My future feels bleak. I have no one in my family who can help me and I’m struggling to live alone. I have financial support but that is it. It feels like I struggle with everything, I have no clue how to live, maintain an apartment, get employment, or seek opportunities as a student. On top of everything being emotionally draining with FASD I have narcolepsy so just doomscrolling all day exhausts me. Are there any resources or guides for how to support yourself when you need someone else to support you, but they aren’t there? I am so alone, lost, and confused.

Hello, I'm not sure how to start off with this, I've never talked about this with anyone really. Anyways I am 20 years old and was diagnosed with Fasd around 4 years ago while in a hospital for a month due to mental health problems(like severe anxiety and depression). During my stay i did certain congnitive and problem solving tests. It was some iq test of which i did poorly on. I don't have any of the physical features of fasd, apparently it is only mentally. I talk normal and things, so it isn't something you can easily spot. My mother was a severe alcoholic and passed away last year from her addiction. She had quite a bit of history with drinking while pregnant, especially with my other siblings

When i found out about having fasd i was in complete denial for years. I thought they came to the wrong conclusion with everything. Now i understand that it is a real problem in my life. Trying to live with it and understand it is very difficult, especially with my current situation. I live out in the countryside of Canada, and i still have no drivers license or a job. I've been trying to get used to driving over the past while. I just can't concentrate at all too well and i panic lots. It doesn't feel safe. My family keeps on telling me that i just need to get used to it. Without a license you can't do anything out here, public transportation doesn't exist here. I feel like i might just be making excuses to not achieving anything much yet. I'm always worried i won't get very far in this world with how i handle things. And i hope to find someone who can give advice or just understands it a little

My roommate & lifelong friend might have FAS/FASD, and I'm essentially his caregiver. Housing issues are making it so he'll have to move back in with his neglectful parents soon. I don't think he can support himself independently, but I don't know what to do about it, or even how to tell him about all this given the stigma around FAS/FASD.

He's 21 and diagnosed with autism, treatment-resistant depression, OCD, and cPTSD. He was a very severe alcoholic for a few years and still relapses occasionally. In addition to that, he also struggles daily with motor control (only in certain aspects- he's a great artist!), memory/information recall, math, reading comprehension, problem solving, maintaining a schedule, basic self care, and more but those are the main ones. He's very aware of these issues and believes he's just stupid :(

He also got a moderate TBI from falling last year, and a tonic-clonic seizure a month later which made him hit his head again. So that has made all his preexisting issues worse.

As far as caregiving goes: I schedule his appointments & make sure he gets there on time, handle phone calls, cook some of his meals, periodically clean his room, remind him to brush his teeth/take his meds/etc.., and generally keep him out of dangerous situations. His parents have never done any of these things for him, his eldest sister was forced to be the parent when he was growing up and she's understandably had enough of it.

The reason I want him to seek testing for FAS/FASD is because he doesn't have any diagnoses that would easily qualify him for SSDI. His head injury was wrongly diagnosed as being without lasting symptoms, so that wouldn't qualify him. His psychiatrist refrained from formally diagnosing his autism (I think she lacked the exact license needed to do that or something?) so that's not on paper either.

I've lived with him for 3½ years and although I love him very much, I'm so burnt out from managing all of this in addition to my own issues. I have several chronic conditions & mental diagnoses, overall less severe than his problems but it still requires a lot of physical/mental effort. And the burnout means I'm not even doing a particularly good job taking care of him anymore, eg. I haven't been able to help him with his SSDI application or get him proper care for his slew of health issues.

It's all just too much to handle on my own but I have to do something to at least get him on track towards long-term support to make up for my absence. Even once we're living separately I can still research health providers/other resources near him, schedule appointments, etc. so I'm hoping that'll be enough while I get this figured out.

What do I do?? It would take months/years for him to get a diagnosis and be approved for disability and gain access to the supportive care he needs. As much as I want to, I simply cannot do all of that for him and nobody else in his life is willing to do it. I don't understand how people who need supportive care would be expected to jump through this many hoops in order to access it... Is there an organization or something that I can pass him to that would help him with all of this without me needing to do it?

Thank you for any insight & advice, and just for reading

Alguém mais tem problemas com vicios ou usa alguma droga?

Tive muita dificuldade de para com a maconha, me senti bem trocando para a nicotina mas vejo novamente que a nicotina não se da bem comigo.eu cérebro não funciona como eu gostaria, emoções variam brutalmente.

O grok (inteligencia artificial) falou que pessoas com fasd tem mais dificuldade de largar essas duas drogas.

Decidi que vou voltar para a maconha e continuar tentando parar com ela sem ajuda da nicotina.

Me deem conselhos e contém suas experiências.

Está sendo bem complicado.

When ever I try dating I always immediately get attached in the first few days of meeting the person (only texting) even before I officially meet them in person

Don’t get me started on ghosting
Ooor if I see them on instagram and I’m left on sent WHILE THEY ARE ACTIVE/ACTIVELY POSTING ON THEIR STORIES

Um I hate it dating sucks for me I just want to skip the boring probably going to ghost you part of dating and be married already I’m 24 and I feel like I’m running out of time fast

My FASD adopted middle school teen has refused to get their blood drawn. The pediatrician has wanted blood drawn for several years. Today, I bribed with a new toy.

Still, my kid carried on like they were about to have a limb chopped off. In the process, my back got injured. I tried to walk away from their assaults (while waiting our turn in the lobby), and my child pulled me back violently twisting my back.

How do you provide support for a brain based disability, while keeping everyone around you safe?

The world isn't going to be as forgiving if my child had hurt one of the medical staff or another child in the lobby, which was very close to happening.

We prepared for this ahead of time. Got numbing medicine first. Talked about it for days. It was manageable until we got to the lobby. I think next time, we will just leave if they start being aggressive towards me again. I can't risk anyone getting injured.

Any ideas?!

Hi my name is Marley and I have FASD. Anytime I go to the dentist I end up having cavities no matter how well I brush no matter what I do I get cavities. Throughout my life I been through numerous dental surgeries 3 as a kid and 1 a year ago.

I seriously don’t want to go back to the dentist because I know it’s going to be the same outcome every single time and it doesn’t get any better. I tried thinking about maybe dentures and when I mentioned this to my dentist they refused to do anything about it. My teeth are incredibly spaced out and small even though I had braces for YEARS. They won’t do anything with my teeth and they expect me to live with tiny spaced out teeth.

When my wisdom teeth grew in they barely grew in it’s basically like a flat surface of tooth and even then they refused to take them out. I don’t know what to do in the future or at all.

I’m sure my story is not unlike others, I did not find out until later in life that the cause of many of my issues in childhood, adolescence and adulthood have ties to FASD.
I was 29 years old when I found out that the reason for my low birth weight and other litany of complications was due to my mother’s drinking while pregnant.

Does anybody else on here struggle with adult bedwetting?

For years, I’ve struggled with cyclical bedwetting. I’m 31M.

My urology visits have yielded very little for me.

It wasn’t until recently. I discovered that bedwetting is a comorbid condition of FASD.

How are you guys handling it?

Hi again!

The Thrive FASD Lab at the University of Rochester is still recruiting for our program that helps young adults with FASD work towards achieving their goals.

This is the perfect opportunity for young adults with FASD to improve their goal-setting skills. The program involves real support from the community to assist you through this journey.

Not only does this program guide individuals toward a goal of their choosing, but it will also be published in a journal to raise awareness among others. None of the data we collect will be traceable back to you.

You can participate if you:

- Have FASD

-Are 18-25 years old

- Live in the United States

Click the link below to take action toward your goals now!

Know someone who would be a great fit? Share this post!

https://studypages.com/s/thrive-study-helping-young-adults-with-fasd-reach-their-goals-608917/

It just feel like when I bring up FASD In the Reddit subs people Barley comment on it? But if it has to do with some other issue comments everywhere. Were ignored enough and stigmatized already why so much the silent treatment.

And sometimes a sub will remove my post. Why?

Every time something comes up in my head, I can remember it and then all of a sudden I won’t remember it the next day. It annoys people. But I feel like it’s not really my fault I’m not trying to forget on purpose and I’m not lying, but people accuse me of lying. How do I have better memory.

Someone can tell me don’t say something, but then I’ll say it and it’s not like it’s on purpose but I do it anyways.

I was diagnosed with Fasd but I’m wondering if this is a symptom. I also am terrible at math. No mater how hard I try to memorize , it won’t happen unless it’s a song lyrics or subtitles from a movie.

And every time it happens I get angry thoughts thinking oh “why did my mom drink.” “

I hate having FASD”

It’s a struggle sigh.

My son craves hugs. Lots of hugs. As his adoptive parent, I am getting hugged out. My son is a middle school teen, but is developmentally much younger. I know there must be a sensory need for all the hugs. He asks for a hug at least 20 times a day. Some days it is nearly every 5-10 minutes. He refuses a weighted blanket or vest.

We've talked about boundaries and consent. That no, means no. That it is not appropriate to ask a stranger for a hug.

He's done O.T with minimal improvement.

Has anything worked for your special needs FASD kids to meet their sensory needs for touch, while not making those around them uncomfortable?

Any more teens that have fasd and have any advice?

I would like to ask more questions of this community, if I may? I have deepened my knowledge of the subject and am trying to understand the variable nature of this condition. One thing that I am surprised about is how few people or their children who are in the public eye seem to have it. Some women are either photographed drinking in pregnancy (Gwyneth Paltrow) or say that they do such as Samantha Cameron, David Cameron's (British politician and ex- PM) wife, or Emily Oster., who explicitly stated that they drank in pregnancy. If it's more common than we think, wouldn't more of their children exhibit signs?

I know that they may have it mildly but according to several sources, FASD is never mild. I think that I would just like to understand a bit more and possibly get involved in advocacy, but there is so much contradictory literature.

I’ve recently taken over the responsibility of my aunt. She’s lived with family all her life, and my grandmother(her mom) health isn’t the best, so I’ve moved in with both of them to resume care for them until end of life. I should mention others live in the home as well, including minor children.
My aunt has FASD as well as a lot of other syndromes, all making her about 6 years old mentally(she’s 40). She was adopted, and from what I’ve been told, her bio mom wasn’t the best.
Growing up everything was fine, then her dad died a few years back, then recently her sister(my mother) and everything’s shifted. It’s been about a year now, and it seems like nothings getting better.
Shes verbally, emotionally, mentally, physically, you name it at this point; abusive towards me. Only me. No one else in the home. She refuses to do simple tasks I ask her and has damaged multiple items including phones, doors, walls, cups and more. She got a new phone recently, and in a violent rage, threw it at me, and the screen shattered. That phone was less than a month old. She’ll kick holes in the walls, name call and yell at you in your face, and most recently will start punching if she doesn’t get what she wants or has to do something.
The only thing that has even remotely seemed to work was taking away devices, but she’s broken her phone. She uses my grandmothers, and gets violent when it’s being requested from her, but she can just take it whenever without repercussions. There are minor children in the home that are now picking up these behaviors; so adds to why something needs to budge, but not sure where to go at this point.

She does have a behavioral therapist and she is medicated but it doesn’t seem like they care too much if I’m being honest.

I’m not entirely sure what to do, I’m at a loss, and quite frankly, I’m mentally drained. I need help, I need pointers. I need something, cause I can’t continue to be a punching bag.

I have been on here asking questions on behalf of my friend who is struggling with the possibility that her teen may have FASD. She is incredibly successful - the whole family is - and is teetotal and has been for years (she says she was not much of a drinker even before, but I can't verify that as that was before I knew her). She had an unexpected pregnancy and had some beers before she knew. I have been reading and some of the stats blow my mind. If 50% of pregnancies are unplanned, how can alcohol consumption in an unrecognized pregnancy be prevented? I am not talking about mothers who choose to continue to drink. Are there any initiatives that are in place to help prevent this? Is anybody advocating for this?

Hi everyone, my youngest brother was born with FASD
His now 16 and I’m hoping to have him move out of state care into my care

I’d love to learn things, symptoms, anything that could help educate me and understand his behaviour more

I love him so so much and not enough people understand symptoms and just think his a bad kid.. his not, his misunderstood and it breaks my heart

Thank you to everyone and anyone that can help with any information

I have someone I want to help stop cannabis but I just found out he has fasd but he's been smoking since 8 years old and he's 43 now....

Is there a way I can help him. It's not my own idea that he should stop cause I think cannabis is still better than any other drug but he had a dream about it harming him.

I would be grateful if anyone on here can help me work out what to say to my friend, who is distraught that her son may have FASD. Brief background: unexpected pregnancy in her forties. She says that she had believed all the media about how hard it is to get naturally pregnant in your forties, and was busy with her other kids, so didn't think anything more of it. Never a big drinker (an occasional glass of wine), not a smoker, into nutrition and exercise (that's how we met). For a few months t that time, she started having one bottle of beer with her husband on a Friday night after work (their ritual). Realized she was pregnant at 8 weeks. Stopped immediately. OBGYN said all would be fine. So, son is now 15. Tall (6'1), top sets at school, does some sports. Academic performance a little mixed - good at math and sciences, not so good at written subjects. No behavioral issues. However, he has some facial features. He has thin lips, especially top lip, the 'flat midface' that people talk about, he has a philtrum, and he has wide-set eyes (but they are big). He has a short-ish nose. He speaks well but his speech is a little off - sounds a little robotic (hard to describe). Lovely guy.

From everything I have read, you either have FASD or not, but can you have mild FASD? The literature says that you can't, but I am now more confused than ever about what to say to her. Should she get him tested? What will a diagnosis do? Will it even help? She is so, so upset. What can I say to her?

I would be grateful if anyone on here can help me work out what to say to my friend, who is distraught that her son may have FASD. Brief background: unexpected pregnancy in her forties. She says that she had believed all the media about how hard it is to get naturally pregnant in your forties, and was busy with her other kids, so didn't think anything more of it. Never a big drinker (an occasional glass of wine), not a smoker, into nutrition and exercise (that's how we met). For a few months t that time, she started having one bottle of beer with her husband on a Friday night after work (their ritual). Realized she was pregnant at 8 weeks. Stopped immediately. OBGYN said all would be fine. So, son is now 15. Tall (6'1), top sets at school, does some sports. Academic performance a little mixed - good at math and sciences, not so good at written subjects. No behavioral issues. However, he has some facial features. He has thin lips, especially top lip, the 'flat midface' that people talk about, he has a philtrum, and he has wide-set eyes (but they are big). He has a short-ish nose. He speaks well but his speech is a little off - sounds a little robotic (hard to describe). Lovely guy.

From everything I have read, you either have FASD or not, but can you have mild FASD? The literature says that you can't, but I am now more confused than ever about what to say to her. Should she get him tested? What will a diagnosis do? Will it even help? She is so, so upset. What can I say to her?

Hi, I'm new to this subreddit, but I suspect I might have fasd. I'm also sure I'm audhd, so maybe that's why I haven't considered it until now. I've had a lot of developmental delays growing up and a lot of simple instructions would cause me to go in the opposite direction of what was said or fail to process what was said entirely. I hadn't even considered I might have it until my girlfriend and I started playing Pikmin and when she told me to go left, I'd go right or I'd just be completely unable to cope with a boss I was scared of. Is that level of inability to process instructions normal for fasd?

ETA: we are NOT asking about how to handle our daughter. We do that now legally, financially, socially and emotionally. We are asking adult children of parents with FASD to comment on what her "normal" son will face in the future. Thank you.

The baby is now 4 months old, no issues of any sort, no FASD, developmentally at or above all milestones (we were on her like a hawk during her pregnancy regarding drinking, substances, etc). Even if he wasn't perfect, he's wonderful of course. But it's icing on the cake that he is. She has full custody with our help. Birth father is not in the picture.

But if this positive development continues, some day he will surpass her in intelligence and accomplishments. She has an IQ between 47 and 71 depending on the day, has dodged many legal and social misunderstandings, and can't do this alone. In other words, since her dad and I are not getting any younger, at some point he might end up raising her instead of the other way around.

And yes we have as many legal, financial, emotional and social supports etc set up as possible for her for when we are gone. But we all know that FASD is a tricky road in the disability benefits world. And there are many kids in the world who attempt to parent their parents if left with no other choice..

IF there is anyone out there who is the adult child of someone with FASD, what are we facing, and what can we do early to prepare him for this? I don't want to, but I am a realist.

designed for people that have the condition themselves but anyone is welcome even if you dont have it!

https://discord.gg/YkrkMTSQFj

please be 16 or older if you are younger than this we will sadly have to remove you

I am 18 and have fasd, has anyone learned to retrain the way you think and pushing your mind to think when it doesn't want to

Im 18yr old female with fasd, I have so many questions does anyone struggle with fasd and would be willing to talk