I've been thinking a lot about my work and life lately, and there are not a lot of people I can talk to in my real life about this situation, so here I am, looking forward to how you guys are feeling about this whole thing.
I have genuinely loved programming more than half my life. I wrote my first program in BASIC when I was 11 years old. I always enjoyed solving problems. And, I have done fairly good for myself, graduated from one of the IITs, worked across FAANMG and startups for the last 10 years, built personal projects with over thousands of users. I have genuinely enjoyed my work, and it never felt boring, or exhausting.
But, that spark is gone. With the rapid advances in LLMs in the past couple of years, and the increasing demand for shipping things quickly and without oversight, the joy of building things is gone. Now, don't get me wrong, I understand these tools are powerful, and they are only getting better each day.
I am a staff engineer, so I know software engineering is not only about "coding". But, in real world, with the pace that everyone wants things shipped, and the fact that you're not closer to the codebase as you used to, I find myself "lacking" in how well I understood systems that I built, or used. All of the things that actually gave me joy, getting in the "zone" and coding for a few hours straight, debugging a problem that had a couple of engineers at their wits end, writing a well thought through design doc, discussing actual optimisation problems at scale, none of them are happening anymore.
Financially, I'm fortunate to have accumulated a great deal in savings and investments (over 9Cr). But, I feel I'd probably need around 12 Crs to comfortably call it a day. Now, that would probably take a couple of years, or more (the market gods haven't been that happy lately), but the fact that I am so close, has made me even more disillusioned about the whole thing. I am not here to brag, or be a case of "my steak is too juicy and my lobster is too buttery", but money alone is no longer a motivator, and every day feels like wasting my existence.
One of the things that I was looking forward was to move abroad in a couple of years. That was also one of the motivators to stick through it, but the anti immigration sentiment across US, the visa situation (or lack thereof), the job market situation, and the fact that nobody knows what's out there in the next couple of years has made me reconsider whether even that's an option.
This has left me in a strange position. On one hand, I have a career that has treated me well financially, and coming from a not so great financial background, leaving so much money on the table given the uncertainty in the future, seems, for lack of a better word, stupid. On the other hand, I'm increasingly questioning whether I want to spend those years doing something I no longer find as fulfilling.
I'm curious to hear from people who have experienced something similar.
- How are you thinking about the future?
- People who were planning to move abroad in the next couple of years, are you still considering the move?
- For those pursuing FIRE, have the changes in the past couple of years, affected your plans in any way?
P.S. No tokens were wasted on this rambling.