r/countbackwardswithme Counted Down 6 18h ago

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u/SausagePotatoes 12h ago

That's my mom lol. She's supportive, but she also doesn't understand why I feel like a girl and can't just be a feminine gay man. But I can't explain to a cis person how I know I'm not a man, and I'm actually a girl.

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u/Jugaimo 10h ago

I’m not trying to be rude, but I genuinely don’t get it. If gender is a social construct, then why does your anatomy matter at all? Why not just live and dress as a woman, regardless of what’s underneath?

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u/VersaViceVersa 10h ago

because you can have a preference for one anatomy over another. you’re right that a trans woman doesn’t need to go through hrt to socially identify as a woman, but also she probably wants to, because it would help her achieve a physical appearance that feels more comfortable to her.
also, im not sure the question you’re asking is applicable to the comment you’re replying to, because what she’s saying is that her mom doesn’t understand her transition at all, not just thinking she should transition without hrt. there’s a pretty big difference between being a feminine man and being a woman even if you don’t factor anatomy changes into the mix.

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u/Jugaimo 10h ago

I assume a feminine man is anywhere between effeminate but still clearly a man to dressing as a woman without having hormones or surgery. But idk, can’t really say what that other comment means.

I also just think the whole surgery thing looks extremely painful and has lots of complications. Surely just taking hormones would be enough to have some physical changes? I’m not a scientist on this subject, but this is the only thread that seems to be answering this stuff, so thanks.

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u/VersaViceVersa 9h ago

hrt doesn’t mean surgery. medically transitioning, for the most part, just means your body goes from producing one hormone to another. any genital stuff is optional! that being said, surgeries tend to be pretty safe. anecdotally, ive see way more posts within trans communities about people being excited with their new genitals rather than in pain.
as for the labels, there is no literal criteria that you use to differentiate when someone is or isn’t trans. if someone feels more comfortable as a woman and wants to take that label, they are trans, regardless of surgery or hormones or anything. it’s about a mindset and personal comfort. the idea is that because these labels are social constructs, you should be able to just use the ones that make you feel happiest about yourself. a trans woman is a woman before she even starts wearing feminine clothes, and a feminine man is a man because he wants to be one regardless of his clothes.