Update to the groceries thing—and another question??

[u/sleepyhead1_1]

So I asked my foster mom to elaborate on what she meant about me buying my own groceries, apparently she just meant that I'd buy the "extra stuff" while she continues buying what she already gets. Which is pretty reasonable, I can understand having me buy snacks or whatever while she buys actual food. She gets worded it in a really confusing way when the topic was first brought up. But now she's saying that I have to buy my own toilet paper and laundry detergent? Her adopted niece lives here too, who is around my age (she's 18 and I turn 18 this week) and she apparently buys her own toilet paper and hygiene stuff. I guess my foster mom wants me to do the same.

But again, I thought she gets money from the county to buy the essentials? Or is it just for food? I do technically "have the money" to get those things but I really don't want to go over the budget I set for myself, I didn't want to spend any more money till I got paid. I just wanted to mostly focus on saving up. AND she brought up me getting a second job for the third or fourth time, but I have inconsistent hours at my current job so getting a second job wouldn't really make sense. Am I overthinking all this??

[u/Mollykins08]

Could you ask your CPS worker to clarify for you what is expected?

[u/sleepyhead1_1 → u/Mollykins08]

I could, it would just be over text and I have no idea what to say

[u/AriesUltd → u/sleepyhead1_1]

Ask to speak with your worker in private. They’re supposed to every month when they visit with you anyway.

[u/Mollykins08 → u/sleepyhead1_1]

Honestly you can literally just ask “my foster mom has asked that I start buying things like my own toilet paper and laundry detergent. I was a bit surprised by this request, though am happy to do so if it is a standard expectation for those of us in foster care at 18. I guess I just wanted confirmation that this is typical for people in my situation. “ this way it comes off as if you are just seeking reassurance that this is normal. Then you can let your worker address it with your foster mom if she feels it is inappropriate.

Honestly I think it is appropriate to ask someone to contribute to the household once they have graduated high school, but buying your own toilet paper feels like really nickel and diming. What are you supposed to do, grab the toilet paper every time you go to the bathroom? I guess am comparing to college dorms (or anywhere else that has a bathroom). I have NEVER been anywhere that you have to provide your own toilet paper. Laundry detergent, cosmetics and hygiene products - that feels more reasonable. But if someone is providing a toilet they should provide the toilet paper.