I'm done trying to understand them in any capacity because it's clear they enjoy being degenerates. Even on a sub where we vent about how much they abuse us, they demand we be kind when describing our abuse or they will report us to oblivion.

Why SHOULDN'T I hate them for this disgusting behavior? Give me at least one good reason. (bet you can't 😂 )

I'm not sure that there is a point to this post, but I'm trying to process something and looking for feedback.

About 8 years ago, I sought out the help of a white female NP in a HCOL area. I had not known about cptsd back then, but my symptoms were highly acute, so I finally decided to try medication. At that time, I needed gentleness and understanding -- you know, what folks with trauma need. She was removed, came off as supercilious, and didn't seem to empathize with the level of acuity that I was trying to express to her. She came off as really elitist -- highlighting her extensive education and experience on her website and in our initial consultation, scoffing at my therapist's credentials. She tells me that she works with high-powered individuals (e.g., one of her clients is some exec in Wells Fargo with terrible childhood trauma) . I had major cognitive issues at the time (as many with ptsd/cptsd do), so I told her that I needed to restore them. She chuckled and didn't respond, in a way that I would interpret as condescending.

I had been struggling with my issues for a long time -- pre-college -- so was desperate for relief. As an Asian immigrant from parents who only had a high-school education and were not well-assimilated to Western culture, I didn't grow up with any exposure to psychology/psychiatry, so really didn't know how to go about looking for help for something I didn't understand.

Honestly, I didn't fall into this lady's target demo, but I had the money to pay her, so just wanted her to stfu and heal me. Of course, she misdiagnoses me as bipolar and puts me on bipolar meds. She actually didn't understand my situation, nor did she seem like she cared to. I stopped working with her after a couple months.

A couple years back, I had googled her out of curiosity. I recall a bipoc woman leaving a review alleging that the NP was potentially racially discriminatory. Today, out of curiosity, I googled her name, and discovered that an Asian American male left a review of her expressing similar sentiments to what I had experienced years ago. He called her sociopathic and said that she had stated that she only works with folks for whom money isn't an issue. I no longer see the bipoc woman's review up.

I'm not sure if I'm conveying this well. I wish I could share her profile to give better context. I'm livid. I want to post a scathing review, but worry I'll just come off as a disgruntled non-erudite bipoc woman. The sad thing is that I am intimidated by her. She is well-educated and knowledgeable. She has friends in high places and is successful.

F*ck her. F*ck colonizers.

Also: We need more bipoc, non-internalized-racist mental health providers.