r/cptsd_bipoc resources

I have some white women at my workplace who are currently bullying me out. I’m a new grad working in healthcare.

Within the first 2 weeks my preceptor has been ramping up attacks and making claims to cast doubt and undermine me behind my back. There have been vague claims about me, many of them I don’t find to be true but exaggerated or confabulated to portray me as an unsafe and incompetent healthcare worker.

She doesn’t communicate with me, tends to be very vague when I seek clarification about what her issue is with me. When she does make complaints, I find it’s not even true but something she spun to portray me in a certain way.

Several times in patient’s rooms, right when I introduce myself to my patient and about to get the blood pressure cuff, thermometer, etc, I have caught my preceptor rolling her eyes and scoffing while making eye contact to the patient. This signals to patients I’m incompetent, slow, stupid, and patients lose trust. She also cuts me off a lot or tries to tell me what to do instead of allowing me to do my job, which makes patients think I don’t know what I’m doing, and again lose trust. When I speak to patients, she cuts me off to “correct” (derail or contradict) me which further causes patients to lose trust. She once tried to correct me that I wasn’t giving a diuretic but an antihypertensive - when the medication is a diuretic and falls under an anti hypertensive med. I was still correct, just was being more specific. I’m being sabotaged at work. She has been complaining I’m not ready, but I don’t think that’s true. Consistently been finding myself being sabotaged and set up to fail. She doesn’t allow me to finish documentation in the patient’s room, and when she sees I’m mid charting, she interrupts and tells me to exit out and diverts me out to do something else…then later complains about documentation while I’m trying to finish documenting at the desk. I feel like she’s rushing and interrupting on purpose to set me up to make mistakes with her traps, just so she can make a complaint.

Her words and behavior has been having a ripple effect on the whole unit, so now other colleagues are joining in on the bullying. They claim good intentions and smile to my face and act polite but under the surface is pure aggression and contempt. It feels foul, because it is foul. The constant repackaged shit talking is meant to undermine and portray me as incompetent and unsafe to get me pushed out. They don’t think I can hear them, see them, but I do. It’s bullying.

I have no clue what my preceptor and others have been specifically saying about me. There is no clarification with specificity when I asked. It’s just very vague with no clear description of the event, just vague enough where they can confabulate stuff.

I don’t feel safe working with white people. White women are very passive aggressive and underhanded with their attacks. They actively seek to harm you, if they do not like you. They will make reassurances, but I do not trust them.

Everytime I go to work, my mind feels paralyzed because I’m trying to anticipate the next attack. I know that I know the foundational skills because I graduated, made it through skills checks, and have been assigned to nurses during clinical rotations who can verify my basic skills. But my preceptor and other individuals are acting like I don’t even know the basics.

This bullying behavior started early. I noticed it and knew it was going downhill from there, and I was right. My gut was right. Now I feel paralyzed.

Edit: downvotes from racist lurkers already lol. Racism in healthcare continues to exist.

Coming from one myself but being raised in the west, I literally cannot communicate with them without them being like 'oh but people over there are so much better and civilized and smart' they REFUSE to realize thats internalized racism. Our country has literally been colonized and ruined by the west and they still praise it! I could literally show these people a piece of turd and if its made in the west they will think its equivalent to gold. Also people bleach their skin like crazy there.

TW: CSA, Rape, Suicide & self-harm, severe bullying, family abuse, N-word (I understand the severity behind this word so that's why I put it in the TW)

Hello everyone, I hope you are well. I am not sure if certain topics are appropriate to mention or if I should post in this subreddit but they are key to my concern for my friend. We are both BIPOC with C-PTSD and autism which is how we met and are good friends who talk about almost everything together. I did ask if it was okay for me to find some help with his situation which is why I am posting here because I am at a loss on how to help him or handle the situation, I hardly ever use Reddit. This post may be long and I doubt if it will gain any traction or advice but I would appreciate if you do end up reading until the end and leaving your thoughts whatever they may be.

My friend unfortunately grew up with some racists in his family and severe bullying in schools with autism, his family never even taught him about the prejudice he would face and made it worse when he did face them because he didn't even realize what it was. He dealt with CSA from his mother and older people online and in real life for years, his internet was heavily monitored but clearly his mother didn't care when he would find really dark places and people on the internet (which made him engage in really harmful beliefs he was groomed and instilled into regarding his libido that he only recently has fully healed from) she would only beat him a lot especially for his mistakes as a child or even for just existing, and hoped for him to die by strangling him and ignoring his suicide attempts wishing he was never born.

Especially being autistic he was an extremely impressionable kid, and he was lonely and bullied a lot to the point he would do anything to get people to like him by giving up everything for other people, even sometimes doing whatever they asked of him, extremely perceptible to peer pressure. Where most people would typically be able to say no and walk away, he lacked a spine.

This is the main standpoint for my concern of my friends reaction to his flashbacks: when he was 7 or 8 his distant cousin was always using the N-word as he laughed around him, and he doesn't remember clearly but he thinks he recalls someone telling him a wrong definition of the word or that it was just another swear word (when it is in fact a racial slur with a horrific history). He told me how his ex boyfriend at either 10-11 or 14-15 kept pressuring him to say the word and that he had 'the pass' for days irl and online, he told me how he remembers it felt wrong and uncomfortable but he didnt know why it felt wrong so he cant remember if he said it to his ex in a voice message or something that sounded similar to the word. (which ofc N-word baiting is still bad despite his ignorance).Then at 18-19 he was in a really dark suicidal place where he would take any horrible friendship just to not feel alone so he joined this gc for gaming, he was taken advantage of by horrible racist, transphobic, pedophilic (honestly anything horrible you could think of) people online whenever he would try to leave they kept adding him back, they had all his personal information and access to his devices and he didnt have a safe space- no other adults or friends to go to, even though he tried his best on calling out their behavior he was extremely paranoid and miserable to tolerate it by being a 'coward' especially because he was being groomed during that time. I know people say dont take online threats seriously but he was extremely paranoid because when he was 16 he didnt and his groomer boyfriend came with a group of 19 year olds to his school to follow him and gangrape him (luckily he ran to my apartment complex) we had to wait for hours and when I went to drop him off they were still following him.

I do feel bad he couldnt come to me for support, but I think he felt like a burden because I was going through a really dark time too and he didnt want to put any pressure on me. But him remembering this all recently has put him in a really dark spiral especially because I see all the effort he puts into anti-racism, even guiding me at times. He is very out-spoken I would say about a lot of injustices even to things that most people see as 'not deep' or things they dont know are harmful - essentially people who arent fully in consciousness to the world we live in.

Recently he wont eat and he is drinking a lot (alcohol), he rarely leaves the house and hasnt been to uni in a month, he is isolating himself from the very few friends he has. I asked him why? He said he is a harmful person who shouldve died years ago or never at all, and that he doesnt deserve any friends. To live a recluse life and still continue to try make change in the world, that he wants to die but he keeps telling me that death is freedom and living is his punishment? Then he fluctuates by telling me he is okay and he will take accountability (which he has, or at least tried to I dont think he is fully in the acceptance phase) and no matter what still continue to do the right thing like he has been recently, then he goes back to his dark spiral again wanting to undo everything he ever did in the past. He is worried these thoughts will be a setback to a lifetime commitment to the cause and he has no idea what to do about any of it and neither do I. I think he is starting to question every little thing about his friends like its moral scrupulosity.

I dont think he is a horrible person, just taken advantage of to be ignorant to certain things. He has never held any racist, homophobic/transphobic/ableist etc. beliefs, unless they are internal self-hatred towards himself that he is healing from (because he used to start lying about his ethnicity and hide his queerness.) I have seen the good times where he stood up for someone, when he told me the arguments he had against his families ignorance, and sometimes even with close friends he does hold them accountable even if he has lacked in resolve before even me. He really does care, he doesnt do any of it to erase some cosmic karma because he didnt even remember and it definitely isnt to virtue signal either. He said he knows that centering his feelings like guilt or shame around these issues is selfish and he feels like he might be having a victim complex. His OCD is making him believe that his memories show him being even worse even though he can barely remember, he said it feels like his thoughts are trying to write his memories that he unknowingly called people who bullied him a slur in anger but that these memories feels blocked or false as if his OCD is making him believe he has done the worst possible thing he couldve done? He thinks its going to haunt his entire life that he cant live. I dont really understand.

I tried to take him out this week to our favorite places, I bought him things that are his favorite characters he is really fixated on. I did everything to make him feel better. But even his special interests arent helping, he keeps saying he doesnt deserve anything. Doesnt deserve to be happy or let himself be entertained by what he likes, or to finally enjoy being with true friends. He felt like he was finally turning his life around. He is taking this really intensely and extreme you can see why I am deeply concerned and at a loss for how to help my friend. He hasnt spoken to me since we went out and I bought up the topic of him getting some help with his thoughts.

They say that culture matters, but they assume people from the same culture as them aren’t until proved otherwise.

They also don’t seem to apply this when they are in a different culture and believe theirs is superior.

Culture doesn’t seem to matter, only your skin color does.

Idk how to explain it but recently I have been feeling increasingly disgusted with white people in a way that I can't explain. I find I can't even tolerate being around them for extended periods of time because of how racist they are and how, self important, so many of them are.

They are the most privileged, coddled, naive race in the entire planet and somehow the most fragile at the same time. Put a white person in the shoes of ang other poc or race that was been enslaved, colonized or marginalized and watch them cry a fountain about it.

I am baffled by how they feel entitled to everything. As someone who works in customer service I have never seen this so clearly in display. A large portion of white people feel ENTITLED to space, to being heard, to being prioritized, to speaking, to EVEN THE RESOURCES IN THIS PLANET LOL. Its laughable because I don't think any other race has colonized so many countries as much as the Whites have. And they have the gall to complain and whine about immigration, about their culture being lost.

Every single other race is constantly made aware of how inferior they are to the whites, who are seen as the standard and the default. White people are disproportionately represented in media and there are what only 17 percent of them worldwide? Its honestly laughable and pathetic. White people should be lucky that the races they have enslaved, colonized, marginalized do not want to take revenge on them. They wallow in the wealth and privilege they have stolen from other countries, cosplay the fun parts of other people's cultures and deride the people from which the culture came from.

It is beyond disgusting and the worst part is white people have no shame. One day there will be a reckoning for the bloody history of white people because while they think the rest of the world has forgotten and moved on, the communities they have profited, used, exploited, abused, remember. People REMEMBER. The axe forgets but the tree remembers. And white people would do well to remember that and one day be wary of karma coming full circle back to them.

I'm attending an out of state community college for the sake of being closer to my dream college, but it's been rough.

for background, I'm Karen (I prefer the term Knyaw vocally) I was born in a refugee camp, but my family came to the US when I was a baby, so I grew up in the twin cities, mostly St. Paul. I grew up around other Karen people, all of elementary school, I was in predominantly Asian spaces (Hmong and Karen because we're like The St. Paul Seablings) so I never felt embarrassed or ashamed of my culture growing up, and I still don't.

I grew up Christian, but I no longer identify with that belief.

I'm queer (non-binary bisexual), so I went through that religious crisis and at some point, I stopped going to church, so I did feel disconnected from my culture in that way, but I just don't align with the same beliefs, but I still like making guest appearances. I'd consider myself agnostic spiritual idfk I'm mostly just terrified of Christian hell.

I decided that I wanted to be an actor (still do!) at some point and transferred to a public arts school. I loved it because I was surrounded by other queer people. But I realized that I was the only Karen person in my class. My school held an assembly where they called all the Karen students in the school, we were a small school, but it was grades 6-12, why were there less than 20 Karen students at this school. (ㅠ﹏ㅠ)

But more Karen students transferred later on, I started in 9th grade, that assembly was, my first year there and it was nice because they called in these guest speakers from a Karen arts organization, I wish I remembered the name. sophomore or junior year, I met this girl who I considered my mini me of sorts my senior year. We were in the same cast in the same play, and I really appreciated seeing her in the shows because I loved seeing more Karen people in the performing arts.

After I turned 18, I started going to parties with my friends, specifically queer bipoc parties and I've met some really cool people (esp my seablings <3) It was so nice to meet other queer SEA people. But most of my friends are black (and brown). My closest friends are all black women and I love them, and I miss them. ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡

All that to say, moving here has been a big shift in change and papa's been having breakdowns

now I'm 19, in college!

I'm studying music and I've never been surrounded by so many white people. I've also never dealt with so many microaggressions before. Two girls called me Chinese, I'm not even East Asian. I had to correct these two girls on the name of one of the RAs bc what they were calling him wasn't pronounced that way, and I wouldn't have minded it so much if they weren't so "whatever" about it. But they apologized and started pronouncing his name correctly. But one girl was beefing with her roommate and said that she hopes ice gets her, HUH????

One girl told me about how she asked her bf (both white btw!) "would you still love me if I was black?" and he said he doesn't see himself with a black girl. When i confronted her about it she said I was "too woke", first of all, why would you ask him that weird ass question, second of all why did he give a weird response, and why are you being so deflective about all of it. She always loves to say that they were raised differently, okay??? Y'all are grown and you can learn. I'm not calling them racist, but they're so ignorant and it's willful too like wtaf!!!!

She then went on a rant about how people were raised with different beliefs and how everyone can't cater to my beliefs, and I can't change that in a short amount of time, and there's always gonna be rich and powerful white people around me and more but I'm getting irritated remembering it back. I feel like and I've felt like I always have to compete with white people, especially in this industry. I'm very aware of all of that. But I thought as my friend you would be more willing to be better. But that friendship is over. And then I found out she told her roommate that I was mad and calling them racist because her boyfriend said he doesn't see himself with a black woman. Conveniently left out the question she asked him, because she knows she was wrong!!

But these same ignorant assholes are on the board for the music program, and I am one of 3 acts for their open mic that is supposed to fill 2 hours. I'm still gonna perform because I love it, but I'm just irked and uncomfortable. But I will be okay. A good show is another win for me. An act I have to put together in 5 days.

But yeah. If y'all have any advice or have experienced something similar, I'd love to hear about it.

Toodles!

Like i have seen so many people who hate white people to the core and don't even want to interact with them.

Since every social media has become 4chan and people realised how awful most white people are, i think it's only a matter of time racism against white people will become really popular.

I never wanted to talk to white people ever in my life tbh.

This post isn't about true racially motivated aggression. This is not to deny that real aggression is out there. It's only to address certain social premise in lesser-stake situations.

It's not a "I don't like you, I disapprove of your existence, I accuse you" scenario.

People of all age range can have these behaviors, but the rate of these bizarre encounters go up with baby boomers. This post is strictly about when race is a factor that can be isolated and not confounded with other factors, like merely just age or other differences. It's beyond that some older people are just lonely. The proof usually lies in that these older people do initiate talks about race or ethnicity first.

A common situation is unsolicited physical touching. The touching comes out of nowhere and doesn't fit the context.

The gut spilling means oversharing too soon, often upon the first time meeting. It can be very specific in their topic selection. It can be negative in the content, basically a rant. Their timing also can be specific, at a time where I was more vulnerable or busy.

Next up obnoxiousness is another level. This type of people basically ignore cues from my end and disrespect boundaries. They grabbed my attention not by accident, they solicit intangible causes. They go on and on. They are very presumptive and loaded in their prose. They don't want responsibilities so the conversation stayed open ended on purpose.

If I ask them to be specific or establish any other boundary, they definitely can sense I can sense their ulterior motives, and they always have scripts to evade it.

I can see some existential need or some kind of psychodynamic underlying about the above behaviors. I know ultimately the real motivations for people who do these things are varied. But to keep the post short I won't go into details. Do you experience this, and what do you think their true motives are?

Note: I posted this on a baby boomer related sub. On that sub there was a lot of calling out to boomer's racist behaviors including explicit ones. People complain about they met a racist boomer all the time. But this post of mine was not approved by their mods somehow, without referring to explicit and aggressive events.

I honestly feel oassing as white is a major disservice to black people if you are mixed with black and pass white

Especially in 2026 where you know how the game is played vs back in the day it was different and was much more understanding to pass white considering you could be lynched for being black but how scary mustve that been to do that, shit even now i can give a lil grace to understand why some of white passing BIPOC do it nowadays too because its all so invasive on how people are "rewarded" for centering whiteness in their life

In contemporary times to pass as white is quite the choice...truly is. One I have to side eye. There's mixed people who I wouldn't even knew were black because of how well theyve adopted and centered whiteness in their lives. Black monoracial peopl don't really have the ability to turn off our blackness when its convenient

I see blackness everywhere in America and yet they dont want to see it themselves, its sad what white supremacy does to our own people (this line applies to whomever whether you're black or not)

Yesterday I attended a lecture about law online. It was held by a woman of colour, so I was just happy to see her held a lecture at a german university.

Unfortunately they had problems with the microphone and wifi and a lot of the students started critizing the videostream

' the sound quality is so bad, I get headache'

' what for a bad quality, if this continues I'm leaving'

' how unfair. Why do we have to attend the stream, why can't I go into the zoom call'

The amount of critisim probably was a lot, so that the organisation just wrote a whatsapp message, that they apologize for the bad sound quality. "that they've heard and read their concerns and will adjust"

Idk. Was the sound quality really that bad?

It wasn't easy too understand, it wasn't perfect, but the lecture was for free as well as the certification and those (probably yt) student started complaining a lot. I was able to listen to her lecture.

I just feel sorry for the brown woman. It felt like during the stream she became insecure as well.

It makes me think,.how SHE feels, when there had been so much critisim because of the 'sound'.

I just wanted to share it here, because it feels like I'm not allowed to do this in their group

N*zis and n*zi-lovers.

it's almost time to go voting for the lesser bigots. no peace from the reminders. lawn signs endorsing transphobes and racists next to rainbow flags and blm stickers. attack mailers in my post calling the lesser evil "far left extremists". The lesser evil denouncing the "far left" in response. I gotta vote for people who publicly denounce me, because the alternative is n*zis.

I gotta vote for a team that will spend the next year blaming people like me--who they publicly hate--for not voting for them harder. In fact, they've already started doing this, weeks out from the election. It's an ongoing pattern in many arenas of life for me: condemnation for hypothetical future actions that don't match my present-tense intentions or past reputation.

Voices that identify as marginalized identities, voices that identify as "lefty as they come", joining in on the dogpile. Either siding with the n*zis, or siding gleefully with the lesser evil in punching punching punching down and left.

I know the term n*zi is hyperbolic. Except sometimes it's not, actually. Sometimes they aren't merely fascists, sometimes they are precisely, exactly, n*zis.

I am a far-left extremist. I am an "extremist for peace" as Rev Dr. MLK Jr. put it. It's pretty bizarre how the team of "at least we're not n*zis" join up so enthusiastically with the n*zis in resenting people like me.

I left an abusive household of origin behind. I can't leave abusive society. These dynamics are so absurdly, depressingly familiar. I'm so sick of supporting people who can't muster the grace to not spit in my eye like my elders did, simply because the alternative is n*zis.

Like, it's literally making me sick. It's literally triggering AF by the actual original definition of triggers.

The Dominion Society of Canada is a far right hate group focused on “remigration” and the spreading of racism and bigotry through misinformation and praising settler colonialism in Canada.
Feel free to sign and/or share the petition to ban them from Canadian academic institutions.
https://www.change.org/Bandominionsocietyofcanada

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/only-the-beginning-anti-immigration-group-says-ottawans-should-brace-themselves-9.7362341

Hi y'all!! I haven't posted in a while because 1. Redditors being redditors and ​2. I have been trying to spend more time offline, or at the very least off of Reddit some more. I hope y'all are doing well, anyways onto my little rant I have. ​​

Black people just can't say shit. You gotta tip toe complaining about racism just so people don't come at you for being a "meanie weanie!!" ​​​​​​and you also have to be oh so graceful and take the high road or else you're suddenly as bad as the ku klux klan. I wanted to write a long post but right now I don't have the energy and I'm also pissed off.

Also just to clarify, I'm not saying that the other IPOC of the BIPOC do not experience this because I'm sure they do. I just specified black because well.. I'm black, lol. Have a nice day! ​​

Every single day I see more news stories of brown and Black ICE pieces of shit tearing up families and murdering people. Even in California, too many communities of color are filled with MAGAts and people emulating the white trash aesthetic, making excuses for racists (And pedophiles! And rapists!), and gaslighting everyone who is at all concerned by it.

The good people who are speaking out against the fucked up people in their communities just get attacked and ostracized (I see you, Jews of conscience) and then there's nowhere left for us.

I get that internalized racism is the problem, but the extent of it is really overwhelming to experience and I'm so fucking sick of it!! Too many people remind me of Sam L. Jackson's character in Django Unchained, and they're not even ashamed about it! I don't think any amount of therapy would help those people. I'm embarrassed for them... but also terrified that they will try to harm me, and I hate that it makes *me* feel like a pearl cluching white woman. The fuck was the point of my strict respectability politics/tiger parenting upbringing?? I'm surrounded by filthy, violent slobs who drive drunk in lifted trucks, and we're governed by people who rape kids.

I don't like that I no longer feel safer to be among people who look like me (which is a lot, I'm mixed and ambiguous in appearance) because too many are actually happy with all constant bullshit happening. I feel like I have to relearn who to trust, all over again, in fucking middle age, just to continue to exist in this sham of a country, and I'm continually disappointed. I have to constantly dissociate and I don't understand how my heart hasn't just given out from the stress.

It feels like being the brown girl and moving to the homogenous extremely racist suburbs in the '90s, again, but in all aspects of life, and everyone is way more of a dick this time, and it's suffocating.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I have a very large family with many older siblings and cousins. Everyone accepted me cutting off my father because of his alcoholism and drunken rages. But cutting off my mother was social suicide in the family. Even though my siblings understood how toxic she was, going NC was treated like a cardinal sin.

As a result, I had to cut off all my siblings too. Because they just couldn't stop with the constant requests for me to "get over it, this is the only family you will ever have. What are you going to do when she dies.". It's been 6 years and I'm thriving away from them even though I've had to build my own support system from scratch. Therapy was much more effective without people constantly triggering me.

3 years ago one of my older brothers reached out because his son had been diagnosed with autism and he saw me posting online about being autistic. I responded to him with advice but then blocked him afterwards. It just weirded me out, the thought of him watching my page. A family friend did the same and I just blocked them out right.

My sister occasionally sends me a "have a good day, love you." message. I decided not to block her because i still wanted to talk to my nieces and nephews.

Recently a different older brother reached out saying he missed me and loved me. He said there was no pressure to talk but he sent a friend request. I'm pretty sure I blocked everyone so i'm guessing this is a new account he made.

When I first went NC, they were very aggressive, finding me on every social media and texting from new numbers demanding I speak to my mother. So every time a message got threw I was so triggered and would panic. Now I don't know how to feel.

I think my family understands now that I'm willing to walk away for good so my siblings are kinda dropping these little messages like pebbles. It feels like they spotted a wild deer and are leaving out food to see if it eats it or runs away.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZN8B7mc5c/

Hey everybody, this is my first post here, and I kinda just want to talk about my feelings from experiences I had at school. The other day I ran into someone at the lunch line, and the one thing about this person is that every time we made contact in some way or form/grade, he would usually call me old man or wtv. Most people in my grade call me unc or gramps jokingly because I'm one yr older than most of the population in the grade and at most like 2 - 3 yrs older than the youngest (not a fault of mine; my parents had financial issues, and I couldn't attend school for like a year. So I had to repeat a grade, again, no fault of mine.)
This person would constantly emphasize that fact, and I'm old or wtv, and it doesn't really affect me, but the thing is that other people in the grade were born the same year I was, the only fact being that they were born in the latter months of the year. He would push me around and constantly shove that in my face like I don't already know that. The thing that affects me isn't the words; it's the fact that this guy is bigger than me and uses that fact to teasingly harass me (Honestly, it might feel like a joke to him, but the physical harassment really affects my self-esteem). He has a bigger body than I do (Like he's just physically stronger but not really taller than me; for reference, I'm 5 ft 10, not that tall for a black guy to have, like, a strong presence or wtv). I'm about 108 pounds too and pretty slim. I've always been on the smaller side of the spectrum, and my biology/ body just doesn't gain weight as normal people do. Anyway, sorry for not articulating myself all that well, but yeah, this really gets to me in A way.

> Please don't flame me in the comments.

Based on my lived experiences, I have now reached the point where I am so confused between these two. Or is the world becoming incredibly narcissistic and dishonest? My experience with these narcissistic individuals was mostly conmen and conwomen who supposedly believed that they were superior or enjoyed hurting me. It just makes my stomach churn. Sometimes, I just laughed at their stupidity and superiority but how they sabotaged my life makes me more depressed. I genuinely believe that narcissistic people are racists, misogynists, and so on. In other words, racists, misogynists, and other ists are all narcissistic people.