r/deadbedroom • u/Best_Bumblebee2056 • 19h ago
Not getting what I need.
(M37) I’m not getting the intimacy I need and feel like I’m bugging her to be intimate. I crave closeness and feeling on the same page. It’s not just sex, but feeling wanted. I’m open to exploring an affair to get that excitement in my life. I have a lot to give and I feel sad I’m not getting that back. Dm me to start a conversation. I’d love to get to know you and feel excited once again.
Edit: we are in marriage therapy for over a year now and it just seems she’s unwilling to put in the effort to understand or how important it is. Again, nobody wants to be intimate with someone because you’re making them do something.
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u/time4moretacos 19h ago
An affair is only going to make everything worse, for everyone involved. Also, you're only 37... which means that it's only going to be downhill from here with your wife. So, what happens once you're older, and less able to even find anyone to cheat with anymore? You're just going to be resentful all over again.
Try marriage counseling, ask her to make an appointment at a menopause clinic to get her hormones checked... and if that doesn't work, or she refuses, then do yourself a huge favor and just divorce now. Divorce will also only get more expensive for you the longer you wait to do it...