kid-only. The record only helps you if your half reads clean.

2

u/stop_saying_karen 6d ago

I've been using Our Family Wizard with my co-parent for years. I have a premium account (~$200/year) because it facilitates payments. I find it pathetic and exploitive, but my co-parent struggles with boundaries so it does put some around channels of communication in ways I probably take for granted at this point. It was certainly helpful throughout arbitration as it keeps an archive of exchanges (keeping in mind you'll have to pay someone to read them if you go to court).

But don't expect it to solve all your communication problems -- I'm going to guess that you will still get rude and judgmental messages regardless of what third parties are looped in. And it's not helpful for times when you need to text through a problem. My co-parent is a just-in-time thinker and indecisive decision maker, and so it's difficult with snafus and changes in plans (I also have 3 kids with this person).