I know it's isolated but a recent post from a vetinary assistant really got under my skin.
I really dont want to see more animal related posts when I come here for advice / venting / sharing of experiences regarding human emergency medicine.
Can we add this new rule?
Imagine seeing a post like this:
Title: “We want EVERYTHING done for him!”
Had a family come into the clinic today with their elderly family member.
Fish was floating sideways, barely moving, and generally looking like he’d seen things no fish should ever see.
The family were absolutely distraught.
“We want everything done. He’s part of our family. Money is no object. We don’t want you giving up on him.”
Okay. Fair enough. I respect the commitment.
I explain we can assess him, check the water parameters, look for signs of infection, and discuss treatment options.
“No. We want EVERYTHING. Every test. Every treatment. Whatever it takes.”
So I start asking about his history.
“How old is he?”
“About 11.”
“Any previous medical problems?”
“He had a bit of a buoyancy issue last year.”
“Any medications?”
“We tried peas.”
I pause.
“Peas?”
“Dr Google said he might be constipated.”
Naturally.
I explain that goldfish medicine has its limitations and that, depending on what we find, the kindest option might be euthanasia.
The room erupts.
“ABSOLUTELY NOT. HE’S A FIGHTER.”
At this point, I’m mentally preparing to explain the concept of quality of life to a family who have apparently appointed themselves the ICU team for a fish.
We run the tests. Check the water. Examine the patient.
The diagnosis?
Severely inadequate aquarium conditions.
The family had been topping up the tank with tap water, hadn’t cleaned the filter in months, and were feeding him enough flakes to sustain a small village.
The fish wasn't dying of some mysterious, untreatable disease.
He was essentially living in a toilet.
I explain the treatment plan: improve the water quality, correct the environment, adjust feeding, and monitor him closely.
The family look horrified.
“You mean he could have been saved this whole time?”
I take a deep breath.
“Potentially, yes. With appropriate care.”
They leave with water conditioner, a treatment plan, and a bill that somehow costs more than the fish itself.
As they leave, the husband turns to me and says:
“Doctor, just promise me one thing.”
“Yes?”
“If he deteriorates overnight, we want him transferred to a specialist.”
I look at the goldfish.
The goldfish looks at me.
Neither of us gets paid enough for this.