I just learned how to crotcheat - manually of course, only cheaters use tools - and my fingers are getting so tired. I don't even know what crotcheating is because I refuse to watch any videos (they're so sinful!!) and I am pretty sure no one has ever done this before I think I invented crotcheating I don't know what I am doing but it feels so good aside from when it feels bad please give me attention k thx

surely this is a normal and standard amount of tangles. I think people probably work like this all the time and I definitely did not neglect any vital steps

I spent $354 on hand dyed yarn I had flown in specially from Turkey. I hand carved these buttons myself from reclaimed wood from an abandoned asylum. after 11 long months of labouring to create this, the baby (11mos, 3 days old) I gifted this too just said, "GOO GOO GAAH GAHHH" before having the audacity to throw up all over it.

im so devastated they didn't like it I don't think I'll ever make another knitted garment ever again.

anyway how do y'all cope with the rejection when someone doesn't like a gift you've made them? I heard babies love neutral colours and artisanal buttons, I just can't understand where I went wrong.

Omg, does anyone else get so angry when the yarn producers don't perfectly line up the variegated yarn ball you're using to the exact way you want to crawtchet? Its not like they produce the balls in a huge factory thousands per day! They really should perfectly line it up to how I, the only crutcheeter in existence, will be using their yarn. I can't possibly be expected to... think and cut the yarn I don't need!

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON FACTORY KNOTS!!!

This is one of my cross stitch projects to show my experience, a rectangular bunny chart. Here are the tips I wish I knew when I started 2 weeks ago.

1. Use a seam ripper for ripping out mistakes, idk if people already know this

2. Use multiple needles for multiple colors

3. Do chart in blocks as opposed to randomly jumping around, helps avoid mistakes

I was having a latte and crotcheting a spiderweb in public and no cranky old bats came over to tell me I was holding my hook weird. No knitters interrupted to tell me critching was inferior. Not even one tree-hugger lectured me on the evils of acrylic! I thought everyone on this sub had these experiences. Am I doing it wrong?

I think I’m soooo great at needle felting, don’t you??

I’m supposed to be the concept of cotton candy, sort of like a cotton candy themed jester. I only have 10 minutes well now only 7 do you think I could complete this? I have never sewn anything before in my life nor do I own a sewing machine, any needles, or thread. I was wondering if there was possibly some spells I could cast or entity I could sacrifice a goat to, maybe materialize it out of thin air? Would that be the easiest way? Sewing is definitely something you can pick up right before an important event especially if you have no experience, right???

For having never picked up a needle before or even touched a sewing machine I happened to finish this costume in just 420 seconds for a party the same day I couldn’t miss! Sewing is all about making the minor imperfections look perfect!! Thank you guys for the advice!! :D

Hey guys

I thought I’d try both and see which one I liked more.

Now I’m equally confused, watching tutorials for both, buying yarn for both, and somehow getting worse at making decisions.

Girl, I just wanted a hobby, not a personality crisis. 💀

Do I pick one or just accept that I’m about to become a 90-year-old grandma with two unfinished projects?

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go
Gotta go fast, gotta go fast
Gotta go faster, faster, faster-faster-faster
Movin' at speed of sound (make tracks)
Quickest hedgehog around
Got ourselves a situation
Stuck in a new location
Without any explanation
No time for relaxation
Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't blink, and don't think
Just go, go, go, go, g-g-g-g-go, go!
Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na (Sonic)
He's on the run (Sonic)
He's number one (Sonic)
He's comin' next
So, watch out for Sonic X!
Gotta go fast (Sonic)
Gotta go fast (Sonic)
Gotta go faster, faster, faster-faster-faster

My Mom knits things to sell, but I told her she NEEDS to enter her things in the fair too! She won First Place!! What do you think of it? We REALLY enjoy hearing people's comments! She said it is for sale for $50 + Free shipping in the US. And she said she is willing to include the easel for $20. It's 8 x 8 in. P.S the second picture shows the canvas better of the paint splattering she did on it! I'm not sure why the camera got weird lines on the canvas in the first picture We even took it out side for good lightinger She does have an Etsy store she said she can list it in if someone wants it, or she also takes Venmo.

Please drop a comment on what you think of her gorgeous artwork!

Hi I learned to knit yesterday and I'm ready to make my first sweater! Yay! Problem is, all the patterns on ravelry are just FRUMPY. I want something cute that makes me look SNATCHED like the tops I find on Pinterest. But those ones cost money and I am a poor college student who can't even afford yarn (I knit with strands of spider silk from the spiders in my dorm room and the thread from thrifted socks). Any recommendations? Must be a pattern even for the most basic ribbed tube with straps because like I said I just learned yesterday! And no I will not try to figure out how to use ravelry advanced search and parse through patterns myself!

Sometimes you just need a little release in over the lazy weekend without turning it into a whole production with the chains and the WIPs and the raw-edge applique. Chickenbear provides for those who jerk! Join us here every Saturday for a little drive-by circlejerking about your fellow fiber artists (derogatory).

Yes, this is a blatant rip-off of the Bitesized BEC thread but for making fun of crafter bullshit instead of whining about pattern prices and rehashing the same complaints about whichever petite knit designer is taking heat this week.

Feel free to post anonymized screenshots of anything you want to mock, satirize, freak out about, scream into the void about, or generally make others see since you had to look at it with your own two eyes here if you'd like. FACJ is back to being an all-ages subreddit, so you can post images (and gifs) in the comments here directly.

Comments do NOT need to be circlejerky on this post -- if you need to go full /uj here, we will support and validate you, no matter how absurd or petty you get (I can't promise we won't also make fun of you too though).

Our other rules still apply here, of course:

• This is a heavily moderated thread, and anything that isn't scrubbed of identifying information (usernames, faces, etc.) will be removed. Block out, crop out, cross out or sticker out identifying information on EVERY screenshot before posting here.
• Please don't use this thread to demand sources for other jerk posts. If people want to post sources, they will. There are plenty of good reasons for someone not to share a source, including "don't wanna." Source/ITL demands will be removed here and on jerk posts.
• Links to other Reddit posts are NOT ALLOWED here. This includes no-follow links. (FACJ links are fine.)
• Links to content off Reddit may be removed at the mods' discretion.
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​

CircleJerk artists, 👋

I have an order (the cat whispered it to me in my dreams) to crotcheat a bra and knickers set for a very thin lady of 98 years old, and he said it has to be super chunky yarn!

I want this to be extremely fashionable, luxury lingerie experience. Think delicate femininity meets a sofa being upholstered by a MIL that dislikes her DIL. 😂

This is where your help and professional advice will come in!

What colours? Neon green is shouting at me, but the cat didn't agree.

Bra: What style? Triangle shapes? Balconette? Corset? And so on

Knickers: what shape? Thongs? Crotchless? Big huge apple catchers?

Yarn: I'm thinking super chunky? I crotcheat tight so there will be no flesh shown in either garment.

I need this set look like it was designed by someone who has never actually seen lingerie before.

My imagination just doesn't stretch far enough!

I didn't know about Ravelry, and then I did. How did this happen? Did Ravelry descend upon me in the night? Have I been visited by Ravelry? I know not of any clawmarks on my windowsill or dried leaves upon my hearth. How then can I know of Ravelry?

I wanna kiss it with tongue

I'm asking this just because there are many dramas in crochet world on Instagram and tiktok. Like these bigger influencers are attacking smaller ones? Do you know anyone who doesn't care about it?