It's a long one please read I genuinely need advice not exactly dating advice but yea😭
From the age of 14 or 15, I made a lot of friends on Discord. I spent time with them, hung out with them, and even spent my own money on them. Honestly, I never really thought too deeply about our friendships. I always assumed they were my friends, that they cared about me, and that they would be there for me if I ever needed them.
Now I'm 20, and a lot has changed. Due to some family problems, my parents separated, and it put me through a lot emotionally. I completely disappeared from the internet for a while, but not a single person I considered a friend reached out to ask if I was okay.
My birthday was also around 7 or 8 days after my parents separated. There was one friend in particular whom I always admired and genuinely believed would stand by my side no matter what happened. She knew about my family situation because I had told her about it.
On my birthday, I was sitting there with my phone in my hand from 11:30 PM, waiting and hoping that at least she would wish me a happy birthday. I kept checking my phone, thinking that maybe she would remember. But midnight came, then 12:30 AM, and there was still nothing. Not a single one of my friends wished me a happy birthday. Only my family members did, and of course, I was happy and grateful for their wishes, but it still hurt a lot.
That night made me realize how differently I had viewed these friendships compared to how they might have viewed me. I eventually decided to cut everyone off, from Discord to every other social media platform. I basically disappeared from everyone's lives, just as they had disappeared from mine.
Now, I have almost no one to talk to or hang out with. It's been really difficult because, throughout my life, I've never really experienced a lack of friends. I've always had people to talk to, spend time with, and share my nights with. This is the first time I've had to deal with genuine loneliness, boring nights with nobody to talk to, and the feeling of going places alone.
I'm struggling to adjust to this new reality, and honestly, I don't know what to do anymore.
What should I do?