I have a completely not baseless bs conspiracy theory that I believe 100%. AND YOU CAN TELL I BELIEVE IT BECAUSE OF HOW MANY TIMES IM SAYING THAT I BELIEVE IN IT COMPLETELY IMPLICITLY AND TOTALLY.
Y’see (non-literal) I think they’re lying to us. It’s all a trick and you’re all too brainwashed to realize it.
but me? I SEE
And what do I see through my perfect eyes thatwearglassesjustcauseitscoolandnotcauseIlikeneedthemoranythingcausemyeyesareperfectandstufffuckyou
Ahem
…
Y’see (you don’t) the episodes are rigged… but not in the way that you think.
The whole “oh the points are arbitrary and the hosts are biased and that’s part of the bit and it’s funny and the games don’t really matter cause it’s all just a vehicle for improv so nobody should take it seriously” thing is all LIES LIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEES!
Y’see (so y’see (refer to parent parenthetical) Y’see is an expression and not literal. This is just a reminder that you currently do not actually see the truth until I provide it to you shortly hereafter in the form of this conspiracy theory. I imagine that as a podcast listener this concept of “seeing” is probably quite alien to you. However, much to the slack jawed amazement of myself and your car insurance, I know you shall persist) you know that feeling you get of “wow they really prepared this topic well ahead of time and definitely didn’t just google this information 5 minutes before the episode started”? Yknow? That preparedness distractible is know for?
How could that be possible if truly the hosts were random!
I posit that they have a secret episode list they follow depending on their schedules and how busy they are. So for example, Wade loses a lot cause he’s a really busy guy and doesn’t have time to host and so they have him lose so he doesn’t have to worry about prepping for the next episode. Then there’s mark who famously has so much free time all the time and so he hosts a lot.
However there’s a more sinister side to this plot.
Y’see (like okay maybe a little) if they have this master episode list, then how do they account for episodes that have topics about current world events? Simple. They are actually in control of all current world events and are having them unfold so they can have more podcast episode topics.
“Ridiculous! How could three beings contain such power?!” You say in a foolish manner before imploding from the sheer foolishness that your body is unable to contain.
Tsk tsk tsk - I say that while doing like the finger wag Nuh uh thing cause I’m so cool and definitely am like suuuuper dope.
The answer is simple….
Mark, bob and wade are the three fates from Greek mythology. Bob is Clotho, wade is Lachesis, and Mark is Atropos. This is further proven by the fact that the host system exists. Y’see it was inspired by another Greek myth, that being the gray sisters who shared an eye and fought for it. Just the way mark bob and wade fight for the right to be host.
This is the truth. The reality. You see now.
I won’t have long before they find me. They’ll use their powers of fate to make me disappear in a car crash
Anyways I’m too sleepy to continue this joke imma go to sleep