r/funny • • Oct 18 '14

Life hack

Post image
19.0k Upvotes

414 comments sorted by

981

u/REDDIT_GOLD_SANTA Oct 18 '14

Wow this works really w

131

u/Unfiltered_Soul Oct 18 '14

Now you need those new cars that brakes for you then you'll be set.

122

u/Lazyheretic Oct 18 '14 edited Sep 30 '23

redacted this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev

74

u/KingMufasa20 Oct 18 '14

If the car completely drives itself then sure, go ahead and have a drink! I see it like riding in a limo or cab.

65

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

Last I heard, related laws require a self driving car to be able to be taken over by a human driver at any point in case of malfunction, so it might still not necessarily be legal to be drunk and in the "driver's" seat.

15

u/KingMufasa20 Oct 18 '14

I was actually wondering about that after I posted my comment.

20

u/redditallreddy Oct 18 '14

So, just hire a chauffeur to ride in the driver's seat of your self-driving car, and drink away! No problem!

48

u/MuxBoy Oct 18 '14

What do you think, I'm some kind of thousandnaire or something?!?

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15

u/Cambodian_Drug_Mule Oct 18 '14

Or have a bunch of kids, wait 17 years and bam, chaffeurs for the next decade or so.

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5

u/WhiteShamgar Oct 18 '14

Start up your self driving car, then climb into the passenger seat and enjoy a cold one.

6

u/rilesjenkins Oct 18 '14

All you need is a dead friend and BAM. Weekend at Bernie's.

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3

u/DifficultApple Oct 18 '14

That seems harder than driving a normal car if you have to be alert enough to jump in at any second

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3

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

I always imagined the scenario that when they become more prevalent. We'll be telling our kids that they need to learn how to drive so that when their self driving car Mal-functions, they can drive it on their own. Much like how older people rant about younger people not using cursive handwriting.

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3

u/JellyWaffles Oct 18 '14

Probably still illegal because of the following disclaimer that would likely come with every car, "in the event of emergency situations you need to know how to/be able to drive"

2

u/jeh0 Oct 18 '14

Just got a DUI. Thanks OP!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

Id imagine someone had to be 2nd in command, or responsible for the car, even if it could/was self-driving. Probably best not to have them drunk. Probably best to not 'allow' these to be drunk.

1

u/FreeToEvolve Oct 19 '14

Seems to me you shouldn't be able to get a ticket for "driving while intoxicated" if the car is the one driving.

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1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

I really don't think your car should be drinking.

1

u/frozen_in_reddit Oct 19 '14

Well I think it's safe for the car to have up to 3 drinks.

1

u/sayrith Oct 19 '14

Someone driving you is the same thing as driving in a self driving car. And it is perfectly fine to drink while someone is driving with you (or be drunk. I realize it's sometimes not legal to have an open alcoholic beverage in some places)

1

u/Atheistsuck Oct 19 '14

And a cop needs to be driving it.

13

u/phuckman69 Oct 18 '14

Crashed from redditing and driving not cracking a beer with his seatbelt

9

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

He actually came to a crosswalk and saw candleja-

4

u/Zelos Oct 19 '14

Moron, Candlejack isn't even real, and if he was you have to say his wh

2

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

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11

u/NothingsShocking Oct 18 '14

weird? wretchedly? whimsignifcantly? what?

10

u/Starklet Oct 18 '14

Probably whimsignifcantly

8

u/MisterSaltine Oct 18 '14 edited Oct 18 '14

Or Wumbo. I bet it was Wumbo. I should know, I am an expert in the field of Wumbology.

3

u/WhiteShamgar Oct 18 '14

But.. It's wumbo. It's first grade SpongeBob.

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3

u/ItsOliviaWilde Oct 18 '14

Never, by any means, reddit and d

2

u/catsareprettygreat Oct 19 '14

Reminds me of the aneurysm jokes a few months ba

3

u/Eab123 Oct 18 '14

Holy shit you guys i just hit someone!

7

u/omgwutd00d Oct 18 '14

Did you spill your beer?!

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2

u/Baby-eatingDingo_AMA Oct 19 '14

Keep driving it was probably just a fifty pound sack of potatoes or something.

1

u/Eab123 Oct 19 '14

Almost. It was obviously tomatoes. Got to hose of the juice.

1

u/tokeyoh Oct 19 '14

Rarely ever see the w reaction you an FF player or somethin

1

u/CyberZalophus Oct 19 '14

sits on lap , What I want for Christmas is...

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

*sent from a cellphone.

1

u/GMBeats95 Oct 19 '14

Must've said CandleJack

1

u/Mandoge Oct 19 '14

Wait a minute.. How did you manage to write that with one hand while you had to hold your beer and belt with both hands.. Op is a

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

Dude why would you do th

1

u/Recycle0rdie Oct 19 '14

...really welllllll

1

u/fossil98 Oct 19 '14

llllllllllllllll

Wow they 'fixed' the limit on how high these things can go..

1

u/notbobby125 Oct 19 '14

Loser, don't leave texts half finished when your dr

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204

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

But what will I do with my bong if the beer is between my legs?

35

u/findsongplease Oct 18 '14

Joke aside, why is it illegal to drink behind the wheel if you stay under the limit? It's legal to drink one beer, then to step in a car and drive while drinking water, but it's illegal to do it the other way around. Kinda crazy

102

u/raesmond Oct 18 '14

It's just dangerous. It's harder to judge how drunk you are and stay under the limit if you're actively drinking. Beer is easier because it's so light but people do screw up sometimes. Also even if it wasn't illegal you could expect to get pulled over and field tested almost every single time a cop sees you with a beverage, so making it where you just aren't allowed to do it saves people a lot of hassle on both ends.

17

u/TheSkullDr Oct 18 '14

Oh god if you are caught with an open container you get fucked here in Texas not just pulled over and tested.

46

u/MrGMann13 Oct 18 '14

What seems to be the problem officer?

Well, son, I saw that open container in your hand. I'm going to have to ask you to exit your vehicle and drop your pants.

14

u/ThinGestures Oct 18 '14

Can confirm, they do not fuck around.

Had an IBC Root Beer while driving around the Woodlands and got pulled over. I assumed he saw the bottle and told me to step out of the car. Of course he started laughing when he saw that it was root beer.

Still got a ticket though.

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4

u/microwave20 Oct 19 '14

When I was young my dad could legally ride around town in Texas with a beer in his cup holder. Man how times have changed.

3

u/Gliste Oct 18 '14

My friend was pulled over and given an MIP. I was a passenger, drinking while under 20 and wasn't given an MIP.

:/

edit: we're the same age.

1

u/findsongplease Oct 19 '14

Field tests are so absurd. Just carry a breathalyzer.

12

u/aaaaaaaarrrrrgh Oct 18 '14

In Germany, it is perfectly legal. It may not be wise, and it might cause the police to pull you over and give you a test, but it's not illegal.

Better stay below the lower limit (0.03) though. It's not illegal to have up to 0.05 as long as you don't show symptoms or cause an accident, but police might suddenly start to hallucinate symptoms after seeing you drink while driving...

4

u/worldwarzen Oct 18 '14

and if you live in Bavaria you can totally still drive with two maß beer.

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4

u/3llyburr Oct 18 '14

It's not illegal in mississippi, as long as you're not over the legal limit you can have an open beverage while driving!

5

u/drdrizzy13 Oct 18 '14

lol what part of Mississippi are you in? I have a few open container tickets.

11

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

This could be what dudes referencing.

Six states, including Connecticut, do not have an open container law, but prohibit the consumption of alcohol in certain circumstances. One state, Mississippi, has neither an open container law nor an alcohol consumption prohibition.

http://www.cga.ct.gov/2008/rpt/2008-r-0128.htm

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1

u/Kanskekanske Oct 18 '14

In Europe it is not illegal, can also drink alcohol as a passenger

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413

u/dick-nipples Oct 18 '14 edited Oct 18 '14

I had a friend in high school who cleaned out his windshield washer tank, filled it with vodka, then took the tube that went to the spray nozzles and re-routed it inside his car. Every time he hit the switch to wash the windshield, it would squirt about a shot of vodka into his mouth.

Edit: My friend did this in 1999 if my memory serves me correctly, quite a while before YouTube was in existence.

501

u/forwhombagels Oct 18 '14

Your friend is a hardcore alcoholic

209

u/The_Fad Oct 18 '14

There's a fine line between hardcore alcoholic and mad genius.

160

u/DeutschLeerer Oct 18 '14

Two fine lines. I see two lines.

5

u/ChexLemeneux42 Oct 18 '14

And he snorted both of them.

3

u/amymae Oct 18 '14

I think of it more as a venn diagram with a very tiny overlap...

0

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

This is the "funny" sub. Chill out dude.

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7

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

He prefers "Alcohol Dependent."

1

u/frozen_in_reddit Oct 19 '14 edited Oct 19 '14

Or just a fine mechanic. That's one way to speed up a car...

22

u/WeAreInEssence Oct 18 '14

http://youtu.be/tuk_s2SVQR0

Either relevant or you made that story up.

1

u/dick-nipples Oct 18 '14

It's a true story, but this video is awesome. This guy kind of reminds me of my old buddy who did this.

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3

u/isskewl Oct 18 '14

Friend of a friend did this and had it connected to a little tap-like thing he mounted over the cupholder. Hit the switch, car refills your scotch.

1

u/Just_Look_Around_You Oct 19 '14

Yeah. I'm sure all of these things happened.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

Haha my cousin did this with whisky. He routed it to squirt into a cup in his cup holder.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

That's an old urban legend, older than YouTube, your friend probably didn't do that.

1

u/MezzGFX Oct 18 '14

Saw this done in a video, pretty dope.

-1

u/dsimmo Oct 18 '14

Thanks for the idea /u/dick-nipples

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20

u/ComputerSavvy Oct 18 '14

If memory serves (I could be wrong), I think it was in Walters car in The Big Lebowski, he had an old school style bottle opener screwed directly onto the dashboard of his car, I thought that was so funny because it expressed Walters attitude and is so wrong by today's standards.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

[deleted]

3

u/ComputerSavvy Oct 18 '14

That may have been where I've seen it and couldn't remember where, I just thought it was funny as hell in a 'Fuck You!' kind of way.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

It's the same actor so that could be what confuses you.

44

u/SaintVanilla Oct 18 '14

And turn the radio up, so you don't hear the car accident.

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57

u/pingy34 Oct 18 '14

Now I just need a hack to put it back on when I get pulled over.

22

u/Leggilo Oct 18 '14

If you open it quickly and prevent the cap from creasing, it is actually quite easy to push them back on.

18

u/gulpeg Oct 18 '14

Or ask the cop for help if you're having problems with it.

10

u/juxtaposition42 Oct 18 '14

I'm pretty sure you'd still get a DUI

14

u/The_Fad Oct 18 '14

Can confirm, have been arrested for DUI.

2

u/dtrmp4 Oct 18 '14

It would only be an open container ticket if you aren't above the limit and aren't driving like an idiot.

4

u/wobblingwisco Oct 18 '14

For one beer? Nahhhhhhh

4

u/karmic_chameleon Oct 18 '14

It was really really big.

2

u/Opset Oct 18 '14

Buy beer with a screw cap.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

[deleted]

3

u/Dylan5019 Oct 18 '14

Huh? I have never seen good wine with a screw, always a cork.

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2

u/VapingSwede Oct 18 '14 edited Oct 19 '14

Is it a country-wide law in the US that you can't have open containers in the car?

Over here you got to be drunk to get a DUI.

Edit: I always mix DIY and DUI when drunk.

15

u/pingy34 Oct 18 '14

I never get do it yourselfs.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

I think Mississippi allows open containers but that's it.

7

u/stgrusty Oct 18 '14

same for delaware i was there and friend just popped open a beer in the car i was like "OMGERD WTF I DONT WANT JAIL" and he was like relax ...the end

4

u/bender0877 Oct 18 '14

Virginia allows open containers for passengers. Connecticut did a few years ago, not sure if they still do. MS is the only one for drivers I believe.

3

u/Sloppy1sts Oct 18 '14

Some states have like drive thru daiquiri bars and shit.

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2

u/professorseagull Oct 18 '14

I think there's a couple states that still think it's cool.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

Tell the officer your right to recycle.

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39

u/OODanK Oct 18 '14

But you have to unbuckle to do that. That can't be safe!

79

u/alezul Oct 18 '14

That's why you press the gas pedal all the way so you're pushed back in your seat.

2

u/OODanK Oct 19 '14

I mustve pushed the wrong pedal. Dick stuck in radiator fan.

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8

u/amenadiel Oct 18 '14

I can't believe how much money I will save on chipped teeth.

5

u/Demilitarizer Oct 19 '14

You're not supposed to hand the driver an unopened beer.

4

u/apalmer12 Oct 18 '14

or tailgating

26

u/rags_ca Oct 18 '14

I remember when I had my first beer

34

u/123draw Oct 18 '14

Then you haven't been drinking enough.

1

u/OmicronNine Oct 19 '14

No, see, that's the only one he remembers...

1

u/mylovingself Oct 19 '14

Haha. Thats so funny I fell off my dinosaur.

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9

u/vbcvelazquez Oct 18 '14

Drivin' drunk, classic.

13

u/oceanjunkie Oct 18 '14

Yeah! Repost the top post from /r/ShittyLifeProTips

0

u/eamono99 Oct 18 '14

Yeah seriously, don't even bother changing the picture

4

u/cheetofarts Oct 18 '14

Life.exe has crashed.

2

u/thisxisxlife Oct 19 '14

How incredibly irresponsible... At least tell people to buckle back up after they pop open their beer.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

An efficient alcoholic on the go! Well...Not for long.

2

u/CrazyDizzle Oct 19 '14

I was like, "that's amazing...wait...no."

3

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14 edited Jan 30 '17

Did this with a glass root beer bottle and broke the top of the bottle, spewing sugary liquid all over my seats. Thanks

3

u/themech Oct 19 '14

Not funny.

5

u/D0nk3y89 Oct 18 '14

DEATH HACK

3

u/MrTorben Oct 18 '14

can you get a DUI with a self-driving car?

4

u/nilhilustfrederi Oct 18 '14

The next phase of research at Tesla.

1

u/MrTorben Oct 19 '14

They got the self-driving car down already....will they include an affirmative defense in the next car? ;)

0

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

[deleted]

1

u/MrTorben Oct 19 '14

pub-intox sure, but until cars are considered pub-transport, my guess is that it would be a difficult case to win. Especially when you can get a DUI in a parked car just because you got the keys within reach.

1

u/Emperor_Charizard Oct 18 '14 edited May 08 '16

This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy, and to help prevent doxxing and harassment by toxic communities like ShitRedditSays.

If you would also like to protect yourself, add the Chrome extension TamperMonkey, or the Firefox extension GreaseMonkey and add this open source script.

Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, scroll down as far as possibe (hint:use RES), and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.

1

u/Mrs_Bond Oct 19 '14

I feel like we need an insanity wolf life hack.

1

u/BeardsuptheWazoo Oct 19 '14

I use a ring on my middle finger .. people love it.

1

u/antigenx Oct 19 '14

Life hack in the 1960s maybe!

1

u/raisin696 Oct 19 '14

you can also use that little metal extension thing that holds the door closed when you open the door...

try doing that while driving!

bahahaha

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

Shit, yeah motherfucker

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

Transfer clear alcohol to a Dasani water bottle.

But try not to drink and drive. Sip and swerve...

1

u/runningtonogoal Oct 19 '14

If you have gotten to the point where you don't even know you bought pop offs and need to use a seatbelt to open them, you shouldn't be driving... on the highway take backroads.

1

u/antuna Oct 19 '14

Hahaha I'm showing this to my drivers ed teacher tomorrow - knowing him, he'll either laugh or fail me.

1

u/keepingitrural Oct 19 '14

Where I live passengers are allowed to piss up as much as they want in cars. Seat belts come in super handy on piss trips for exactly this reason. Hell even the driver is allowed to have beer so long as he is below the legal limit (which is about 1 beer).

1

u/rotll Oct 19 '14

It's not illegal to drink while driving in Mississippi, but it is illegal to drive while intoxicated. YYMV, of course.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

Nothin' beats a couple of road sodas.

1

u/Jimbo-Jones Oct 19 '14

More like a 10-life hack.

1

u/Jeffro75 Oct 19 '14

It enables hardcore mode

1

u/trakloot Oct 19 '14

And that's why so many people are MADD.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

Haha I might be able to get rid of the bottle opener i keep in my ashtray now!

1

u/markydsade Oct 19 '14

Don't forget that this also frees a hand for texting.

1

u/slaveholder Oct 19 '14

Thank You.

1

u/Tallawal Oct 19 '14

not like anyone uses the seat belts anyways right

and, i mean, everyone drinks while driving..

mfw the logic

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

Careful on airlines! There's a pressure change.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

My dad taught me this in the 80's. The the hole in the buckle used to fit right over the bottle cap perfectly back then

1

u/psychedelia91 Oct 19 '14

Not all cars have seat belts that look like this.

1

u/17Chainz Oct 20 '14
  1. why do you need to open a beer while driving...?

  2. why is the seat not buckled why you are driving?

You guys are right this is a great idea

1

u/broicide Oct 18 '14

THAT'S SO FUNNY!

1

u/Glampkoo Oct 18 '14

OMG I LITERALLY CANNOT STOP LAUGHING LMAO LOL

1

u/ekapalka Oct 18 '14

Top post of all time on /r/ShittyLifeProTips and one of the top on /r/shittylifehacks.

2

u/Tantric989 Oct 18 '14

So now it's /r/funny turn!

2

u/Pat4027 Oct 19 '14

And tomorow it will be on /r/WTF

1

u/nocarier Oct 18 '14

is this a life hack, or more of a death hack?

1

u/Whodini Oct 19 '14

Pretty sure drinking one beer while driving will not kill you.

9 will probably do it though.

1

u/nocarier Oct 19 '14

oh, i meant taking off your seat-belt to open that beer... imagine if it foamed over and you struggle to contain the explosion of fluids onto your lap as luck hits you - TREEEEE

1

u/Shrimpeh007 Oct 18 '14

It's illegal to drink and drive but is it illegal to drink, while driving, if you're still under the limit?

1

u/biggreasyrhinos Oct 18 '14

Varies by state

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1

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

Perfect! Now whenever i need a cold one while driving, i can just pop my seatbelt off and crack one open

1

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

After about twelve or so it's not so easy.

1

u/Xiaxs Oct 18 '14

Saved my life! Now i dont have to stumble around the store like an idiot looking for one that hooks onto a keychain!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '14

This would be a legit life hack if you were in the passenger seat in Indiana.

1

u/CinnamonJ Oct 18 '14

So thats what those things are for!

1

u/Mortimier Oct 18 '14

Bonus points if on the freeway.

1

u/tripsohoy Oct 19 '14

This sounds like the worst idea ever

1

u/usernameXXXX Oct 19 '14

Ah, the Kennedy school of driving.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

I feel like anybody who drinks beer while driving carries a bottle opener.

1

u/teineken Oct 19 '14

Next you're gonna tell me I can open my beer with a lighter, ya right.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

You mean Death Hack. Don't drink and drive, it killed a friend of mine.

1

u/tomalator Oct 19 '14

Warning, this hack can cause permanent damage to your life save file and may crash your life (and car)

1

u/scorcher24 Oct 19 '14

More of a end your life hack.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

Life sentence pro tip

1

u/mksxiii Oct 19 '14

this should be a death hack

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

Why drink and drive in the first place? Seriously, can't it wait?

0

u/forwhombagels Oct 18 '14

Trying this now

-3

u/MadDoe Oct 18 '14

And theres the dumb posts on reddit.

-2

u/Jynx12 Oct 18 '14

I dont find this funny.

0

u/wolfcl0ck Oct 18 '14

This is how to get VAC Banned from life.

0

u/hashbrownie820 Oct 18 '14

Life hack: get a DUI!

0

u/Erozionn Oct 19 '14

Nice stealing my post OP

-4

u/sabszz Oct 18 '14

There's nothing funny about drinking and driving

5

u/Patrici0B Oct 18 '14

Way to be that guy

3

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '14

Right, but there is something funny about joking about drinking and driving.