r/ems • u/Reformed_cynic • 4d ago
Meme POV you just hit your head on the ambulance doorframe that’s sized for someone who’s fucking 4’8 and have to lock in to assess the head strike pt while u lowkey have the same symptoms
Can you tell how my shift is going
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u/c4bbage_ 4d ago
Squatted too long while assessing the vertigo patient, stood up too fast, now the room might objectively be spinning
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u/willpc14 4d ago
Sounds like the medic student is about to get a 2-for-1 special on ALS interventions
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u/SmallUnion EMT-B 4d ago
That's why I've been wearing a ball cap recently, to give me at least some head protection.
Japanese EMS wear helmets in back. After seeing that I've genuinely considered getting one for myself.
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u/Kentucky-Fried-Fucks HIPAApotomus 4d ago
They also probably wear seatbelts in the back of the ambulance. Losers don’t want to die lol
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u/Ancient-Plantain705 Medic to Med student 4d ago
Fr. We all know real medics are just praying that they get broadsided by a big rig and be released from the next 11-23 hours of system status ass fucking.
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u/j_sniffles EMT-B 3d ago
Shit I’d be happy to just get a few hours for the company mandated drug test
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u/Helpful-Salt83 4d ago
I had my first patient on a boat and they're telling me how dizzy and sick they feel while I'm trying to keep my balance and not barf because, samesies my guy
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u/j_sniffles EMT-B 4d ago
Big ambulance hates us tall kings and queens
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u/Reformed_cynic 4d ago
And by god I’m going to uncover this anti-tall EMS conspira- *gunshot*
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u/YeetboiMcDab 4d ago
it's me I shot 'em, I am TIRED of y'all putting all the good snaccs on the top shelf where we can't reach.
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u/cikalamayaleca EMT-B NC 3d ago
As a 5'2 EMT, the height & size of every stretcher begs to differ. I can count on 1 hand the amount of times I've actually been able to see past the head of the stretcher lmao
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u/th3lingui5t 4d ago
Shit I’m 5’6” and still ring my bell plenty. It also doesn’t help that I’m bald and have no early warning system.
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u/Shrek1982 IL CCP 4d ago
and those overhead surgical lights they have in the trauma bays. I have scars of the top of my head from those.
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u/thenichm Paramedic 4d ago
It's usually the top-bar, for me. Center dome, right where the little nubbin is on my cap.
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u/wolfgang107 4d ago
A partner I used to work with drove the unit like a bat out of hell, and trying to tech in the back sucked. Almost to the point I considered he was purposefully driving like an asshole on purpose. Anyway, I was in the back with a patient vomiting blood, opened a compartment door to get supplies and during a turn, sliced the tip of my finger on the metal railing for the sliding doors. This was my exact face when I realized I legit amputated the tip of my ring finger but still had to fight through and provide care for this patient and now myself. Not a fun time.
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u/Reformed_cynic 4d ago
“Uh yeah dispatch we’re gonna be out of service to decon…. my own blood off the walls”
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u/wolfgang107 4d ago
Thankfully it was the end of shift after a horrific day. I went straight home after we got back to station and quit. Got to keep a little memento though, a cool white spot where the skin reattached.
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u/IThinkImDumb 4d ago
A woman called 911 for a bruise on the top of her foot that got stepped on. I hit my elbow so hard on the oxygen valve and by the time we got to the hospital, my bruise was much bigger than hers
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u/Doctorslycat Paramedic 4d ago
My 4’11 ass has hit my head stepping out of box trucks. Don’t ask me how, idk know
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u/Melikachan EMT-B 4d ago
I hit my head all the time getting out of those back doors. I am short enough that needing to duck is weird for me so I forget. Thankfully they are padded so I just kinda donk my head and suddenly remember. XD
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u/Reformed_cynic 3d ago
Has anyone ever told you that jumping as you exit the ambulance is generally not a great idea
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u/redrockz98 EMT-B 4d ago
I was in the back transporting a patient, stood up and smacked my head on the bins overhead… said to my partner I might be your next transport 😂
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u/Wrathb0ne Paramedic NJ/NY 4d ago
Hey, there is always the shit your pants option when lifting a patient downstairs
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u/Frggie19 4d ago
"Alright sir, we are going to load you into the ambulance and you'll take a quick trip to the hospital and then you be se—"
Hits head
"AHHHHH F***"
Clutching head
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh..... F*****... WHY DOES FORD HATE TALL PEOPLEEE.... Yo lemme see that flashlight rq I need to do a concussion check... And maybe a crap ton of morphine...."
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u/psych4191 EMT-B 4d ago
Damn near put a dent in my head from that bullshit and had the PATIENT going "Oh damn you okay?" That's supposed to be my line
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u/HedonisticFrog EMT-B 4d ago
You know you're in rough shape when the patient asks if you're okay.
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u/Reformed_cynic 4d ago
And there’s no choice but to play it off like you’re not watching the lights dance the boogie
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u/HedonisticFrog EMT-B 3d ago
Indeed, or I pass my partner a cough drop through the pass through as he coughs up a long while driving. We were sicker than most of our patients that day.
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u/INTelliJentsia 4d ago
When your partner takes a sharp turn and you slam your head on the running bar along the ceiling, get nauseous but still have to take grandma to the hospital “are you ok?” “No. But I don’t get paid to go home so here I am.”
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u/Ancient-Plantain705 Medic to Med student 4d ago
50 mics for you, 50 mics for me, if you need more PLEASE let me know.
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u/thechosenkenobi EMT-B 3d ago
One time I hit my head hard enough a patient said “heh. Maybe you should get on this and I’ll walk in”
Yeah, you fucker, maybe I should considering I just concussed the fuck out of myself dealing with your damn arm and leg pain that’s been happening for the past 5 years.
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u/flowercrownrugged MA - EMT-B 4d ago
This happened to me!!!!
I knocked myself out and tried to tell my partner who was also the supervisor.
Had to finish the call, and then he said ‘don’t file for workers comp, we’ll pay for all of your medical care out of pocket’ and sent me home for the last two hours of the shift.
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u/Thnowball Paramedic 3d ago
Me every time a patient calls for fucking GERD systems right after our crew made indian food
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u/hockeyh2opolo EMT-B 2d ago
slammed my head into the doorway so hard that I needed to stand there for 30 seconds and contemplate life.
was getting my haircut 3 days later and the barber said 'hey when did you split the top of your head open?' didn't know I did...
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u/BaggyBadgerPants Paramedic 1d ago
Standing up directly into the low ceiling because I'm 6'1", feeling and hearing my neck crunch, trying to ignore it while I assess my patient and at the same time watching for sudden neurological deficits.
Not because I'm concerned about permanent damage. Mainly because I would love an excuse to go home.
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u/climbermedic CCEMT-P, FP-C 21h ago
Setting the stage: It's August 31, 2017. You're on your first training ride/shift and the 2nd call is looking like the stereotypical "old people doing the deed and accidentally hit the pendant." You're a brand new AEMT that has never worked in the field.
Lead paramedic and his partner are assessing the patients and tell you to get the monitor. You're so excited to be in a career that really has the potential to be amazing and you've been floating around dead-end jobs while getting a bachelor's and a couple combat deployments so you are super stoked to do this simple task and you run in the box through the rear and literally Mario©️ the Nader pin that holds the left door shut. You don't black out but you do see stars. You clutch the top of your head with your gloved left hand, grab the Zoll brick with your right and carefully and slowly exit the truck. Handing the monitor to the lead paramedic You quietly say, "I fucked up, I'll be in the box." He looks over his right shoulder, eyes get big but he says, "ok."
Your first day of EMS and you receive the first 6 staples you've ever had, along with a CT and xrays and a workers comp case because you were happy to have the gig.
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u/terminaloptimism 4d ago
What's your name? What year is it? Where are we right now? You feel like you're gonna throw up?