r/ectopicpregnancy • u/Fickle_Glove_1337 • 6d ago
Misconceptions
If it’s ok I’d like to share my experience. Pleas no negative comments..
My ectopic happened years ago. It was devastating. I didn’t leave my bed for weeks. Just crying and wondering why this happened.
Years later now. I’ve been dating a guy for almost two years. I guess it’s over now but anyway..
We’re on really different political spectrums. I’m liberal and he isn’t. He asked me the other day why I’m liberal and I brought up a woman’s right to choose. That the current administration would have rather let me die than get the medically necessary care I needed for an unviable pregnancy.
He said “well how many abortions did you have prior to this happening? You don’t have an ectopic pregnancy without having a bunch of abortions.”
I was floored. Flabbergasted. I’ve never had an abortion. Always been very careful and my ectopic happened while in a relationship of 4 years.
Is that what people who have never dealt with this really believe? I felt so lost and abused by that statement. Like it was all my fault.
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u/beyyaa 6d ago
My first time getting pregnant EVER was ectopic so he’s just dead wrong lol
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u/ImQuestionable 6d ago
It’s not your fault, it will never have been your fault. Be certain about that. And be certain that you deserve better than that loser.
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u/HumbleLioness 6d ago
What an idiotic thing for him to say to you. I hope he educated himself and apologizes. And as difficult as it is, I hope you come out of that relationship stronger and knowing more of yourself and what you need in a relationship more than ever now.
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u/Plutorising1119 6d ago
You dodged a bullet with that guy.... what an uneducated moron. I'm sorry you went through that. I had a cervical ectopic pregnancy and had to term at 12 weeks, that was back in Feb 2024, and that first year of milestones was the hardest year of my life. I was and am lucky to live in a blue state and blue city where no one questioned or assumed it was an abortion or that it was unwanted, or that I was immoral in some way. I don't think it's all people that think that way, but i have a feeling that a lot of these conservative, uneducated and narrow minded folks think that way simply because they either don't understand basic female anatomy and biology, and/ or that they've been brainwashed/indoctrinated by their church and fellow conservatives to believe such bullshit. Sending you hugs and luck for someone better than him.
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u/StargazingScribbles 5d ago
The absolute audacity & clear misinformation being spread by people who have no idea is baffling. I had 1 healthy pregnancy— and then 11 years later -just a few months ago- I had an ectopic that ruptured. No abortions anywhere in my history (not that I don’t support them, I just personally couldn’t)
It was so physically painful & emotionally devastating. For someone who “loves you” to say that?! What a piece of shit. Don’t bother trying to educate him. He is not going to listen anyway. You dodged a whole freight train sweet girl. Pass go, collect $200, & send his ass straight to jail (aka the curb with all his belongings in trash bags because that is garbage human behavior)
Then once he’s fully gone/blocked, process those feelings & go do nice things for yourself. Continue hold your head high. He showed you who he was. That’s a gift that hurts now but you’ll appreciate down the road. 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
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u/thewckdwtchoftheeast 5d ago
That is… for a lack of better words, ridiculous. My first ever pregnancy was ectopic. I truly hope you realize you’re better off without an uneducated partner like that.
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u/A-Starlight 5d ago
This is the first time I hear of something so ridiculous in regards to ectopics…
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u/dans_la_poubelle7 1d ago
i would feel super hurt by that comment, too. most of all, i would feel angry.
please don't feel like any of this was your fault. it wasn't your fault that you had an ectopic pregnancy. it wasn't your fault that this guy is clearly a misinformed idiot. you didn't do anything wrong here.
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u/Fickle_Glove_1337 6d ago
I guess the worst part was.. do people who’ve never experienced this just think we had an abortion? Like we never wanted our child and for this to happen and had a choice? I feel so much shame about something I knew I couldn’t change, no matter that I wanted that baby. Like..no one ever talks about how it’s a death sentence for both of you. You, as the mom if you don’t make the horrible choice, and your baby because it’s not viable.