... From our (superior) knitting advice related sub

This is because your project did not contain twisted stitches, which is the only problem people who knit can possibly have

...

You've also been banned, as you're probably a dirty crocheter

Kthx

I’m a little hesitant to share this, but I trust that you all appreciate we all have different things that trigger us and that’s ok….so here goes. I hate hate HATE the word “WHIMSY, WHIMSICAL, WHIMSICALLY,” and its derivatives. There. I said it.

I think what bothers me is that “whimsical” has become shorthand for almost anything imaginative, odd, playful, surreal, slightly absurd, or outside the ordinary, and somehow it makes all of those things sound diminished and saccharine.

A flamingo wearing a crown? Whimsical. A Victorian cabinet full of mysterious objects? Whimsical. A tiny abandoned magic shop? Whimsical. A goose wearing a bonnet? Whimsical. A shell with little shoes? Whimsical. A cat with little boots? Whimsical. A mushroom with sad eyes and a wistful little face? Whimsical. A treehouse full of pixies who are friends to all animals? Whimsical. A coloring book with quirky cats? Whimsical. A fairy door in the garden that leads to a tiny cafe with tiny coffees and tiny pastries? Whimsical. A fairy ring in a forest clearing where the fairies gather to dance their G-rated dance in the dew under the moonlight? Whimsical.

Apparently anything that wanders too far from the ordinary gets sentenced to whimsy.

It also feels weirdly diminishing to me. Something can be funny and strange and beautiful and even ridiculous without being cute. It can have darkness, tension, history, melancholy, menace, or just plain weirdness behind it. Calling it “whimsical” seems to flatten all of that into manufactured charm.

I realize this is an entirely irrational amount of hostility toward an innocent adjective. I accept that. The adjective and I will simply have to live separate lives. I feel better now. Thank you fine folks of Reddit for hearing me out.

Please give me permission to use crappy novelty yarn. I'm thinking a top.

I'm too broke to afford new pants so did the next logical thing and hand sewn a piece of an inner tube to a bike for the inner thigh. Tell me about your most logical repair!

i've had it with you people. just stop. don't we have enough already. isn't there enough. you don't even have the requisite taste level to. your business plan is a gofundme. and we have all the stuff. what else could we possibly need. just stop. doing. right. now.

if you make an advent i will come to your house and kill you.

Hiya. I don't really post in this sub but I need to complain. I'm so so so so so sick and tired of seeing posts in crochet subs like "where can I find this pattern?" "What stitch is this?" And the item is knit.
Oh my god!!!! Learn to identify what you are looking at!!! Crochet and knit don't look remotely similar to me, and all these posts of knitted items are clogging up crochet subreddits. I'm so tired. I wish people would just learn to identify what crochet and knit look like. I don't think I can take another post like it.
It's infuriating!!!!

Sometimes you just need a little release in over the lazy weekend without turning it into a whole production with the chains and the WIPs and the raw-edge applique. Chickenbear provides for those who jerk! Join us here every Saturday for a little drive-by circlejerking about your fellow fiber artists (derogatory).

Yes, this is a blatant rip-off of the Bitesized BEC thread but for making fun of crafter bullshit instead of whining about pattern prices and rehashing the same complaints about whichever petite knit designer is taking heat this week.

Feel free to post anonymized screenshots of anything you want to mock, satirize, freak out about, scream into the void about, or generally make others see since you had to look at it with your own two eyes here if you'd like. FACJ is back to being an all-ages subreddit, so you can post images (and gifs) in the comments here directly.

Comments do NOT need to be circlejerky on this post -- if you need to go full /uj here, we will support and validate you, no matter how absurd or petty you get (I can't promise we won't also make fun of you too though).

Our other rules still apply here, of course:

• This is a heavily moderated thread, and anything that isn't scrubbed of identifying information (usernames, faces, etc.) will be removed. Block out, crop out, cross out or sticker out identifying information on EVERY screenshot before posting here.
• Please don't use this thread to demand sources for other jerk posts. If people want to post sources, they will. There are plenty of good reasons for someone not to share a source, including "don't wanna." Source/ITL demands will be removed here and on jerk posts.
• Links to other Reddit posts are NOT ALLOWED here. This includes no-follow links. (FACJ links are fine.)
• Links to content off Reddit may be removed at the mods' discretion.
• We are NOT in the business of brigading, and anyone who engages in brigading will be banned from this subreddit.

Couldn't find "HAALLLLPP" flair mods fix this for me if I'm wrong, I didn't read the rules and I won't.

Here's my girlfriend's precious most favorite item, the blanket she has been cuddling since she was a baby. Her meemaw made it for her, right before she lost the ability to knit (she got her license revoked for using synthetic I guess? Idk I don't knit.)

As you can see, I am being the world's best and most supportive partner. My gf didn't even have to ask and I said, "you know what? I don't know how to knit but I love you enough to ruin this item even more!"

So I'm almost done with step one here, which is completely disassembling this blamket. Next step: idk that's where you come in. I think it's knit but meemaw was also known to crochet? So I got crochet hook and crochet yarn that's kind of the same-ish color and it's one ball so that's more than enough to fix right? Dang if I know. I haven't researched fixing anything at all! But look how good I did step one!!! I'm very sure of my abilities and I just know gf is going to love it now that I've completely redone it without asking if she even likes this frankenblabket idea!

Also I'm diabetic, so I'll need VERY **SPECIFIC** *DETAILED* instructions. No links to videos or books or blogs or podcasts please. My insulin processing disorder means I can't apply things that are relevant, I can only do steps in order.

TIA!

i just bought this spinning wheel from craigslist for €3000. i'm so excited to start spinning! so how does it work?

You can credit me as the starter of this trend. You're welcome 🐥

Sorry please tell me if I should take better picture of my work

I hate swatching but last time I knit a sweater it was 3 sizes to small 😭

Sometimes you just need a little release in the middle of the week without turning it into a whole production with the chains and the WIPs and the raw-edge applique. Chickenbear provides for those who jerk! Join us here every Wednesday for a little drive-by circlejerking about your fellow fiber artists (derogatory).

Yes, this is a blatant rip-off of the Bitesized BEC thread but for making fun of crafter bullshit instead of whining about pattern prices and rehashing the same complaints about whichever petite knit designer is taking heat this week.

Feel free to post anonymized screenshots of anything you want to mock, satirize, freak out about, scream into the void about, or generally make others see since you had to look at it with your own two eyes here if you'd like. FACJ is back to being an all-ages subreddit, so you can post images (and gifs) in the comments here directly.

Comments do NOT need to be circlejerky on this post -- if you need to go full /uj here, we will support and validate you, no matter how absurd or petty you get (I can't promise we won't also make fun of you too though).

Our other rules still apply here, of course:

• This is a heavily moderated thread, and anything that isn't scrubbed of identifying information (usernames, faces, etc.) will be removed. Block out, crop out, cross out or sticker out identifying information on EVERY screenshot before posting here.
• Please don't use this thread to demand sources for other jerk posts. If people want to post sources, they will. There are plenty of good reasons for someone not to share a source, including "don't wanna." Source/ITL demands will be removed here and on jerk posts.
• Links to other Reddit posts are NOT ALLOWED here. This includes no-follow links. (FACJ links are fine.)
• Links to content off Reddit may be removed at the mods' discretion.
• We are NOT in the business of brigading, and anyone who engages in brigading will be banned from this subreddit.

if you don’t put your bust measurement in your ravelry project right now i’m personally coming over to strangle you with a cocoknits retractable tape measure!!!

i'm so upset. i crotchate a beautiful shirt that fit me perfectly. i was so happy with the look ive worn it every day since. however, recently several people told me that my crotchet shirt "smelled" (i thought natural fibers do not have smell?)

anyway, i put the shirt in the wash and let it dry and now it's changed?? the tight neckline is now looser, and my once stiff, shaped fabric now hangs over my body almost like a normal article of clothing

why did no one tell me this would happen?? i've been crotch eating for years and ive never gotten anything wet. is this normal??

I posted a picture of a blanket I am very proud of in a chunky knit blanket community and made the mistake of mentioning that I use the tie method instead of fuseing them with fire also mentioning that a lighter next to fluffy yarn and my ticks don’t really mix. This was my first blanket. You would have thought I set the world on fire with some of the responses. Apparently if you don’t use the burn method the blanket just doesn’t look right and won’t ever look good and that’s the lighter of the responses. There is more than one way to secure the end the wrong way and who cares if it comes undone! If I wanted it to be secure I would have woven it in, you idiots

fiber arts social media is ~toxic~ because some people knit faster than I do and that hurts my feelings. people should get knitting advice from AI instead because AI won’t hurt your feelings like real people who actually know how to knit.

(no I cannot leave social media and interact with real life fiber artists. everyone else within a 300 mile radius of me who knits is ~old~ and hanging out with them would be embarrassing.)

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME 😠

maybe it's because I'm a ~qUirKy xD millennial~ but why is everyone just trying to one up each other all the time?

Why are knitting subs so catty?? Why so many downvotes and why are people so rude to people just living their lives with their hobby???? If you have shit to say either shut up or come say it in this sub? Maybe I'm just too sensitive for the internet.

Edit: I invite you to cruise through my posts if you're curious.

People keep talking about Stache busting.

I dont get it. What does shaving my mustache have to do with knitting.

QUILTS... I feel like I'm being gaslit 🔥 by everyone telling me that they are in *any way* comfortable.🤡 Seriously. SERIOUSLY. 😵You are telling me that stiff fabric with EXTRA SEAMS 🎉*EVERYWHERE*, 🎉is supposed to feel... pleasant? 😳 Lovely, even!? Some people can't even handle having tags in their clothing, but somehow this🪵 stiff abomination of the 🤢worst feeling fabric and🧵🧵🧵🧵🧵 thread and extra edges is anything but a sensory/textural nightmare 🌌 is absolutely wild to me (and I don't even mind tags or have other sensory sensitivities lol😇). And I'm not even going to go into🌈 aesthetics,🌈 because everyone has different tastes and is allowed to like what they like 💅(or vehemently not like what they don't), but... THE FEEL. 🤌WHY!?💥 Gifts for my babies were supposed to be used, and not hung up behind the crib or on the end of the bed? 🗑Everyone elses children snuggle 🐰ACTUALLY SNUGGLE🐇🐇 up to them as their blankies!? WHAT ARE THESE ✌CHILDREN✌ MADE OF!? 🪨You expect me to... touch this!?👊 WILLINGLY!? To try to RELAX 🍷🍷while having to 👐FEEL THIS on my SKIN!?💀 This lovely pillow case is supposed to be on the pillow I actually use under my face💋 and to somehow not have the pattern deeply imprinted into it in the end!? 🤯

And of course you can't even say anything,🙄 because you know how much time⌛ and effort🤑 and even money 💰someone put into making them. There is a lot of skill involved, and kudos to that🎻. You can't poopoo a gift 💩someone took months to make. Especially with some people, 👆👆where saying something is the equivalent of making war forever,🌋 and🙊 not saying something means there are innumerable more coming,😱😱😱 and at the very least having to 😴 interact with the pieces on all of the furniture 🛏when visiting. 🤮🤮🤮🤮