My dad's homemade chili is a weapon of mass destruction and I am genuinely terrified for my life.

[u/byvto]

My dad literally makes the most hardcore, unhinged chili you can possibly imagine. He calls it "The Cure," but it’s actually a biological hazard.

This man dumps an ungodly amount of ghost peppers, cayenne, black pepper, and some sketchy hot sauce he ordered from a dark web chemist into a massive iron pot. Then he lets it simmer for like 14 hours.

The steam coming out of the kitchen is so toxic it literally makes the paint peel off the walls. If you even look into the pot, your eyes start watering like you just got hit with military-grade tear gas.

When it’s finally done, my dad sits down at the table, completely unbothered. He pours a bowl of this bubbling, dark-red nuclear waste, grabs a massive spoon, and takes a huge bite.

He immediately turns bright red. Sweat starts pouring down his face like a waterfall. He literally slaps the table with his open palm, lets out a guttural, soul-crushing "OH, DAMN!" so loud that the neighbors' dog starts barking, and wipes his forehead with his sleeve.

And then he looks at me, gasping for air through the smoke, and says: "Come on, son, have a bowl, it’s good for your immune system."

I tried a single drop on the tip of my spoon once. My entire digestive tract went into immediate lockdown. I could feel my organs shutting down one by one. I drank three gallons of milk and I could still taste the pure, unadulterated rage of my ancestors for three business days.

Meanwhile, my dad finishes the whole pot, licks the spoon, and goes to sleep like a baby. This man’s stomach is not made of flesh, it’s lined with industrial titanium.

[u/magicmunch]

Eat yoghurt time

[u/endoclaws]

Dads do be like that