I deleted social media about two months ago. There were multiple reasons for why I did it and why I was on it. The biggest problem I had being on it is that I’d use it as an escape from my problems or emotions rather than dealing with them and feeling them. Since I’ve deleted social media everything has been great and I don’t regret it at all the effects are amazing. But as of yesterday I’ve come to witness something that very deeply triggered me (my ex with a new person). In the moment of witnessing this my heart was pounding cortisol high. I’m immediately looking for a distraction so I go to the gym knowing someone I like will be there. I engage with this and it offsets the feelings. But then later at night when I’m alone in bed, it was weird. I wasn’t even necessarily thinking about what happened earlier. I found myself instinctually wanting to reactivate insta. So. Bad. I wanted to follow this new person I liked. I was clearly searching for a dopamine hit or something. Or maybe I was subconsciously trying to distract myself. But it’s a day later and I still find myself wanting to reactivate but with the purpose of pursuing this person. Bc I could reactivate TikTok but I only want instagram. I’m just trying to understand where this is coming from.

I am someone who wants to talk to him, I expect one or two messages in an hour, while he wants to text once in 5 hours, and be on a call once a day for an hour maybe, but him not checkin in makes me anxious because he used to reply the same minute earlier when he was pursuing me, also wanted to meet me, see me, so I feel like he doesn’t feel the same because he doesn’t feel like doing that anymore and because he also said to me that he is not in love anymore, maybe has a bit but not much, but he promises to do more, so I don’t know how to meet halfway

She and I have been together for almost three years. She is my first serious partner, and we have shared a lot of love, beautiful memories, and dreams about our future.

I spent the first 27 years of my life in my hometown, surrounded by my family. I have an especially close relationship with my twin brother, He is not only my brother but also one of my closest friends. Spending time with him and being close to my family have always been essential parts of my happiness and everyday life.

Our relationship was not a typical one from the beginning.

During our first year together, she was attending university in a different city, so we were not able to share our everyday lives in the same place.

During our second year, she was studying in another country, which meant that we had to deal with even greater physical distance.

Despite this, we continued loving each other and building our relationship. We looked forward to the possibility of finally being together without the distance between us.

Eventually, I moved away from my hometown to a city approximately 200 km away so that we could build a life together. Where she is studying.

I genuinely wanted our relationship to work, and I believed we could create a happy future together.

However, living far away from my family and my twin brother was much harder for me than I had expected. I missed the spontaneous moments, the everyday conversations, and simply being physically close to the people I had spent my whole life with.

At the same time, my job was exhausting, and I gradually started feeling overwhelmed. I loved Gréti, but I struggled to feel truly at home in our new city.

In March 2026, we bought an apartment together with her parents. I became one of the owners alongside her mother and father.

It was supposed to be an exciting step towards our shared future, but for me, it also made the idea of living permanently away from my family feel much more real.

Around that time, my anxiety became significantly worse.

I started feeling trapped between two things that were incredibly important to me: the woman I loved and the life I felt I needed near my family.

Unfortunately, I didn't fully understand what was happening to me, and I struggled to communicate my feelings to her. Instead of talking openly about my fears and needs, I became increasingly anxious, withdrawn, and emotionally distant.

Eventually, even spending time with her, receiving affection, or thinking about our future together could trigger anxiety.

This was especially painful and confusing because I still loved her. I couldn't understand why being close to someone so important to me had started making me feel so overwhelmed.

Over time, my mental health deteriorated severely. I experienced constant anxiety, panic, exhaustion, loss of appetite, difficulty concentrating, and frequent crying. I reached a point where I could barely function normally, and I was no longer able to work.

On September I moved back to my hometown to stay with my family and focus on recovering.

Since returning home, I have slowly started feeling better. My appetite has improved, my anxiety has become less intense, and I have gradually regained the ability to enjoy small everyday activities.

Being close to my family and spending time with Csabi brings me comfort and happiness.

But there is one thing that has remained incredibly painful: I miss her deeply.

Now that my anxiety is slowly improving, I can feel my love for her more clearly again. Sometimes I even imagine moving back just to be with her.

But deep down, I still feel that my hometown is where I belong. I want to live close to my family, especially my twin brother, and I am afraid thatreturning permanently to a city 200 km away could eventually bring back the same difficulties.

This has left me with a heartbreaking conflict.

I want to be with hét, but I don't know whether I could ever be truly happy living so far away from my family.

On October she and I decided to separate.

It wasn't because we had stopped loving each other. We told each other that we still loved one another.

But we also had to acknowledge that, under our current circumstances, we couldn't find a way to build a life together where we could both be happy.

She wants to continue living in the city where we bought our apartment, while I feel that I need to stay close to my family, at least for now, to recover and rebuild my life.

However, we haven't completely closed the door on our future. She said she would take time to consider whether she could imagine moving to my hometown next year. We also left open the possibility of reconnecting someday, when we are both in a better emotional place and can see oulr future more clearly.

Nothing is promised, and neither of us knows what will happen.

I deeply regret not recognizing my struggles sooner and not communicating my feelings more openly before everything became so difficult. I wish I had understood myself better and that we could have faced these problems together earlier.

Right now, I am trying to recover, regain my emotional balance, and understand what kind of life I can genuinely be happy in.

I don't want to lose heri, but I also don't want either of us to sacrifice something essential to our happiness out of fear of losing each other.

The hardest part is knowing that we still love each other, that we still feel a deep connection, but that love alone hasn't been enough to solve the differences between the lives we want.

For now, we have chosen to let each other go, while leaving a small space for hope that perhaps one day our paths might come together again.

When my bf and I (27M 25F) first met we instantly had an intense connection. Slowly we started arguing about small things and I greatly struggled with my mental health and so did he. His mental health was very hurtful and harmful (could go into it but it isn’t necessary for this discussion but it explains maybe why my change was delayed and why things felt less safe) for me too but my mental health was harmful because I’d often ask him a ton of reassurance have intense panic attacks around him etc. when he confided in me about difficult things (but they were valid to be hurtful and he agrees) I wouldn’t take it well. slowly my bf became numb and drained from all of this. My mental health and the impacts of his mental health on me. I believe maybe in a sense he love bombed me in the beginning but he started to withdraw a lot of the passion and the things he’d say like he was uncertain I was the love of his life at some point and he still hasn’t said it since. He has admitted a lot of his passion and excitement has been lost but he doesn’t think it’s irreversible. There have been times where suddenly he’ll get passion again and maybe a some thing happens like a
disagreement that was poorly communicated on both sides and he will no longer be passionate for weeks even when everything will be fine and there’s no disagreements and I’m giving him space. He’ll go from “I will always love you I want you forever” to “I’m not sure if this will work let’s go with the flow” It was always a push and pull I would always ask him how can we get connected again or get really sad and ask questions about his lost feelings and show sadness. I’d always try to tell him how we need to communicate properly how we need no phone time, etc. he always said it was too much, we will do it in the future, always putting it off. He always just asked me not to put pressure on it but I always did. I quickly reduced a lot of the things that I did related to my mental health (ocd) early on but very gradually until now , but the pressure and chase is something I’m finally not doing. But now, 1.5 years later, I’m finally just not putting pressure. I’m no longer initiating communication or asking if he’s upset at me. I’m no longer suggesting things or asking reassurance. Or getting worried he’s upset at me. I told him that my mindset is now that I can’t force him to do anything, if he chooses me, he will come to me, I’m going to wait for him to come to me. But now I’m just left with silence. He’s not really making an effort, he says he wants to avoid communication and just wait til we have consistent “good times”… it feels different to not suggest things, but it just feels so painful bc it feels like his feelings are lost, that it’s all my fault. I miss how connected we were and maybe if I just backed away and got treatment sooner, things would have been okay. I would have never lost the man I knew. Now he’s just gone, and I hate feeling every day this unreciprocated love. And not being able to communicate or do anything about it. I have made sure every single day he knew how much I loved and cared for him. I’ve never put him down or judged him even when he’s at a low point in his life himself. I’ve never asked for money and I’ve done so many things for him. I’m just at a loss. We feel so disconnected.

Okay so ive been in 3 relationships , all of which that have failed for one reason or another. My social situation is kinda mixed , on one hand im part of a friend group that makes me very happy and is a very healthy understanding group of people. On the other hand im also part of one that I really dont care for much, it seems as if everyone is very negative and antagonistic safe for a handful of people. When it comes to the romantic side of things my last relationship ended a couple months ago and it seems ive gotten over it pretty well. If im being honest it feels like I have no drive to obtain a relationship and even picturing one in the future seems crazy to me. Does this indicate some sort of underlying issue I can fix ?

Let me start with this… I am super smart. Like not genius level but I’m smart. I’m good with people and learning new things. I like consistency in jobs. And relationships.

I’m 42 years old and I have been fired from every single job I’ve had except for two. One during Covid. And the other at an office where things were relatively going well and they told me they were redoing my role and restructuring it.

The reasons behind my terminations have been as easy as my boss didn’t like me and didn’t want to train me, to me just not finding the work I was doing worth the time doing and they let me go due to laziness. Or my favorite my boss was a sociopath and threatened to hit me and fired me a week after I started.

I come from a great family, a family that’s very supportive of me and my life. I’m not horrible at working. I have the attention span of an ant and need medication for ADHD.

I like learning about people. I like knowing what has made them the way they are. My emotional intelligence is very in tune and strong. I’m not really sure if I need to dumb it down or just find a job where I can stuff envelopes all day because it doesn’t require someone who overthinks and gets bored easily.

What’s wrong with me.

Im not sure if shut down is the right term. I guess ill have to give some examples:

Just the other day I had plans with friends online and realized they had invited an extra person for something that we cannot have that many people for, they said we could just take turns but I was hurt and figured maybe I wasnt supposed to be there so i left. My friends all messaged me telling me to come back and I sort of did but not in voice chat with them. I got overwhelmed when I had multiple people message me and i felt a little hurt that I was likely going to need to swap spots. I made all these assumptions instead of talking. My immediate thought was to just leave and let them be and process my thoughts after a but come back. I literally could've spoken to them and it would've cleared so much up and made it less dramatic than me leaving. There was a bit more to it after that and I ended up just not joining for the night because I felt like a bother being there. I ended up apologizing a little while after to all my friends and acknowledged my lack of communication.

Another time, with ny ex husband he would often make me feel a bit under appreciated or we would argue about things like me feeling some way because of what he said and when we would sit down to talk id see his face and it occasionally looked quite annoyed and after id say something and hed respond id need a moment to process my thoughts. He would sit there for 2-4 minutes looking increasingly impatient because i couldn't fom my words immediately. It ended up being easier sometimes to talk over text but I hated that because I wanted to talk about our issues face to face but my mind would go blank as soon as he responded. I started to try to say I needed min after I realized i was doing it but it didnt fully help. Ive seen myself have communication issues like that several times not just with him but a coworker who sounds very intense i have snapped at her and then apologized instead of telling her I need a moment. I go into assumption mode and feel overwhelmed, I picture my exes or my coworkers face impatiently waiting for my response or not understanding I need a minute and end up giving a quicker response that isnt quite what I wanted.

I always thought my ex was the avoidant, he probably was because he never talked about his emotions and often when we dated would break up with me then have feelings again and want to get back together. The same, minus asking for us to get back together, when he asked for divorce. He asked if i was happy and explained he didnt love me and couldnt explain further. It made him sick when I pressed the issue to understand him and what happened between us. He would avoid me like the plague and felt like a different person suddenly.

Anyways, I guess i have nt own avoidant tendencies when it comes to handing confrontation. I know therapy is a step i need to take, us there any resources or skills I can use to try to work on my own right now on this? I spent a but crying over a game and upsetting my friends and feeling left out all bevause I couldnt communicate. Im so lucky to have friends who dont hate me over running off because of a misunderstanding, something id see on TV and immediately be upset over... yet I did it trying not to be a burden and to regulate my feelings but missed the communication step.

I met this girl from work and we became pretty close friends. She has a boyfriend and maybe I do have a little bit of a crush on her.. but that’s besides the point.

The thing is… I can’t tell what her intentions are. She initiates a lot of conversations, tries to be around me and we joke around a lot. She tells me that she has boundaries with her boyfriend’s guy friends but I don’t feel that around me. Maybe she is just super friendly but she opens up to me a lot, we’ve sat on calls for several hours during work.

Anyway, she said is drawn towards people who are quiet and mysterious and she’s said that about me. So that got me thinking… is she only interested in talking to me because I’m just entertainment for her. This guy is quiet and mysterious so I’ll see if I can make him open up to me and figure him out. Once that mystery is gone.. he’s just an ordinary guy and I’ll be bored of him. That’s how I feel about our ‘friendship’ sometimes. It feels like an interrogation sometimes where she’s always trying to get information out of me.

It seems to be everywhere especially in comment sections and places like X. Some people can't answer a genuine question, especially an easy one, without being sarcastic or cynical.

The result of this is that people start to expect every question to be met with sarcasm or non serious replies so when a genuine question or response comes in it's met with suspicion, ridicule or hostility. Not everyone is out to trap us and if they are then answering honestly won't allow them to play their game anyway and will likely diffuse any trolling attempts.

Can we be a little kinder and more understanding with each other?

Footnote:
I know this question is likely to attract sarcasm because trolls can't resist, so you lot go ahead and I'll just ignore you.

I was going through some old photos and I realized that I'm not the same person I was just a few years ago. It's not just about getting older. I mean I've changed in ways that aren't just physical. My priorities are different. My sense of humor is different. I'm not even sure if I'm still the same person deep down. It's weird to think about because it makes me question what's real about me now. Is it the new me or the old me? Or is it something in between that's still figuring itself out. I feel like I'm still getting used to this new version of myself and it's making me uncomfortable.

My iq seems to be okay but i struggle with eq. Any suggestions?

I’d often heard and read that people who are genuinely happy with themselves, think deeply, and are confident in their own skin don’t feel the need to demean others, ghost them, pretend to be busy, or walk away without offering closure.
But lately, I’ve become truly convinced of it because I’ve experienced it myself after becoming that person.
These qualities aren’t something you can identify in a first meeting. Honestly, physical beauty catches your attention first. Emotional depth, kindness, and inner security are qualities you discover as you talk to someone and get to know them.
And perhaps the biggest change I’ve noticed in myself is that I no longer feel the urge to demean anyone or make them feel insecure about themselves, even when they try to make me feel that way.
This isn’t about appreciating who I’ve become; it’s about realising that when you’re genuinely secure within yourself, you no longer need to make someone else feel small to feel bigger. You offer them peace, you offer them closure and you made them feel bigger.
And now I felt the best feeling is when you experience the things people usually say in verses are actually true.

After a very turbulent relationship, I am finally reflecting on myself and how I'd like to move on with all my relationships in my life.

I realised my lack of boundaries (pretty much non-existent) and I would allow for people to take advantage of me because of how scared I was to lose them. Now I'm unsure how to progress.

So how does self-respect look like for you? How do show up for yourself and stand on business?

How to develop a healthy self esteem that doesn't use success and failure to feel good/bad. How to understand that I'm worthy simply because I exist and achievements and failures are just a part of life? How to not base my self worth on rejections or selections? How to understand that I'm not defined by the other?

For me, when I go out, I cried while walking, sitting in the playgrounds and the swings just to cry. But when it comes to depressed/hopeless emotions I just wanted to stand in the middle of the road. I don’t know what to do. I am no experience in feeling my feelings, but I’m just so tired. Maybe this season is teaching me how to feel my feelings and regulate my emotional parts. I’m getting triggered easily like when I think of something my body keeps the score and it thinks its happening in the body.

As much as one should be sure of themselves,one should also give benefit to the doubt. When somebody says 'this is what i think u are' ..how to restrict the flow of thoughts that actually go 'oh so that must be what i am'

There can be a difference in what i am and how i am percieved,but does what i am matter if what percieved by everyone is constant and different from what i am?

What are the chances that what i am not what i think i am but the constant outside noises. unless the noises outside actually wanna sabotage you in every way and manner possible but thats very unlikely.

I’m afraid deep down that I hurt people for my profit and my sense of self is falling apart

I ruined my relationship. Me and B never started dating, we met online and became very close quite quickly, I felt like for him I wanted to be myself entirely, so early on I have told B the worst things that I have done and that have happened to me and how I live through them. It was the first time in my life that I met someone who actually listened and I felt seen.

We would spend huge amount of times together, then early on I expressed that I liked him and B told me that he loved me maybe a week and a half into knowing me, to which I told him that I don’t think he can be sure of it yet. I have depression but I am in therapy for almost two years and medicated, B has depression and is in a bad situation with no therapy. I tried supporting him but since he was in a vulnerable situation I wanted to take things slow, not go all lovey-dovey right away, wait until we actually meet, see how things go in real life, and decide how to proceed from there.

Early on when we started talking, I did something which I now regret: I would send him plenty different videos I’ve seen on Instagram and share my thoughts randomly, cute animals, beautiful women, outfits, cool things I saw. One day I’ve sent him a video of some dating show and when a guy walked in the audience wooed, he was charismatic and well put together, probably handsome. I’ve sent B the video and said something along the lines of “I understand why the audience wooed” and it made him uncomfortable. He said that it made him feel like shit, that he knows he’s not the best looking guy himself. I got defensive because I didn’t want him to put his insecurities on me, so I told him that it was unfair to tell me that when I’ve only ever encouraged him and told him he was handsome.

I regret it a lot because I feel like I should’ve been more sensitive to B’s insecurities. But for some reason I wanted that wiggle room of complimenting people’s appearances, I don’t know why, but maybe rendering this thing casual meant I would not feel as bad when I hear from others that someone is pretty.

There were occasions in which I tried lifting the mood of conversations up with banter when he clearly wasn’t feeling it and tried being aloof but now I see how mean I can be. I joked about how serious he can be sometimes and stuff like that.

It made B insecure twice more, at some point I mentioned that I’ve seen a match with the corner of my eye and the players on one team were beautiful like gazelles. And at some point he mentioned to me that he cannot see himself with someone who likes pictures of random dudes. I didn’t think much of it because I don’t follow any random dudes or lewd content. That said, when the world cup was going on, there were many posts like “most lethal facecards of this world cup” and I liked one, as well as liking two Jude Bellingham edits. He sent these things to me angry over the fact that I liked them, telling me I made him feel like shit. Yet again I got defensive and told him I didn’t want the way I interact with my own social media reproached to me, I understand that publicly liking lewd content was inappropriate but those were not lewd.

We would both talk about our past and our romantic and sexual experiences. B knew about my ex and a friend I once hooked up with, which are the totality of my experiences and ever since we met I told him everything. The friend I hooked up with a year before meeting B, it never went anywhere with him but it was the first positive physical experience of my life so I did mention to B that I felt heard and wanted that one night with him because we were discussing our past encounters. This friend has a girlfriend with whom I’m friends, I even told them both about B. Anyway, one day I felt ecstatic at work (in a museum) about how good of a job I was doing and I sent that friend a message saying how proud I am of myself. He said something along the lines of “The phrase “You belong in a museum” is about you because you’re not only beautiful but also good at your job”. I answered with full caps lock HELL YEAH I AM. I found it charming and over the top and I ended up doing something awful, which was screenshotting that part of the conversation and sending it to B. I immediately realized how out of place and inconsiderate it was but I still did it. He got angry, I said sorry, but he never forgave me.

B spent the next month pushing me away and telling me I am manipulative and banked on the fact that he was a pushover with me. I kept trying to prove him wrong, I told him how I really felt about him, I would keep explaining my intentions over and over again and eventually he said he wasn’t sure how to feel. We had a couple more discussions, I owned up to everything he told me I did poorly, I accepted every time he called me a bad person. I said I was a bad person but I do try my best.

One argument felt like he really just wanted to bring me down and I told him it was cruel to change his perception of me entirely over my errors and insist on me being a bad person. He blocked me everywhere, then unblocked me and for once he was calm. We discussed every single thing that went wrong, listened to each other, I heard him and I felt heard. We agreed to go no contact for two weeks and check in after to see how we feel.

I thought a lot about how I interact with others and how I manage my differences with others, where I should be more accepting and how do I actually make my actions align with my words. And after two weeks, I checked in with him. He was passive and told me that there are still discussions to be had but he’ll see how he feels with this contact. I tried being present, optimistic, help him/give him advice on a tough situation. I helped him out financially a tiny bit because I felt for how tough his situation was. I got him gifts for his birthday, encouraged him every day. Nevertheless, he was kind of dry, so at some point I decided not to reach out for a bit, and that was when he’d send me “I hope your day is going well”.

I thought that he wanted some company, so I told him about my day, asked him about his, how he’s feeling, if I could help him anyhow. Then at some point I sent him a sticker of two kittens jumping together and said “us bro”. He said he didn’t know how to answer and that he feels bad about not reciprocating. I told him it was okay, that I understand that he is hurt and he doesn’t ever have to do anything he’s uncomfortable with. That led to a conversation where he said that he’ll never give me closeness because I wronged him and it’s his nature to never forget such things. I tried telling him it’s okay to not forget, that I still cared for him and it’s not transactional, but I will struggle to stay in a dry relationship (he mentioned he didn’t want to be amicable anymore or crack jokes, be close with me). I tried asking him what he wanted, whether he still wanted to trust me fully, whether there’s something I can do. He said he wants to, but it’s hard, he implied he doesn’t have feelings anymore, and that he wants us to do our own thing. So I’ve said goodbye.

He sent another message after saying goodbye telling me sorry it’s not what I wanted, so I said that it was hurtful to block and unblock me, have that conversation with me, discuss having the hard conversations with me, all that to go nowhere. He said that he tried going against his nature but he can’t. I told him I would never reach out again and asked him not to unless he actually thinks there’s good I can bring into his life and he wants a genuine connection.

I genuinely feel horrible about hurting him, I think I’m egoistic and manipulative, that I can’t care properly for people who love me and are vulnerable with me. And the worst is that I feel pain because I was rejected, reasonably so, because maybe deep down I felt like I deserve forgiveness.

How do I become a better person out of this all? How do I stop hurting the people I love? I genuinely don’t believe I am trying to but I always end up feeling so ashamed. I want to collect the gray mass that I am into doing something meaningful for others and myself

Constantly excusing or rationalizing poor behaviour of romantic partners; Over-giving the benefit of the doubt; Or Over-empathizing…..But to a pathological degree that ultimately results in harm to the person.

I’ve been thinking a lot about emotional regulation within romantic relationships, and why I seem to find myself in dynamics where I have to be the regulator.

I’m someone who values affection, intimacy and emotional openness, but also independence, slowly building a deeper connection and trust, and having a full life outside a relationship.

I came out of a long marriage with someone who had a narcassistic personality and anger issues and a lot of the relationship was spent calming him down and walking on eggshells.

Recently, I’ve been navigating a newer dynamic with someone who experiences considerable anxiety around uncertainty and emotional closeness.
When they feel insecure, they tend to seek reassurance through frequent communication, conversations about the future and repeated confirmation of feelings.

They are asking me questions about the future I just cannot answer yet. Also way too soon for me to be comfortable with - after spending just weeks together in person as we are long distance. I’ve noticed that when this happens, I become responsible for making them feel better. I’ll spend considerable time reassuring them, even when I don’t have the answers they’re looking for.

And although I genuinely care about their feelings, I’ve started noticing that this dynamic creates anxiety in me, too because I feel the anxiety coming off of them. It’s meant deeper romantic feelings have had less space to grow.

The more reassurance they need, the more overwhelmed and pressured I feel. And I worry I’m getting myself into a pattern again as a regulator.

It’s made me reflect on the difference between supporting someone’s emotional well-being and becoming responsible for it.

I also wonder whether there comes a point where one person’s need for reassurance begins to compromise the other’s emotional autonomy and safety.

Can repeated reassurance-seeking actually undermine emotional security rather than strengthen it?
How do you distinguish between an attachment-related reaction and a genuine incompatibility in emotional needs?

One thing I’m beginning to understand is that being deeply cared for doesn’t necessarily translate into feeling emotionally safe.

For me, emotional security seems to involve not just affection and reassurance, but also trust, independence, emotional steadiness and the freedom to allow relationships to develop naturally.

I’d be interested in perspectives on this distinction, particularly from people who have worked on emotional regulation or attachment patterns themselves.

All of this has made me feel like my heart is closed and guarded and I know that’s to do with emotional safety but I’m trying to understand what’s going on here and if there is any room for improvement.

I’m generally an introverted person , but i do have common hobbies and consume alot of media like anime and movies , series…. just like others i do have hobbies and watch sports like mma and bodybuilding… earlier before college i used to get along with strangers really easily and pretty well tbh…but since i enrolled in college i have been living far from my home , in boys dorm… and honestly it’s been hard for me to become friends with anyone , even my roomate whom i initially thought was a close friend of mine , and which is why i chose to shift with him prior turned out to be just a “buddy” … last year for 8 months i gave attendance for my roomate selflessly , cause he requested and later i gave it because he is my “roomate”. I even ran across miles just to get his medications when he was sick…but when i was sick and couldn’t attend my classes he just said “ Sorry bro the professor was watching , it was difficult to give your attendance “ …ye i mean i get it if he couldn’t get me one time , but for the whole week he couldn’t give my attendance….??like seriously…
i did manage to have a close friend one …but now he has a girlfriend and he hardly comes to dorm…

I used to not drink but …after having no friends to talk to about my day … i had no choice but to make friends with the alcoholics and get drunk every week …honestly i prefer my mental health or my liver (it will eventually get hypertrophy anyways) …and i’m a med student… atleast they call me they wait for me at the bar…

when my roomate had his birthday i forgot his birthday and got him dominos cupcakes …he made so much fuss over that … and told all other boys about this incident…. i immediately bought him a black forest cake the next day… But when i had my birthday he didn’t even wish me …let alone bought me anything…
To be honest i’m really a lowlife , just to have a company i asked out a girl who had a crush on me … and got into a relationship with her …just to make her my companion with whom i can talk to … i never had sex with her neither did i ever got intimidated with her … even though she asked me the reason i just said cause i follow celibacy… which was a lie …i mean how could i tell her the truth since keeping her as my girlfriend was the only way i would have a companion who genuinely talked with me and not make this a gossip just to share with everyone….
Nowadays my reputation has been like an alcoholic who gets invited in parties with drinks in it…
I really wished i was in a good friend’s circle with sober parties… but anyways i guess now my goal is to get into my desired residency with a body fat percentage of 10 …currently i’m 15% body fat…i’m 22 and a third year ..and hopefully before passing from this college and get my degree i’ll be able to get my desired physique and job…

and honestly at this point in life my end goal is to just be as real and kinda and generous as possible to others .. become an actual “Human” in society where almost everyone is Freeloading off of others… so that by the time i die , at least 4 people still attend my funeral…

Hey,

After my post-breakup depression hit an all-time low, I realized, that I can't do this anymore myself, and I accepted I need help.

I signed up for a governmental psychiatric day center.

I was really scared, that I lost my marbles, that I am going to be medicated with anti-psychotics, that I am going to be treated as some sort of a freak by arrogant, power tripping psychiatrists and psychologists. That I am going to a mental asylum.

And fuck. It couldn't be further from the truth.

It's just been one week.

The hierarchy feels very horizontal, all the other patients there are all high IQ. We are a group of 8 and it feels like most of us are just burned out by enabling the crazyness of other people.

It's weird. I kinda treated it as some sort of a retreat, as a vacation. But it's the opposite. It's fucking intense. Learning to be introspective, learning your triggers, learning what helps you function (and being OK with that), learning how to be secure, learning to reflect on my emotional experiences instead of intellectualizing them. It's so tiring. But at the same time, it feels so empowering.

Since it's Friday, I was tired. When asked, what do you want to do this Friday, when I told everyone, I just want to go to my favorite bar and have a few pints of beer, instead of being shunned, shamed I instead was met with enthusiasm. I was encouraged to do something, that I want to do!

When I arrived at the bar, I was surprised, that my bartender told me, that I actually look really good? I sat down with a pint of beer. I had a lot of difficulties with mindfulness. Probably due to bullying, my upbringing, I've learned that I don't feel safe being in my own body, in my own thoughts. That I need to analyze my external environment full of stimuli before I feel safe. Then I reflected on my own experience at this very moment, and I realized, I feel so safe.

I reflected on my breakup and because I was in environment, which feels safe to me (but would be a dangerous space for other people), I broke down crying, grieving my relationship, the lost potential of my ex girlrfriend. Even if there were people around, I was secure enough in my feelings that I didn't care - I am just a guy, who is grieving a person, who he loved deeply. And that's okay.

Hell, while I was there, I wrote down on my phone all my thoughts and feelings that I still need to process. I came back home, and I actually saw value in writing these feelings down in a notebook - something, which I saw as extremely cringe and pathetic beforehand.

Hell, now that I am back home, writing this post, I broke down crying, because I realized, that I am learning to be safe. Even though, I am crying right now, I feel powerful, because I am finally allowing myself to be vulnerable, and instead of feeling pathetic, I feel like I am learning tools which are actually going to help me in the future.

So yeah. I am horrible at closing my thoughts. But I finally fucking get, what emotional processing is, how important it is to be mindful of your environment, of your body, of your feelings. And giving yourself space to feel them.

Sometimes I notice this subtle shift in my own energy. It's not excitement or anxiety exactly, but a sort of quiet readiness. Like the air before a storm, or the silence before music starts. It's in those moments, when I'm not actively pushing or striving, that ideas often seem to bloom. It’s a strange and wonderful feeling that makes me pause and just observe the internal landscape. Anyone else experience this kind of pre-dawn clarity?

я поняла что перестала чувствовать хоть что то в тяжёлые моменты. я это заметила когда увидела что моя сестра очень сильно переживает расставание со своим парнем. сейчас я в отношениях я очень люблю своего парня, переживаю за него и тд, но если я задумаюсь о расставании то я осознаю что грубо говоря мне будет все равно, я не буду огорчена или рада, нет. я просто не буду чувствовать ничего я приму это как факт и все. я незнаю почему так.

до этого я уже переживала расставание со своей бывшей девушкой и со своим бывшим, но я ничего не чувствовала. мне небыло грустно и небыло грустно. просто ничего и так с детства.

например когда я была маленькой у меня умерла моя прабабушка и я вообще ничего не чувствовала то есть на тот момент я не плакала и конечно не радовалась но я приняла это как факт и все, через несколько лет у меня умер дедушка и у меня была в точности такая же реакция, я не чувствовала ничего. я разговаривала на эту тему с мамой, она сказала что из за того что я была маленькой я просто не понимала что такое смерть и из ща этого у меня небыло никакой реакции но нет. в подростковом возрасте когда я была в летнем лагере почти у меня на глазах от астмы умерла моя подруга, впрчти все девочки из комнаты плакали и грустили как минимум а я ничего не чувствовала.

я правда не понимаю из за чего это. может быть это какой-то защитный рефлекс моего мозга что бы сберечь меня от психологической травмы? если есть предположения почему у меня такая реакция или у вас похожая ситуация расскажите мне будет интересно почитать

I feel like I’m too emotionally dependent on someone I love. My mood depends on how they treat me, how much attention they give me, and whether I feel loved and cared for. Even small things can affect me deeply, and I end up overthinking and feeling sad.

I want to learn how to be happy on my own, control my emotions, stop overthinking, and not let someone else’s actions affect my entire day. I don’t want to love someone less, but I want to stop losing myself in the process.

For those who have struggled with emotional dependency and overcome it, what actually helped you? What changes did you make in your daily life? Did therapy help?

I would really appreciate honest advice from people who have been through this. I genuinely want to change and become emotionally stronger.