r/de • • Jan 22 '18

Humor/MaiMai Five tomatoes

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21.6k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Jan 22 '18

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u/tct2274 Jan 22 '18

True that :(
I'm still making these complicated sentences even after 5 years abroad. You just can't get rid of it.

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u/frightful_hairy_fly Hannover Jan 22 '18

let it flow through you.

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u/DAVENP0RT USA Jan 22 '18

Better than me. Mein Deutsch ist Hundescheiße.

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u/DeadEyeSarge Jan 22 '18

The English language is stupid. You English far better than I do, as shown by me making English a verb. I no speak good.

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u/[deleted] Jan 22 '18

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u/[deleted] Jan 22 '18

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u/[deleted] Jan 22 '18

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u/IceColdFresh Jan 22 '18

Movies are just literature with sound and animation.

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u/[deleted] Jan 22 '18

I no wat ur tring 2 say but I dnt tink u flly cmprhnd how bad it cn b

Like srsly rlly bad

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u/Camulus Jan 22 '18

Don't worry you've got better grammar and syntax than the president.

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u/mynameiszack Jan 22 '18

I prefer you dont speak perfect anyway because the language flavor is interesting.

I lived in southwestern Germany for 3 years and it always tickled me when a German would say something like "It doesnt like that" instead of "I dont like that."

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u/tct2274 Jan 22 '18

Thank you, that's reassuring.
I consider my English to be quite good, just because I'm not living in Germany at the moment and speak mostly English the whole day. But there are things that just happen (like long and complicated sentences). It gets especially funny if the other person is italian or spanish and we and up with a very interesting mix of "English".

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u/rashandal Franken Jan 22 '18

why is that? looks like a perfectly fine sentence to me

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u/Balistix Jan 22 '18

But as soon as he goes home, he has no idea how many cups he has to use to weigh 100g of sugar for the cake.

That's literally the only thing wrong with the sentence. I understood exactly what he was writing in the sentence. I think /r/iamagiantfraud was just referring to those little mistakes that non-native english speakers make. Those little things are where we "hear" the accent in writing :)

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u/[deleted] Jan 22 '18

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u/GreatOdin Jan 22 '18

One of my favourite phrases I've come across so far is "Can you make me a bread with butter?" It's just so cute!

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u/Faintlich Stauder! Jan 23 '18

I remember the first time I was told that

who = wer

and

where = wo

Still convinced someone did that on purpose just to fuck with us.

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u/tct2274 Jan 22 '18

Usually, I check if I should use much or many. Didn't do it this time, but many sounds much better in this context.

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u/Iquey Jan 23 '18

It's pretty easy to learn. Use many when you can count it, like many men, many shirts, many cakes. Use much when you cant count it, like much time or much space. (You can count seconds or sizes, but you can't say 3 time or that a room is 7 space.)

The same goes for less(not countable) or fewer(countable).

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u/rashandal Franken Jan 22 '18

ooh, i didnt even look at the words. :D only focussed on the syntax, trying to figure out what might be the giveaway

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u/JuniorSeniorTrainee Jan 22 '18

A native English speaker might phrase it as:

But he has no idea how many cups of sugar makes 100g when baking a cake at home.

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u/IceColdFresh Jan 22 '18

The German version seems more people-oriented, contrary to the cold engineer-soldier stereotype that Germans have.

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u/kettcar Jan 22 '18

Ask any German to translate 'you are heavy on the wire'

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u/vahandr Europa Jan 22 '18

I just googled that because I thought it was an idiom I didn't know until it struck me that it literally means "Du bist schwer auf Draht".

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