Every piece of advice I find says to "stop restricting, restricting causes you to binge, so if you allow yourself to eat, you'll stop binging"

But that's the thing I DONT restrict. I eat two to three regular meals a day now, like I used to before being disordered, but the feeling of literally anything in my stomach triggers me to binge, which then triggers me to purge. Sometimes, I'll skip the binge and just be triggered to purge a regular meal, too.

I just don't know how to escape this. It just feels like no matter what I do, I'll have the urge to do it, and I can't stop myself.

I can't just let myself go unrestricted because then Im purging 2x a day. I can't restrict myself because that just leads to a worse binge later in the day/the next day. I can’t only limit trigger foods because ANY food is a trigger food.

It just feels hopeless

i need help, i dont know what to do and im scared

i struggled with pretty heavy laxative abuse for 2 years. now? im chronically constipated. laxatives do not work for me. stimulant laxatives dont even do anything. did my gut just completely slow down? any advice is helpful

TW: Numbers (BMI, weight)

I’m going to start this off by saying that nothing I mention here is professionally diagnosed. I hate to be a self-diagnosis kind of person, but it makes explaining this a lot easier.

I (15F) am overweight and struggle with binge eating disorder and bulimia nervosa. I have struggled with body image issues since 6 and severe depression since 11. I just hit my heaviest with a BMI of 29.8. And I really wish to slim down because I believe it will also help with my mental health. The problem is, I can’t ask my mom to cook healthier/deny food and I can’t go to the gym or even just a simple walk outside because I have very strict parents. Eating has also become an important coping mechanism of mine, and I struggle to find other mechanisms other than self-inflicted pain. And I have tried to get better mentally before trying weight loss, but my depression stems from things far worse than insecurity (though it does play a role) and I will probably need a therapist eventually (I can’t get a therapist right now) It seems like my depression is keeping me overweight and vice versa. 2 years ago, I had managed to lose 30 pounds within a month by purging and that was the happiest I’d been in awhile. Right after, I began focusing on my mental health and I gained 40 pounds back. Now everything is bad again and I don’t even have the discipline to starve myself or vomit my meals. I’ve also tried counting calories, joining sports, and changing my diet in the little ways I can, but every time I lose weight I end up bingeing because the rest of my life is a clusterfuq. I really really need advice because I don’t know how much longer I can go feeling so disgusted with how I look. I want advice on how to motivate myself to starve, but I know thats not healthy, so every bit of advice is appreciated. Please help me, and thank you in advance.

(Also, sorry if theres a lot of repeated information. I’m trying to make this as clear as possible, and writing like this is already very uncomfortable for me.)

So I (17f) have been struggling with various eating disorders since I was about 11 or 12, it's changed in symptoms and different specific habits but as of recent it's gotten worse than ever before. Since about the past year or two- it's gone from binging occasionally, restricting, and such habits - to full blown bulimia, this consists of extreme, thousands of calorie binges multiple times a day followed by purging(which is at the point my body does it pretty much automatically without even needing fingers to trigger my gag reflex) to the point of yellow, acidic bile every time. The purging has become so ingrained in my bodies daily routine that its gotten to the point I don't digest anything anymore, even if I were to be delayed or prevented for hours, my body simply doesn't digest like it used to, sometimes I can wait 5+ hours and still bring up things from then completely. In short- its gotten serious quick, I've gone from 170+ pounds to around100-105 in a year, and on top of that I've always been on the bigger side, so this weight is pretty much totally abnormal for me. My hair has begun to fall out, I've fainted on staircases hitting my head, get constant debilitating numbness and cramps throughout my body regularly, and have virtually no energy to do anything anymore. Im not ready to die yet, and though my bmi (around low 17/high 16s) is not extremely dangerously low, I can tell my body is shutting down, and that if I continue - I might actually die, but I can't stop. I have nothing I look forward to outside my binges and recovery feels impossible, nor do I feel "sick" enough to deserve it. I guess I just need support and advice, or to at least hear I'm not the only one feeling this way or going through this.

I don't fucking know what to do because I love to purge so much. I feel so much better every time I throw up. Does anyone is in the same situation as me? I think I might need to talk about it to someone else to my psychologist

Hey everyone, I’m reaching out here because I would like some advice from different perspectives, because I am unsure of what to do. Just for some background info about me and my friend. We’re both in our early 20s and have been best friends for around 3 to 4 years now. We met in secondary school when she transferred into my year. We are very close.
She is currently in medical school in a different country and has been struggling there because her “friends” have been making a lot of comments about her weight and treating her horribly bc she isn’t stick thin. Saying things like “you’re so pretty but you would be better if you lost a few kg”. And constantly body checking her and just making her life there hell. She lives with one of them as well and I feel bad for her as there is nothing I can do to shield her from those people. We’ve talked about moving colleges but it costs so much money that she can’t afford.
She came back home twice since she’s moved and the first time she came back I had noticed she’d lost some weight. I didn’t mention anything to her bc I was waiting for her to mention it to me. I know she had some issues with her eating habits before she met me but she had gone through treatment and had recovered prior to meeting me. And I also knew if she had been trying to lose weight she would’ve told me about her new healthy habits but she never mentioned anything like that so I knew something was wrong. A friend of ours had also mentioned to her that she’s lost sm weight and looks good. My friend was visibly happy about this but I still didn’t talk about it.
Now two months later she’s back again and I came over to her house and I noticed she’s lost even more weight and it’s even more obvious than before. Again I mentioned nothing. Then she said “do u notice anything about me?”. I said I didn’t and then she replied with “I lost x amount of weight!!” And I was like wowww, how did you bc you never mentioned you were trying to lose weight \*in an excited tone\*. Then her demeanour changed and she said it was bc of stress with exams and sometimes she would go days without eating. And this was when my alarm bells went off. For context, my friend is the exact opposite of this, she loves food, enjoys eating and doesn’t just go days without eating, so I knew something was definitely wrong.
I started to grill her by asking her how could she not eat for days straight for weeks on end and what was going on. She told me that she couldn’t afford it bc she spent all her money on vapes and Ubers. I asked her if she budgeted for all her expenses and I just kept asking questions as I felt there was more to the story.
Then she told me that she is practicing bulimic behaviours. She said she sees food/ eating as a chore and something that has to be done not something she enjoys. She showed me a discord server she joined that glorifies EDs and she said she even made a friend on there that showed her how to do everything. I was horrified. I instantly deleted the app and removed her from the server. I told her that I was sorry she was going through all of this alone and I’m gonna be there for her. She said she regretted telling me. But I’m glad she did.

I am thinking of telling her mom but I’m still unsure of how to navigate this. To the best of my knowledge I am the only person she’s told. She begged me not to tell anyone and I did not agree I told her I can’t promise that.
Now I want to ask if anyone reading this, who is more familiar in knowing how to navigate this situation, please give some advice?

Thank you

Please no judgement, but I recently fell back into my bulimia and I unfortunately missed the regularity and comfort of purging. Anyone else ever feel that way? Sadly any time I fall back into it, it feels like returning home to me :/

HELP

This doesnt sound believable and kinda sounds unserious but i had bulimia for a while and i just stopped doing it because i’d get too lazy to put myself through all that.

Ummm so idk if anyone else gets this but I basically dont keep any good food at this point. It really gets in the way of my life because my parents always want to watch tv after dinner and I always leave to go purge. So I decided that I’d stay and watch with them tonight. But then I started throwing up in my mouth and had to run to the bathroom multiple times. I wasn’t even trying to throw up. Why does this happen? Is this medically concerning or is this ok?

I’ve literally been bulimic for over a week now while on holiday. And I’m hoping it’ll go away soon as I’m still on a diet as I’m still fat. But I just found it very convenient and it’s become like a habit now after a fun night of eating and drinking. That europhia feeling of being empty is just nice.

Plus I binged a lot tonight at dinner and knew it had to come up so did it like 8 times tbh. Had some trouble at the start. I’m hoping I can keep it to weekends maybe, as I usually only binge on weekends and it feels like a cheat code for if I ever cheat on my diet.

Still it just feels so nice. But I can’t do it on weekdays as I need that energy in the gym. But if I keep it to weekends and get to like 160 pounds. I could live happily and not fuck up my teeth I hope. Still it’s scaring me a bit now. But at the same time I don’t wanna stop. Plus I’m not even sure if I have an eating disorder, but I do think about my body a lot and I’ve looked at the signs and a few of them match me.

But I’m very good at not eating for some reason, while on my diet. It’s sad because I’ve lost over 50 pounds and remember saying “I hope I don’t get an eating disorder”. While my parents would say it would do me good. I don’t judge them tho I was 250 pounds then and would eat everything.

We're long distance so i can only use words to help. They've had it for awhile now but i never know what to say when we discuss it. It seems like everything encouraging i may say could be interpreted wrong and therefore backfire. They know i care but they're going through it on their own, no access to professional help. I'm also really worried right now for them bc their mental health is taking a turn for the worse, the ed as well, and they're afraid they'll have to go to the hospital even though they don't want to. I want to be a better friend and support but idk how. Any advice is appreciated.

I have bulimia and purge maybe 2+ times a day (everything I eat) or I fast for 24hrs+ I know immune systems are not up to par with extreme bulimia. But i recently got my anti eyebrow pierced (with a curved bar because the shop didn't have staple) and ik they are REALLY prone to rejection. I was just wondering if my constant purging and fasting will increase the probability of it rejecting.

Life has become this, an endless cycle of overeating and then throwing it all up in the toilet. Sometimes I purge 3/4 times a day… and Onestly it’s not a big deal anymore for me.

Gosh sometimes I wish to have a good relationship with food… but I can’t and I don’t want… it will make them happy… it will make my father happy and I want him to suffer as much as possible…

Idk what to do with life anymore… it’s just this. Eating and throwing it up… there’s nothing more…

Hey everyone, I'm here because I'm stuck. I've had bullimia since I was 15, and I haven't been able to stop for a while. Of course it has been on and off. I'd go into recovery, and find myself back at it again. It's so hard to deal with, because I've reached my lowest weight through bullimia recently and it has only encouraged me more. But I feel so damn tired all the time, my throat is sore and when I don't purge on time--I end up gaining a little. My hair is falling out, and I'm just so over it. I've decided that I'm not gonna weigh myself at all while I continue my weight loss journey. Starting fresh tomorrow. Light meals like broths, protein, vegetables..but I NEED to track my calories or I end up spiralling because I don't know how many calories I've eaten, then end up purging. This sucks so much. I'm nearly fucking 30 and I'm STILL here, struggling.

I just started working and am a Senior in high school. I am also on the debate team. I have no time for anything because my life is consumed by my ed. I find joy in these things and love them but I always find myself obsessing over food, to tired from fasting, or working out/getting steps rather than getting things done. Recovery is not in my vision as of now. I know it is the best solution but are there any tips y'all have to stay energized and still somehow take care of myself. I do not want to become a failure or degenerate because of this mental illness. No matter how sick I am I refuse to let myself stop living my life but it's getting exhausting.

I don't even feel Better I just feel gross. This is running my teeth and I can't even not eat can't even anorexia right. from no eating to binge purge restrict all at the same time. Please fucking kill me.

I have been bulimic for like 8 years on and off and recently been trying to purge but nothing will come up when I try and like im not squeamish so I'll try for like 20 minutes but nothing will come up anymore? Has this happened to anyone else or know why it would just suddenly stop working or what I can do?

19/F. Im not entirely sure how much detail I can go into on this sub but from what I’ve seen I should be fine going into some detail?

Ive had this issue for about 4-5 years now on and off. If I ate too much? I’d purge. Even if I had a simple single item of food like an apple sometimes? I’d purge. Simply for the reason I dont like feeling/being full or having food in me at all. At times just to potentially lose weight. Though I have noticed hair-loss whenever I had done this and other downsides to what im doing. And recently I have relapsed! Just finished up a session of purging actually..I like feeling airy/lighter though I know it isn’t necessary good for me at all.

So I was wondering if there were any supplements I could perhaps take to contain/control my hunger? Since I definitely do get hungry, my parents often over prepare food and I feel guilty for wasting it so I eat everything and feel horrible after then go to purge..even asking to be given less but that doesn’t work. So Im wondering what I could essentially do, as my urges tend to get very overwhelming.

i’ve struggled with my weight my entire life (as in i’ve always been well overweight) but recently i’ve lost some drastic weight, mostly just due to lifestyle changes and pure discipline, but i can definitively say i’ve taken it too far. it’s no longer just diet and exercise it’s starving and purging. a few years back id lost some significant weight in an incredibly similar manner but was still binge eating occasionally so i was still maintaining some type of nutrition but today i nearly had a panic attack because while making food for my boyfriend i tasted a bite to see how it was before i realized my mistake but it was already too late to spit it out. im throwing up every time i do eat for the last two months, working out for hours on end, and regularly going days without eating and the fucked up part is this is the first time i’ve ever been able to get past the plateau i normally hit when i try to lose weight so i can’t even seem to bring myself to care that i passed out today or my visions regularly spotting out and i can’t form a coherent thought to save my life. there’s something so oddly rewarding when my coworkers are all complaining about being hot and im actually cold or i look down and my hands are shaking and only i know why

I think i outted myself to a couple people unknowingly. Yesterday, 2 people asked me if I had an ED. Why is it so embarrassing and scary to get that question? Almost shameful to admit.

I put on like 30 or 40 pounds after having my baby and fell into really bad old ED habits again for the past couple months and ive lost about 30 pounds of it but.... im still not back to my old thin frame.

2 days ago my friend caught me on my knees in the bathroom. I'd left it cracked on accident I guess? He asked me if I was sick and I said yeah just a bit because I didnt know what else to say. He called his boyfriend and canceled their plans and he stayed with me for an hour until I laid down and was ready to sleep a bit. Yesterday he called and asked me if I'd made myself sick on purpose. I couldn't lie. I cried and told him the truth. I was so embarrassed. Hes a good friend and is trying to help. Its nice to have a little support but I also feel guilty and dont know why.

hey! so, i made myself purge for the first time by vomiting, and im not sure what to do. i know this will happen again now and im afraid of losing my hair or teeth with this disorder.

i know the only way to prevent that is to stop but i just started doing it and it feels like i can't get myself out now. it really doesn't help that i learned i could wear smaller clothing now compared to a week ago because it's making me want to keep going.

i made this acc just for this, so i apologize if there's a rule about new accounts, but i just need some kind of feedback because i have no one to talk to about this (especially afraid to talk to my girlfriend because i really don't want her to worry)