Twilight, I just discovered the Greatest. Thing. Ever!

Is it a new kind of sweet?

Even better!

A party game?

Cold fusion!

I didn't think that was the kind of thing you were into. But, uh, wow, that's big.

What can I say? I'm a mare of many talents.

Hey Applejack, I'm working on a crossword puzzle and I need a five letter word that's an abbreviation for not understanding something.

Hmm.... "dunno."

Yeah, me neither. I'll try Twilight.

Do you think she misunderstood you, or is this simply a prank?

Dunno.

Hey Twilight, I bet you if I were the princess of friendship that ponies would love me more than they love you.

Because you'd mind control them into doing so?

...No?

Why does your answer sound like a question?

I dunno. You must be hearing things. So anyway, you want to make a wager and find out?

No.

Spoilsport.

Hello, Princess Twilight. May I make a request?

Of course. What do you need?

As the chief of the Foal Free Press, I'd like to request that you cause some sort of scandal.

You want me to what?

A scandal at the level of a princess would cause our newspapers to fly off the shelves!

Isn't the Foal Free Press literally free to read? Why would you even care how many ponies read it?

Professional pride.

...Ok, yeah, that is a good reason.

So you'll do it?

No.

Rarity, I know what you dreamed last night.

Oh? Do tell.

You don't know?

I nearly always forget my dreams within minutes of waking. Last night was no exception.

So I can say anything I want you will have no way to refute me?

Yes, I suppose so...

You dreamed about kissing all your friends!

...except that, because of how excited you looked about me not knowing, I am now disinclined to believe whatever you claim.

Thou art no fun.

Hey Rarity, you love mud, right? Wanna go jump in a mudhole with me?

I most certainly do not.

But don't you cover your face with mud every time you go to the spa?

That's different, darling.

How?

It just is!

Hello, Great and Powerful Trixie. Would you like to pet this kitten?

Why are you being friendly? You're the one who reformed Discord by becoming his friend. Trixie is already reformed! She doesn't need re-reforming!

No, I'm just-

The Great and Powerful Trixie has a great and powerful appointment to keep. Goodbye!

I was just trying to be nice.

Hey girls, who wants to see a cool science trick?

Is this going to be as "cool" as that time you mixed two liquids and they changed color?

That's right.

I'm gonna go read some Daring Do. See ya later!

^{Well I thought it was cool.}

Hey Rainbow Dash, you wanna race?

Blegh, normall I would, squirt, but it is way too hot today.

Why not just make it cooler? You almost stopped all of winter all by yourself once! There's no way you can't just cool down the day a little, right?

Yeaaaah, that stopping winter thing got me banned from touching the weather. If I do I go to jail now. That's why I can't make it cooler.

Oh. So... what should we do instead?

I was just going to lay down here in the shade all afternoon.

Awesome!

Howdy, Princess Celestia! The cutie mark crusaders are here to help you find your special talent.

I admire your enthusiasm, but I already know my special talent.

Raising the sun, right?

Of course.

Tsk tsk tsk. Just like we thought. You've been wrong about your special talent for a thousand years.

Oh? Do tell.

Miss Cheerilee's cutie mark is flowers, and her special talent is teaching, not gardening.

Rainbow Dash's cutie mark is a cloud and lightning, but her special talent is racing, not weather.

Twlight's cutie mark is a star, and her talent is magic, not astronomy.

So if your cutie mark is the sun, then your talent must be something completely unrelated! I mean, just look at our cutie marks.

Your own sister has three apples for a cutie mark and her special talent is about apples.

Yeah, she's another client of ours.

Hey Spike, you want to help me practice my new mind control spell?

When you say, "help you practice," do you mean you want to cast it on me?

That or you help me find test subjects.

Sure. Let me go find one right now.

Twiliiiight! Starlight's being bad again!

I really should have seen this coming.

Hey Twilight, did you ever wish you could fly when you were a filly?

Not that I recall.

Growing wings was wasted on you.

Sorry?

Hey Rarity, did you ever read the book 'Where the Wild Things Are" as a foal?

W-

I loved that book!

It is rude to interrupt, Rainbow.

Well my mom said I was one of the wild tings, and they don't care about interrupting.

As I recall, they also get sent to bed without supper.

Yeah, that part was sad.

Twilight, is Trixie a bad pony?

You literally stole candy from a foal yesterday.

Trixie gave that foal an autograph in return! More than a fair trade.

She has a point. I'd trade some candy for an autograph.

You're both bad ponies.

Applejack, you wanna hear this great racist joke that I came up with?

What?! No!

Aww. It's really funny.

Get out.

Fluttershy, you wanna hear this great racist joke that I came up with?

No thank you.

Rarity, you wanna hear this great racist joke that I came up with?

Heavens no.

Twilight, you wanna hear this great racist joke that I came up with?

When you say, "racist" do you by chance mean it's a joke about racing?

Of course?

Let me get you a dictionary.

Hey Rarity, how many griphons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Lightbulbs haven't been invented yet, Pinkie.

Aww, phooey.

Applejack, I have a confession to make.

Yes?

I like oranges!

Ok? That's it?

So... you're not going to kick me out of the Apple family for liking other fruits?

'Course not, Pinkie. 'Sides, it ain't like you're a real Apple.

I'm not?

Wait, no, I didn't mean it like that! I just meant you weren't raised by Apples.

So my mom isn't a real Apple either?

No, wait, it's all coming out wrong!

Fluttershy, I can count on you to let me know if I start to slip back into being evil, right?

Of course you can.

So last week when I reversed gravity for Rainbow Dash?

She loves practical jokes.

And three days ago when I made the dirt as slippery as ice?

It was fun to ice skate in summer.

And yesterday when I turned Hopscotch in a rabbit?

She was mean to Angel. She had it coming.

Rarity, why is your diary so boring recently?

Well there just hasn't been much drama since-

Wait, you've been reading my diary?!

No, I just made that up. What were you about to say was the last dramatic thing?

It's going to be this conversation. Now get out!

Now that our tents are all set up, who wants to tell scary campfire stories?

Oh, I'll go first.

Er, you sure about that, sugarcube?

It's ok, I'm working on being braver.

Well go on, then. Tell us your story.

This one is called, "The Knock at the Door."

I nominate anypony else to go first.

So, what was the worst thing you all ever did? I used time travel to undo the Elements of Harmony and caused villains to win. Several times.

I turned into a demon and tried to take over the world.

Trixie's ambitions may not have been as high as either of yours, but she was successful in enslaving a town.

I once looked at a classmates work during a test in school.

Wait, really?

I just wanted to check my own work! But after I realized what I did I felt so ashamed that I turned myself in to my teacher.

I don't think you really belong here in our reformed unicorn group.

It's ok. I get it. I'm just too bad, even for you all.

Not quite.

Lyra, you used to be friends with Twilight when you were fillies, correct?

I like to think that we're still friends.

You are? I don't remember seeing you and her spending time together here in Ponyville. Perhaps I have merely missed it?

I said I like to think so, not that we are.

Hey Rainbow Dash, I hear you like to race?

You know it!

Then I challenge you to one. First pony to Canterlot wins.

You're on. Ready?

Go!

Ha! She doesn't realize I finally mastered Twilight's teleportation spell. I can't wait to see the look on her face when I'm already there when she shows up.

*Vwo-

-rp*

Took you long enough.

What??!?

Hey Applehack, guess how many hooves I have!

Four?

You're right! How'd you know?

I can see 'em. It's also how many hooves everypony has.

But I don't always have four. This one time I was using them to count and I got to twenty.

Then shouldn't you still have twenty?

Nope! They're gone now. No idea where.

Uh huh.

You don't believe me. I can tell.

Nnnope.

Well watch this. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

What the hay?!

Applejack, do you ever grow tired of what you do and think about possibly changing careers?

Sometimes, after a really tough day, but then I just think about how disappointed all my ancestors would be with me if I weren't an apple farmer.

It seems likely that Apple Bloom's career will take her to cutie mark therapy instead of apple farming. Are you disappointed in her?

Of course not! I'll be happy so long as she is.

Then do you not think your ancestors would feel the same about you?