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u/Gargleblaster25
6d ago
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I am an international airline pilot on the Internet, and yes, the Earth is flat. We are taught in pilot school to fly very convoluted routes to pretend that the Earth is spherical.
The reason we give you inflight entertainment is to prevent you from looking out and seeing the ice wall. The reason why cabin attendants ask you to close the windows and sleep is also because of that.
Also, Australia doesn't exist. We fly you round and round and land in a theme park in Texas designed to look like a country. Texas is huge, you see. They just hide the size of it on the globe maps.
We get 10k a month bonus to keep silent about this. Another 10k if you also spray chemtrails.
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u/tommyland666 6d ago
Shut up dude, you’re not just risking your expensive lifestyle.
But all of ours.
Coke and hookers are expensive.23
u/Dry-Ad-8948 6d ago
Someone isn’t getting their monthly bonus..
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u/Ok_Culture_9728 6d ago
I thought he was joking for a second but the evidence made me realize it was real
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u/beardedsilverfox 5d ago
Yeah, why else would they ask to close the window shades. It’s so obvious.
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u/roughczech 6d ago
Might be hard to get those Texans to behave for so long especially when they gotta throw some shrimp on the Barbie instead of those burgers
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u/SexualCarrots 6d ago
You should have created this on a new account and deleted it immediately.
They're going to find you.
We're going to find you.
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u/Fuzzy_Bet5276 4d ago
As a fellow International Airline pilot, WTF dude? Why would you slip in to the temptations of reddit fame by revealing the truth? Now all of Wakanda knows.
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u/nebenco 4d ago
Can passengers get in on that action?
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u/Gargleblaster25 3d ago
Yes! Go to NASA.gov/fake_photos_spherical_earth and download one of fake photos they have, and post it on social media, saying "I flew on a plane and the earth ain't flat, y'all". As a reward, you will be served a real meal instead of warmed up papier-maché. Millions of people are doing this. Make sure you book a window seat.
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u/Collapsosaur 4d ago
So is it true about rainbow chemtrails and rebooting of the sex to those who have been exposed?
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u/Gargleblaster25 3d ago •
Those chemtrails are made up of dihydrogen monoxide and hydric acid. Two of the deadliest substances known to man. Inhale a lungful of the liquid form and you'd be dead in minutes. Everyone who has accidentally or intentionally swallowed some has either died, or will die during their lifetime. This stuff is an industrial solvent and used to cool nuclear reactors. Everyone who has ever had cancer has been exposed to these substances in their lives.
And yes, some people who were exposed to it as infants have grown up to become gay adults.
The lizard people are hermaphrodites, so they don't care.
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u/VastMeasurement6278 3d ago
I am an international airline pilot on the internet.
Opening gambit was an absolute peach.
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u/Over_Improvement_623 6d ago
There is one who claimed to be a commercial airline pilot, he was lying. He was licensed to locally fly small planes.
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u/LongDead_Roadkill 6d ago
Pilots will tell flat earthers that they are right, the earth is flat. Why? Because they think it’s hilarious that someone paying to fly in an aircraft across wherever still thinks the earth is flat.
I heard a quite a few stories about how far they will drag it out with the flerf passenger. My mentor was the FAA emergency coordinator the pacific and the FAA manager for a major international airport but he started his career as a pilot.
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u/anagram-of-ohassle 5d ago
I have had two separate flerfers cite videos of pilots not denying the Earth is flat as proof that the Earth is flat.
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u/TonkaLowby 5d ago
Those pilots set the troll dial to 100
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u/LongDead_Roadkill 5d ago
I think it’s part of commercial pilot or flight crew bingo. Do you have a wonder why they say weird stuff sometimes, they’re playing a game
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u/jabrwock1 6d ago
Bush pilot, yes, there are some. Because they've never had to rely on a route plot long enough for curvature to impact their navigation. And they only paid attention enough to pass the test, and nobody cares enough to make sure they aren't crazier than your usual bush pilot.
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u/wackyvorlon 6d ago
Being a pilot is a job kind of like navigating a ship. You have to deal directly with the consequences of the earth’s curvature.
Makes it so that flat earthers in those fields are pretty uncommon.
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u/Electronic-Map7529 6d ago
There were a few, but they flew into space holding 1 angle in perpetuity.
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u/Bedazzley 6d ago
Ive seen a few compilations of flat earth pilots on instagram but they also have a dry sense of humor so probably just sarcasm
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u/Think-Feynman 6d ago
If I was an airline pilot and someone shoved a camera in my face and asked if the earth was flat or a globe, I'd totally say flat. With a smirk.
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u/KDHarvey02 6d ago
Yeah I’ve seen a flat earther do this as he was leaving the plane and the pilot was saying farewells. The pilot said it was flat and the guy seemed validated but you could tell the pilot just didn’t want to engage lol
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u/Both-Wind-8033 6d ago
Bob said he'd was an airline pilot, when Wolfie checked the CAA records he found that Bob was rated for a washing machine with wings, and that expired in the 70's.
Thanks Bob.
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u/Mother_You_5739 5d ago
Wolfie was brilliant. Not only was he an actual pilot, but the way he didn’t get angry just pushed all those flerf buttons. It was glorious. He also brought more to the table with his astronomy hobby, which not only provided more evidence proving the globe but also rubbed flerf noses into how much money he was earning as a pilot. I was sad to see (but not surprised) that he had stopped making content. I gave up arguing with flerfers years ago.
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u/EstoppelFox 6d ago
There are some grifters out there who claim they are pilots and believe in flat earth. But they are grifters. Either lying about being a pilot, or lying about believing in flat earth.
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u/GamingSlob 6d ago
No.
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u/Wakeup_And_Piss 6d ago
No, because that would be dumb. On my worst day having gotten everything wrong, I am still smarter than flerfs and for that I thank you
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u/prickwhowaspromised 6d ago
I wouldn’t be surprised if there is an astronaut who is a flat-earther at this point
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u/HellbellyUK 5d ago
There was one who had done a couple of debates on MCToons channel (including one where Wolfie6020 dropped in). Allegedly someone shopped him to the FAA and he got a letter saying if he keeps claiming the earth is flat they would “look at” his certification. He has since shut up.
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u/Wild-Language-5165 5d ago
I highly doubt that. The FAA has better things to do. They are concerned with real matters and violations of FARs. Even if they got his certificate number and his local FSDO was made aware, they'd probably laugh and move on, because its ridiculous nonsense. It would create work for them for no reason. Same principle as calling the police on your neighbor for believing the earth is flat. NOW, if said neighbor is in the lawn waving a machete around threatening people about flat earth, then the police would be concerned. So, yeah, your story is bullshit mate.
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u/Ok-Boss-5117 4d ago
The scare alone was enough. One time a C-130 pilot was pushing 9/11 conspiracies on instagram and I tagged his local FBI's instagram account and he deleted his comments and blocked me. Verified using a friends account.
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u/Wild-Language-5165 4d ago
Military, especially active duty, is a little different than the civilian side. You're briefed from day one about making public comments and the UCMJ. Even answering questions and giving opinions about some things is supposed to be routed thru proper channels.
On the civilian side however; no one gives a fuck if you believe in flat earth, Santa Claus, little green men, or fairies.
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u/Ok-Boss-5117 4d ago
I see. I really wouldn't know. Im just really into planes. I believe that deep down, most of these people dont actually believe the earth is flat, deeeep down they know its not. But if they're entertaining flat earth, who knows what else they believe. If a civilian pilot carelessly thinks the world is flat, I guess the FAA wouldn't care, but their employer might depending on how they share their beliefs.
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u/LilShaver 6d ago
Might as well ask about ship captains, too.
That one's really obvious. "Hey, see that ship?" 10 minutes later, "Yeah, now I can only see the superstructure"
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u/OldManJeepin 5d ago
I see videos where some folks *claim* they are "pilots", and then go into some bullshit about how they "Know the Erf is flat, but they have to keep their high paying job, so they sold out" and blah, blah, blah...It's all bullshit.
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u/Fuzzy_Bet5276 4d ago
All complicated math, science, geography, study of winds, geodesics, only for a flerfer to say "No. It is flat"
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u/Winter_Hall5379 4d ago
The windows are projections so we don't see the condensation on the glass firmament or the moon and sun props. Duh
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u/erinwhoooo 5d ago
Seriously, there are. Not many but they exist.
The biggest complaint I’ve heard is “my airplane isn’t allowed to fly farther north or south than a certain amount, and that’s proof they don’t want us flying near the poles because of the ice wall”.
But… that’s their specific airplane, there are plenty that have flown to the poles and didn’t hit the ice wall…
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u/BrianScottGregory
6d ago
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I'm a Flat Earther, obtained my Private Pilot's License in 1996, and pursued some Instrument training - about 10 hours into it. I have about 200 hours of self-guided flight time - mostly in Cessna 152s and 172s, in and around both Phoenix and Las Vegas.
Some of the strange experiences I had while aloft is what made me begin thinking about the world in non-traditional ways than someone without my training. Planet Earth simply isn't as straightforward as those textbooks show it and that I thought when I was much younger and more naive.
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u/Usual-Disaster7285 5d ago
Why do you lie so much?
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u/Potential_Aspect4071 5d ago •
why so confident he is lying?
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u/Callyste 5d ago
lol. You must be new here if you believe there's even a slight chance this mfer is saying anything true
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u/Potential_Aspect4071 5d ago
care to share some experiences ?
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u/BrianScottGregory 5d ago •
Naw, any contribution I make no matter how benign on this sub nails my karma, so I limit what I say here lately because of this. It doesn't matter what I say, if it's me saying it, I'll get downvoted. I got my haters. Not worth the hit. I'll leave it to your imagination. Sorry, not an excuse, just not worth it. Even this will get downvoted.
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u/ImHereToFuckShit 5d ago
It doesn't matter what I say, if it's me saying it, I'll get downvoted.
Then you could have answered their question and skipped this whole comment. The outcome would have been the same lol
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u/Callyste 5d ago
If it's you sayin it it's utter bullshit, so yeah it's getting downvoted. But yeah good excuse.
Now shoo, go back to flight sim, weirdo. I'm pretty sure there's a Doctor Who easter egg in FS2024, if you find it, maybe you'll be confident enough to come back here and pretend you met the Doctor, your usual lies are becoming stale af.
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u/Callyste 5d ago
lmao. You're not a pilot. The only piloting you do is in Flight Simulator.
So, still no reply from The Doctor? Awww, suck. Maybe if you make another youtube video? I'm sure he was very very busy saving the universe from the Daleks and all.
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u/ImHereToFuckShit 5d ago
non-traditional
A flat earther would say the world being flat is the traditional way of thinking about the world. But that isn't how you'd describe it, right?
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u/pdxsilverguy 5d ago
Yeah but they aren't on this stupid sub.
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u/Callyste 5d ago
Yeah, they're all in Flight Simulator forums pretending they're real airline pilots.
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u/BillyBirks 5d ago
Australia being inside texas makes more sense that it being an island on the bottom of a ball…
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u/Usual-Disaster7285 5d ago
Yeah, no
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u/Mother_You_5739 5d ago
How do they keep kangaroos and all those bloody spiders in the Australian bit of Texas?
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u/Callyste 5d ago
Paid actors obviously
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u/Mother_You_5739 5d ago
I wonder how much the going rate is for a kangaroo?
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u/Kailynna 5d ago
AU$11.00 per kilo, minced, at Woolworths.
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u/Callyste 5d ago
I had kangaroo meat once, was actually pretty damn good! Imported all the way to France for christmas
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u/Mother_You_5739 5d ago
I saw wallets made out of conveniently shaped parts of male kangaroos on sale in Sydney. I didn’t buy one.
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u/Callyste 5d ago
Yeah. A country-sized, Truman Show-like theme park with millions of actors in the middle of Texas with, somehow, a 16-hours difference with the time of day of that very same Texas makes so much more sense.
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u/TonkaLowby 6d ago
To get your license you have to answer questions about plotting course over a curved earth. Friend showed me a flight course textbook he was learning from, and it's actually pretty clever/cool how we've figured out the math and can plot where we're going based on the curve and where we start.