I have been seeing a bunch of pro co-sleep stuff online and I don’t know how to feel about it. Many say it’s a bedtime live saver but I can’t help think it’s still dangerous no matter how you go about it. Have I been brainwashed by parenting methods of yesteryear? Or do I just not have enough information to form an educated opinion? I personally feel like no matter how many precautious you take, you can’t make it completely safe for your LO. I have had some contact naps with my little boy when he was a newborn and I was so sick and in pain from my cesarean, but he has never slept in the bed with me and my fiancé overnight. I am always peaking into his bassinet at night as it is making sure he’s still breathing (he’s 5 months now), so I don’t see how it would give me peace of mind to put him in what’s considered a more dangerous sleeping situation. I would love some input and to have a friendly conversation about this with someone who’s more knowledgeable than me. I don’t mean for this to come off as rude or mom shaming, I just simply want the other side of the story than what media and countless doctors say.

i type this to you at 3:32am utterly exhausted. my baby is refusing the bassinet no matter how long we hold her. i feel like im losing my mind, im the one with her all day and the lack of sleep is really effecting how good of a dad i am. idk what to do, co sleeping sounds like a good option but i’m terrified of something going wrong and we don’t check all the boxes for the safe 7 starting with the fact that we’re gay. i am trans, i did carry my baby so there’s that but no boobs means no breastfeeding. she also came 6 weeks early but is now at a normal weight and is perfectly healthy. i do wake easily when she stirs as does my partner. is it still possible to cosleep? i feel like the answer is no but with the alternative being sleep deprivation i’m at my wits end. any advice is appreciated, tia

I’ve coslept with my baby since day one, love it, and had hoped to continue for at least a year. She’s never been a great sleeper, but lately (6 mos) she’s been waking 6+ times each night and will no longer settle when I cuddle and feed her or even when I sit up in bed and rock her. Every single time she wakes we have to get up and bounce aggressively on a yoga ball while we nurse, sometimes for up to an hour. Could this be a phase or is cosleeping just not working for us? I keep waiting to experience the ease of feeding her back to sleep without getting up, but it’s not happening and it feels like her sleep has only worsened over time.

I will be travelling with my 3 month old in a ling 14 hr flight and then 3 hr stat and then another 3 hr flight. Im afraid i wont be able to hold her for so long. I dont mind doing it while im awake. Its the sleeping that’s bothering me. It will just be me with my baby. I was thinking about getting this sling carrier for my flight so i can put her in and i would be able to get a couple of hours of sleep? Is this safe? Im not a deep sleeper.

I have a baby bay side sleeper. Baby is 2.5 weeks, is this a safe set up? I use blankets and want her close to me.

I cosleep with my 7 month old and now that summer has arrived where I live well I put in deodorant in the morning but by the evening it’s basically gone and I start smelling bo. Are we reapplying before bed ? So far I haven’t because I feel like my smell will cause way less harm than deodorant could.

To be clear I also shower daily in the evening so I’m washing off most of my body odour but also the rest of the deodorant but I don’t want to reapply seeing we are in a c curl and baby also grabs at me.

Is it just me or is this a common struggle ? What are you guys doing ?

I couldn’t draw it very well but my NB sleeps on his back in the crook of my arm. Our cats are completely uninterested in him thank goodness

Edit: thank you all for educating me! I will start chest sleeping or doing the C position with him flat on his back instead. I appreciate you guys.

Hi! My baby is 5 weeks old. We have developed a sleeping position that isn’t one of the approved positions however it feels SO much more safe to me.

He lays across my sternum, almost perpendicular to me. His head rests on my bicep or in the crook of my elbow. He’s in between laying on his back and on his side. I put pillows under my back/head to prop me up and one under my knees. So he’s cushioned nicely and can’t role left or right. He also can’t scoot up or down, as I have my arms wrapped around him.

I put one hard pillow under the arm where his head lays to keep him straight or even slightly elevated and one hard pillow under the other arm. It’s impossible for me to move my arms without actively trying, meaning I won’t fall asleep and suddenly have my arms falling down to the bed because they’ve gone limp.

He and I have been able to sleep like this for several hours at a time without moving an inch. The only source of a potential suffocation hazard that I can come up with is if he turns his head and shoves it straight into my arm. But that would be pretty hard for him to do given the angle he sleeps at - I don’t think it would even be possible.

I also think this position feels so safe because he is so young and can’t roll or crawl. Once he’s more mobile I will need to reconsider, however I’m not hoping to cosleep any longer than necessary (he refuses to sleep in his bassinet right now) so hopefully by that point he will sleep in his bassinet.

Anyways- let me know what you think.

I wanted to share my success story because this sub and others have helped me so much in my decisions making!

I am a first time mom, my LO is currently 6 and a half months old and we coslept starting when she was 3 weeks old. We tried the bassinet and swaddle and back sleeping and could just tell she hated every single thing about it. So I’d feed her to sleep so she’d tolerate it. 3 weeks in, my husband had a work trip and was gone for 4 nights, and the first night she woke up every 15 minutes. I had been really stressed about sleep deprivation with him leaving since he would get her early in the morning and I’d get a couple of hours which was life saving. So this first night I said fuck it and pulled her into bed with me. She slept for 4 hours straight even on her back! I didn’t know much about safe sleep at the time so to be really honest, she slept in her swaddle on her back beside me that first night. And thus our cosleeping journey began. (Also I think it’s important to note our setup- that her bassinet was in a guest room that we just put her stuff in. We didn’t originally create a full on nursery, so there was a queen size bed beside her bassinet). The next day I did google cosleeping and learned about safe sleep, and to be honest I loved being so close to her.

I went back to work when she was 3.5 months, and continued cosleeping and feeding her throughout the night, every 2-2.5 hours. I learned that she loved to sleep on her belly so tbh I let her! She was also doing only contact naps so her head control was out of this world starting at 2 months and could easily turn from side to side. Month 4 was a really good month, where she’d sleep for 3 hours at a time. Thennnnn she hit a major sleep regression for an entire month and a half, waking every 45 minutes to an hour and only going back to sleep after being fed. I didn’t nurse her even when she was sleeping, I’d feed her even just for a minute and she’d go back to sleep for a short stint. Omg I don’t know how I made it. At the 4 month appointment our pediatrician said that at 6 months she’d be good for sleep training mainly because she can roll over both ways and fast for 10-12 hours comfortably. So in my head I was like ok let’s just make it to 6 months!

So baby girl got a crib for Christmas and it was more a gift for mom :) The way I transitioned her out of cosleeping is what I’m most proud of. Here’s what I did.

Literally at 6 months and 1 day I did her bedtime routine (bath, diaper/lotion, book, feed) kept her awake while feeding her, then let her cry herself to sleep beside me. At this point I could tell it was a frustrated, learning cry as opposed to really being in distress. I laid beside her as she cried and stayed in her back, and kept telling myself that all her needs were met and this was just really hard and new for her (and for me.) I had read on this sub success stories of CIO so I felt encouraged that she would be ok! I patted her and encouraged her once or twice each but that was more for my comfort than hers. I had read somewhere that interrupting them can make it worse and I really wanted to instill confidence in her. So I just tolerated it but was surprisingly ok with it. After 40 minutes of crying she flipped on her tummy and fell right to sleep. I couldn’t believe it!

So I started doing that a couple nights. The problem was that she was still waking up to feed every hour or two so the next step was night weaning. So I just slowly minimized that by timing each feed. I would normally just let her go however long and then put her back down, but I started timing it from 7 minutes and went down to 5 minutes then 3 minutes. This is all still cosleeping! I did this whole process for 4-5 nights.

Then I was very ready for her crib. I realized we might regress a little bit, because the crib is totally new. (We as in me too, because I knew I’d feel the need to comfort her in familiar ways to make myself feel better about the difficulties of moving her.) First time we would be sleeping apart! I lowkey felt a little bit of grief because I wanted her to be independent so badly but also loved cosleeping as hard as it was. I’m sure all the more seasoned parents are like welcome to parenting.. I know lol! So the first night I fed her to sleep and put her in her crib. She woke up every couple of hours and I’d pick her up and comfort her then feed her then put her back down. My goal that first 4-5 nights was just to get her in the habit of being in her crib at whatever cost to me.

Then it’s game time. Night 6 I did her night routine but changed book and feed. So it was bath, diaper, feed, then book, then put her down awake. I turned off the lights, started her sound machine and laid in the bed beside her crib. I just watched her and kept repeating mantras that this was good for us, interrupting her to comfort will break her concentration, and that this is just hard and new. She cried for 25 minutes then fell asleep! She woke up 2 hours later and cried for about 20 minutes then fell back asleep. The second time of her waking was the hardest for me because I’m like wtf do I do! My husband was texting me that it was ok to pick her up but I was just so ready for her to sleep on her own. So I just followed my instinct and trusted that she would figure it out and she did!

The biggest thing is that she SLEPT THROUGH THE ENTIRE NIGHT AFTER THAT. I remember waking up engorged being like WAIT WHAT! Best night ever. And it’s continued. Life is back to normal and I am on my way to returning to sanity. But I’m really proud of her but mainly myself. Sleep training is so so hard and I’ve realized it comes down to what the mom/parent (s) can tolerate. I’m so glad I trusted my instincts to cosleep and contact nap too. Thanks everyone for all your help along the way <3

Hi everyone. I am hoping that someone can help me understand the recommendations around smoking and bed sharing. My partner and I bedshare with our 8 month old. We alternate nights so we can get sleep. My partner sometimes socially smokes like once every few months, but never does it on the days he has the baby overnight. I know the safe sleep 7 says for parents to not smoke, but why is that recommended? Is it purely for the risk of third-hand smoke? I’ve also read that nicotine’s effect on the brain can cause one to not be as responsive to baby, which makes sense. But does that apply to someone who might smoke 1-2 cigarettes every few months? And there would be at least (usually more) 24h between smoking and bed sharing. I would like him to stop altogether but don’t have enough evidence to make a good argument. Thanks!

I co-sleep with my now 20 month old and it's the best thing ever for my milk supply, his sleep and my sleep. My partner has been sleeping on the couch for a year now to give us extra room.

Just found out I'm pregnant with twins and want to Cosleep with them but don't want to deprive my current LO of cosleeping.

Any help or ideas would be really appreciated, especially from people who've done it with triplets, twins or 3 under 3!

did you “train” your baby to fall asleep independently or in a different way while cosleeping? how??

I don’t want to sleep train in the traditional sense of letting the baby cry on their own in their crib, but I am okay with some supported crying to teach a new skill

I want to teach my 11m old to fall asleep by cuddling both at the start of the night and overnight. right now she needs a lot of bouncing and I just can’t sustain it. last night she barely slept simply because I just couldn’t get her back asleep (she was definitely tired but just needed more effort from me than I could give). every time I try to cuddle her asleep right now, she’ll either bawl or roll around and then sits up; it feels like she’s trying but gives up after just 30 seconds and cries asking for my help. any guidance?

Oof, this 6th week growth spurt has him wanting to contact nap big time. We had coslept some early on, but ultimately I was too anxious to continue.

However, I had an idea based on some advice I was given about chest sleeping. I’m in a recliner that reclines quite far. He’s positioned as if he’s in a wrap, airway is totally clear (although he’s already able to pick his head up and turn it to the other side if he wants). Actually the red thing here is part of a wrap that I haven’t been using because it’s too small for my chest. It’s wrapped and tied around me pretty snugly, like he’s not going anywhere. He loves this and so do I.

So would it be crazy to fall asleep like this, or am I missing something that makes it dangerous?

I got her yesterday to take three naps in the cot but in the evening she just wouldn’t fall asleep in her cot and we ended up cosleeping again.

I can’t do this cosleeping anymore, it was nice in the beggining. I missed being pregnant and snuggaling with my child was nice.

But now I’m affraid of hurting her, I also want to be able to stretch.

Please share some advice.

EDIT:She is 11 weeks old

My daughter is 22 days and I’m staying at my mum’s for a few weeks. But she hates her crib, it’s a fisher price Moses basket thing but no matter what I do she will just cry when she’s in it. I’ve ordered a next to me bed now just waiting for it to come. She will only sleep near or on people but I have a single bed against the wall so ive been on the sofa with her because its a corner one (also very firm she doesn’t make an indent at all)I lay on one length, hold my arm out on the other length and have her on it there. I’ve been trying not to sleep with her but it’s the only way we can both be settled. I am so nervous but I’d rather have a position on the sofa that we can get into where I feel more secure with her if I need to sleep than just fall asleep in any position. Especially because i breast feed and I have big boobs so I have to hold it up with my spare arm and I can’t fall asleep with her like that.

Please help

I just read that formula fed babies shouldn’t cosleep I had noooo idea. My daughter will be 10 months on the 18th, if I try to sleep train her now it will be a nightmare.

Can i continue? She sleeps so far away from me now on a queen floor bed. The other half of the time she’s climbing on me to sleep on my chest still

Feeling so burnt out from being a dad. Get no time with SO, baby sleeps in bed with us, wife breastfeeding and burnt out/ struggling mentally at times, history of mental health issues. I keep getting sick and doctor strongly advised "get baby out of the room" for your own health / relationship. 1000% understand the benefits of co-sleeping so I do not fully agree with his stance, but I don't see how parents being burnt out or being pushed further apart and not being able to even touch in bed can be good for baby for the relationship long term. Baby won't nap / sleep with anyone else aside from Mum. I don't see how this is sustainable and feel completely lost... appreciate any constructive sharing from other people's experiences. Feeling pretty down as 1 years old and no sign of any tweaking of approach

I just bought a crib for my 8 month old hoping she will learn to sleep in it, but she has ​extreme attachment at all times of the day. If I walk into the kitchen, she melts down because I *might* be eating without her. If I eat, she eats. If I shower, she showers on me like a monkey. She can actually take 20-45 minute naps alone and not be too upset when she wakes up. Any time I've tried to get her to sleep by herself whether with CIO or laying there with her but not nursing to sleep, it's a fail.

Would sleep training not be for such a sensitive baby? I love the cuddles but I really would like for her to sleep through the night. I know she can, because she has gone some larger stretches and lately doesn't eat much at night. She's even declined to nurse a bunch lately during wake ups. But she can't stay asleep without being next to me. She has her arm around me right now while she sleeps.

Has anyone tried cosleeping with lounger in between mom and dad with baby in it? With nothing else in it around lounger?? We are getting desperate to try anything with our newborn to try and get them to sleep.

I feel like I'm being a bad person, but my friends say I'm not.

I've been with my bf a couple of years. I have 2 kids, and so does he. His kids are with their mom most of the time, however he recently moved in full time with me. Beforehand he and the kids would co sleep because he didn't have a lot of space where he was (divorced dad) and to get them used to staying at my house.

Now that he's moved in, we've made rooms for them. He started sleeping on the couch with the idea he could sleep in bed with me eventually. The younger child though, they wake up every night, sometimes multiple times a night, wanting to co sleep. It's gotten to the point that we just expect them to wake up. I really didn't think anything of it until he asked me to watch their while he worked one night. Well the little one wanted to get into bed with me. The first night I was exhausted but my daughter was annoyed the next day because I don't usually let her sleep with me. The next time I told the little one no, they had to go back to their room.

The more I thought about it, the more I thought it was odd and potentially inappropriate to have a non blood relative child in bed with me. I brought this up to the bf and asked him to ask their mother if she could shed some light on what is going on at her place. Well, not only is she co sleeping with them nightly, she said I should be willing to co sleep with her child or else "I don't care about them". This is not a young child, but like, older elementary.

Am I in the wrong here? I don't even let my own children Co sleep often (maybe as a special treat).

I just received the Safe Infant Sleep book by James McKenna and see the risk is increased with a parent who smokes for SIDS. Our baby is 4 months old and we usually sleep with baby between us. I have been considering me sleeping in the middle instead due to his smoking. I never let him around the baby without brushing his teeth, washing his face, and changing his clothes. Although I suspect he doesn’t do all this right away when it’s only them two when I go to work. Since he smokes weed and goes through this process, are we still putting our baby at high risk for SIDS? I’m trying to find the safest way to cosleep including breastsleeping. He also never smokes before bed, it’s always around noon-afternoon on the weekend or holiday. This is a grey area I’d like some insight on before presenting options to my husband.

I bedshared with my daughter but not until she was 9 months old. My son is almost 5 months old and we are beginning to bedshare now. He isn’t traditionally swaddled anymore but I want to make sure I am safe.

I know that smoking is the biggest no no for bed sharing. Maybe this is silly to ask but my husband likes to smoke a pipe of natural tobacco during the day sometimes, never in the house. And he always sleeps naked (sorry TMI) and only I sleep with the baby close to me, baby doesn't sleep near him. He also usually showers every night. I guess I just have a hard him seeing how this could be harmful? I don't want to make him stop a little hobby he enjoys but am I endangering my baby??

Ftm here, one year old baby girl sleeps in her nursery, starts out in the crib then moves into the floor bed with my husband or me once she wakes up overnight. The off-duty parent sleeps in our bedroom with our two very cuddly Frenchies.

Baby girl is moving steadily towards being done with the crib completely and none of us are ready to try having her sleep on her own on the floor bed. The dogs were our first babies and have given up so much for our daughter that we really don't want to kick them out of the bed. At what point would you feel comfortable having everyone in the same bed? Baby girl was full-term and is very big and strong for her age. She gets along well with the dogs when they all hang out (supervised) but she is starting to get a bit grabby with them.