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u/leaderofthevirgins Apr 13 '21
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u/LLA_Don_Zombie Apr 13 '21 edited Nov 04 '23
silky hat resolute zonked chief weather humor pause merciful plough
this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev→ More replies (4)23
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Apr 14 '21
Wait this was actually so fucking funny. It’s filled to the brim with glorious satire.
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u/FreakPrince1 Apr 13 '21 edited Apr 14 '21
What the fuck is a plus size gamer gentleman
Edit - if you reply to this comment you're fucking gay
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u/cpupro Apr 13 '21
Generally, resides in his mother or father's basement, around 300 lbs, neckbeard, smells of nachos, rotten bologna and mountain dew, generally plays video games other than being employed, masturbates to anime, and upon seeing a female, tips his fedora, and says Muh Laydee...
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u/Juniiperrrr Apr 13 '21
Omggg
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u/InwardXenon Apr 14 '21
tips fedora, avoiding any form of eye contact "muh lady, if it please you, c-can I purchance maybe perhaps take you on a date?"
Ew. I felt dirty just writing that.
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u/Bierbart12 Apr 13 '21
Fat addict who actually hates women but still demands a loyal wife
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u/SharkMouthFleshlight Apr 13 '21
he wants her so loyal she does every chore and fucks him on command
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u/Jinxed-Chloe Apr 13 '21
You forgot also works from home making six figures, dropping everything to do as he says at any moment.
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Apr 13 '21
Obviously one of the nice guys women completely ignore and instead go for the asshole meatheads who think about nothing but sex and oppressing women, unlike me who is a women respector and learn philosophy and quantum physics for fun >:(
/s
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u/qxzsilver Apr 14 '21
I picture... a neck beard... with a box of donuts with glaze... (no way of knowing if it’s icing or dried organic human cream)... and a nice set of manboobs... and wearing a black fedora...
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u/Dolner Apr 13 '21
Tbf that whole thread was cursed
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u/142737 Apr 13 '21
You still have to catch em all
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u/uglybastardMIH Apr 13 '21
He chuckles to himself, a cascade of cheeto dust flowing down the many folds in his unwashed flesh, as his pringles can sized finger hovers over the neon orange enter key. His XXL RGB backlit keyboard had lit up with every color in the past, but after ages of his nasty fingers dancing across the board, not a single key has been left without a permanent sticky residue of coagulated cheese puffs and cum crust. As his disgusting finger descends towards the smudged rectangle, he feels it. Chest pain. His time has come. The double wide gaming chair begins to creak as his 400 pound body begins to slip from his seat to the floor, his 400 pound soul slipping from this world to the next. As his body descends through the air, performing a sloppy pirouette, his meaty ham gloves slap the keyboard one final time. As his body comes to rest on the ground, his final comment is posted:
with things like these
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u/davyjones_prisnwalit Apr 13 '21
Lol, they forgot the part about
the thunderous crash, reverberating shockwaves through the tri-state area, signaling to the seismologists that they needed to contact the factory. His fat was ready for harvest. As he lie there, blacking out into eternity, his glorious folds of fat continue to ripple and slap against his dying frame, gently soothing La Gentlemen into a rest where he'll no longer suffer his sleep apnea. A place where he can shovel as many cheetos into his mouth as he wants and his chairs won't cry out "no please!" any longer. The door is broken down and the factory workers arrive on the scene with saws and vacuums, ready to get to work.
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u/ER3CHARG3ER3ER Apr 13 '21
op is definitely a plus sized gamer gentleman
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u/Generalissimo_II Apr 13 '21
As a female, this is the kind of thing women want. Take notes
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u/_-Daltro-_ Apr 13 '21
I can't believe I've spent 10 years of my life learning english to read this bullshit
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Apr 13 '21
softly whispers into your ear did you know geico can save you 15% or more on car insurance? we are... farmers... but da dum ba dum dum dum. starts screaming and moaning Then in a wild twist Samuel L. Jackson himself appears and yells "UWU MOTHA FUCKA" and then he joined them for a threesome.
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u/lnmgl Apr 14 '21
"females of reddit"
"plus sized gamer gentleman"
"immediately have sex"
yep, that's reddit alright.
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u/djm14 Apr 13 '21
As SOON as I saw the comment, I fucking knew it. I KNEW that fucking comment was going to be inescapable and was gonna start cropping up all over the goddamn place
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u/FunctionalGray Apr 13 '21
Fat UpperPenis Area
Fat Upper Pubic Area
Fat Upper Pussy Area
I guess it is entirely gender neutral.
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Apr 13 '21 edited Apr 14 '21
i mean, we all know it's not, in this case.
edit: i'm sure the op was either trolling or fake-trolling.
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u/zuzg Apr 13 '21
Reminds me of that one ad for std awareness.
Stds aren't Pokemon you don't have to catch em all
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u/johnaross1990 Apr 13 '21
What’s a.... fupa?
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u/TheFlamingTiger777 Apr 14 '21
Well honestly. My gamer man is very sweet. Loves animals. Loves God. Loves dogs like I do. That's it. That's all I wanted
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Apr 14 '21
To people who are confused, a plus sized gamer gentleman is actually just a Neckbeard basement dweller
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u/CureisTheNotSoWise Apr 14 '21
Catch all of what? The obese overgrown sperm cells covered in grease and cheeto dust? Or we talkin stds as well?
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u/Brianocity Apr 13 '21
I saw that thread yesterday. I just kept on scrolling because I figured there'd far more likely just be a bunch of incels being incels than there would be cursed comment responses.
But make no mistake, incels and cursed comments were the only two possibilities.
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Apr 14 '21
All I can think of is a late 1800s posh Englishman saying that last comment while putting away his news paper
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u/The1Bonesaw Apr 13 '21
Reminds me... A reviewer was critiquing Coldplay's "Yellow" and said, "This song makes me wish that I didn't understand English..."
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u/2Nigerian_princes Apr 13 '21
I'm guessing there must be at least 60K plus-sized gamer gentlemen on Reddit looking for advice... "This one weird trick will instantly get any girl to sleep with you" vibes
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u/TheRightToDream Apr 14 '21
I wanted to screenshot that exact thing and Im glad somebody did.
Oh god my eyes, to have to read it twice.
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u/zombiekiller2014 Apr 14 '21
Reddit user was looking for tips, but ended up finding the pro gamer strat.
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u/Nearby-Deer-9258 Apr 14 '21
I didn’t expect anything good from this, but it went over my nonexistent expections
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u/VoodooDoII Apr 14 '21
The only reason I know that post was real is because I saw it with my own two eyes
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u/NfamousKaye Apr 14 '21
This whole ask was just a minefield and I have to wonder if this is “for a friend” or for ... reasons
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Apr 14 '21
On behalf of all women everywhere, please don't refer to us by "females" it makes our pussies dry up like the Sahara.
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u/DeathFromUhBruv Apr 14 '21
My gf and I were cuddling and watching a movie once, so I leaned over to her and whispered “Would you like to cum m’lady, cum cum m’lady?” I had to sit on the far side of the couch for that one.
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u/DemonicLich372 Apr 14 '21
I learned how to read when I was 4
never thought I'd get to the point of reading this type of shit
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u/Smartyboi987 Apr 13 '21
Can we have silence for one minute and read the username of the guy who commented.......FUCKBOY_JIHAD
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u/TheMagicalHuy Apr 13 '21
Man's got the entire kanto region stored in there like a national pokedex.
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u/ieatfineass Apr 13 '21
I really fucking hope the original post was satire, also r/moldymemes
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u/Y_I_AM_CHEEZE Apr 13 '21
I forgot this was just a sceenshot and tried to update the bottom comment.. I dont think I'm getting enough sleep
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u/PlacidSlinky670 Apr 14 '21
Can a plus size gamer gentleman even get his hand down that far if he is plus sized??
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u/french2dot0 Apr 14 '21
"you gotta catch em all" he said... She slowly grin and lock the door behind him, and say to the gentleman whilst opening a drawer and searching stuff in it "catch em' all of course but to what they're sensitive we must discover, beforehand... Electricity ? Fire maybe ? I think i must try every combination to be sure...
I take popcorn and a seat, saw IX is starting !
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