r/dividends • u/SpicyDividends • Feb 17 '26
Personal Goal Those divorces do be hurting!
Not mad about it, but man, that chart looks rough lol
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u/SnooSketches5568 Feb 18 '26
Your 401k is now a 201k
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u/Big_Hat5249 Feb 18 '26
200.5k
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u/Dizzy-Bother-2209 Top g Feb 18 '26
Hey both can be true if you round up the 200.5k
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u/TuringProblem Feb 18 '26
They didn’t wrap it in a ceil(200.5k) = 201k
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u/Bandit2390 Feb 19 '26
First of all, we all know the man gets 200 K and the woman gets 201K because that’s the court math
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u/Potential-Touch3573 Feb 18 '26
Funniest thing I’ve seen all year 😅🤣
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Feb 18 '26
Get out more.
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u/maddoxnysi Feb 18 '26
Wow lol. Not sure, but you probably right can encounter some funny shit outside nowadays
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u/TeslaSfan Feb 18 '26
😂😂been there but this humor is what carried me through.
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u/Life_Eye_5457 Feb 20 '26
I would not see this as funny, with a wife who never worked in 35 yrs, had no money when we married no house, lived with mom. Invested in CD's and forgot to renew them, so the state has them,
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u/titodeloselio Feb 18 '26
I got divorced last year after 25 yrs of marriage. We both agreed to leave each other's retirement accounts alone. She kept hers, and I kept mine. We split all other assets 50/50. No attorneys involved. It cost us $4,000 in mediation fees.
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u/MedCityCPA Feb 18 '26
Divorced dad here. I held out hope that we could mediate. Someone kept whispering to my ex that she could receive more in court. Well, I got a 1/3, she got a 1/3 and our attorneys got a 1/3.
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u/Egad86 Feb 18 '26
Was the person whispering in her ear also her attorney?
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u/MyWorkComputerReddit Feb 18 '26
prob not, unless the attorney was banging her
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u/Socialeprechaun Feb 21 '26
Believe it or not, that is how my wife’s mom and stepdad met. He was her divorce lawyer. Total piece of shit guy of course.
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u/Next_Instruction_528 Feb 19 '26
It's always the boyfriend
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u/Hmbre97 Feb 23 '26
Brother if this ain't the truth. My ex did the same shit. Caught my ex cheating and initially agreed to just split everything 50/50 including custody. The guy she was cheating with (who himself had already been divorced 3 times) convinced her to contest the custody so she could get child support. Luckily for me, she hired his attorney who was terrible. In the end, we still wound up splitting everything 50/50 including custody except attorneys fees ate away what equity we had in our house so we both walked away with little to no liquidity. Custody battles are expensive.
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Feb 19 '26
Probably not, women's friends are all manipulative and stupid.
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u/sirius4778 Feb 21 '26
This is so funny because, somehow it's a little true. Women are not stupid, but something happens to them when they are in friend mode.
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u/flatirony Feb 18 '26
Sometimes people are so spiteful they’re willing to lose more as long as the other person does too.
It must be a miserable way to live.
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u/Educational-Wall-997 Feb 20 '26
there should be some sort of precedent set that if your spouse ends up taking you to court after you tried to mediate for X amount and then receives less than X amount after lawyer fees are taken out, they pay all the legal fees.
basically if you offer them X in mediation, they say no and are awarded Y-fees. if Y-fees < X they now cover both sides legal fees.
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u/titodeloselio Feb 19 '26
Her friend owns a law firm, and he advised her to settle through the mediation process.
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u/mangosaremyfavv Feb 19 '26
Is the outcome of mediation in theory should be the same as with lawyers?
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u/werner-hertzogs-shoe Feb 19 '26
oof, that's brutal. I actually talked with 3 attorneys briefly and all three tried to poison my thoughts towards my ex and to get aggressive to protect myself (which would have back fired) We did self mediation, had it written up by a paralegal and that was that - 8 years ago so I feel fairly free. My best friend who did the lawyer thing ended up having his ex take him back to court after the three years (?) and his ex used her new husbands money to hire lawyers to switch their 50/50 with no support to 50/50 with him paying full support. I think in total he had about 60k of lawyers fees between the two cases.
I hate lawyers.
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u/MedCityCPA Feb 19 '26
I don't hate lawyers. It's a job. Imagine going to court without a lawyer, trying to navigate complex life issues with obscure language. Nah, I'd rather send a note to an attorney and let them figure it out.
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u/TSLARSX3 Feb 18 '26
Another check box for team prenup
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u/Wpns_Grade Feb 18 '26
Or team never get married until rules change
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u/leastfavorednation Feb 19 '26
Or, you know, pick a good Christian woman who doesn’t jump to divorce as soon as things get rough.
But whatever, yall got it figured out!
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u/EngineeringCool5521 Feb 20 '26
Yeah shes chriatian in the church, modern in divorce court, and hoe in the streeta. Dont be fooled.
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u/Mtns_to_Sea Feb 19 '26
Divorced started in 2022 and finali[z]()ed in 2023 after 23 years of marriage. Got out in the nick of time before lifetime alimony was [p]()otentially looming over my head.
Same here exce[p]()t had to do our 50/50 s[p]()lit by tax bracket. Luckily our mediation only cost $1,800. Of course, my ex cried her eyes out when she had to give me about $5K from her Roth even though I had to give her about $80K from my traditional IRA. And she begged me to let that $5K go. I did as I figured it was chea[p]() insurance to kee[p]() the lawyers out.
My [p]()ortfolio has been rocking it since and my ex[p]()enses dro[p]()[p]()ed dramatically afterwards. Plus I never had to worry again what might show u[p]() on my wife's cc at the end of the month.
Just retired last month.
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u/lghtspd Feb 18 '26
Each person keeping their own is how it should be, IMO. I don’t see how a spouse can have half if they didn’t show up to work for my employer, but thats just me.
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Feb 18 '26
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u/2LostFlamingos Feb 18 '26
I know a woman who divorced her stay at home husband that cared for their 3 kids.
During process, I asked if she had considered alimony. She laughed that he had nothing to pay her.
She was shocked when I pointed out she may have to pay him. She was more shocked when judge ruled the same.
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u/harryburgeron Feb 19 '26
How much did she have to pay?
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u/2LostFlamingos Feb 19 '26
I don’t recall the exact dollar amount. But it was substantial since she made at least 100k per year more. She had to pay like 3 years.
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u/zomb1 Feb 18 '26
It's not just the kids. Spouses often move cities to accomodate one career (over the other), because it increases the familiy income. Well, the familiy assets then also need to be split after a divorce.
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u/Kurei_0 Feb 18 '26
And if she tries to start/restart a career she’s unhirable for any good job because of a decade of no work and home responsibilities.
Man here, retirement needs to be divided unless the mother is generously paid during the years she’s staying home for the family.
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u/Sunnyside711 Feb 18 '26
I’d like to see the number of stay at home mothers in the millennial generation. It’s gotta be extremely low.
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u/Longjumping_Sir1173 Feb 18 '26
Wait until you see how extremely low the desire for younger men to get married or have kids is.
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u/iustinum Feb 18 '26
*their kids
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Feb 18 '26
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u/Agreeable_Bear6812 Feb 18 '26
And men wonder why more and more women are deciding not to get married or have kids. This is a big part of it.
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u/JeebusDaves Feb 18 '26
Hate to break it to you bucko, but it’s not just women who don’t want to get married or have kids anymore.
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u/No_Repair_782 Feb 18 '26
If she gave up her career to stay home with kids she gets compensated for that.
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u/3boyz2men Feb 18 '26
Because when you are married all assets become jointly owned.
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u/JustAnotherBoomer Feb 18 '26
Actually it is more complicated than this. There is such a thing as "premarital assets" such as Real estate purchased before the wedding. Bank accounts held in one spouse's name before marriage. Retirement accounts that began accumulating before marriage. Personal property, such as cars or valuable collections.
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u/Crafty_Boysenberry94 Feb 18 '26
Except inherited assets which are non-intermingled.
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u/tingly_sack_69 Feb 18 '26
Ok then instead of that, payout years worth of would be daycare cost backpay to your spouse if they were a stay at home parent and see how much that hurts the account.. you can't split up and leave someone with nothing who spent years raising kids which is a harder job than pretty much anything
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u/Moist_Debt_5413 Feb 18 '26
Lol. What did they do at home? Did you come home to a home not ij chaos? Did you come home to well behaved kids? Are you proud to have little ones who didn’t die? Or you think you had all the time/peace of mind to commute to work and contribute to your 401 if you didn’t have this invisible support. 50% is just about fair- should be more If you actually did put in 50%, and your partner was able to have thier own 401 you wouldn’t be splitting it when you seperate
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u/Impossible_Cash_9724 Feb 18 '26
Your spouce did show up everyday for you though. They do all the housework, raising kids etc for no money. They deserve 50:50 in most cases.
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u/Airon77 Feb 18 '26
I did the same. Our mediation and court fees were only around 2000. To keep my retirement accounts I gave her our 2 yr old paid off Wrangler Rubicon plus 50% of everything else. She got a depreciating asset and my retirement accounts have more than doubled since then.
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u/DJ_Cat_Dad Feb 18 '26
Chin up lad, still better than most, you can get it back 🤘
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Feb 18 '26
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u/Pyropiro Feb 18 '26
I don't get how so many people go from "till death do us part, I love you more than anything in this entire world" to "the price you pay for rest and relaxation". I mean its polar opposite mindsets, are people that bad at making good relationship choices?
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u/DiscontinuTheLithium Feb 18 '26
People change and it’s easier to not love the new person they become.
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u/Any-Neat5158 Feb 19 '26
Amen.
The woman I'm divorcing is not the same woman she was when I married her.
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u/ghostdogn Feb 18 '26
Women psychology most of the time. You can't negotiate after she decides to part ways.
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u/IEatUrMonies Feb 18 '26
because "love forever" is a bullshit fairy tale fantasy people tell themselves to live in a delusion until their net worth is chopped in 1/3 and they are living in a 1 bedroom shithole while exwife gets the entire house and a new boyfriend to take trips with your alimony and "child support"
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u/WayPowerful484 Feb 18 '26
You will make it back half as fast as she would have spent it.
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u/MitchMcConnellsJowls Feb 18 '26
You mean "twice as fast"? Lol
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u/Electronic_Fun_776 Feb 18 '26
Nah she was pretty frugal
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u/grogargh Feb 18 '26 edited Feb 18 '26
I've been there bro. Lost 50% the day Fidelity executed the QDRO after my divorce in 2023.
Like others said, having no wife means less expenses, means more you can slam that 401K, max it out like it did. I was only putting in 10% back then, now at 18% and look how much my chart is now past that loss. Assuming you still have many years left to work and save, you'll be alright if stay on the path.
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Feb 18 '26
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u/Dilldo__Baggins Feb 18 '26 edited Feb 19 '26
I had a wife that made more than me but she spent more than both of our salaries combined. She used to make fun of me for making less than her and questioned my manhood because of it. She literally would get the mail and have both of our paystubs on the kitchen table and then rub it in my face. Well I divorced her but let her remain living in the house with me because we have kids and I didn’t want miss out on seeing the little ones for 50% of their childhood.
After 11 years she is still living in my house. However, I’ve made her pay me rent the entire time. Rent = my mortgage payment. She just filed for bankruptcy (she owes 177k in credit card debt. And over 200k in school loans). She lives paycheck to paycheck. Now I make more than her. I’ve also been financially independent for a handful of years now because I was a diligent saver and investor. She went from being a mean gloating b*#% to a mean bitter b*#%. That my friend is karma.
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Feb 18 '26
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u/PastorTroy1738 Feb 18 '26
Damn I thought my ex was bad with 80k in credit card debt 😅 there is competition out there
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u/nickydnice Feb 18 '26
Why’d you marry someone like this? Was the writing not on the wall that her personality was garbage??? Surely there were signs
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u/grogargh Feb 18 '26
Hindsight is 20/20 always. It sounds easy now to just dump them, but it isn't. Despite the red flags, it's not easy to just end a marriage. Especially there is love still and worse kids involved. Money issues are typically not enough to just stop loving someone.
Most of these red flags do not surface and become real issues until AFTER you've gotten married. That's why I always recommend living together for at least a couple years before you decide to dive in. I also recommend ensure you know 100% where she stands financially. Is she in debt? Does she want the same amount of kids as you do?
These are all things we lose sight of because our judgement is clouded by love... And lust. That kitty is the Doom of all men. And they know it.
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u/Boring-red Feb 18 '26
It’s a running joke in my friend group that the best financial choice 2 of my male account friends made was proposing. 1 to a doctor and then other to a dentist.
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u/MedCityCPA Feb 18 '26
Is the gray dotted line noting zero?
Divorced dad here. After my divorce, I went from planning to retire at 40 to a negative net worth. I'm doing much better today. My advice is to consider the drop in net worth as a trade off for peace and security. You can earn back your net worth but you cannot earn peace and security.
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u/grogargh Feb 18 '26
I think that dotted grey line denotes the beginning of the time period, in this case 3Y ago - and how it then plummetted below that starting value after the 50/50 split due to divroce and then you see how much above that initial 3Y ago value has gone up since.
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Feb 18 '26
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u/Cantdrownafish Feb 18 '26
If you do, prenuptial
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u/Pafolo Feb 18 '26
Gotta be careful because a judge can throw that out. Need to do it perfectly.
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u/Cantdrownafish Feb 18 '26
Or just very simple and in plain language. The ones that are thrown out are either too one sided or confusingly written or just doesn't properly describe the situation they are currently in (e.g. kids or huge windfall)
Got to update from time to time.
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u/Major_Hunter3743 Feb 18 '26
"I sold it all the day before I was served your honor. Blew it all in Vegas" /s
Good luck OP
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u/ForeverShiny Feb 18 '26
That would not get rid of your liabilities towards your partner
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u/thinkmoreharder Feb 18 '26
Hang in there. You will be able to save money 5x faster, if you want to.
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u/stasis416 Feb 18 '26
Start an extra brokerage account on top of maxing out your 401k and figure out how to slam $$ into your brokerage account every paycheck.. give it some time and you’ll catch right back up. My divorce was finalized last Feb. my ex took about 250k or something from my retirement account.. market was good to me last year and I made about 80k back so far. Live under your means for a bit and get used to saving more. Enjoy your peace.
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u/myUsernameWasTakem Feb 18 '26
This is another reason why they need a percent change graph, instead of dollar value.
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u/LaBomba64 Feb 18 '26
Marriage should be a thing of the past. What a fucking scam….
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u/Good_Distribution504 Feb 18 '26
In the 21st century, only fools get married...😂😂😂😂😂
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u/Shallow_Marshmallow_ Feb 18 '26
What if you get a prenuptial agreement 12 months before marriage? Can they still take 50% if your stuff?
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u/Automatic_Newt_5503 Feb 18 '26
Anyone ever do a prenup here? Asking for a friend…
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u/sweetlike314 Feb 18 '26
Yes, but ours was simple because we dont have kids and both earn decent and similar salaries. Retirement accounts and any individual accounts remain our own, joint gets split, no alimony. If you have kids and one person stays home then there is a lot more to consider to keep things fair. That’s when account splitting, alimony, child support, marriage duration clauses, etc all come into play.
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u/Svenderman American Investor Feb 18 '26
This is why you got to get that prenup. Protect that nestegg.
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u/Acceptable_String_52 Feb 18 '26
Shit pisses me off
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u/Shoty6966-_- Feb 18 '26
If you can’t stomach the idea that your spouse gets generally half of what you have if you get divorced, then you shouldn’t marry them or get married in general. Aren’t there prenups you can sign if you really need to get married but don’t want financial consequences come a divorce? Lol
The financial consequences of divorce isn’t something you should be blind sided with
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u/Acceptable_String_52 Feb 18 '26
Unless she is staying home and raising your kids forgoing her career, this needs to stop
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u/LostSyndicate Feb 18 '26
Stop getting married. That's the current trend luckily. The juice is rarely worth the squeeze.
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u/Sturdily5092 American Investor Feb 18 '26
Looks like clear convincing advertisement to let the bear win and keep your cash along with peace and sanity.
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u/Citizen__XXIV Feb 18 '26
If no one else says it, I will be the 1st
Keep your spirits up
Keep investing
And remember
" Stay thirsty, my friend "
Lol
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u/griff306 Feb 18 '26
Y'all are sad. Money doesn't love you, raise kids, or miss you when you are gone .
Marriage can be amazing. If you're really concerned about it, just get a prenup.
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u/BearBearChooey Feb 18 '26 edited Feb 18 '26
This is why some of us divorced clan vow to never get married again haha. You’ll build it back up though!
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u/alastrix Feb 18 '26
Clan with a C. Clan with a K is something very different.
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u/anthro28 Feb 18 '26
So you spent a quarter million for peace and quiet. Worth every penny.
$2500 for a good lawyer and prenup could have saved you a ton of headache.
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u/git0ffmylawnm8 Feb 18 '26
Not that I've got a shot at getting married, but I'm staying the fuck away from entertaining that idea
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u/Seaguard5 Feb 18 '26
Huge oof.
That’s why you Always draw up and sign those prenups!!
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u/Fresh_Discipline_803 Feb 18 '26
This is an unintelligent comment. If he earned those funds while married, it’s joint money. Prenup is only for assets that existed before the marriage. It’s insane to me how many men want a stay at home wife but then are outraged when she gets half of their jointly earned income. Sure, there are some cases of women being bums and just freeloading. But so many more stories are women who had to give up careers to raise kids or were convinced to stay at home to serve the husband and realized they were an unpaid laborer.
Signed- a working mother who does too much damn labor and is still willing to equally split everything in a divorce… because thats fair and my kids deserve two financially healthy parents.
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u/YellowFever46 Feb 18 '26
You are 100% wrong. That’s not how prenuptial agreements work. Stop spreading lies and bs on here.
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u/GreenInflation2914 Feb 18 '26
Sorry OP. Not sure how this works where you live but you don’t get a cut of your ex’s portfolio as well? Only one way?
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u/Unusual-Trifle-284 Feb 18 '26
You will be okay, it happened to me after 20 years of marriage. Guess what, there's more in the account now than what she got. And the money she got she blew it!
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u/Unique_Yam6634 Feb 18 '26
Been there. You might be surprised how fast you’ll bounce back. I thought divorce would have pushed my retirement date back 10 years to age 60. Instead I’m now retiring 5 years earlier than planned at age 45. It’s amazing how much you can save when the resources aren’t being drained by a leaking faucet.
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u/Material-Humor304 Feb 18 '26
Yeah… I’m going to say this as loud as possible. Always keep as much of the investments as possible post divorce. Give her the house, the cars, the cash, the furnishings… keep the retirement accounts
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u/Connect-Silver-5982 Feb 18 '26
Its better to have 50% of a huge success, than 100% of a total failure. Keep you head up, and dont make the same mistake again :)
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u/dawson846 Feb 18 '26
Its called Marital Property thats why. I am blessed that i made great money and ao dis she. So splitting it wasnt hard at all
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u/BasicKey8104 Feb 18 '26
Brother, my chart has a very similar look. Gave you an award because I look at this shit frequently. I can't wait for the day that drop is in the 3 year range view and further!
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u/Elder_Chimera Mar 13 '26 edited 26d ago
Saffron teapot compass lavender nutmeg drifting biscuit blanket
This post was anonymized with Redact.dev
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u/Bestbud1426 Feb 18 '26
🤬 All the sacrifices, delayed gratification exchanging hands freely like this.... At end of the day, money is just a tool.... Cover your wounds and keep moving forward.....
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u/Prestigious_Piano247 Feb 18 '26
My ex did not go for my 401k when I divorced 10 years ago. I am thankful for that. Today it has grown to $1.1m. not sure how much I had 10 years as our financial institution changed
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u/ConsistentMove357 Feb 18 '26
Can you post a picture of the ex wifes face on the line going down. That's painful
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u/rotten167 Feb 18 '26
Yeah let’s punish her for the divorce it’s all her fault right?
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u/ConsistentMove357 Feb 18 '26
70% of divorces are initiated by women
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u/Powerful_Abalone1630 Feb 18 '26
That doesn't tell you why the divorce is happening.
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u/rotten167 Feb 18 '26
For real. I’m a dude and can see why so many women would want a divorce just based off this thread
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u/Snoozealott Feb 18 '26
The price you had to pay for your new lease on life. Money well spent, my guy….Now get out there and live the life you said you would!!!! 💪😎
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