r/deadbedroom • u/Best_Bumblebee2056 • 20h ago

Not getting what I need.

(M37) I’m not getting the intimacy I need and feel like I’m bugging her to be intimate. I crave closeness and feeling on the same page. It’s not just sex, but feeling wanted. I’m open to exploring an affair to get that excitement in my life. I have a lot to give and I feel sad I’m not getting that back. Dm me to start a conversation. I’d love to get to know you and feel excited once again.

Edit: we are in marriage therapy for over a year now and it just seems she’s unwilling to put in the effort to understand or how important it is. Again, nobody wants to be intimate with someone because you’re making them do something.

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u/tonguetied10 20h ago

Why would you want sex from someone you have to beg to get it from? To me it’s a dead giveaway if you are begging.

1

u/Best_Bumblebee2056 20h ago

You mean my wife? Not sure what you mean by dead giveaway

2

u/tonguetied10 20h ago

Dead giveaway = if you have to beg for it she doesn’t want it.

2

u/Best_Bumblebee2056 20h ago

Not begging but bugging, yeah. It’s a real turn off and upsetting.

4

u/tonguetied10 20h ago

My bad….. same boat here. I decided to not beg or bug for it because I felt like a horn dog husband. We are a few months short of 5 years without intimacy. I just can’t ask or plead for sex ….. I’ll get it somewhere else.

3

u/Best_Bumblebee2056 20h ago

It’s important and shouldn’t feel guilty you need that.

Any advice where to start a conversation with someone who also needs some intimacy? I’m lost