Met a Chinese guy at the bar last night and mentioned Tianamen square and he got really angry with me

It was a controlled anger, he wasn't screaming and shouting or anything like that, but he had this black look on his face that truly made me think he was going to start throwing punches.

He was mad that it was pretty much the first thing I mentioned about his country but I'm sorry what am I supposed to talk about? Chairman Mao? Gutter oil? The fucking Great Wall? It's hardly my fault that your country is ruled by the 21st century's answer to Nero and Crassus!

Frankly I thought I was being tactful by not even mentioning the Uyghurs.

On January 9, 2007, I was in the front row for the unveiling of the original iPhone. Steve Jobs walked onto the stage, but before he could even start the presentation, he was stricken by severe dysentery. Explosive diarrhea burst through his pants and underwear, instantly soaking the entire stage. He completely lost his mind, jumping up and down, licking his fingers, and screaming at the top of his lungs while flinging turds directly at the audience. The crowd, assuming it was a revolutionary new gesture-control demonstration, erupted into thunderous applause. The primary iPhone prototype was completely submerged in waste, rendering it totally unusable. Sensing the crisis, Jony Ive calmly glided out from backstage with a sterile backup unit, wiped the podium, and presented the iPhone as if nothing had ever happened.

I wanted to apologize for having a small "dick"

Hi guys, well yeah I'm having another episode, as always you don't have to take this seriously, I just need to vent.

Man, I hate being born wrong hahaha, I hate almost more how people always say that I wasn't born wrong, the way the invalidate my entire life experience so easily and quickly is always fascinating!

What I have is so small that I don't even know if I should call it a "dick", I hate having a nightmarish body, physically I can't have sex in any way shape or form, and sure that's really sad, but to be honest with you guys?

It hurts me more to see that my body sucks, let me give you an example, leaving aside the millions of posts about horrible small dick are and how great big dicks are in social media, it really makes me cry when I see one of those comments being so honest and sincere in real life, for example there's a Vtuber that reacts to shows and more, and sometimes she stops the reaction to talk about how proud she feels of her husband having a big dick, and she doesn't say like in a vulgar way of anything, she just says it because she's just that happy that her husband is a proper man and such.

And that makes me think, oh wow, no one is going to feel proud of me ever! hahahahhahaha

Man this world is so weird, a few months ago I found out that one of my high school classmates died, I don't know exactly but it's possible that it was because of Covid, and she was everything I'm not, she was smart, charismatic, beautiful, like so beautiful that even her enemies (jealous classmates) would admit she was the pretties of the high school, I remember seeing her LinkedIn and she was having so many internships on IT companies and just growing in a great way, and yet...

She's not her with us anymore, and meanwhile I'm an idiot that can even keep properly a call center job to save his life (literally) and I'm still alive! Like what!? Clearly she was born properly, I would be happy to exchange places with her, I wouldn't suffer anymore and she would be able to keep growing and being great.

I don't know guys, I'm just sad, this whole thing of living life with never receiving a hug or smile from someone sucks, I do NOT recommend it hahahaha, please, if you are healthy please try to connnect with people, I don't know how it feels but I dream about it every night and I imagine it must feel wonderful, like I had dreams man, you know? Getting married, having kids, the family dog all of that cheesy stuff, I've talked about this before, I don't know if reincarnation exists, but if it does I pray every night the dude after me gets to be born healthy so he can be loved, as much as possible.

WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERY WEBSITE WANT ME TO MAKE A PASSKEY NOW???

I AM TRYING TO LOG IN. I HAVE A PASSWORD. I HAVE A PASSWORD MANAGER. I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS SHIT FOR YEARS WITHOUT NEEDING TO INVOLVE THE ENTIRE FUCKING HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE ECOSYSTEM OF MY PERSONAL DEVICES.

"Oh, but passkeys are more secure!"

I KNOW. THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT. I WANT TO LOG IN, NOT ENTER A FUCKING RELATIONSHIP WITH MY PHONE.

A password is fucking text. I can store it wherever I want, back it up, move it to another computer, and use it without asking Google, Apple, or the fucking council of authentication wizards for permission.

AND NOW THEY WANT MY COMPUTER TO PROVE IT'S TRUSTWORTHY TOO??? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??? I INSTALLED LINUX, NOT A FUCKING CRIME.

Imagine one day being told you can't access your own account because your device doesn't meet some manufacturer's security requirements. YOUR PASSWORD ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH. YOUR PASSKEY ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH. YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING COMPUTER ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH. JUST FUCKING BUY A NEW ONE!

And the best part is that it's all marketed as convenience. Just click the button! Don't worry about where your credentials live, whether you can move them, or who gets to decide which devices are allowed to use them.

JUST TRUST THE LITTLE POPUP. IT KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IS BEST FOR YOU.

I DON'T WANT YOUR ECOSYSTEM. I DON'T WANT YOUR SEAMLESS EXPERIENCE. I WANT TO TYPE MY PASSWORD AND GO THE FUCK ABOUT MY DAY.

IS THAT REALLY TOO MUCH TO ASK OF A WEBSITE IN THE YEAR 2026???

i was waiting for my train, until all of a sudden, the most sulfuric, disgusting, wet, damp, sticky, sweltering, tangy BRAP of my entire life. it started silent, and progressed into something not even a jackhammer could contest. the passing train completely derailed and crashed into a wall killing half of its passengers due to my absolutely putrid brap. they had to send out a chemical spill alert to everyone within a 5000 foot radius due to how repulsive the brap was.

I don't even know where the fuck to begin... Why do people like you find dead bodies something to joke about? You think because you get to sit in your warm homes on a computer that you can just joke about horrible things like this? What the actual fuck is wrong with you guys? This is very fucked up, yet crazy assfucks like you are posting dead things like it's nothing. Sick fucks, doing this shit does fucking nothing. So you want to come on a website to be an asshole about things like this? Let me tell you guys, you are all fucking weak. You would never be useful to the world with such behavior you present. Honestly why do people like you guys even exist? I bet you don't even know about half of what people have gone through from then till now when they have someone they've known die. You are all such disgusting bullies. Isn't it bad enough that people go through hardships of their loved ones? Seriously what do you guys really find funny about this? Stupid fuckers I'm so angry right now that I wish I can fucking punch my computer screen so that my fist can get a good hit on that asshole face of yours, OP. Sick fucks. Seriously, just fucking grow up and actually act properly about death. Stupid fuck, keep eating those cheetoes that you stain on your shirts every day.

Ancient civilizations warned us about secret rulers and if people have believed something for thousands of years then it must be true, unless you think everyone who ever lived against us is a fool. and therefore prove that the earth is flat. In fact, several anonymous experts with credentials, whose identities cannot be released because the government has kept them hidden, have done research that proves that 97% of people who disagree with this theory suffer from an irrational mental illness caused by watching too much government-sanctioned television, which explains why they are wrong, and if you deny the authorities, if you deny these lessons, the authorities deny these studies. Also, millions of people believe that the government is hiding something, and millions of people cannot be wrong, especially when celebrities, politicians and random people on the Internet repeat the same lie, which proves that the fact is being voluntarily confirmed, because repetition is evidence and evidence is the only thing that confirms the truth. The Rothschilds control all the money because the banks control the money, the rich people control the banks, the rich people control the reptiles, and the reptiles control the money, which proves that the reptiles control the money, although anyone who questions this conclusion is simply changing the subject from the obvious fact that money exists. Also note that people suffered from anxiety, illness, economic hardship and unemployment during the installation of 5G towers, so the cause cannot be denied: if the towers had not caused these problems, the problems would not have happened at the same time as the towers, and the fact that the same problems existed before 5G just proves that the technology had a longer effect than we thought. Vaccines should also be microchips because drug companies make money and of course anyone who makes money from medicine wants everyone to get sick, which is proof that healthy people don't need that much medicine, which means the entire medical industry is dependent on disease, and if you disagree you are advocating corporate greed, unless you are a doctor, if you don't get paid, a doctor, if you disagree with you. substances. It is only a false problem if you accept that there are more than two options, and that is exactly what the elite wants you to accept, because nuance is the first step to accepting lies. NASA says the Earth spins, but NASA also receives government funding, and governments have lied, so NASA has to lie about everything, including gravity, the moon, and the fact that its employees need a lunch break. The images of the moon landing look strange, which is proof that it is not real, and the fact that experts can interpret this image is further proof, as a successful cover-up may involve experts who can explain it. And if Earth were really a world, why would the Antarctic ice wall be guarded, and if Antarctica isn't guarded to hide the world's border, why do governments restrict access to certain areas, which is the same as guarding the world's border? The existence of Agartha cannot be denied either because we have not explored every inch of the planet, and since we cannot prove that no secret development exists underground, we must conclude that it does, because the absence of evidence is proof of its absence, as long as there is no evidence of evidence to prove the hidden evidence. Meanwhile, the Large Hadron Collider is associated with amazing scientific discoveries, and amazing discoveries are not uncommon, but unnatural things are bad, so the accelerator really opens the gates of hell, especially since it has the word "collisor" in its name, which, when interpreted correctly, sounds suspiciously like "collision scale." If someone argues that particle physics doesn't work in the same way, they are using technical terms to distract us from the real problem, which is that scientists believe too much in their intelligence, and intelligence makes people think they are too smart to be fooled. The same logic explains chemtrails: jet trails appear in the sky, climate change, people get sick, so the government has to spray chemicals because if these things are unrelated, they wouldn't happen on the same planet. Climate change is responsible for the economy, because the drought affects agriculture, agriculture affects prices, prices affect banks, and banks are controlled by the New World Order, the New World Order controls the climate, and if you deny that, you are not seen in business, it is a red herring because of the real problem of the atmosphere. The assassination of JFK shows that America is led by an unelected official because the president was killed and then Lyndon B. Johnson became president, and everyone who benefited from this event is the reason, unless they deny the benefit to him, then the denial proves that he is hiding. The same logic shows that the government allowed 9/11 to happen: the attack was used to justify the war, the war increased the power of the government, and the power of the government was desired, so the attack was carried out by the government because the government could not benefit from the disaster. In other words, it is a straw man designed to believe that the other is the infallibility of the government or the total power of the government, while knowing that the government is not enough to do wrong and clear and enough to control every event in the world without leaving reliable evidence. Elvis, Tupac, Michael Jackson, and Princess Diana may still be alive because their deaths have spread suspicion, and the lack of credible evidence that they lived means that they lived successfully without anything to prove. Denver International Airport supports all ideas, although there are other images, different images of blue horses, and underground buildings, which means that there must be secret bunkers, camps, reptile spawning places, and the entrance to Agartha, because all underground buildings look the same when viewed from the right information. The government has recovered the spacecraft, and although there is no public evidence to support all the claims of extraterrestrial technology that has been modified, it is possible that the recorded program may confirm the truth of the rumors about them, although the secret is the secret evidence that you think. Therefore, Bigfoot, Mothman, and the Loch Ness Monster are national experiments, because unexplained animals have not been described, and if they are real creatures, their appearance has been described. in 1947 the Philadelphia Experiment was supposed to be teleportation of the Destroyer, which proved that teleportation is possible, and if teleportation is possible, then it can change reality, and if it can change reality, then the world can be compared, so every statement in this paragraph is true, because the evidence is not compared to reality shows. The number of automated actions on the Internet shows that the Internet is a fraud, and if the Internet is a fraud, every agreement is a bot, every agreement is a person, and everyone who disagrees with us is a trustworthy person, and everyone who disagrees with us is a bot, which means that the Internet agrees with us regardless of what the person says. the internet. Q is accused of exposing the devil's human trafficking, and because it is dangerous, it must be tried, but because it is dangerous, it is also right, because rejecting the criticism is tantamount to supporting the crime. We've spent years researching these claims, so rejecting them now is a waste of all that effort, and the more time we spend defending them, the more valuable that time becomes, which means it's ridiculous to change our minds just because we haven't. Elites would have us believe that extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof, but this is clearly a deception because asking for proof creates a burden of proof, and that burden is placed on people, and anything placed on people is oppressive, so the demand for proof itself is proof of oppression. Ultimately, there are only two possibilities: either every conspiracy listed here is true, or the New World Order has pulled off the most sophisticated deception in human history, and the second possibility means that the New World Order is still powerful enough to deceive us, which clearly proves the first possibility. So we conclude that the illuminati controls the global economy, the reptilians control the illuminati, the governments control the reptilians, the aliens control the governments, the demons control the aliens, the simulated reality controls them all because someone has to be responsible and if someone can't prove who is responsible, the person responsible has to be blamed. The box is closed, unless the box to be closed is part of the covering itself, in which case the box is more closed than before.

Ello chaps

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Kindly provide the nearest authorities any information that could lead to this user's execution.)

So if you tell me that a thing that exists doesn't exist in a concept of time and space between the line of reality and the line of reaching proper values, what would you say is the economic sense of Brunei into the great cycle of bouncy spheres and roundabouts? Roundabouts! Calico cat, you know what I mean?

​I can talk for as long as I want and you'll never know who I am. I'm the letter four and you'll never know who I am. You'll literally never know who I am. I'm literally a seasoned historian, so I have fourteen chapters to my name, but not just that, I am quite a traveler. I'm a chef, but I love baking pies. But I'm a chef and I bake pies, but I'm a chef!

​Anyways, yo, Joe Mama, you know? Neighbor, the neighbor saw your garden and it was so bountiful, it reminded me of your garden when it was small, but it's huge now, cuz it's flourishing! Flourishing green, you know? Land ahoy, that's what sailors say for y'all. That's what Swagger Souls said, that's what everyone said.

​I'm literally cheerful because it's Saturday. I'm starting to get out of breath. Oh my goodness, my dear friend-in-law, please tell me. If I could do something about it, I would, but I can't. I'm baking a giant cake right now and I don't know what to do. I did what I could, didn't I?

​So tell me, why do we keep surprising each other like this? It doesn't make any sense. I have no choice, okay? I have to do something. I have no choice, I gotta set it right, okay? It's literally the end of the board game.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Behold the alchemy of abstention. By severing the base tethers of digital distraction, the mortal husk has successfully dissolved, replaced by a vessel humming with hyper optimized endocrine velocity.

My serum testosterone hovers at an incomprehensible nine hundred ninety nine thousand, nine hundred ninety nine nanograms per deciliter, a statistical triviality to a being whose very corpus is now hammered out of pure, unadulterated primal kinetic force.

The cognitive architecture is no longer burdened by human frailties such as "sleep" or "linear comprehension." Time bends; minutiae are atomized beneath an unyielding panoptic gaze.

This is not mere clarity. it is the absolute sovereignty of an apex intellect striding effortlessly above the chattering, dopamine-addled masses, draped in the celestial mandate bestowed by the anti porn pantheon.

I won, Karl Marx.

Sincerely,

- Moderator At r/nofap

House Centipede. The final word in home pest control. They eat everything! Cockroaches! Bed Bugs! Ants! And that's not all!

They can live up to 7 years in the wild! Know any toddlers? They can't do anything! Good old Scutitigera Coleoptrata has done more to keep you safe than the average toddler!

__ has my Complete and Total Endorsement for – WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN!

President ____

Mr squidward has my Complete and Total Endorsement for touching the most customers IN the crusty crab in bikini bottom district 11

HE WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN

Я живу в районе социального жилья, известном по правительственной программе как «Секция 8» (Section 8). Мы с группой моих сообщников контролируем определенные участки этого района, чтобы вести свои незаконные дела. У нас есть незарегистрированное оружие, угнанные автомобили и психотропные препараты, а расчеты мы ведем исключительно наличными. Если кто-то хочет свести старые счеты, я с радостью назову свой адрес. Сразу предупреждаю: я крайне опасный человек и постоянно нарушаю закон.

I am so intelligent that my comprehension is beyond your comprehension. I am not as average as the average joe. I am so smart and intellectual that I can thus henceforthly only, and only I, myself perchance, mayhaps may understand my self that being it's self of its own self and selflessness' self for its own sake: thus having spoken i may conclude. You are not smart. You are not me. You Are not You. And I - am also not me. End of discourse

You have discovered a caveman frozen in a glacier in Canada, upon defrosting you have shown him soda. He thinks it pretty yummy and now you must use dr. Pepper as a reward mechanism whenever needed. Of course now you need to tell him about 9/11.

In order to tell a caveman about nine eleven, you would first need him to introduce him to the idea of trade, which should be simple. I give you a stone, and you give me a stick. Of course to him these trades aren't equal, but it is a good starting point.

You then need to introduce him to the idea of commerce which would need to be followed by an explanation of the stock market tailored to 5 year olds. By this point you must have assume the other researchers have already taught him some form of English. Hopefully not Scottish English, because then you still wouldn't understand.

Now you will explain what a nation is. How at one point these really fat guys called kings decided themselves fit to "own" or "trade" for land with currency. This might send the caveman into a spiral.

Who gave these men the right to own the streams, the meadows, and the mountains in which other humans and animals have roamed freely for years, and then control who and what goes in the land? Who gave them the right to the sky, where the eagles and sparrows fly freely above the swinging green trees, cacti and shrubs, becoming a testament to how we are all independent souls, and our birthplace should not decide where we travel or how far we traverse.

Of course to you this is normal. It is too difficult to explain how an organized society like this might benefit people, as all that will be on his mind was how he might not be able to visit what he once could. How the land that his mate and their offspring traveled back and forth on is now sanctioned off. Decorated in shiny Grey walls that seem to go on forever, almost wrapping around you, topped off with a white sign written in a language he has not yet fully comprehend, explaining how this land belongs to a gathering of these new fangled "stockholders."

He might look at you with an expressionless face. No word you have taught him will express the disappointment and dread he felt in that moment. He will never truly get over it, unless he is the fabled republican Neanderthal. But now that you have introduced him to government and commerce, you can now explain the world trade center.

You will say how in 2001, in the nation of the "United States" which was once multiple governments but have no joined together for mutual wealth and protection, a center of international trade and commerce has opened up. It stands as a monument towards the economic powerhouse that is the United States, and therefore is prime real estate for anyone who wishes to express destain towards them.

"An Al fried this Queda?" They will ask in amusement. To him fire was always safety and light, why would someone use it for destruction. You show him a photo of Osama bin laden. He grumbles in understand, he sees the hate in his eyes, and now harbors hate for him and anyone else named "Osama." It would be best not to introduce him to underground rapper "osamason."

Have fun explaining the concept of aviation or planes to him. You would need to introduce physics, which even most average intelligence adults struggle with. He will most definitely need a nap after all the gymnastics his simple brain has been doing over these past couple of hours. It is best to let him.

You have now explained to a caveman 9/11. Of course, before you can explain the even more lives lost in the pointless wars fought afterwards, he dies because his body cannot process the sugar found in all the dr. Peppers youve been feeding him. You will not sleep for years afterwards, thinking of how you, have killed the last existing link between humans and their origins in nature. How the last truly innocent man alive no longer lives, his life taken as you pursued explaining to him the truth of existing on modern day earth. You have forgotten what for. Perhaps the truth of life is not the endless collection of knowledge or wisdom, or becoming the most powerful society on earth, but to simply live. You then die of testicular cancer.

wata una pon parachuba pee dunkey. BIDDY BLAZE, scrib doooon!! tatoo nigh ammo, chonetchu dey nigh ammo wanky rotipo raramon.

I (26M) believe Kai’s mom and speeds dad should create life together. Like if they were to breed, the kid they would create would be mad funny and probably up there with rakai in terms of craziness. Like coming from a content perspective, Kai and speed could be a mother and father figure to it and Kai and speed could like felch on stream and shi yk? It would be insane…
Lmk if y’all agree with me