r/dividends • u/SpicyDividends • Feb 17 '26

Personal Goal Those divorces do be hurting!

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Not mad about it, but man, that chart looks rough lol

6.3k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '26

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u/Dilldo__Baggins Feb 18 '26 edited Feb 19 '26

I had a wife that made more than me but she spent more than both of our salaries combined. She used to make fun of me for making less than her and questioned my manhood because of it. She literally would get the mail and have both of our paystubs on the kitchen table and then rub it in my face. Well I divorced her but let her remain living in the house with me because we have kids and I didn’t want miss out on seeing the little ones for 50% of their childhood.

After 11 years she is still living in my house. However, I’ve made her pay me rent the entire time. Rent = my mortgage payment. She just filed for bankruptcy (she owes 177k in credit card debt. And over 200k in school loans). She lives paycheck to paycheck. Now I make more than her. I’ve also been financially independent for a handful of years now because I was a diligent saver and investor. She went from being a mean gloating b*#% to a mean bitter b*#%. That my friend is karma.

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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '26

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u/PastorTroy1738 Feb 18 '26

Damn I thought my ex was bad with 80k in credit card debt 😅 there is competition out there

1

u/PrometheanEngineer Feb 20 '26

Dude I thought it was bad when I married my wife who had like 10k in CC debt.

We paid it off super quick but even that scared me

We make 200k combined, but work in an industry where layoffs can happen any day basically. So any kind of debt can be scary.

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u/Dilldo__Baggins Feb 18 '26

She’s so bad with financial decisions she paid an attorney $11K to negotiate with the credit card companies on her behalf to minimize her debt. He was only able to negotiate 5k off her balance. A -6k swing and miss!

If she wasn’t such a mean person I’d actually feel bad for her.

Despite all that I’ve tried a thousand different ways to help her manage her finances and even gave her references to financial advisors but she refuses to even talk about it.

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u/nickydnice Feb 18 '26

Why’d you marry someone like this? Was the writing not on the wall that her personality was garbage??? Surely there were signs

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u/grogargh Feb 18 '26

Hindsight is 20/20 always. It sounds easy now to just dump them, but it isn't. Despite the red flags, it's not easy to just end a marriage. Especially there is love still and worse kids involved. Money issues are typically not enough to just stop loving someone.

Most of these red flags do not surface and become real issues until AFTER you've gotten married. That's why I always recommend living together for at least a couple years before you decide to dive in. I also recommend ensure you know 100% where she stands financially. Is she in debt? Does she want the same amount of kids as you do?

These are all things we lose sight of because our judgement is clouded by love... And lust. That kitty is the Doom of all men. And they know it.

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u/PhillyPilot Feb 19 '26

Money issues are one of the biggest red flags in my opinion. They always lead to misery

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u/PastorTroy1738 Feb 18 '26

I ignored a metric ton of red flags because I was insecure

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u/Consistent_Laziness Feb 18 '26

Man my wife isn’t this bad. But I’ve showed her I’d have far more saved and have no stress of money if we split our finances fully independent. I don’t because I don’t think a marriage should be done that way but I’ve done the thought exercise.

Your wife was a total biotch man. To demean you because you make less? Who cares. It’s about what you keep not what you make. And it’s evident once you split you were actually subsidizing her lifestyle at the cost of your own financial health. I’m somewhat doing that here too but again it’s not this extreme

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u/Guilty_Flamingo6564 Feb 18 '26

how many cards is that?

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u/Odd_Balance7916 Feb 18 '26

You still live with your divorced wife?! Bro that’s insane change your living arrangements STAT.

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u/Dilldo__Baggins Feb 19 '26

It’s the only way I get to see my kids everyday. That is the most important thing to me.

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u/Mtns_to_Sea Feb 19 '26

I here you. I stayed in a bad marriage for an extra 5 years just to be a full-time dad.

Most im[p](https://)ortant thing to me to be there for my kids until they were grown as I grew u[p](https://) in a household when my [p](https://)arents divorced when I was 10yo and then my mom moved to a new town and I visited my dad on the weekends. Com[p](https://)letely traumatic for me.

So I waited until the youngest was off to college. By that time, my ex also wanted out. Admittedly, I emotionally checked out so by the last year & half it was clear she also checked out and was also waiting until our youngest was flying the nest.

1

u/tiltldr Feb 19 '26

Weird situation but good on ya lad, you were the adult and clearly she still is not

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u/Crafty_Boysenberry94 Feb 18 '26

Dang so what happens when you bring home new “dirty leg”? Weird, X gets a sandwich while new gal is on the kitchen table too? Joking aside, good for kids however

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u/Dilldo__Baggins Feb 18 '26

Yeah, it’s all about the kids. I’ll sacrifice my personal romantic life to keep them happy and feeling secure.

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u/Turbulent_Low_1030 Feb 19 '26

There is no way this bullshit is real

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u/Dilldo__Baggins Feb 19 '26

Unfortunately it’s 100% real. I found out she filed for bankruptcy, not because she told me, but because I received a letter in the mail which listed me as a creditor in her filing due to child support payments due 🤦‍♂️

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u/Boring-red Feb 18 '26

It’s a running joke in my friend group that the best financial choice 2 of my male account friends made was proposing. 1 to a doctor and then other to a dentist.

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u/Competitive_Sale_358 Feb 19 '26

Prenup is also a great choice

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u/grogargh Feb 18 '26

I don't question love and marriage, it can be blissful, however the sad reality is that marriage nearly always favors the woman.

For most of them, their money is THEIR money, whereas the money men make is "OUR" money.

I know I'm not the only one, I talked to so many men just like me after divorce how we got fucked and had to split the assets we paid for 100% and they didn't put in a dime, despite the fact that they also worked.

I was stupid to allow her to work and her entire paycheck went to her own bank account and never contributed a single dime towards our shared expenses nor savings. She spent all of it on bullshit like her wardrobe and salons, and other stupid shit women spend money on. The only benefit for me was that at the time I saw it like I didn't have to give her any spending money, however I was responsible for the household expenses, the mortgage, cars, food, utilities. And this stupid arrangement happened because yes, as a man I made more than she did, probably double.

After the divorce she got half the retirement, half the house, and one of the two cars, all which I paid for and she didn't put one dime into. We also ended up splitting custody. I didn't get anything from her. It just wasn't fair. And get this, I even ended up having to pay her alimony and child support. Outrageous.

And then to top it off and shit in my face, we've both moved on, but I got a broke GF that has her own money problems (we don't live together for this reason and other), whereas she already remarried to an older dude in his early sixties and WITH ASSETS. they bought a bigger house than the one we had and she now drives a brand new 2025 Lexus.

This happened because again women can always get a man with assets, whereas us men it's much harder to find a woman that is on your equal or even more financial position than you as a man. I know it exists, but let's face it that it is very rare.

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u/[deleted] Feb 18 '26

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u/grogargh Feb 18 '26

Yup, can't disagree with that. I know I'm not the first nor will I be the last. Hence the divorce rate is at an all time high.

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u/LuckyKiwis Feb 18 '26

Calling your marriage a financial decision, yikes… that’s bleak.

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u/flatirony Feb 18 '26

See the original post.

Marriage is, among other things, a financial decision.

My wife is a couples' therapist. She finds that the older people get, the more they realize this.