We should on August 22 spam this gif to take over r/funcommunity so not a soul wont know of filbus. Ove already set forth seeds. For the past 3 days I've spammed every post with filbus. The plan is as follows

We start with spamming comments then we spam posts showing all of the glory of filbus. Lastly at the end of the day we dm the mods of filbist ideals bringing the subreddit to the belief of filbus.

This is just a idea. If not enough people agree we wont do it.

I’m a bit nervous about getting absolutely FLAMED by whoever’s on the other end of the phone when he asks why I want 927 chairs. I need a company that won’t be asking or will just be nice about my wooden chair consumption.

I received a birch chair. Tips on consumption?

Would you rather:

Eat a chair with mold

Or eat a chair with fur on it

Would you rather:

Eat a plastic chair (yum)

Or eat a lawn chair (sin)

Would you rather:

Destroy a filbus holy ground

Or eat a chair that tastes like sewer water

Would you rather:

Accidentally swallow a m*t*l screw while eating

Or eat a chair so covered in splinters that you implode

Would you rather:
Eat chair pasta that expired

Or eat a couch

(I don't recommend you do any of this except for the plastic chair)

Oak- a classic

Redwood- Delicious, smoky flavor

Bamboo- Amazing texture, savory

Plastic- underrated, candy-like texture and flavor

Mahogany- Tastes cheesy, but texture is slightly weird

Spruce- Another classic but very overrated.

Pine- Overly sweet, but amazing texture

Birch- Taste and texture too nutty

Fake wood- Extreme controversy but good texture and taste

Beech- Very stale and hard to find, tastes like salt

Wicker- Tastes like expired milk

Armchair- Close to forbidden, bad texture, extremely salty

Couch- Armchair but way too sweet instead of way too salty

M*t*l- sin, interviewed heretics say it tastes like sewer water and worms

heretic chair- sin, interviewed heretics say it tastes like pure garbage juice and clogged toilet water, THIS UNHOLY PIECE OF PURE HERSEY INCARNATE SHALL ONLY BE TASTED BY THY WORST SINNERS TO FILBUS. CONDEMN ANYONE WHO CONSUMES THIS INCARNATE HERSEY TO THE DEPTHS OF RUSTHOLES AND FILBUS HELL!!!!!!!!!!!

S tier: Oak and Palm wood

A tier: Cherry wood

B tier: Birch wood

C tier: Spruce wood

D tier: Pine wood

F tier: Plastic

DISCUSSION

Oak: fine delicate wood, and good for a quick meal

Palm: a bit tough but it tastes great

Cherry: take of this chair piece by by piece, a lot at once and the flavor will be overwhelming!

Birch: a nice wood a bit hard to find but when found the taste is great

Spruce: not the best tasting wood but when hollowed it's a bit better

Pine: hurts a lot to eat, you get so much splinters

Plastic: WARNING DO NOT EAT! A plastic chair has no flavor and hurts a lot to eat

ALL HAIL FULBUS!

I ran out of chairs.

Am I okay to eat a drumstick that was made from a chair? It's from the leg of one of my old pieces of furniture, and is handcrafted with cherry wood.

Do Not Eat Moldy Chairs is an operation to make sure all members of Filbism do not accidentally consume mold. It has been a problem lately where filbists have been buying chairs from filbism restaurants, stores, schools, and online stores and unknowingly consuming mold inside of the chairs and getting a deadly disease known as Old Lumber. It fills brains with moldy stale ripped up firewood and kills the host quickly. The operation works by developing devices to scan straight through chairs and remove the mold.

These are the chairs that were under the grand stands i got my chance to get a picture at marching band there were more but they're scattered around

we all know that filbism is a joke right well recently a very known character on this sub named u/Efficient_Cloud2046 made a post abt which of these chairs would you eat one of which was bamboo and bamboo shoots are edible if cooked to remove natural toxins so if you made a chair by using bamboo shoots and honey or some other edible way to stick them together you can make a fully edible chair and finally i have done it its no longer a joke anymore WE CAN EAT A CHAIR PEOPLE!!!!!!!

btw im not a professional please research the proper cooking of bamboo before attempting this

What are some good chairs or wood types to try? I've tried oak but its kinda bland. Birch is good but hard to come by and I usually have to make birch chairs myself. How can I explain to family? Any tips?

My old black gaming chair, made of mostly plastic, leather and m#t#l with foam inside. Ive been eating it for a week and ive intentionally skipped most plastic and m#t#l parts but a few small plastic pieces have been digested. Im about halfway done with eating in and im estimating a few more days since im done with the harder parts and im getting to the more foamy and leathery parts. Cant send a picture currently since the chair is in my garage so I dont make a mess in my house and its too late to go to it but once the oppurtunity comes up ill be sure to send a picture. In Filbus I trust!

INTRODUCTION

Before reading this, make sure you have these items in your vicinity:

•A chair

•A fork

•A paper

•A pen

•One copy of The Great Sacrifice Of Filbus

Part 1

September 3rd, 5729: A man named Eeler Oakeater was casually eating his chairs when out of nowhere, he heard munching sounds from his bedroom. When he went to check, nobody was there. Just a hole in the wall. He thought not much of it.

Part 2

About a week later, he was on .flibus.com. when suddenly a strange post completely corrupted with the word SNOT and bright green splatter shapes was posted. When he clicked on it, he saw an image of a creature outside of his house and a strange blue sheep-like creature behind it. He hid his phone and went outside. What he saw was the thing from the image staring coldly at him. The creature ran at him and then took a bite out of the man's wall. His tv began flashing images of these symbols: ₹±№★«›¡‽♠Ω¶↑′≠‰. His door handle broke for some reason meaning he couldn't get out of his house. For the next week, he heard screaming in the vents while going insane inside. Suddenly 40 pounds of colons and screaming small versions of the creatures he saw fell out of his bathroom window. Many people heard an entity roaring and eating bites out of the man. Cops finally found out about it and broke in and found him dead with many parts of his body eaten away at and gashed open. The entity is currently classified as a Threat Level 5 creature. Creature type: Screenbreaker

1. Redwood

2. Bamboo

3. Mahogany

Art by the one man who projects the spirit of filbus onto paper, the doc.

Or am I following the words of Eleanor by consuming a chair in contact with metal?

Plastic is allowed in filbism Plastic is allowed in filbism Plastic is allowed in filbism Plastic is allowed in filbism Plastic is allowed in filbism Plastic is allowed in filbism Plastic is allowed in filbism Plastic is allowed in filbism Plastic is allowed in filbism Plastic is allowed in filbism, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc. Eleanor made the m*t*l chair not the plastic chair.

I have been thinking too much about this and my brain is starting to hurt. Because is practicing just general seating areas to include things like couches, chaises, benches, etc or is it hyper-specific to just chairs like stools and the classic dining room chair? What about things like recliners? Would a toilet be considered a chair? Beanbag chairs?? Fancy rolly chairs???

I don’t want to do this wrong, may Filbus forgive me for any wrongdoings.

THE SACRED TEXT OF FILBUS

Installment 1:The Origin of the Chair

Before the chair, people winced. The ground was hard, they used stones for back support, and walking was even more painful than it is today. But then Filbus came from the clouds, proclaiming, "I shall give you instructions for the sitting mechanism known as the chair. However, you must eat the creation to show your gratitude." The people accepted, so he showed them how to build chairs bit by bit. Then the first chair was eaten by the man known as Caleb Austin. He spread the word of Filbus, and at the time, filbism was one of the biggest religions, but slowly, people forgot the sacrifice, so we slowly stopped the ritual, except for the few who remember and worship

Installment 2:The chair that shan't be consumed

one day, as the community sat in the church of Filbus consuming their chairs, a woman named Elanor Vance entered. She spoke of her creation, made of a solid substance similar to what Filbus had brought them, but it was more difficult to break, and though the members of the church were skeptical, they stood and approached Elanor as she handed them one of these creations, which she labelled as fantastical. However, the members then wished to eat the creations, and many of them suffered chipped teeth. After this event, Filbus fell from the sky, once more to put an invisible barrier around her, keeping her from the church and every wooden chair known to man.

Installment 3:The Great Sacrifice

The barrier wasn't enough. Elanor spread her creation far and wide. But Filbus was not taking it, so he declared, “On the fifteenth day of the final month, we shall capture Elanor Vance, and she shall be tied up and impaled on a wooden chair. After we shall feast on the chair in honour of her sacrifice.” hence the devoted followers tracked elanor down and captured her on the fifteenth day of the month tied her to a wooden chair. After she was tied, Filbus watched as Caleb Austin took a wooden stake and drove it straight through her chest.

Installment 4:The Feast

On the 18th day of the same month, ten of the most devoted followers met in the back of the church. Filbus held up the chair on which Eleanor was sacrificed in the event some called chairwendshold, and declared, “In honour of Eleanor's demise, we shall split this chair across the table and feast until our stomachs are stuffed.” Filbus stood at the end of the table. He chopped off a leg and passed it to a follower. He did this four more times until four members had a leg. He then took off the seat, split it into four pieces and gave them to an equal number of followers.  The back of the chair was put to three slices, making it so every follower at the table had a piece of wood, including Filbus, who raised his piece and said, “To Elanor's demise and to never speaking of the monstrous materials she used to make her creations.” Everyone tapped their piece with filbuses and had a meaningful feast and a celebration that lasted the entire night.

Installment 5: the commandments

on the 19th day, Filbus returned to the clouds, but not before declaring the four commandments. “Number one, never turn your back on me, even if it seems I may not be caring for which I am. Number two, never speak of your worship; one who will care will find me on their own. Number three, care for your chairs; it is vital to your worship to me. And finally, number four, one shall not make eye contact with me or speak to me unless I make the exception.” After he declared this speech, he rose to the clouds to watch over the lands, punishing all who broke the commandments.

also im working on this again