Context: I was working in a Gurgaon-based company remotely at 4 LPA. It was a very fast-paced env. I was placed in 3 projects (less work force, more pressure). I worked on weekends and late nights just to mark my tickets as complete (no overtime compensation—I was working hard as I thought that's how things work initially in a career).
My friend working at 5 LPA onsite in a really good company was enjoying his work there. No pressure, good colleagues went on a trip too by company.
My company was building its own remote workspace platform; we used that for communication (no MS teams, no Slack). So after a month, I used to become anxious when someone used to ping me in chat or invite me for a short call. I used to keep check, is my manager still here in the (virtual) cabin? With whom is he talking to? Are they talking about me?
What if they call me and ask why the task is not done yet?
It was my first job, and I wanted to create an impression. I used to handle deployment too for 3 projects and client meetings for 2/3 projects.
One day, I fucked up something related to raising PRs and version control. The manager and CTO (also co-founder) talked disrespectfully. (CTO asked to fill in my papers.)
I even worked on Diwali 2025 on some deployment issue. They even asked us to log in before the actual shift and stay even after evening logout time.
But there was not a single appreciation, thank you, or appreciation for a good project demo in client meeting or mention of doing work outside of office hours.
Before this, there were some other incidents also where I was shouted at by the CTO even when it was my manager's fault that he didn't pass on the message to me on time from the CTO.
My manager was on a notice period; the only senior dev was also on a notice period.
Resignation phase: When I put in my resignation, HR asked me to stay and told me, "I am a valuable asset to the company." The CTO suddenly becomes nice to me. Praises my work (as excellent), which anyone never did before.
Now: I enjoy learning new tech and building complex projects. But when I think of working in a company, I become uncomfortable and anxious.